1. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal
to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out
alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk
to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are
missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance
23. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead.
differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal
to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out
alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk
to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are
missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being
under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want
Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance
23. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead.