Diagnosis at Wal-Mart

Conchman

Silver
Jul 3, 2002
4,586
160
63
57
www.oceanworld.net
-

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind

him," My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."



"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a

urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about

it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a
doctor."



So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to

Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
for
the

urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds

later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
arm


in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

"Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.



That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,

Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water,

a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart,

eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction,
and

awaits the results.



The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

(Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

get better.



Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.