Do women love abusive men? Does this exist in the DR?

wolfdiablo

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Larry said:
Sunnie, as far as warning women about sankies, forget it. There are plenty of women who would read your post and then head straight down there. Some women just love to be abused.


Larry

Larry, while you have said a lot of sensible things in this thread, I think the above comment was absolutely despicable. " Some women just loved to be abused".??????????? Wow. It's attitudes like that which continue to cause trouble for women in today's society. That's the type of comment I would expect to hear from someone who would also say about a raped woman,'Well, she probably asked for it." I am not saying you are THAT type of person but,again, the comment you made is just horribly sexist, insensitive and unacceptable. I really hope you can step back and take a look at that.

Wolf
 

amy2761

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wolfdiablo said:
Larry, while you have said a lot of sensible things in this thread, I think the above comment was absolutely despicable. " Some women just loved to be abused".??????????? Wow. It's attitudes like that which continue to cause trouble for women in today's society. That's the type of comment I would expect to hear from someone who would also say about a raped woman,'Well, she probably asked for it." I am not saying you are THAT type of person but,again, the comment you made is just horribly sexist, insensitive and unacceptable. I really hope you can step back and take a look at that.

Wolf


Wow you know, having met Larry, I glanced over the comment and read it without a second thought. I can see where you're coming from wolf, but it really does help in some cases to know who you're talking to.

Stay well,
Amy
 

wolfdiablo

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amy2761 said:
Wow you know, having met Larry, I glanced over the comment and read it without a second thought. I can see where you're coming from wolf, but it really does help in some cases to know who you're talking to.

Stay well,
Amy

I know what you mean. I am not saying that Larry is a bad person. I just think we need to be conscious of our speech and the messages we put out there. That comment was really bad and, if Larry is the guy you say he is, I'm sure he will realize that.
 

trina

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wolfdiablo said:
" Some women just loved to be abused".??????????? Wow. It's attitudes like that which continue to cause trouble for women in today's society. Wolf


I am quite sure Larry didn't mean his comment in the literal sense. I didn't think twice about it. No one wants or deserves physical abuse, but there are a lot of women (friends of mine included) that like to be with jerks. Emotional abuse can be the worst type of abuse. Ever hear the saying "nice guys finish last?" I think Larry made the comment due to the fact that he'd treat a lady like a queen, but the women he's dated may have been the types not to appreciate it. It's a phenomenon I can't relate to, but I see it happening all over to every type of woman. Many men fall into the same trap, as well...they like to be with a bitch/diva type of woman who treats them very poorly.

Don't read so much into people's statements...you know that no one in their right mind would post such a thing and mean it in the literal sense. That type of stirring the pot isn't needed here.
 

wolfdiablo

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trina said:
That type of stirring the pot isn't needed here.

Really? Well, excuse me for being a woman who would take offense at such a sexist statement. I do not know Larry, he may be the greatest guy in the world. However, I repeat, we should be conscious of our language. The last time I checked, this was a public forum and I think offering feedback on a statement like that is responsible, not an intent to cause trouble.
 

Larry

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Nope, it's true. Some women love domineering men, men who lie to them, physically and emotionally abuse them, etc. Women like that go through their lives going from one assshole to another and that same type of woman would read about these sankies and jump right on a plane to meet one. They are gluttons for punishment.


Wolfdiablo, don't come on here and tell me a comment I made is despicable just because you dont understand it. I spent valuable time trying to give Sunnie good advice on here yesterday. If you have something positive to add, then add it. If not, then go away.

Larry
 

wolfdiablo

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Larry said:
Nope, it's true. Some women love domineering men, men who lie to them, physically and emotionally abuse them, etc. Women like that go through their lives going from one assshole to another and that same type of woman would read about these sankies and jump right on a plane to meet one. They are gluttons for punishment.


Wolfdiablo, don't come on here and tell me a comment I made is despicable just because you dont understand it. I spent valuable time trying to give Sunnie good advice on here yesterday. If you have something positive to add, then add it. If not, then go away.

Larry
I agree that there are women who love abusive men. I completely disagree that there are women who love being abused!! It is a despicable comment any way you look at it.

Rather than getting all defensive here, why can't you just admit that it was not a great thing to say. I first stated that you had made a lot of great comments on this thread. You do seem to be a good person. This is not an attack on your character - it is a pointing out of a sexist comment.
 

amy2761

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wolfdiablo said:
Rather than getting all defensive here, why can't you just admit that it was not a great thing to say.


It's your opinion that it wasn't a great thing to say, everybody knows that now. Why are you trying to force Larry to agree to something he obviously doesn't agree with. This is not the place for word-police, stop nitpicking.

Stay well,
Amy
 

Larry

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wolfdiablo said:
Rather than getting all defensive here, why can't you just admit that it was not a great thing to say.



It was the PERFECT thing to say because it is the truth. I don't tip toe on here and I am not going to pick and choose my words because I am worried that somewhere, you are easily offended. If, after reading this entire thread, you are going to dwell on that one statement as that thing that we should be focusing on then you have issues .

Larry
 

AnnaC

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wolfdiablo said:
I agree that there are women who love abusive men. I completely disagree that there are women who love being abused!! It is a despicable comment any way you look at it.

.

If they LOVE abusive men then it would stand to reason that they love being abused.

Now get back to topic.
 

Music

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It's a cycle that some women get stuck in. They get so used to being with an abusive man and don't know how to be with someone who treats them good. I've seen this happen to women, no they are not asking for it and I'm sure they don't like it. They put up with it because they don't know any better.
So on this board people are always trying to warn women to stay away for these Sankies or men who treat them badly for this reason.
It doesn't always come out right but they are trying to help!
It' not right to say some women love to be abused but I don't think Larry meant it in that way, I personally didn't get that from his post.
 

wolfdiablo

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Anna Coniglio said:
If they LOVE abusive men then it would stand to reason that they love being abused.

Now get back to topic.

I believe very strongly in women's rights and, as a therapist, have worked with many abused women. No woman EVER loves being abused but because of power and control reasons, they convince themselves that they "love" the abusive person they are with. No one seeks abuse for the sake of the abuse itself. Ever.

I believe this is very much on topic. As I have stated previously,I think that many of the attitudes here towards women who have been taken in by sankies are unsupportive and demeaning. I think women here are seen as unable to have the intelligence and wisdom to be decent judges of character. You talk about wanting to take care of people here and maybe you do that, after you have beaten them down and verbally abused them. That may not have happened in this thread but I've certainly seen it happen in this forum.

I am sure Larry probably didn't mean that comment the way it came out. I just think we need to be cautious about the language we use sometimes.
 

Larry

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wolfdiablo said:
You talk about wanting to take care of people here and maybe you do that, after you have beaten them down and verbally abused them.

And who did I 'verbally abuse'? You call anything I posted on here 'verbal abuse'? And you claim to be a therapist? LOL!

Listen , 4 women have come to my defense and no one has jumped on your crybaby bandwagon so maybe that should tell you something.

Enough of this nonsense. I am not entertaining you anymore.

Larry
 

wolfdiablo

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Larry, I apologize if the comment came across as if I was accusing you of verbal abuse. That was not the intent at all. I meant that it has happened on this forum in the past.
 

DominicanScotty

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There is a book out there....

written by a woman with a Phd in psychology. It is called "Women that love too much and the men that hate them". Buy it, read it and understand it. It explains the topic we are discussing in amazing detail.
 

Forbeca

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While it is true some women are attracted to losers I don't believe for a minute they are looking to get abused (the issue is much more complicated than that :cry: and while I don't think Larry's statement was "dispicable" I do realize it is hard for some women to go along with such comments, given our history, etc.


Hope all is well with you Anna!





Anna Coniglio said:
If they LOVE abusive men then it would stand to reason that they love being abused.