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sunshine_79

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Jun 1, 2005
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Okay, so I am probably going to take a lot of heat for this post but after reading over this forum for a few months, I think someone with a new point of view needs to chime in.

Long story short, one of my very best friends here is a Sankie at Playa Dorado, managing one of the nightclubs. No, we're not sleeping together. No, I don't pay for anything, not even a motoconcho ride. And yes, I have told him that if every member of his family dies next month, goes to jail or needs an operation that I don't care. I liked him from the beginning because he is such a funny, animated person and don't we all like to be around people who make us laugh?

We have a great time, he knows that he can talk to me about anything and that I will be nonobjective and nonjudgmental. I know that if I have a problem or need help that I can call him at 4 in the morning and he will be there for me in a heartbeat. He also knows that I would do whatever I can to help him out as long as it is not financial help. I have told him from the beginning " I know who you are, I know what you do and I have a brain so don't even think about grouping me with the hundreds of other girls you use every year".

Once we got past the initial barriers as I mentioned above, a very close friendship developed and I am continually amzed by how GOOD this guy is at getting whatever he wants from the tourists who come down here for a few weeks at a time. I think he is Western Union's best customer.

We have spent hours upon hours talking, cracking each other up and yes, gossiping about all of his " novias". At the time, he has 2 girlfriends in the US, one in Canada, one in the UK and 2 in Germany. I know all of their names, what their backgrounds are and all of the juicy details.

I listen to my friend talk on his phone to a random girlfriend and I hear how sincere he sounds when he tells them things such as " I love you, I have never met anyone like you, when are you coming back mi amore ..." and so on and so on.

I can understand how easily a girl on vacation could fall in lust with him, he is beautiful and he always knows the right thing to say. But what these girls don't hear is the things that he says after he hangs up the phone. I won't get into all the insults but what he is basically saying is that he is amazed at how stupid this girl is and how he could never love someone who doesnt have any self respect and who is naive enough to think they are in love after 10 days.

But as I said, he is a great sankie and to hear him talk, you would swear that it was the real thing. But when the truth comes out, at the end of the day there are two things he cares about and they are money and sex. He will tell you he will go to the ends of the earth for you if he thinks he is going to get a penny or if he thinks he is going to get in your pants.

I have met his sankie friends and I really dont like them because I don't find them to be interesting or intelligent but they all have pretty much the same mentality concerning women, sex and money.

Yes, I'm sure there have been a few exceptions and true love has stemmed from a whirlwind courtship but just remember that FEW is the exception, not the rule.

A lot of people on this board know a lot more about life than I do but my advice for anyone looking to fall in love here - be careful. I hate to be so blunt but your guy is most likely playing you for a fool. It's kinda sad to hear about him taking advantage but I really don't feel bad for the girls he is using. They are the stupid and naive ones, not him. He is making a living feeding off of other people's ignorance which is no different than a lot of careers. What amazes me is the willingness of these girls to let him pull their strings. This is no country for a woman with low self esteem to visit because I think so many people are in love with the idea of love itself and being idealistic like that usually does not turn out well. It may appear to work for awhile but in the long run I'm not so sure.

So ladies, be careful and keep your wits about you. Have a good time, enjoy yourself but if I were you I wouldn't go back home and convince yourself that you have found something special. Maybe you have, I'm sure it has happened a time or two, but I really doubt it and so should you. You wouldn't try to bring the ocean back with you after a vacation because it belongs here and it just doesn't make any sense. Keep the same attitude regarding the men you meet.

This post is not meant to be mean or hateful, just informative. Maybe an insider's view will be helpful, who knows? As much as I love my friend to death, I still think he needs to find a new line of work because I hate to see anyone lose all their common sense over a piece of a$$ and a few sweet nothings whispered in their ear.

Cuidado

Sunnie
 

ggn420

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Apr 21, 2005
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I think you will find that this is the normal "MO" for your sankie. They have to start easyyyyy to gain your trust and support. Sit back and watch which way the wind blows....if you find yourself "falling in love" with this guy....then I'd say you're in big trouble. I know you are young, there will be a million more of these guys in your life.
 

jruane44

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Jul 2, 2004
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I think this guy may be playing you and you're not aware of it. Why would you want to be friends with this guy? I don't care how intelligent he may be or what a good conversationalist he may be, he is still a lowlife. Anyone that treats people the way he does would never be a friend of mine. Please be careful.
 

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
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First Sunnie, I have to tell you it takes guts to write what you did. Based on what you said, some of us might figure out who you are regerring to! Be careful.

Now, I have to question your choice of friends. YOu have said, he is one of your best friends. So, my obervation is that you choose friends who lie, cheat, use people, use vulnerable people and then laugh about it behind their backs!!!! NOt only is he of low moral character but he is just plain mean and you seem to both agree and condone his behaviour!

I do think many of these women are not the brightest lighbulbs in the pack, some are naive, some are gullible and vulnerable. All of us are responsible for our choices and what we choose to believe, so they are not excused from responsiblity either.

BUT he is a moron - a nasty piece of work. AND you choose to associate with that???? I do not understand you Sunnie.

In this country you are judged by who you associate with. That can make you just as bad as him in the eyes of people here in this area. IS that what you want? Is that how you want to start things here?

I also agree with ggn420.... sometimes this is how they start!
 

Robert

Stay Frosty!
Jan 2, 1999
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sunshine_79 said:
Okay, so I am probably going to take a lot of heat for this post but after reading over this forum for a few months, I think someone with a new point of view needs to chime in.

This is a new point of view?

Isn't this what we have been saying for years abour sankies?

Personally, I think these guys are great and deserve lots of credit.
They know their target market very well and know how to work it.

So have you thought about it????
 

RHM

Doctor of Diplomacy
Sep 23, 2002
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ggn420 said:
I think you will find that this is the normal "MO" for your sankie. They have to start easyyyyy to gain your trust and support. Sit back and watch which way the wind blows....if you find yourself "falling in love" with this guy....then I'd say you're in big trouble. I know you are young, there will be a million more of these guys in your life.

I have to say that I kind of agree with GGN. This guy just hasn't played you YET. We all have stories about scumbags that we thought we had an understanding with. The story always ends the same way.

If the guy is a scumbag liar to so many people and is actually doing it in front of you...it should make you wonder how much he respects YOU. These guys are amazing actors and manipulators. They can laugh/cry on demand. It's impressive. Keep him at an arm's distance.

He will try to play you but may use another person to do it. (introduce you to a friend who he swears is not a Sankie....trust me...scumbags hang out with other scumbags...period) A leopard cannot change his spots. I don't say this to offend you but you have only been in this country a short time. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you know the game and are too smart to be played just because he is giving you a glimpse into Sankidom. He is only showing you a little bit to gain your confidence hoping you will drop your guard. He is keeping his real cards very close to his vest. You have heard what he says when he gets off the phone with the stupid tourists. What do you think he says about you? Again, I am not insulting you. But I am speaking from experience.

People have been arguing and trying to figure out why that huge tiger attacked the guy from Sigfried and Roy and few years ago. I know why....because it's a friggin' tiger! That's what they do!

Scandall
 

RHM

Doctor of Diplomacy
Sep 23, 2002
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In this country you are judged by who you associate with.[/QUOTE said:
Spot on. You need to guard your reputation at all times. Any opportunites through networking (for friends, jobs etc) that might come your way will go straight down the toilet when people see you with a scumbag.

Scandall
 

AlaninDR

Mr. Chunky Skin
Dec 17, 2002
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Truly an excellent post Sunnie. Perhaps some person will read it and be a bit more aware instead of saying "this one is different". Maybe the money spent on sankies would be better spent on self esteem therapy. Of course the long term is often trumped by the "pleasures of the moment".
Some people/sankies are like slinkies. They're really good for nothing but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
 

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
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Scandall:

This is perfect: People have been arguing and trying to figure out why that huge tiger attacked the guy from Sigfried and Roy and few years ago. I know why....because it's a friggin' tiger! That's what they do!


It is sooooooooo correct. This is what they do.

RObert: yes, they have perfected their work! They are amazing at what they do. Sometimes it is no wonder women & men fall for it. Let's not forget that we are dealing with individuals who will swing both ways for money!!!
 

Robert

Stay Frosty!
Jan 2, 1999
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planner said:
In this country you are judged by who you associate with.

And this is what 99% of tourists and expats just don't get.
AZB has been ramming this down their throats for years, but many still can't see it. Just take a look around you at the expats that have done good here???

Let's not be tough on Sunnie, she is a newbie to the DR and it takes time to learn the ropes and how things "really" work here.

The post is good and should hopefully open up a few eyes to how things are here.
 

trina

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Jan 3, 2002
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I completely agree with the advice above. Planner said it when she told you that you are judged by who you hang out with. I am very careful about not judging people I don't know...however, you gave us a pretty clear picture of who he is. My bets are 1000-1 that he's already told everyone he's sleeping with you, and you're just another one of the flock who supports him. Just by hanging out with him, everyone has already assumed this. Your reputation is already tainted, however, you will get no confirmation from "La Hermanidad de los Sankie Pankies".

Good luck, choose friends more wisely next time. You post will hopefully enlighten a few, I am assuming your own affirmation will come shortly.

ETA:
Sorry for being harsh - you posted this, trying to be helpful, and we all jump on you, and I'm sorry for that. Thank you for posting this story, but my advice is to run far away from this guy, because Dominicans are very good, helpful people to those they respect. Those that they don't respect will be used. You never know when you will need the help of a good Dominican while living there.
 
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RHM

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Sep 23, 2002
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planner said:
Scandall:

This is perfect: People have been arguing and trying to figure out why that huge tiger attacked the guy from Sigfried and Roy and few years ago. I know why....because it's a friggin' tiger! That's what they do!

QUOTE]---Planner

Thank you Planner. Here's another one of my favorites from playing poker:

"If you can't spot the sucker at the table in the first five minutes...then you ARE the sucker."

Scandall
 

Music

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Apr 19, 2002
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I don't think it's right that you sit around laughing with him about all his girlfriends. It's obvious you know what he's doing is wrong but you laugh about it, don't get it?
Take advice being given to you. Good luck and no more Sankie friends is what I would suggest.
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
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Sunnie thank you for your observations and comments as new comer to the DR you have learned a lot in a short time.

I have to agree with the other posters that say. why be friends with someone that lies and cheats and is taking advantage of these girls. You made think they are stupid and maybe they are but how can you support a person that does that for a living?

Also, you're not there on a two week vacation so his approuch has to be a little different when it comes to dealing with you because you live there and it's harder to hide what he is doing.

Thanks again for your input
 

rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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AlaninDR said:
Some people/sankies are like slinkies. They're really good for nothing but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Remind me never to walk in front of you.:)
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Sunnie, as far as warning women about sankies, forget it. There are plenty of women who would read your post and then head straight down there. Some women just love to be abused.

As far as you go Sunnie, I think you are an intelligent girl but you have two obstacles to overcome; youth and naivete. I agree with all of the responses you recieved. Why did you make this guy your friend? Is it out of curiosity, facination? I can understand that but I would never call someone like that my friend. This guy is a scumbag. His charicteristics will eventually show. He will never be a true friend. He is, by nature, a parasite.

I am only about 10 or 12 years older than you but I have learned how to pick and choose my friends over time. I believe in surrounding myself with positive people; people who I respect and trust. People who I know would be there for me if I need them and who I would bend over backward for if they needed my help. I have found a few of them on this board. I noticed that you have begun associating with a few of my 'friends'. Do yourself a favor an stick with them.

Oh, and that thing Planner said about people judging you by who you associate with......that's so true.

I hope you can appreciate my blunt response. It is only meant as good advice.

See ya on the north coast :)

Larry
 

MommC

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Mar 2, 2002
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Hey Sunni......

This is what I've been saying for years.
Having lived and worked in a resort/resort area for years I've also taken a lot of flack for my association with "sanki trash", however when that iswhat you're surrounded with you do end up 'socializing' with 'em at times. I never had to worry about my reputation 'cause I'm married and hubby was always with me.
One of our best friends today is a 'former' sanki (now gainfully employed in a different career) who would give his life for us if needed.
We never gave him money or gifts or lied to any of his 'girlfriends' and he knew why and respected us for that.
While many of these STW (sex trade workers) are low life individuals who prey on people some of them are just tryng to make a living and provide for their families using the only skills they have (yes these are few and far between) and do move on to other types of work when able.
Thanks for posting a 'like I see it' that MAY (but propbably won't) impact some unsuspecting person who reads it!
 

xamaicano

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Apr 16, 2004
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Larry said:
Some women just love to be abused.

And there you have it. A lot these women know what theyare dealing with, but that is part of the appeal. They want to conquer the bad boy. You don't have to go the DR to see this phenomenon.
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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MommC said:
This is what I've been saying for years.
Having lived and worked in a resort/resort area for years I've also taken a lot of flack for my association with "sanki trash", however when that iswhat you're surrounded with you do end up 'socializing' with 'em at times. I never had to worry about my reputation 'cause I'm married and hubby was always with me.
One of our best friends today is a 'former' sanki (now gainfully employed in a different career) who would give his life for us if needed.
We never gave him money or gifts or lied to any of his 'girlfriends' and he knew why and respected us for that.
While many of these STW (sex trade workers) are low life individuals who prey on people some of them are just tryng to make a living and provide for their families using the only skills they have (yes these are few and far between) and do move on to other types of work when able.
Thanks for posting a 'like I see it' that MAY (but propbably won't) impact some unsuspecting person who reads it!

MommC, did you read the other responses before you? Didn't you see the great advice and direction we all gave Sunnie? Then you go an sabatoge that with your stupid post..implying that it is fine to make some of these people your friends and making allowances for their antics. Nice going.

Sunnie, stick with all the invaluable advice you got in this thread.

Larry
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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In time!

planner said:
In this country you are judged by who you associate with!
This is so true. Truer when it comes to the DR.

Sunnie, in time you will realize that most people in the DR do not condone what these creatures do. Since you are friends with him, many will see you as been the same as him, even if you are not, and many WILL stay away from you.

One of the things that dissapoints me, about you, is that you being a female, it should bother you that he is doing such horrible things to other women. You need to understand that many of these women DO NOT know that they are dealing with someone that does this for a living. Some of them really think that they have found love. True, they should not be bedding the first insect that crosses their paths but the fact of the matter is that some do and are not aware that his morons will be taking their money, play with their feelings and them throw them away like gargage.

See, they don't know that he is a dirty ax hol but you do.

There are so many wonderful dominicans, why would you associate yourself with someone like that it's beyond my comprehentions!. BUt I must say that I am more shocked that you can consider someone that hurts females your best friend. Real shocked!.

Hopefully, one day, you will see him for what he really is: a dirty piece of shi*.

Ps: Please do not forget, when he hangs up with them and you guys start laughling at the women, that some DO think that they are the only ones and that they are someone's sisters, daughters and mothers.
 
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