I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--Tee Mans
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems
--Homer J. Simpson
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
--Anonymous
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
--Anonymous
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
--Anonymous
Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine!
--Brent Roper
--Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--Tee Mans
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill
To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems
--Homer J. Simpson
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
--Anonymous
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
--Anonymous
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
--Anonymous
Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine!
--Brent Roper