Smart *** Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart *** Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."
Smart *** Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
Smart *** Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."
AND NOW FOR THE #1 SMART *** ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I will NOT tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, NO other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced
to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well... I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart *** Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."
Smart *** Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
Smart *** Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."
AND NOW FOR THE #1 SMART *** ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I will NOT tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, NO other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart *** guy in the back of the room raised his
hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced
to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well... I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
