SEPTEMBER 16, 2005, BATON ROUGE, LA (AP) - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be
stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French
Prime Minister Jack Sharaq [sic], who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisianain exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He
and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water and
make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work
to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of
Louisiana.
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
"Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money
on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can
easily invade and take it back again."
The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be
stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French
Prime Minister Jack Sharaq [sic], who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisianain exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He
and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water and
make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work
to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of
Louisiana.
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
"Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money
on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can
easily invade and take it back again."
The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.