Canadian girl dating a dominican in Puerto Rico

Welcome to DR1

Have you noticed him lie to you before? Does he lie to others? Does he think it's ok for all his friends to cheat on their wives? We can't predict what he will do just because he's Dominican, only you know what he does, says and how he treats you. Does he make up stories to get our of jams? Does he give you so many answers that you don't remember what the question was so it's easier to stop asking?

Go with your gut feelings they are never wrong. Not your heart or your brain or the sex but your GUT FEELING

Good luck

leona said:

Am I kidding myself to think that this guy is going to be faithful?

Click to expand...

Read Read and Read some MORE!! This board is full of advice and experiences (good and bad). Use the search function and use it again and again and again

If you're asking yourself this question then it's asked and answered IMO. He hasn't given you reason to believe he's cheating up till now right? Then don't sweat it is all I can say. Truth is - you'll never know unless you catch him at it.

Read this ..... http://www.dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45982 That may give you some answers. I have never come across a culture so 'accepting' of cheating as the Dominican culture is.

Stay well,
Amy

Lindalin1, you have some serious issues! Should someone judge you based on a bad experience with another woman, just because you're a woman?

Leona, the best advice that I can give you is that you should take things slowly and get to know your boyfriend and the people around him (family/friends) as much as possible. Try talking to his friends' wives and see what they think about him. Just friendly conversation among girls without leading them on to much, to see what they say.

Cheating may be generally more accepted in DR, but that doesn't mean that all Dominican men cheat.

Need an advice?

Go live in your homeland and he will never cheat on you.
See the point?
Whomen in Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and Latin America are so sexy and beautiful that there is almost no one man living here who does not cheat on their wives. You want to, but you just cannot because feeling take over and for a moment or two you forgot about your wife.
Take him out of here ASAP and he will stop doing that.
I heard many very succesful stories about Dominican-Canadian couples who live in Canada but a few of those who live here. Take him, but remember one day you can lose him because one day he will want to come back and you will hardly be able to stop him.

Linadalin "It's in their blood...they don't mean to do it"
Are you sure???

You are wrong.
There is nothing in the blood of that we are talking about here. Blood is blood in everyone, does not matter what color your hair, skin is. We all have the same blood ,heart and other organs.

The beauty is what moves men. If you want ask Potato Salad as to if it would be easy for him to be faithful to his wife living in the DR. He is from Asia and he will explane you in graphic details of all what he thinks about all this.

Schooling is important

lindalin1 said:

Actually I am speaking from experience...I really don't have any issues other than trying to help someone....okay, she should speak with his friends and family!!! what do you think they are going to say..."yes...he wants out of the DR and you are going to help him...now that he has met you, he is going to be celebate until you return in 6 month, he will stay at home, cook, clean and will not leave his house until you return..he won't go out with his friends and look at other women because you are his girlfriend"...give me a break..his family, his friends and his goats are all in on it...take my advice...if you want to be with a dominican so badly....meet him in the city that you are at...meet them when he already has his visa..this way you can learn who he is as a person, without having to worry if he is with you for his papers only

Click to expand...

BOY..O.. BOY .. great observation and also great read.

leona said:

I am a canadian girl dating a dominican that lives in Puerto Rico, where I will soon be moving to. Our relationship is excellent, I have never been so happy in my life. We are both financially well off, by no means rich but we are doing well. Everything seems to be going well but I have serious concerns about the way that all of his friends treat their wives and girlfriends. They all cheat on them and I know of one who has had children outside of his marriage. These are all intelligent well to do people not "chopos" as you say. Am I kidding myself to think that this guy is going to be faithful? It's wrong to say that all dominican men are like that because I know that's not case because I have male dominican friends that are good guys. Anyway I need advice because this relationship is getting serious and I can't get this insecurity out of my head. I have no way of knowing if he will or won't but I'm afraid to let this become more serious because of this fact. I can't just relax and enjoy our relationship... Besides this fact everything else is going great with us.

-In need of advice

Click to expand...

I don't think it has to do with being Dominicano. Boricua women are pretty and sexy. Maybe you should consider moving somewhere else, if you are worry about cheating.

The dominican guys I know here in Canada, seem to be quite faithful.

It's just biologically driven!!

A friend we've known for a loooonnnnggg time, who lives in the states with his Dominican wife, was seperated from her in Nov.
Actually, after almost 20 yrs of marriage, she kicked him out because she discovered he had a 'girlfriend' from Boca Chica (who also lives in the states in the same city they do!)

So even long term marriages between Dominicans 'break up' when wifey 'discovers' the 'mistress' on the side.

I know many instances where one 'hubby' or 'wifey' get to Canada, the States, the UK, or Germany,Spain, or Italy, the divorce is only as far away as it takes to get 'legal' papers for residency in the country of the non-Dominican spouse.

Whatever you do DON'T get married and bring him back to Canada......I'm getting tired of MY hard earned tax dollars providing for these psuedo spouses!

Most often there is a Dominican "spouse or spouse to be" waiting in the wings
to re-join their 'other half' in the "new" counrty of residence.

That's the operative word "seem" - that's how they want to appear..they are not stupid enought to want to reveal their cover...and as long as they have you on their side...there goes the neighbourhood!!!!

monsoon68 said:

I don't think it has to do with being Dominicano. Boricua women are pretty and sexy. Maybe you should consider moving somewhere else, if you are worry about cheating.

The dominican guys I know here in Canada, seem to be quite faithful.

Click to expand...

lindalin1 said:

thank you...I really feel like an expert.....find me a Dom. that doesn't cheat, lie, or steal and I will find you a live human that doesn't breathe...DO YOU SEE MY POINT???? EXACTLY!!!!

Click to expand...

Funny thing is... that's why I've never been married, so it would never hurt the other half.That's just way I was brought UP.

You are absolutely right about this one...they always have someone else waiting to come over......but when they do arrive..how green is the grass really???

MommC said:

A friend we've known for a loooonnnnggg time, who lives in the states with his Dominican wife, was seperated from her in Nov.
Actually, after almost 20 yrs of marriage, she kicked him out because she discovered he had a 'girlfriend' from Boca Chica (who also lives in the states in the same city they do!)

So even long term marriages between Dominicans 'break up' when wifey 'discovers' the 'mistress' on the side.

I know many instances where one 'hubby' or 'wifey' get to Canada, the States, the UK, or Germany,Spain, or Italy, the divorce is only as far away as it takes to get 'legal' papers for residency in the country of the non-Dominican spouse.

Whatever you do DON'T get married and bring him back to Canada......I'm getting tired of MY hard earned tax dollars providing for these psuedo spouses!

Most often there is a Dominican "spouse or spouse to be" waiting in the wings
to re-join their 'other half' in the "new" counrty of residence.

Click to expand...

lindalin1 said:

Actually I am speaking from experience...I really don't have any issues other than trying to help someone....okay, she should speak with his friends and family!!! what do you think they are going to say..."yes...he wants out of the DR and you are going to help him...now that he has met you, he is going to be celebate until you return in 6 month, he will stay at home, cook, clean and will not leave his house until you return..he won't go out with his friends and look at other women because you are his girlfriend"...give me a break..his family, his friends and his goats are all in on it...take my advice...if you want to be with a dominican so badly....meet him in the city that you are at...meet them when he already has his visa..this way you can learn who he is as a person, without having to worry if he is with you for his papers only

Click to expand...

I just need to ask you a few things since you it seems that you are a Dominican men hater.

1- Did you followed the same advice you are trying to give here?.

2- Did you got to know your husband before you brought him to Canada?

3- How come you did not know that he had someone else pregnant before you got him to Canada?.

4- How well did you knew him before you started the "papers" procedure?

5- How long did you actually lived in the DR with him before marrying him?

6- Did you kicked him out after finding out that the same day he arrived in Canada to be with you, that his DR girlfriend gave birth to their kid?

7- Did you kicked him out of the house right after the first beating?

8- Did you kicked him out of the house right after he beat you so hard that you landed in a hospital?

9- Did you called the cops so they can remove him from your house?

10- Don't you have any family that could had come to your defense?

In all, take some darn responsabilities for your actions!. Your experience consists of ONE experience with ONE Dominican. One experience does not makes you an expert on Dominican males. You chose the guy, nobody did it for you.

Why didn't you do your homework before falling for someone that you, it seems, knew nothing about. Maybe, just maybe, if you had, you would had saved yourself so much pain.

All men did not made you fall for that loser, you did. Therefore, you are also to blame.

Btw, I am more than sure that he threw "red flags" all over the place for you to see but you were just to much in "lust" with him to see them.

Blame him all you want but don't forget about you since you let him treat you the way he did. Plain and simple!.

lindalin1 said:

That's the operative word "seem" - that's how they want to appear..they are not stupid enought to want to reveal their cover...and as long as they have you on their side...there goes the neighbourhood!!!!

Click to expand...

Well, I may have met the reverse side of the story; the dominicanos I know, they are not married with caucasians but with latin women -Dominicanas, Cubanas, etc...-. and in some cases, it is the wife who is cheating and dumping the dominicano.

lindalin1 said:

thank you...I really feel like an expert.....find me a Dom. that doesn't cheat, lie, or steal and I will find you a live human that doesn't breathe...DO YOU SEE MY POINT???? EXACTLY!!!!

Click to expand...

I guess that I should have someone check me to make sure that I'm still alive! I am a Dominican man, and would not do any of the things that you've mentioned because I have a conscience and like to sleep peacefully every night.

Lindalin1, it is obvious that you are speaking from experience, as you are letting your frustration prejudice your opinion. Your experience with one or even several bad Dominican men doesn't represent the behavior of every Dominican man.

Again, I stand by my advice that she needs to take things slowly and really get to know the guy. I recommended that she talk to the friends' wives, not the friends; and by getting to know the family, I didn't mean ask their opinion as it is obvious that there would be bias to their responses. By getting to know his family and observing them, she can see what type of values he was taught and get a sense of how much they value high morals, loyalty, responsibilty, etc. It's not fool proof, but the more time and effort she puts into getting to know the guy, the more secure she can feel with the ultimate desicion she makes.

Hipocrito Mejia said:

I guess that I should have someone check me to make sure that I'm still alive! I am a Dominican man, and would not do any of the things that you've mentioned because I have a conscience and like to sleep peacefully every night.

Lindalin1, it is obvious that you are speaking from experience, as you are letting your frustration prejudice your opinion. Your experience with one or even several bad Dominican men doesn't represent the behavior of every Dominican man.

Again, I stand by my advice that she needs to take things slowly and really get to know the guy. I recommended that she talk to the friends' wives, not the friends; and by getting to know the family, I didn't mean ask their opinion as it is obvious that there would be bias to their responses. By getting to know his family and observing them, she can see what type of values he was taught and get a sense of how much they value high morals, loyalty, responsibilty, etc. It's not fool proof, but the more time and effort she puts into getting to know the guy, the more secure she can feel with the ultimate desicion she makes.

Click to expand...

OOps! I thought I was the only person who knows live dominicanos: thank you Hipocrito.

:glasses: :tired:

Linda, you are new so I'll give you a little hint as not to offend.
You say,

"from what I have seen and met"

because the reality is you can't possibly know all 8 million Dominicans. Can't judge all by the rotten apples.

Linda, as hard as it is, I'm starting to feel sorry for your former husband. How long did he put up with you?