Custody of child question

tranquilogringo

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Feb 26, 2006
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Dear DR1 people, I have a situation which is causing me a lot of turmoil. As I try to seek the correct way forward, I would greatly appreciate any thoughts, ideas, opinions and/or critisisms anyone may have. don?t really have anyone to discuss this. I would welcome a wide range of views. Thank you.

I am the legal British father of a two year old British/Dominican daughter. For the last two years my daughter has been living with her mother and I have been putting money into a bank account in the mother's name for my daughter's support for the last two years.

approximately three months ago, the mother moved to another town with her boyfriend and left my daughter in the care of HER mother and a sister. The mother now only shows up for an hour or two once a week.

From my perspective, it appears that the mother has abandoned our daughter.

In addition, the money I give each month does not appear to 'trickle down' to my daughter, who now lives in less than desirable conditions without either parent.

I have told the mother, if she doesn't want to care for our daughter, I want to be the father and that, under the circumstances, I want our daughter to live with me where she will be loved and cared for by at least one of her parents.

She refuses. She doesn?t want to care for our child, but she doesn?t want me to either. I have offered to continue the monthly ?payments? to her if she lets my daughter live with me in order to hopefully take the financial equation out of her decision. Again she refuses.

I am lost. I don?t know what to do.

I want what?s best for my daughter and her future.

But what is best? to try to fight for custody with all the mess and problems involved? Accept the situation as-is?

It all seems such a hopeless mess. I don?t want my daughter growing up in a poor barrio without parents, while the mother enjoys my daughter?s ?pension alimenticia?.

I would greatly welcome any feedback on this.

Many thanks for your time.
 

Mirador

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Apr 15, 2004
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Setting pride aside, it seems here that the issue is more about money than parenting. And since it's about money, you seem to have all the leverage...


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Nelly

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Jan 1, 2002
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The child needs you and you need to fight for her as she is helpless. As her father, you have rights. Find out what they are, and make it happen. Good luck, and never give up.
 

Dolores1

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May 3, 2000
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You have a good chance of winning custody and bringing your daughter with you to England. As you have said, the mother has abandoned her. The child's court here works with the child's interest in mind. You would have to prove why you are a better option. I do not think your custody case would be too difficult, especially since the child courts are quite straight here. Or at least that was my own knowledge from a case that I followed.

You should get a good lawyer and follow their advice. Probably Fabio Guzman, the moderator of this board, can give you some advice and may accept to carry your case.
 

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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I totally agree with Dolores. You have a case, but you need to have the legal bull whip to prove it. A good lawyer will document the fact that the daughter is not living with her mother, that the mother is not providing the amount of care that your money should provide, that she is living in another locale, that she has not taken full care of the daughter for an extended periood of time, etc., etc.

Go for the throat. The judge will hear your case and you can take your daughter to live with you. Congratulations...

HB :D:D:D
 

Mirador

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Nelly said:
The child needs you and you need to fight for her as she is helpless. As her father, you have rights. Find out what they are, and make it happen. Good luck, and never give up.


Nelly, a child is not a trophy that you fight for, and the child's welfare precedes the rights that the individual parents may have. The OP mentioned that the child is with a grandmother and aunt, and that the mother visits occasionally. The father lives in the UK, and it is unlikely that the child will recognize the father once he travels to the DR to claim her. The OP does not mention abuse of any kind, only that the child lives in 'less than desirable' conditions. It would make more sense if you advise the OP to travel to DR and work things out with the child's mother and family.

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Nelly

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Jan 1, 2002
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Mirador, never did I suggest that the child was a trophy. The child is a LIFE that you fight for especially if you are the parent. You assume that the child doesn't know her father, even if you are correct, the child is only two years old and will adjust to life with her dad in the UK. His question was should he pursue custody under the circumstances and I advised that he should. I stand by that. The baby deserves the best of what life has to offer. Best of luck to the OP in this situation.
 

rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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Assuming one was issued, were you named as the father on the birth certificate? This may have some bearing on you gaining custody.
 

tranquilogringo

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Feb 26, 2006
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Thank you for the responses and encouragement.

I?m resident in the DR.
I?m the legal father on the birth certificate.

I had a meeting with the mother this weekend to try to find an amicable agreement. It is hopeless.

I guess I am forced to explore legal recourse.
 

A.J.

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Jan 2, 2002
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Good luck to you. The legal path is probably the best especially being you are a foreigner, even if you have residency.
 

miguel

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Jul 2, 2003
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Listen!

tranquilogringo said:
Thank you for the responses and encouragement.

I?m resident in the DR.
I?m the legal father on the birth certificate.

I had a meeting with the mother this weekend to try to find an amicable agreement. It is hopeless.

I guess I am forced to explore legal recourse.
Whatever you do, DO NOT let her know, ahead of time, about taking her to court.

If you do, she will take the girl to live with her just to prove to the court that you are lying. She is Dominican and you are not, thereore they will believe her.

Do as Dolores said and get in contact with Fabio Guzman and let him advice you on your situation. You and him can gather all the information needed to prove that she left your daughter behind. Take pics and videos of your daughter that proves that she lives with her grandparents. A few recorded interviews with some of their neighbors is not a bad idea either. But do it with caution because the moment your ex is made aware of what you are trying to do, she WILL take your daughter to live with her again.

Good luck.
 

Home James

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Mar 1, 2006
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If you have the means, secure an excellent attorney and move forward. It would seem difficult not to persue this. Make sure you can show plenty of income!
 

Mirador

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Home James said:
If you have the means, secure an excellent attorney and move forward. It would seem difficult not to persue this. Make sure you can show plenty of income!

In the DR 'money talks', except in custody cases. Tranquilogringo, you can solve this without making an attorney richer...
 

rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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tranquilogringo said:
I guess I am forced to explore legal recourse.
If you are going to contact a lawyer, I would contact Fabio Guzman, as Dolores suggested. He should give you a fair assessment of the costs and you chances of success. Good luck!

info@drlawyer.com
http://www.drlawyer.com/
 

Nikita_sdq

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Nov 2, 2005
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rellosk said:
If you are going to contact a lawyer, I would contact Fabio Guzman, as Dolores suggested. He should give you a fair assessment of the costs and you chances of success. Good luck!

info@drlawyer.com
http://www.drlawyer.com/

What are you all? Taking a cut on Fabio Guzman cases? This forum is so biased. I have nothing against him, but you all talk like he is the only good lawyer in the DR. It's sickening.
 

rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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Nikita_sdq said:
What are you all? Taking a cut on Fabio Guzman cases? This forum is so biased. I have nothing against him, but you all talk like he is the only good lawyer in the DR. It's sickening.
It might be sickening to you, but until someone expresses dissatisfaction with him via a posting or a PM, I will continue to recommend his firm. There are many posts by people that have chosen the wrong lawyer and regretted it. I also have received a few PM's stating the same.

If you have another lawyer that you have used, and are happy with, post your experience.
 

british bulldog

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Jan 21, 2006
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Best to go the legal way,get the best lawyers,and do what you think is in the best interest of your child.Then have some money to pay the mother off permanently,show some wedge ,and she will sign anything .mirador the op says nothing of living in england ,nor taking the child back to HIS homeland.I dont think he is trophy hunting either.the mother clearly wont agree even in the childs best interest,again another mother using the child as a tool,these women discust me!
 

british bulldog

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A good lawyer is only as good as his knowlage of the law; no more no less ,and law is only a guidance and can and will be changed when it suits.quote EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Mirador

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Tranquilogringo, before you go hiring some hotshot Lock, Stock & Barrel Attorney's at Law firm. Check with the relevant court of law (in this case, Tribunal de Ni?os, Ni?as y Adolescentes), and you will find that there's no precedent where a mother's custodial rights for a child under the age of five has been transferred to the father without raising mayor abuse issues. Alleging abandonment when the child is taken care of by the grandmother and aunt while the mother is temporarily away (she's in contact with the child, and visits at least once a week), is not enough in the DR. You will have to do better than that...

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amandalivoti

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Jan 20, 2006
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Mirador said:
Tranquilogringo, before you go hiring some hotshot Lock, Stock & Barrel Attorney's at Law firm. Check with the relevant court of law (in this case, Tribunal de Ni?os, Ni?as y Adolescentes), and you will find that there's no precedent where a mother's custodial rights for a child under the age of five has been transferred to the father without raising mayor abuse issues. Alleging abandonment when the child is taken care of by the grandmother and aunt while the mother is temporarily away (she's in contact with the child, and visits at least once a week), is not enough in the DR. You will have to do better than that...

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as a matter of fact this is wrong. i myself lost custody of my child with BOGUS accusations of adultery, drug abuse and mental instablility!! the judge was bribed. men take over custody here quite frequently.
i agree that abadonment is probably not the way to go- since she does see the child-
a powerful, reputalbe lawyer is the way to go- so as not to sound biased
the law firms of Biaggi & Messina, and Castillo & Castillo are very good too.