So, you fell for a Dominican man while on vacation..

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blitz

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Apr 3, 2006
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You are certainly not the first, and certainly won't be the last.

Why are so many women succeptible to this? I really have a hard time understanding it. I have been to the Dominican twice, and I've endured my share of cat calls, come ons and of course had a few "boyfriends".

I don't fit the typical stereotypical "victim". I'm not insecure and I get plenty of attention back home.

My weakness? Their dancing abilities. Sure, these guys can dance.. you met them either at the resort, or at the disco. This is a huge attraction to us, because us tourists predominantly come from places where the majority of men have little or no sense of rhythm nor desire to learn.

My main question is, why would you treat this "relationship" any differently than you would at home? You are having fun, and so are they, as long as you aren't giving them money or doing anything against your wishes, why can't it just end at that?

I have troubles understanding most of the posts in this section of DR1. I don't believe that these are terrible guys, although I'm sure there are some. Do you know many guys who would turn down women wanting to sleep with them? What makes these guys any worse?

So please, if you are reading this with a certain someone in mind, I want to say something to you.

Enjoy your stay, relish in the good times you shared with this person. If you have kept in touch, there's nothing wrong with that! Just remember, you were on vacation, everything that happened to you is dreamlike. Please don't mistaken that for reality. The moment this person asks you for money, refuse! Why would you?
 
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milo

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Jan 27, 2005
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Very good advice, recently met someone who has a Dominican BF, returned and spent time with him. I have since found out he is married, hope her heart is not broken and she will end things with him and not judge this beautiful country or the people by one bad experience.
 
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mamichula24

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Mar 28, 2006
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another thing to add

When I went to the DR the first time, I had no idea what a sankie was...had never even heard the term. I had guys wanting to be my bf while I was there, but I didn't take it very seriously. Once they asked me for money that was it...i was turned off.
But if you want to hook up with a guy be super careful where he's taking you. And make sure you bring your own condoms. I went into "town" with a guy and he didn't have a condom with him (neither did I). And my one MAJOR rule was "no condom no s e x"...he didn't like that too much. So what was supposed to be a good night, turned out to be the worst night ever!. Just be careful. And ask where you are going, or at least have an idea of where you are.
I didn't know where I was, or how to leave and that scared me. I was forced to stay with him until he gave me the "ok" to leave.
So have some fun girls, but please be very careful!
 
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Audra

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Mar 19, 2006
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I'd like to share my story...

I found this forum AFTER I returned from the DR in mid February. Oh how I wish I knew then, what I know now. I understand why you guys are so harsh on here, but most are naive until they?re slapped a few times including myself.

I read a posting from a guy who said to one girl she met the Jedi of Sankies. No No, I met him. I thought he was different, (don't we all) until I read the similarities of everyone else?s stories. (Anna, the stickies on Sankie 101, how to tell a good Dominican from a bad etc? so helpful). You see, I am 38, very educated (both book smarts and street smarts), I keep myself in good shape, and get plenty of attention here at home, I have no problem meeting men, just meeting Mr. Right. Let it be known I did not sleep with this guy.

So the Coles notes version; Met my Sanky in Punta Cana, oh he was beautiful, he spoke 4 languages, had fair skin (he is not from the DR). We talked everyday, twice a day. He would call, I would call. It was flattering. The lines? oh?. the lines ? (this is how they reel you in) - this was my one of my favourites ? ?when I come to Canada, and I meet your father, I?m going to hold your face in my hands and kiss you to show your father how much I love you???..Wow, this guy was the ultimate in romance. Who can come up with such a line? (There were so many more). Its also amazing how much we had in common, everything I enjoy doing working out etc.., hopes, dreams, charities I support ? so did he ? hmmmm - where have I read that before? The eve of my birthday he called me at 11:59 pm and sang happy birthday to me, .. He wanted to be the first to wish me a happy birthday. I had minor surgery a few weeks ago, he called before, after, during, worried to death about me, wanting to be by my side to look after me, the distance was killing him, he needed me so badly ? at this point I?m in love!! Can this really be happening to me?
Then, a week later it happened ? ?Honey? ? Can you please send me some money ($100.00)?? ?I need to take a medical test because I am going to another hotel, and I need to buy a new cell phone?. Right away a red flag went up? (DR1! DR1!) I asked him what he does with all his money, he didn?t have a good answer and I told him I wouldn?t send him the money, he was upset. He said ?I thought you loved me, how will we keep in touch if I have no phone?. I told him if he really wanted to talk to me, he would find a way. This was the hardest thing for me to do, but it was also the only opportunity I had to test him and see if he was for real. He failed. I haven?t spoken to him since. I thought he was different, how can someone pretend, and lie like that? it just couldn?t be. I?m still stunned to this day.

But now, its all good, and moving on, I just wanted to say thanks to you guys for all your advice. You were right!! I won't say all hotel workers are Sankies (but it sure sounds that way). I just wish I had known about DR1 before I went down there. I got hurt, I?m mad at myself for letting this happen, I?m much smarter than this, I think this is what hurts the most. But thanks to this forum, you saved me from what could have been a lot worse. I would have sent him the money, money is no problem for me, the only downside would be that I wouldn?t get a tax receipt for a charitable donation!

So ladies and gentlemen, listen to these guys ?. They know what they're talking about!!! Thank you Marlie and Trina!

I'll keep reading here on DR1, sometimes its quite amusing
 
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Ricardo900

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Jul 12, 2004
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Women don't get it!

You should have paid him. The cost of a great time and a great Lay. That's the difference between the Guys who come down to the DR and the Gals who come down to the DR. Women are always getting emotional and putting their hearts out to be broken by these Sankies. All of these women are always posting, Does anyone know Ricardo from Breezes? (ooops):laugh: :laugh: I know a couple of Business women in NYC and they are notorious for having "Toy-Boys".

Audrav,
If that Sanky was treating you nice when you are down there, keep him. You should've told him, "Look Papi, I'll give you $40 now and I'll take good care of you when I return and when I return, prepare to get your knees DIRTY":surprised Tell him: "I've been working out on my thigh-master so your chin-should-fit-right-in",hahaha. And ask him if he knows what a "Dental Dam" is used for.;) If you are really a Bad Mamma, you'll introduce him to "Pegging":surprised :surprised
 
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AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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Wow Audra all the lines that have ever been written he used on you. I'm glad you found out before you invested any more of your heart not to mention money.;)

And also thank you for NOT lashing out at those that were just trying to help you but came across as being so mean at the time. ;)

Stay with us and maybe you can offer help to others in the furture, There will be plenty trust me.
 
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Audra

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Mar 19, 2006
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Ricardo900 said:
You should have paid him. The cost of a great time and a great Lay. That's the difference between the Guys who come down to the DR and the Gals who come down to the DR. Women are always getting emotional and putting their hearts out to be broken by these Sankies. All of these women are always posting, Does anyone know Ricardo from Breezes? (ooops):laugh: :laugh: I know a couple of Business women in NYC and they are notorious for having "Toy-Boys".

Audrav,
If that Sanky was treating you nice when you are down there, keep him. You should've told him, "Look Papi, I'll give you $40 now and I'll take good care of you when I return and when I return, prepare to get your knees DIRTY":surprised Tell him: "I've been working out on my thigh-master so your chin-should-fit-right-in",hahaha. And ask him if he knows what a "Dental Dam" is used for.;) If you are really a Bad Mamma, you'll introduce him to "Pegging":surprised :surprised
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I don't even know how to respond to this.

But I will correct on one thing.... the term is Boy Toy!
 
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Audra

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Mar 19, 2006
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AnnaC said:
Wow Audra all the lines that have ever been written he used on you. I'm glad you found out before you invested any more of your heart not to mention money.;)

And also thank you for NOT lashing out at those that were just trying to help you but came across as being so mean at the time. ;)

Stay with us and maybe you can offer help to others in the furture, There will be plenty trust me.
Click to expand...

Like I said, I find this site amusing. Although, some of the debates go on and on and on and on.........
 
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chella

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Aug 19, 2004
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i did and i dont recret a single minute of it !!!

9 yrs and two beautiful babys and still going strong ......there is a lot of sankies but they are exceptions to the rule!!!;)
 
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blitz

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Apr 3, 2006
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My Story: (well, let's call it Part 1)
I too had no idea what a "sankie" was before I went to Punta Cana for the first time. I was picked up by a sankie (yes, an animator) at the disco of our hotel one night. (funny bit: while wearing my pajamas! don't ask) That night was great, I had a blast! Dancing bachata, merengue, you name it.

Over the course of my stay, we spent a fair amount of time together. The thing is, even if I didn't know what a sankie was, I still had the mentality of.. I barely know him.. he lives here, I live in Canada.. how serious can this really get! I knew it was an infatuation, and nothing more.

On my last night, he asked me to go with him to a disco in town. Seeing as the bank machines at the resort had been down for the past 3 days and I was running low, I asked him how much money I would need. He expected me to pay for not only the transportation there, but for him to get in and drink as well. I told him my situation, and he told me he had no money. So, that was that. Later on, a friend of mine offered to loan me the cash, but I decided not to bother. I went to say goodbye to him later that night, and what a difference.. he was somewhat rude and cold to me. I knew I had made the right decision!!

Funny enough, on my most recent trip to Puerto Plata in March, an entirely different city, entirely different resort chain... Guess who wanders over to me??? He had moved and got a new job. It was a pretty strange coincidence! Small world..... He ended up showing me around Puerto Plata which was a great help. On the other hand, when I arrived I noticed he was very close with another girl at the resort (which was fine by me!! she could have him). He seemed to be trying to "juggle" the two of us. I still had no idea what a sankie was at this point, but BOY I was getting a good idea! Then I came here to DR1, and you guys explained everything!!

For the record, since I know you're all probably assuming, we did NOT sleep together.

chella said:
9 yrs and two beautiful babys and still going strong ......there is a lot of sankies but they are exceptions to the rule!!!;)
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I entirely believe there are exceptions to every rule. The problem is how few people really leave their resort to encounter more than just the staff of their hotel. Dominicans are very warm people, and I have nothing against them. The resort workers are fun to be around, will always keep you smiling, but unfortunately you have to be weary of their intentions.
 
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Ricardo900

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Jul 12, 2004
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audrav said:
I don't even know how to respond to this.

But I will correct on one thing.... the term is Boy Toy!
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No need for a response, you should've seen for what it was, a nice time on a carribean island, no more and no less. Also, if you had the mentality of these sankies being "Boy Toys" no more, you would have loved your vacation, send him $40 and have him ready for your next trip. I have female friends in NYC and they are hard-core, they would go down and have those sankies sucking their toes. Remember, they need you more than you need them.
 
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corazonpartioamor

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Apr 28, 2006
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From my experience its all about Survival. They have learned quickly how to be the victim and when the buck stops or is not delivered they move on to the next one who will put out the cash. The minute they see the well has dried up or the pockets are empty they will drop you like a hot yucca! Good point about the charity receipt, I wish I had thought of that. I have no regrets because I know what I did, I did voluntarily, however yes you are completely right, the second they start to ask for money, turn away, run as fast as you possibly can and if they are still around after you say No each time, then you know you have something more than survival from their part.

You have to feel for a bunch of guys who are raised like big Macho's who are so proud but live with No pride!
 
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Audra

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Mar 19, 2006
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Also, if you had the mentality of these sankies being "Boy Toys" no more, you would have loved your vacation, send him $40 and have him ready for your next trip.


I see your point if you're into that. I can't wait till my next trip back to the DR, it will be much more fun to play then to be played! Keeping it clean!
 
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Audra

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Mar 19, 2006
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corazonpartioamor said:
You have to feel for a bunch of guys who are raised like big Macho's who are so proud but live with No pride!
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It is well known that when people go on vacation down south they pack some tacky T-shirt with something (since I?m Canadian) Canadian on it, or a baseball cap with the Blue Jays or Raptors on it. They use these to pay for things or compensate for friendly service. One day my Sanky told me a nice guy from Canada gave him a T-shirt that had Canadian Centennial on it, for giving him advice/directions for something or other (doesn?t matter). He thought this was a nice gesture, it made me sad. I thought to myself, I?d love to give him a better life, here in Canada, but now, he can rot there for all I care?? with his new T-shirt!
 
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marliejaneca

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Oct 7, 2003
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Audrav...

So ladies and gentlemen, listen to these guys ?. They know what they're talking about!!! Thank you Marlie and Trina!
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You are very welcome! I am glad I could help, and I figured you must have severed the tie to this guy as all the pm's quit !! LOL

That is what we are all here to do, help one another. For some poor girls/woman they have to learn to get past all the rude remarks some posters make, and concentrate on the helpful remarks, that way they will be enlightened like you. I feel some posters, after being beat up on here, don't continue reading and miss the valid, sincere and informational posts that some have to offer.

Now, lets see who else we can save!!!

Marlie
 
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