Age difference in relationships

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amigomexicano

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Do younger Dominican women (18-22 years old) have a problem with dating 30-35 year old men?? I'm talking about serious relationships not the prostitute/customer type of relationship.

Can Dominican women in that age range (18-22) actually feel attracted to men between 30-35 years old? I have been in countries where this actually happens and not because of money but because women at that age value experience in older men.

Say, I'm 33, will Dominican society look down at me if I try to meet 18 or 19 year old girls for a relationship??

I never understood why some societies consider age to be such an important factor in relationships. I never understood why American society would never accept that a 30-something guy dates a 20 year old girl. I mean, in my experience, men become better persons as they get older, not to mention they have more resources to become providers.

According to some studies, women look for 4 things in men:
1) Physical strength
2) Status
3) Resources (includes intelligence, education and money)
4) Being emotionally caring

Men between 30 and 40 years old (or even older) usually have more of these features than men 18-22 years old so why do many societies discriminate against a 10-15 year age difference between partners??

I have the impression that a North American 20 year old woman can actually have a desire to date older men but she has been programmed by society to reject this type of relationship.

Latin culture in general has less prejudice against these relationships but it varies a lot between countries. My country (Mexico) has become nearly as intolerant as the US in this respect but I have been to other countries where they are less prejudiced or they actually find it more positive. How is the DR in this aspect??
 
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Mirador

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Q

qgrande

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Jul 27, 2005
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amigomexicano said:
Do younger Dominican women (18-22 years old) have a problem with dating 30-35 year old men??
I have the impression that a North American 20 year old woman can actually have a desire to date older men but she has been programmed by society to reject this type of relationship.
Click to expand...
Mirador's answer is much better,
But maybe you should try doing a better job at convincing those 20 year old girls they have been programmed by society and should actually fall in love with you.... Maybe you can show them the studies....
I wonder whether you also have the impression 20 year old guys have been 'programmed by society to reject' 40 year old women...
But, well, with a 30-35 / 18-20 relatonship you will certainly not stand out in the Dominican Republic. Do you alreadly have a girl in mind or are you just planning?
 
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amigomexicano

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qgrande said:
Mirador's answer is much better,
But maybe you should try doing a better job at convincing those 20 year old girls they have been programmed by society and should actually fall in love with you.... Maybe you can show them the studies....
I wonder whether you also have the impression 20 year old guys have been 'programmed by society to reject' 40 year old women...
But, well, with a 30-35 / 18-20 relatonship you will certainly not stand out in the Dominican Republic. Do you alreadly have a girl in mind or are you just planning?
Click to expand...

Thanks for your comment. I am not interested in convincing American or Mexican women that they should fall in love with me. There is no way a single man can change a prejudiced society. Just look at all the racial/ethnic discrimination that still goes on in the US and other countries and hasn't been changed by centuries of civil rights struggle and blah, blah. I have no interest in changing society's aberrations. There are certainly many countries where these aberrations are less present and I would like to live in one of them. The USA and Mexico are not on this list and I probably will never marry an American or a Mexican since women from these countries tend to be materialistic, obsessed with status and less feminine. Also, I prefer women that are at least 10 years younger than me simply because they look more attractive to me than women in their 30's. Beauty and youth are very important to a man. Just look at all the foreign men that go to the DR. They don't go there looking for 50 year old women, do they?? They usually go for the young women. I don't believe 20 year old men have been programmed by SOCIETY to reject 40 year old women. I think they have been programmed by NATURE to prefer youth. Nature wants men to look for fertility and energy in a woman while women are programmed by nature to look for the four aspects I mentioned earlier though society has imposed a new requirement: small age gap. I don't have a girl in mind now, I'm just planning to meet someone special in the near future to start a family and raise my kids in a country where there is less discrimination on the basis of race and age.
 
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Rocky

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A lot of Dominican women will have nothing to do with boys their age, as they want an older man who will treat them right and appreciate them.
Young men are usually abusive, around here.
 
L

laurapasinifan

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Sep 19, 2005
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amigomexicano said:
I'm just planning to meet someone special in the near future to start a family and raise my kids in a country where there is less discrimination on the basis of race and age.
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that being the last statement of your post, Id say you got your priorities all mess up. Even if you are minority in the US for example, youd have a better life dealing with the "DISCRIMINATION"...if you can call it that in the us than deaing with some of the other quality of life issues you have to attend to , by moving to another country, especially the DR.

It is not like I am saying people cant come here on make a great life, but few do it on a whim . they have a plan and they have an edge, a niche to get a good foothold .

Id like to know exactly wher eyou live now that is SOOOOOO bad for race and age discrimination.....heck I know several men who have married foriegn women half their age from countries like India, japan, vietnam, and the DR. I am sure there are many more countries where women are sought out , because they have a view of their role in amrried life that is very attractive to men who have dealt with women who think they have so much owed them.... and have realized it as well.

in many countries a woman 20 years old is more mature than most 28 year old women in america.

my daughter is the same age as my GF, and as much as I love her she seems like she is 12 compared to my gf. Maybe because she was spoiled some, maybe because here they just get so much given to them and see others that have so much. I wont send my daughter to college till she grows up! and i think she has at least 3 more years to go...and she is in her 20's.


know there are plenty of guys who seek someone young on purpose. then there are guys who just let the chips fall where they may.......I almost starting dating a woman that was at least in her late 50's...( much older than me..thank you) If you put up all these conditions and restrictions, you are making an artificial choice.........just like who ever you want, and be happy if they like you back. and tell everyone else to pound sand

bob
 
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AZB

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Jan 2, 2002
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It happens all the time. Believe me, you are considered very young in Dominican Republic. Come here and find your 20 yr old girl. There are plenty and you are in your prime age to attract them. I am 43 and I can date girls that age and can even get married. I am not talking about some poor girl from resort area slumbs. My advice would be to find a girl who studies in a university and lives with a full family in a decent sized house in a nice area. Santiago area is the prefered location to look for your mate. You should be looking into a middle class family. Just try to act more latino and less gringo. This means, look around you and see how people are dressed in the upper middle class circle and dress and act exactly the same. Ex: no shorts, no hawaiian shirts, no smoking, no sneakers and do not be a loud ugly american like we know someone in sosua. Keep a low profile and respect the people around you. You will do just fine. The majority of the tourist / expats only deal with the poorest people on this island and support their whole family, then complain.
AZB
 
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MaineGirl

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When I was fifteen and living in Venezuela, all of my schoolmates had boyfriends in their 30's. It's like a sugardaddy in some ways and in other ways it just means he has a car, a job--he can provide a good relationship. Now in other cases, my schoolmates had to hide the relationship but they did it anyway!

Personally there are 12 years between me and my partner and it works fine.
 
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mrmagic

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Nov 25, 2003
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with all due respect what a load of crap (programmed by nature and all blag blah). Men eat whats on the plate. if lamb is unavailable, then they will eat mutton...its a sliding scale.
With respect to long term relationships. Women go for security first which means MONEY. I mean just go to the DR and look around...some of the hottest women youve ever seen with tired RICH old men. where do you see that around the world. Where i come from hot women and men go for hot women and men.

in the DR Women do what they have to do for themselves and the child theyve already had by another man...get the picture! But i prefer these women here compared with the women from other countries....each to his own! you'll find your dream friend...just get a prenup' as per my lawyers advice.





amigomexicano said:
Thanks for your comment. I am not interested in convincing American or Mexican women that they should fall in love with me. There is no way a single man can change a prejudiced society. Just look at all the racial/ethnic discrimination that still goes on in the US and other countries and hasn't been changed by centuries of civil rights struggle and blah, blah. I have no interest in changing society's aberrations. There are certainly many countries where these aberrations are less present and I would like to live in one of them. The USA and Mexico are not on this list and I probably will never marry an American or a Mexican since women from these countries tend to be materialistic, obsessed with status and less feminine. Also, I prefer women that are at least 10 years younger than me simply because they look more attractive to me than women in their 30's. Beauty and youth are very important to a man. Just look at all the foreign men that go to the DR. They don't go there looking for 50 year old women, do they?? They usually go for the young women. I don't believe 20 year old men have been programmed by SOCIETY to reject 40 year old women. I think they have been programmed by NATURE to prefer youth. Nature wants men to look for fertility and energy in a woman while women are programmed by nature to look for the four aspects I mentioned earlier though society has imposed a new requirement: small age gap. I don't have a girl in mind now, I'm just planning to meet someone special in the near future to start a family and raise my kids in a country where there is less discrimination on the basis of race and age.
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S

sevenup

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Jul 3, 2006
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Age Difference!

In most marriages, age gap has been a real problem because opinions do not match, there is lack of communication and understanding and most of the times, the likes are the dislikes of either partner and vice-versa. Married since 3 years, I am getting divorced because my wife is 10 years older than me, and we do not share a peaceful life. :bored:
 
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Jostan

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mrmagic said:
with all due respect what a load of crap (programmed by nature and all blag blah). Men eat whats on the plate. if lamb is unavailable, then they will eat mutton...its a sliding scale.
QUOTE]

I agree, I think in most western countries you don't see too many old men with young women anymore, because these women can get by good by themselves, they dont NEED a man for this. In countries like the DR, even if a girl comes from a rich family and is educated, she still doesnt have the same oppertunities as a man and needs a man to give her economic stability and so dating older men is much more accepted, even quit normal.

But when they have a choice you will see that the hot women go for the hot men and vice versa (with some exceptions) after all, love doesnt have an age :cheeky:

I think it's actually quite stupid if you are only interested in dating older/younger men/women, if you happen to fall in love with a woman that's much younger or older than you, fine. But 60 year old guys that are only looking for 20 year old girls, kinda disgust me to be honest.
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Emma22

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Dum de Dum...First (rude so 'n' so as you are amigomexicano - LOL!!!) I'M 30!!! - What ya mean I'm "less attractive" then those in their 20s!!??!! Darn, I clearly need plastic surgery already to restore me to my youth!!:p

Joke aside, DO women only go for older men for money and wealth??? - not in my experience! Women go for older men because they've GROWN UP!!! Females mature quicker than males and look for a partner of equal maturity. In addition women tend to be the more "wanting to settle and be loved" sex being the barer of children as opposed to the "seed sower"...These factors draw younger women to older men as older men are less childish, more likely to want to settle and over-all more "on their level". I personally date a male of my own age - but I am 30 and so is he - in effect he has "caught up" with me and hence I am happy. PRIOR to this relationship I dated a male of the same age in my teens and 20s GOOD GRIEF how childish he seemed!! It was like having a child on occassion rather than a partner!!
Yes, age-gaps can cause a problem but only if you weren't compatible in the first place...Relationships (good ones at least) are less about age and more about common interests, the same sense of humour and the same desires/goals in life.
But WHY wouldn't a younger girl be attracted to an older male for reasons other than money??? - They ARE in the UK so why not elsewhere?
ATB, Emma ;-)
 
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AZB

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My uncle is 67 and his girlfriend is 36. She is a very educated talented and extremely intellectual woman from NYC. She is also very good looking in appearance. I just know know what she likes about my uncle, he is divorced and retired and not wealthy at all. She is crazy about him.
AZB
 
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Emma22

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AZB, SHE'S "educated, talented and extremely intellectual", HE'S "divorced, retired and unwealthy"...who's got more to loose there? TRUE LOVE me would suggest!! May they forever be happy in each others company. Emma;-)
 
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Rocky

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sevenup said:
In most marriages, age gap has been a real problem because opinions do not match, there is lack of communication and understanding and most of the times, the likes are the dislikes of either partner and vice-versa. Married since 3 years, I am getting divorced because my wife is 10 years older than me, and we do not share a peaceful life. :bored:
Click to expand...
In the immortal words of Mae West, "Marriage is an unnatural state, invented by women for financial security".
Men & women don't have relationship problems, because of age differences, men & women have relationship problems because they are such different creatures and can't get along.
If they weren't "attracted" to each other by nature, they would probably wage war on each other, and kill each other off....
 
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AZB

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Rocky said:
Men & women don't have relationship problems, because of age differences, men & women have relationship problems because they are such different creatures and can't get along.
If they weren't "attracted" to each other by nature, they would probably wage war on each other, and kill each other off....
Click to expand...
LOL rocky, so true.
AZB
 
C

Celt202

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Rocky said:
In the immortal words of Mae West, "Marriage is an unnatural state, invented by women for financial security".
Click to expand...

A colleague of mine once put it like this:

"Women; you can't live with 'em, you can't shoot 'em."
 
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johne

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"We dont live a peaceful life"

sevenup said:
In most marriages, age gap has been a real problem because opinions do not match, there is lack of communication and understanding and most of the times, the likes are the dislikes of either partner and vice-versa. Married since 3 years, I am getting divorced because my wife is 10 years older than me, and we do not share a peaceful life. :bored:
Click to expand...

what the heck is meant by -"my wife is 10 years older than me and we dont live a peaceful life -so I am getting a divorce"
Please explain this mish mosh to me in the next few hours so I can sleep better tonite without giving this too much thought.
Back in a couple of hours.
Thanks in advance for you quick reply. :>

JOHN
 
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momita

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May 17, 2006
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She has got a gun

:cheeky:
johne said:
what the heck is meant by -"my wife is 10 years older than me and we dont live a peaceful life -so I am getting a divorce"
Please explain this mish mosh to me in the next few hours so I can sleep better tonite without giving this too much thought.
Back in a couple of hours.
Thanks in advance for you quick reply. :>

JOHN
Click to expand...

I am waiting for that reply as much as you:cheeky: :cheeky: :cheeky:
I want to read that story!!!!!
I have title anyway-"Officer,She has reached the gun first!I'm not guilty"

Momita
 
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johne

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Jun 28, 2003
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Going to bed

johne said:
what the heck is meant by -"my wife is 10 years older than me and we dont live a peaceful life -so I am getting a divorce"
Please explain this mish mosh to me in the next few hours so I can sleep better tonite without giving this too much thought.
Back in a couple of hours.
Thanks in advance for you quick reply. :>

JOHN
Click to expand...

forget it. Tell me tomorrow. Im tired and I wanna go to bed.
 
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