My honest opinion on the local men.

gdollery

New member
Jun 19, 2006
10
0
0
Hi everyone joined the forum yesterday and after reading alot of the comments about dominican men i felt i needed to add my opinion.

Before i start however i would like to tell you a little bit about my expierience in the dominican republic. I was first here in January of this year staying at the ifa villas in bavaro for two weeks. Whilst here i did make some great friends who showed me alot of things i would not have seen if i had stayed within the resort and apart from one drunken kiss in Mangu that was as far as i went. Basically i just want you to know that i am not writing this through the eyes of someone who thinks thay have the most amazing man waiting for them back there.

Whilst there in January i fell in love with the country and after speaking to my holiday rep realised it was a great investment oppertunity, so i went back in may ended up buying a business and am moving over there in September. No man is involved in this.

Anyway i'm done with the history now to my opinion.

It seems alot of people on this forum are tarnishing all 'lower class' dominican men who work within the resorts with the same sankie brush, and i feel this is completly unfair. i Find it impossible to believe that every man ,who works within the entertainment section or on the beach or wherever, reasons for speaking to tourists and looking for that special someone is money or visa based. I DO HOWEVER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THERE ARE MEN THERE WHO DO PREY ON THE VUNERABLE FOR THESE REASONS. Unfortunalty i feel it is the classic case of the minority ruining it for everyone.

The main reason i write this though is for those on here who refer to the 'educated dominican man' as a class above those who find themselves working within the tourist industry.
Whilst staying at the Ifa in January i spoke to alot of men who worked at that resort or others within bavaro and the majority were extremly intelligent men who if they had the chance of an education could have gone on to great things, however alot of their stories involved having to leave school at a really early age to go out and earn money as shoe cleaners etc because for reasons such as there father dying and as they are the oldest son it is then their responsibilty to look after the family. The men who do manage to get an education and a decent job are not the better half they are the lucky half.

Once agin i do not deny that there is a sankie culture within the resorts but i also spoke to women who were a little past there prime who admitted to using these workers for sex and company with the fake promises of helping them to a better life. Are these women any better then the men? In my book using people for your own gain whether it is the sankies false promise of love or the tourists fake promise of money they are both as bad as each other yet i do not see a thread about how bad it is when the toursits con the locals.

Thankyou for your attantion and yes i do realise how awful my spelling and sentance structures are before i get a ribbing for it.

Feel free to post your opinions on what i have said however i would appreciate it if we kept it free of slanging matches.
 

Emma22

New member
Jun 13, 2006
312
0
0
I thought that a rather balanced post myself. I haven't seen any posts about tourists using resort workers for sex either (though I may have missed one) but am not surprised that it happens. And I wholly agree: Any fake promise is a bad one (I can't bare deceit!)
I think the warning goes to everybody: Beware of anybody that declares feelings/love for you in a short period of time...do they really know you well enough to make such a statement??? I personally wouldn't think so - but then, I don't believe in "love at first sight"...Emma ;-)
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
Damn, lady, you must be really brilliant!
Two visits to the DR, five months apart, and now you are a tutor on things Dominican. Not bad.
I do hope you have not been taken to the cleaners with this business venture.
The adage here is that to take a small fortune out of the DR you have to arrive with a large one. Be very wary.

And please continue to write, not to worry about sentence structure, forsooth!

Oh yes, some of your points are quite valid.....

HB , sort of curmudgeony today..:ermm:
 

gdollery

New member
Jun 19, 2006
10
0
0
didn't make a statement just an opinion i am far from an expert on these matters just wanted to write what i had noticed whilst i was out there.

Have not invested alot of money out there so if things do go tits up its not to much of a loss.
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
13,993
208
0
111
www.rockysbar.com
Love or Scam?

gdollery said:
It seems alot of people on this forum are tarnishing all 'lower class' dominican men who work within the resorts with the same sankie brush,
In your own words, "lower class". We don't really believe that they are all sankies, just 99%.

gdollery said:
and the majority were extremly intelligent men who if they had the chance of an education could have gone on to great things,
You are confusing intelligence with education.
They are dicstinct & different. Nobody is saying they are stupid. Quite the contrary.

gdollery said:
Are these women any better then the men?
It takes 2 to tango, however, there is a difference. The sankie is not providing the service he is offering.
The sankie is selling love, when all he offers is sex. If it were a clean honest transaction between two consenting adults, X amount of dollars for a good ole' roll in the hay, then it would be none of my business, but when the sankie is wooing some fat old ugly tourist (Lord only knows how he manages to physically perform) pretending to love her, and she falls for it, what we have here is a case of fraud. A scam, pure & simple.
This explains the contempt people have for sankies.
Is it all clear now?
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
I just love her attitude, keep it up and good luck!!

Not so curmudgeony, right now.

need coffee...

HB :D
 

gdollery

New member
Jun 19, 2006
10
0
0
look i just wanted to post an opinion without it being hacked to pieces by someone trying their best to patronise what i wanted to say. To be honest i think you may have read some of what i said out of context coz what you have hacked out of it is not at all what i was saying.

for starters i am not confusing intelligence with education i know the difference. The point i was making was that just because someone completed school doesn't suddenly make them a better person, and if you look i never said anyone was calling sankies stupid.

And my point about the women tourists who use the men for sex was that they are actually both promising what the other person would like to hear but not delivering the actual goods.

And finally i never denied that the sankie culture is around i just don't think that everyone who works within a resort who has an attraction to a tourist should be labelled automatically as a scamer.

Seriously just wanted to put my opinion down without a backlash.
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
83
What kind of business did you get into? People here do mean well and the ones that live there have a wealth of information to help you out if you need it.

To be truthful I'd rather hear about the business and if you plan on moving to the DR than hearing about the poor sankie being used for sex ;)
 

jrzyguy

Bronze
May 5, 2004
1,832
22
0
[ It takes 2 to tango, however, there is a difference. The sankie is not providing the service he is offering.
The sankie is selling love, when all he offers is sex. If it were a clean honest transaction between two consenting adults, X amount of dollars for a good ole' roll in the hay, then it would be none of my business, but when the sankie is wooing some fat old ugly tourist (Lord only knows how he manages to physically perform) pretending to love her, and she falls for it, what we have here is a case of fraud. A scam, pure & simple.
This explains the contempt people have for sankies.
Is it all clear now?[/QUOTE]

So..its ok for a fat old dude to hire a hooker...or support a mistress...cuz thats all up and front...and another thing for a fat old tourist woman to be sankied?
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
My apologies, if you were bothered. I really should have talked about taking thngs slowly.
This IS a captivating country, that's the truth! However, like may paradises, it does have its pitfalls, and these are exemplified, magnified and personified in the areas of major tourism developments. Ethics, Kierkegaard's second step in his dialectic, is missing in a huge majority of cases, so do beware. And I loved your expression "tits up" .....

Regards,


HB
 

gdollery

New member
Jun 19, 2006
10
0
0
yeah watch out for the english slang creeping in tits up is actually one ain't used for a while.

have got a gift shop with a friend opposite the plaza bavaro if anyone knows it. Am moving over there on the 18th september just gotta book my flight.

Am in the middle of mastering spanish i say mastering i mean butchering,

Absolutly can't wait to go and this forum has been really useful on learning things like driving and visas etc, so thanx for that.

Is anyone out there actually living in the bavaro district.
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
13,993
208
0
111
www.rockysbar.com
gdollery said:
look i just wanted to post an opinion without it being hacked to pieces by someone trying their best to patronise what i wanted to say.
I am not patronizing "what you wanted to say", Are you now saying that what you said is not what you wanted to say?

gdollery said:
To be honest i think you may have read some of what i said out of context coz what you have hacked out of it is not at all what i was saying.
I am not hacking or taking out of context. The quoted areas are your own words, and the whole main text is there for everybody to see. It's a case of connecting the answers to the particular part of the text, one is addressing.

gdollery said:
for starters i am not confusing intelligence with education i know the difference.
Then why mention it?
gdollery said:
The point i was making was that just because someone completed school doesn't suddenly make them a better person,
Agreed, however an educated person has more career options & opportunities in life, and generally does not have to resort to scamming people to make a living.
gdollery said:
and if you look i never said anyone was calling sankies stupid.
Nor did I, or anybody, for that matter.

gdollery said:
And my point about the women tourists who use the men for sex was that they are actually both promising what the other person would like to hear but not delivering the actual goods.
If they are both scamming each other, then that's their problem, and they deserve each other. Now this is the part you should pay attention to.
WHAT WE DON'T LIKE, IS CON ARTISTS !!!
Sankies = Con artists
Therefore, we don't like sankies.
Is it clear, yet?



gdollery said:
Seriously just wanted to put my opinion down without a backlash.
So did I. I was just trying to help you understand. I don't need any of your backlash, nor to be accused of taking your words out of context.
Heck, I'm a male, so I'm immune to sankies.
You, on the other hand, looked like you needed some straightening out.
You certainly are welcome to invite me to no longer reply to your posts, and then bury your head in the sand.
I will honour your request.
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
13,993
208
0
111
www.rockysbar.com
jrzyguy said:
So..its ok for a fat old dude to hire a hooker...or support a mistress...cuz thats all up and front...and another thing for a fat old tourist woman to be sankied?
I will not make a judgement on prostitution.
I am not saying it's ok or not ok.
I don't even know.
But I do know that I hate fraud.
I hate the hypocrites who perpetrate the crime.
I hate hearing about women who are victimized.
I hate to hear about good people being scammed, and separated from their lifetime savings.
I hate to hear about a woman who's heart is crushed.
I feel it is my civic duty to forewarn those who are putting themselves in harm's way.
I believe that if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
If your sister was being scammed and a fellow DR1er knew about it, and did nothing, would you not be angry with that person?
Would you not lower your opinion of that person?
 
May 31, 2005
1,489
21
0
gdollery said:
Seriously just wanted to put my opinion down without a backlash.
It is not a backlash.. Its just that when someone posts their opinion other people will want to post their own opinion about it as well.

It is not throwing your post out of context. It is that some people may read farther into it and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you post, then you need to know that will will get all types of responses because you can write one thing and 10 different people will interpret it 10 different ways. That is why the OP almost always has to go back and elaborate on what they originally wrote.
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
13,993
208
0
111
www.rockysbar.com
An Apology?

Or is it just a disclaimer?
Heck, I don't even know myself.
I recognize that I am a bit obsessed with con artists, scam artists, whatever you want to call them.
So if my reactions or words are too harsh, then I apologize.
It's beyond me why I hate them so much.
I just do.
It's like I take less offense to being robbed by a total stranger, then by one of my friends.
It just seems to be more despicable.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
0
113
You are brave!

gdollery said:
Whilst there in January i fell in love with the country and after speaking to my holiday rep realised it was a great investment oppertunity, so i went back in may ended up buying a business and am moving over there in September. No man is involved in this.

Whilst staying at the Ifa in January i spoke to alot of men who worked at that resort or others within bavaro and the majority were extremly intelligent men who if they had the chance of an education could have gone on to great things, however alot of their stories involved having to leave school at a really early age to go out and earn money as shoe cleaners etc because for reasons such as there father dying and as they are the oldest son it is then their responsibilty to look after the family. The men who do manage to get an education and a decent job are not the better half they are the lucky half.
To be honest with you, you are a bigger "man" than most of us. I mean, to start a business after 2 visits and then relocate to a country that you probably know nothing about it's beyond having "big BOLAS", even if the investment was not a lot.

Yes, the DR is beautiful and it's people are very friendly but after you move over there and see for yourself who truly is your friend and who is just befriending you just to take advantage of you, then you can come here and praise all you want.

I hope that you have done your homework and saw for yourself how foreigners are looked at in the DR, as having money. Of course that EVERYBODY will be nice to you. But do you know their intentions?. And please spare me the "I know them, they are good friends of mine and are good people". How can you know that they are that if you have seen them just 2 times in your life while on vacation.

We know what we are talking about and all I can tell you is:

Talk to us in about 3 years. Let us know how everything is going with your business and how many of your "friends" tried to take advantage of you.

There must be a person in the DR who is feeding you "start a business" information. What's the odd of someone going to the DR and start a business after their first visit, I wonder?.

And don't worry about not having a guy now, they will "fly" around you like flies around a pile of ...., well you know.

Good luck and as I said before, let us know what happens with your adventure in about 3 years.

Oh, by the way, I hope that your Spanish is great. If SOME Dominicans are taken advantage of, I can only imagine what will happen to someone who does not know Spanish, the country, the culture and it's people. God help you.
 

Audra

Bronze
Mar 19, 2006
699
0
0
I don't claim to be an expert on the DR culture, but I have read enough posts about crime, and break ins. Scam artists are abundant, be careful. You say now, no big investment or loss if it doesn't work out, it will be interesting to see if your "friends" will still be there when you're no longer in business.
 

M.A.R.

Silver
Feb 18, 2006
3,210
149
63
gdollery said:
Hi everyone joined the forum yesterday

Whilst there in January i fell in love with the country and after speaking to my holiday rep realised it was a great investment oppertunity, so i went back in may ended up buying a business and am moving over there in September. No man is involved in this.

Once agin i do not deny that there is a sankie culture within the resorts but i also spoke to women who were a little past there prime who admitted to using these workers for sex and company with the fake promises of helping them to a better life. Are these women any better then the men? In my book using people for your own gain whether it is the sankies false promise of love or the tourists fake promise of money they are both as bad as each other yet i do not see a thread about how bad it is when the toursits con the locals.

Thankyou for your attantion and yes i do realise how awful my spelling and sentance structures are before i get a ribbing for it.

QUOTE]

Welcome and I think your post is great and yes now we see it goes both ways on the sankie preying.

btw; its incredible how you can decide from one trip that you want to move down there. hmm:ermm: are u sure you are ready for such a big change??
 

la_barbie

Bronze
May 6, 2004
1,292
39
0
41
Can someone please post something else besides their own views that have been so outdated .... :rolleyes:

I would add more, but I just had the best peanut butter cookie EVER and am savouring the moment lol

..... Damn I'm tired :tired:
 

gdollery

New member
Jun 19, 2006
10
0
0
End of the day this is not a decision i have taken on quickly there has been extensive research done and i have looked into other countries but nothing compared to bavaro.

And i can spot a con 99.9% of the time so my chances of being scammed out there are minimum.

and i don't really see this as a big change now having a baby thats a big life sentence change, but if it all goes pete tong i am young enough to come back to my lovely england and start a fresh.