can it really happen

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jenfau

New member
Jul 8, 2006
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Hey everyone just needed a place to feel comfortable and actually hear some good about dominican men.People can be so harsh and quick to judge.They are only after ur money they only want a visa.I went through it all and i would love to hear that its going to be alright as long as ur have the love factor.I been going to the DR for 4 yrs now and the man I am to marry would fit the stereotype of a dominican man wanting out of the country.He comes from a poor family. (however they are extremly wealthy with their hospitality.)
They don't ask me for money he takes great care of me when I am there,he
is proud to have me with him and he doesn't push me to get married but would love to be married to me and we don't have to live in Canada.But don't get me wrong I do have my moment when I wonder if it's reality to have him come here.Especially when I have a friend who only sees the negative about it .It just feels that there isn't any support or anyone who understands.I am my own person but it does help to know there are happy endings because I know there are alot more endings that are not so happy.
 
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AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
please post a picture of yourself and him and I will fill you in in all the details.
tell me where did you meet him? was it a resort?
AZB
 
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momita

New member
May 17, 2006
194
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jenfau said:
he takes great care of me when I am there,he
is proud to have me with him and he doesn't push me to get married but would love to be married to me and we don't have to live in Canada.But don't get me wrong I do have my moment when I wonder if it's reality to have him come here.Especially when I have a friend who only sees the negative about it .It just feels that there isn't any support or anyone who understands.I am my own person but it does help to know there are happy endings because I know there are alot more endings that are not so happy.
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Hi Jenfau
Why do you ask??If he is so great,if he loves you,if he is proud of you and more if you are proud of him and if he really care of you where is the problem???
If he is your man,your lover,your friend and he support you in each way.What is the problemo?

Or maybe your inner voice is breaking your peace???Do not ask us.Ask yourself.


Wish you luck
Momita:glasses:
 
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jenfau

New member
Jul 8, 2006
47
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Thanks Momita my inner voice speaks very loudly for us its the rest of the world that can make it difficult.Just wanted to talk to someone positive for a change.
 
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Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
614
4
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Jenfau,
The best thing you could do is to move to the Dominican Republic for at least 6 months to a year. Live together and try to make a life. If you both still want to be together after a few months, then you will know its "reality". I was not able to do this and married my Dominican husband after 5 years. When he moved to Canada, he could not adapt to our culture so he didn't last here very long. I think if our bond was stonger, he may have been able to endure. We haven't seen each other in over a year but we still love each other very much. Unfortunately, in my case, love is not enough. You really need to read through the Sankie forum and take the comments very seriously especially if your beau is animaccion/dancer/tour operator. I'm sorry to point fingers but men in these occupations seem to have the most contact with tourists and to be qualified for same, are usually very outgoing and charming.
Good luck to you,
Nelly
 
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azabache

New member
Apr 25, 2006
451
0
0
jenfau said:
Hey everyone just needed a place to feel comfortable and actually hear some good about dominican men.People can be so harsh and quick to judge.They are only after ur money they only want a visa.I went through it all and i would love to hear that its going to be alright as long as ur have the love factor.I been going to the DR for 4 yrs now and the man I am to marry would fit the stereotype of a dominican man wanting out of the country.He comes from a poor family. (however they are extremly wealthy with their hospitality.)
They don't ask me for money he takes great care of me when I am there,he
is proud to have me with him and he doesn't push me to get married but would love to be married to me and we don't have to live in Canada.But don't get me wrong I do have my moment when I wonder if it's reality to have him come here.Especially when I have a friend who only sees the negative about it .It just feels that there isn't any support or anyone who understands.I am my own person but it does help to know there are happy endings because I know there are alot more endings that are not so happy.
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It would be a mistake to try to live for your friends.
The way I see it Jenfau, is that taking risks is part of living a normal life.
 
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audboogie

New member
Jul 4, 2004
313
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azabache said:
It would be a mistake to try to live for your friends.
The way I see it Jenfau, is that taking risks is part of living a normal life.
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yeah but this "mistake" could potentially wreck her life, as we've learned on here that you are responsible for your spouse even after separation...so the best advice one could give is advice that is already given...move down there for year and see how it goes.
 
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azabache

New member
Apr 25, 2006
451
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0
audboogie said:
yeah but this "mistake" could potentially wreck her life, as we've learned on here that you are responsible for your spouse even after separation...so the best advice one could give is advice that is already given...move down there for year and see how it goes.
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Certainly there's more than one way to look at a situation like this--but I put the question to you. Do you cloister yourself in your house so that nothing bad can ever happen to you? Have you ever taken a chance about anything or anyone? Personally, I have never gained anything of value without risking something. Whatever the best advice might be, ultimately the decision will have to be her's, not her friend's or anyone else's.
 
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Jostan

New member
Jun 17, 2006
98
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azabache said:
Certainly there's more than one way to look at a situation like this--but I put the question to you. Do you cloister yourself in your house so that nothing bad can ever happen to you? Have you ever taken a chance about anything or anyone? Personally, I have never gained anything of value without risking something. Whatever the best advice might be, ultimately the decision will have to be her's, not her friend's or anyone else's.
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Absolutely true, but surely any advice to reduce the risk is very good.
 
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Emma22

New member
Jun 13, 2006
312
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Me have question:paranoid: : WHY marry?? :paranoid: :paranoid: :paranoid: How long have you known this guy?? - You KNOW him well enough to marry?? You KNOW this guy "hand on heart"??:paranoid: I have no problem with "risk taking" (Hell! I'm going to visit the big, fat, dangerous DR as far as those Brits I've met here have told me...man, I'm "hard as nails" to have not cancelled my flights already!!!LOL!!!) BUUUT there is "risk taking" and "RISK TAKING"!!! Take it slow pleeease! GET to know this chap WELL - like until you know his faults and are able to tolerate them - until you regard him your best mate as well as your partner - until you know all there is to know about him...THEN marry him!!;) Your chances of a happy marriage will be multiplied 100 times over if you follow my advice...I don't mean to come across as "rude" - I (after all!!) have NO idea IN THE WORLD how long you have known this guy for OR how long you have spent in his company...but you be 100% sure before committing yourself to marriage! I wish you the very best and hope your guy doesn't turn out any other way than you want him to be! JUST be careful and heed advice from others on here - keep it in your memory and be ready to run if all goes "t**s up!" ATB!!! Emma;)
 
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Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
614
4
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The reality is that the risk is VERY high and that there are very, very FEW happy endings.
 
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Alyonka

Silver
Jun 3, 2006
2,757
155
0
There is always a risk in any marriage or relationship. I would think - do I want to marry that person? What would it take me to make this work? What would happen if it did not work out? There is always a way out of any situation - make sure you protect yourself and your money in any case. I would actually live with him for a while to see how it goes. Maybe you will loose interest in him without marrying.
 
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Emma22

New member
Jun 13, 2006
312
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Avrora said:
There is always a risk in any marriage or relationship. I would think - do I want to marry that person? What would it take me to make this work? What would happen if it did not work out? There is always a way out of any situation - make sure you protect yourself and your money in any case. I would actually live with him for a while to see how it goes. Maybe you will loose interest in him without marrying.
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Very true Avrora - the trick is to minimise risk as you say...loooong before ya marry them!!!! I personally wouldn't consider marriage before knowing EXACTLY what I'm getting myself into!!! Such is my advise: KNOW this person WELL (warts an all!) before marriage!!!;) Emma
 
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sarita

New member
May 5, 2005
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hi i met my husband whilst living in the dr. in september we have been married 2 yrs and we have a 16mth old son together. we are still very happy and very much in love. good luck but be careful. our relationship progressed quite quickly but we were living in the same country and spending lots of time together so i think this helped a lot. he is my best friend and husband all rolled into one and i cant imagine my life without him. hope things work out for you.
 
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nikke

Member
Sep 19, 2005
330
2
18
Go down there for at least 6 months to a year and see what happens. Then you might (or might not) feel more comfortable about getting married and taking on sponsorship responsibility.
 
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drloca

Silver
Oct 26, 2004
2,097
216
63
If you have hesitations now, RUN!!! Listen to your head and not your heart. I dont think living together down there changes a thing personally...at the end of the day, you will always be his ticket out. They ALL use the reverse psychology that they dont want to leave their beloved pais....just being brutally honest. Good luck in your decision.
 
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