... and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (stupid question) On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I said that the dog food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
(By now, practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story)
Horrified, she asked if the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had been sitting in the street licking my balls and I got hit by a car.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I said that the dog food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
(By now, practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story)
Horrified, she asked if the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had been sitting in the street licking my balls and I got hit by a car.