As many of you know I was supposed to get married today. As I read the stories in this forum I feel it is my duty to say why I didn't get married.
First, I was promised many things and because I placed my trust in him, of course, I believed him.
The promises seemed legitimate at the time, and we continued down our path.
He agreed to take me on several trips, and one by one, the trips would come and go--he would go and I would stay home. I was disappointed, because my passion is seeing the world and interaction with people from other cultures. However, I dutifully stayed home because I knew his children needed a parent. I had to remind him to call them every day--I began to understand why they were so nervous about life--they had no parents to reassure them.
Many of his business plans that he told me about seemed to fizzle out. Lots of enthusiasm and then, nothing, moved on to the next idea. I think we burned through 4 expensive ideas, three of which were in development, quite expensive development. The fourth actually paid him money, but not enough money for a family of four.
I made a clear commitment to him and his family yet he often questioned my intentions. "Do you love me?" "Will you marry me?" became daily questions, and trust me, it began to get old.
Last but not least when my family got to know him better, there were a few of my siblings who sat me down and gave me the straight talk: listen, there is something not quite right about this--GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
Sadly, I had already cashed in my 401k to help support the family while he "worked on his business plans".
When I finally rented out my property he asked me for the money to pay for another business deal. He told me that the business was a "gift" to me--but I was going to pay for it.
It all became very frustrating to me, and I did the tough thing, and broke it oiff. Tough because there were kids involved.
Happily, since that time (July) I have moved on!
I write this cautionary tale to ALL women.
It can happen to anyone. Recently I watched a show on TV about a girl who was scammed out of her retirement by a guy who was already married to two other women. He married her, and talked her into getting the money out for trips, cars, etc.
Luckily I lost just a little money, and of course, my pride was wounded--but on the other hand, imagine if we had continued down the path we were on? I would have lost my house and property and probably watched him burn through other people's money as well.
So, as I sit and read the stories on here today, I just want everyone who "falls in love" to get their head out of their ass and to see the forest for the trees.
A good man can be trusted with your life, and if he does love you, he'll do anything to help you meet your needs. He won't take from you, lie to you, or guilt trip you into action.
Be wise, ladies. I plead temporary insanity, but I also know that what he offered seemed "too good to be true" and it was.
MaineGirl
ps. if there is not enough Dominican content, Anna--consider this--he told me we could move there, promised it over and over--and in reality he had no intentions of doing it. And as we all know, I always return to the DR.
First, I was promised many things and because I placed my trust in him, of course, I believed him.
The promises seemed legitimate at the time, and we continued down our path.
He agreed to take me on several trips, and one by one, the trips would come and go--he would go and I would stay home. I was disappointed, because my passion is seeing the world and interaction with people from other cultures. However, I dutifully stayed home because I knew his children needed a parent. I had to remind him to call them every day--I began to understand why they were so nervous about life--they had no parents to reassure them.
Many of his business plans that he told me about seemed to fizzle out. Lots of enthusiasm and then, nothing, moved on to the next idea. I think we burned through 4 expensive ideas, three of which were in development, quite expensive development. The fourth actually paid him money, but not enough money for a family of four.
I made a clear commitment to him and his family yet he often questioned my intentions. "Do you love me?" "Will you marry me?" became daily questions, and trust me, it began to get old.
Last but not least when my family got to know him better, there were a few of my siblings who sat me down and gave me the straight talk: listen, there is something not quite right about this--GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
Sadly, I had already cashed in my 401k to help support the family while he "worked on his business plans".
When I finally rented out my property he asked me for the money to pay for another business deal. He told me that the business was a "gift" to me--but I was going to pay for it.
It all became very frustrating to me, and I did the tough thing, and broke it oiff. Tough because there were kids involved.
Happily, since that time (July) I have moved on!
I write this cautionary tale to ALL women.
It can happen to anyone. Recently I watched a show on TV about a girl who was scammed out of her retirement by a guy who was already married to two other women. He married her, and talked her into getting the money out for trips, cars, etc.
Luckily I lost just a little money, and of course, my pride was wounded--but on the other hand, imagine if we had continued down the path we were on? I would have lost my house and property and probably watched him burn through other people's money as well.
So, as I sit and read the stories on here today, I just want everyone who "falls in love" to get their head out of their ass and to see the forest for the trees.
A good man can be trusted with your life, and if he does love you, he'll do anything to help you meet your needs. He won't take from you, lie to you, or guilt trip you into action.
Be wise, ladies. I plead temporary insanity, but I also know that what he offered seemed "too good to be true" and it was.
MaineGirl
ps. if there is not enough Dominican content, Anna--consider this--he told me we could move there, promised it over and over--and in reality he had no intentions of doing it. And as we all know, I always return to the DR.
