I thought I was past all this....

danceaway

New member
Jun 22, 2006
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I read, and I read, and I think I get it, and than , here he is again...and I am starting to act crazy again....why doesnt he just leave me alone......I havent talked to him for months,when he calls I dont pick up the phone I havent sent money, gifts, etc, I try to scare him away with emails that may send the message to him. I dont call him, or talk to him on the phone because I just end up feeling bad and all the old feelings just start all over again, and I will do things that are so unlike me all over again....I messed up, Its Christmas, and he called and I answered, and my heart is breaking again....he begged me to come there and live with him, he said he will get an apartment for us, he has one picked out, its perfect, he said he has changed, he loves me, and now knows that he was wrong before....I do love him ( yes I am crazy ) and I want to run to him, but I live with someone, and he know its, and he said just leave him. He wants me to be happy and live my life with him there...part of me says yes, and part of me says no...my life has changed so much, I am not working right now, He knows I have no money, but doesnt care..he said he will take care of me, and just wants me there...for what ? I dont understand, and after all I have read, is it possible that he changed...I have nothing to give him, and he said it doesnt matter...I dont know what to think...I am too old for this, but I am afraid if I dont go and try I will be heartbroken for the rest of my life...I am not in love with the guy that I live with and I am in love with my DR man....is it possible that he loves me ? I cant pay for anything and he said he will even send me the money to come...I know I am going to catch heck for this, but I have talked everyones ears off here, cried, and carried on.....I need some advise form the ONES WHO KNOW...I have read both good and bad on this sight, and have heard thru PM's many good things...but what to do...even my kids say, go, try, be happy...if not come home...but dont miss the chance to be happy...I A SCARRED.....now, here goes, and I will just take it all in...good, bad, and everything in between...what is all this really about. I trust all of you...and I am at a loss...please help.....I said I will go for a week and we can talk this out face to face, but am I just being completly crazy.....I have property here and many things to take care of before I can make a move like this, but I am afraid not to take this chance, and I am so desperate for some advise that I will expose myself to the ridicule that I may hear...but my heart is breaking...and I am so confussed.....
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
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Yes you're crazy but

in spirit of the season all I will say is go be with him it's the only way you will either be very happy or completely lose your what's left of your mind. ;)

feliz navidad
 

shadInToronto

On Vacation....
Nov 16, 2003
1,988
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....I do love him ( yes I am crazy ) and I want to run to him, but I live with someone, and he know its, and he said just leave him.

...and I am so confussed.....
I concur with both statements (hi-lited red) ... my advice is for you to seek prefessional help. Btw danceaway, how many times do I have to tell you to use paragraphs and blank lines. :ermm:
 

M.A.R.

Silver
Feb 18, 2006
3,210
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If you don't go you'll never know what could have been. But BUT BUT don't think about moving just yet, go for vacation spend time with him, you must get to know him, to know his ways, maybe you can get to know his intentions, how does he treat women and people around him, there's a lot you must learn first, before taking the big step of moving down there. I don't remember what the exact situation is with you and this guy, I would have to go back and read your previous threads, but why not go down there and enjoy yourself but always being cautious, you say you don't love the guy you are with. ......
 

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
I am all sadden by this drama. I suggest you run to your chopo on the next flight and live happily ever-after. Invite us to your chopo wedding please.
AZB
 

MommC

On Vacation!
Mar 2, 2002
4,056
7
0
dr1.com
You have property......
That says it all!
You don't need a job....you have assets that he will manage to convince you to sell when you can't stand living the life of a poor Dominican.....
Merry Christmas.......there's no Happy New Year!
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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Que horror!.

Listen, I have not slept more than 4 hours in 2 days, therefore, I am in a VERY bad mood, so before I take a nap, I will be as nice as possible:

I think you are a lost case.

There's NOTHING we can tell you that will make you happy. You already made up your mind, so what do you want from us?.

You sound like a person who likes to suffer, who likes to be abused. I mean, how many times did we tell you NOT to answer the phone when he calls?. You sound like a weak person. What, there's no males from where you come from?.

Ok, let stop all this nonsense right now and answer me this:

Any reasons why you don't change your phone number?. Could it be because you WANT him to keep on calling you?.

Btw: if you are going to take some of these people's advices, make sure you leave the guy you live with before "pergarle los cuernos" (being unfaithful)!.

Ohh, and btw:

Death to AZB for being a butt licker, hahahahahaha!!.
 

margaret

Bronze
Aug 9, 2006
1,222
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From your personal shopper!

Yes, go to him, danceaway! Stop this madness! You can't live with a man you don't love... follow your heart.

And may I suggest a little shopping before you go. ;) It's not that you really need some PJs, just a little something that's fun to take off.

Victoria's Secret - Babydolls
 

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
4,409
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I will be blunt:

You live with a man you don't love

You crave a man who is 99.9% certain to be bad for you.

YOU ARE COMPLETELY SCREWED UP.

Leave the man you are with. Get yourself some help. You are completely messed up and will only run to the next "exciting" man who pays you attention. Spend some time without a man and see who you are and what you might want out of life.

Then get back in the game.
 
Sep 19, 2005
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....I havent talked to him for months, ....

he said he will get an apartment for us, he has one picked out, its perfect, ...

the little details that people miss......that dont add up is where your clues are.....when the BS starts to flow others can se it, but usually the person involved cant....you havent talked for month but he already has an apartment picked.. and it is just waiting all these months for you to make up your mind...

id say that to eventually breath deep again...you have to go SEE for your self....YOU HAVE TO.....you will second guess your life for years and years...if you dont....you will be miserable, and worse you will make who ever you do end up living with miserable as well...while you toss and turn about WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN....

the other side ( which isnt as bad in the long run) is you go and find out it was a hoax, and scam...total BS...you get broken hearted...but you WILL get over that...maybe in less than a year....when you find out and the romance is dead....it will have a closing chapter, that you CAN WALK away from... and then you will get on with your life... and the next person you meet and fall for that relationship would....HAVE A CHANCE.....

good luck

what ever you do, totally ignore AZB... ha ha ha

bob
 

baileyboy

New member
Jun 27, 2004
392
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My advice-----

I say take the money the DR man has offered to pay for your ticket. (Test his true love to be able to FIND the money to send to you....) Go to him ON VACATION...see if it will work. Don't sell anything or handle your affairs just yet. Go to be with him for a few months, to test it out.

That way you will never have to say you didn't give it a try, and play the "What If" game down the road....

If everything is how you want your life to be after a few months with him in the DR, then settle your affairs back home, and permanetely move to the DR to be with him.

If it doesn't work, or he hasn't changed at all, then you can always come home and move on in your life.

I don't think you'll be happy with yourself, if you don't give it a try. I understand your scared b/c "what if it doesn't work?" at least this way, you'll have an out and can come home without anything lost. (Your property etc....)

I think deep down, your heart has already made the decision, b/c you haven't changed your phone number, and I think you do enjoy the attention this guys gives you. You are living with someone you don't love, and I think you might find Mr DR man to be an excuse out of the relationship. Try it out (living in the DR with him) b/c that is what you truly want to do, but don't sell everything off first.

You may not have "anything" for Mr DR man, but your citizenship is enough! No amount of money can compare to getting a visa out of the DR.... for some dominican men.

My two pesos worth.......
lisa
 

mountainfrog

On Vacation!
Dec 8, 2003
3,146
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www.domrep-info.com
Puppet On A String

....he begged me to come there and live with him, he said he will get an apartment for us, he has one picked out, its perfect, he said he has changed, he loves me, and now knows that he was wrong before.... He wants me to be happy and live my life with him there..he said he will take care of me, and just wants me there... he said he will even send me the money to come...

That's good.

Thank you for sharing your exceptional and rare luck of a once in a lifetime love with us.

m'frog
 

danceaway

New member
Jun 22, 2006
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Much to think about.....

All of you have given me some very good advise and even if I dont necessarily like what I read, I have to say Thanks, you took the time to at least give me your input, insight and advise. And have made me think about many things.
I just got off the phone with my "husband" as he calls himself, ( and he calls me wife....I dont get that, but, yes, I think its sweet, maybe I am just a fool for such dribble) and I think I will go to see if this is the real thing. And yes, I do think it is strange that he has an apartment picked out for us after we havent talked for months, but maybe the truth of the matter is that it was his apt. with someone else, and she wised up...who knows...I have read many interesting things here...
I have many things to take care of first, and I do need to sit down and be honest with the guy that I am living with right away. I do not want to hurt him, especially since he knows the guy in the DR and they were friends during our first visit there. They talked after that and continued to be friends. I told my "husband" that I wasnt with the guy here any more the last time I was there, and he begged me to stay then, but I couldnt because I had many problem and things to sort out here, as we had problems in our 17 year relationship already. I wasnt sure at that time what to do. ( yes, I was the biggest problem, I should never have lied, to either guy, or myself ) Maybe I do just like the attention...maybe I do need help, but I honestly do not want to hurt anyone. Maybe I am just in a 17 year rut and the time to get on with my life is now. I think that I will just go down there and get my own place and see how things go. Trust me, there will be no visa , no property sold
(I have already put all of it in trust for my children and grandkids, and that is something nobody can or will talk me into changing, ever, and he knows this !!! HE WILL NEVER GET THAT, NOBODY WILL EXCEPT MY FAMILY, THE TRUST CANT BE CHANGED ! THAT IS A DEFINATIVE CONDITION OF THIS TRUST!!!) Maybe I just need to really try this from a different approach. Thanks, and I hope I get my head on straight, cause my
'husband" has really twisted it around...maybe thats the plan, so I cant see straight, so I wont know what happened when the bus hits me.........Thanks again, and Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to all of you.

( I hope I will get the opportunity to post some good news about how all this turns out. I guess anything is possible )
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
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Just plain amazing!!!!.

All of you have given me some very good advise and even if I dont necessarily like what I read, I have to say Thanks, you took the time to at least give me your input, insight and advise. And have made me think about many things.
I just got off the phone with my "husband" as he calls himself, ( and he calls me wife....I dont get that, but, yes, I think its sweet, maybe I am just a fool for such dribble) and I think I will go to see if this is the real thing. And yes, I do think it is strange that he has an apartment picked out for us after we havent talked for months, but maybe the truth of the matter is that it was his apt. with someone else, and she wised up...who knows...I have read many interesting things here...
I have many things to take care of first, and I do need to sit down and be honest with the guy that I am living with right away. I do not want to hurt him, especially since he knows the guy in the DR and they were friends during our first visit there. They talked after that and continued to be friends. I told my "husband" that I wasnt with the guy here any more the last time I was there, and he begged me to stay then, but I couldnt because I had many problem and things to sort out here, as we had problems in our 17 year relationship already. I wasnt sure at that time what to do. ( yes, I was the biggest problem, I should never have lied, to either guy, or myself ) Maybe I do just like the attention...maybe I do need help, but I honestly do not want to hurt anyone. Maybe I am just in a 17 year rut and the time to get on with my life is now. I think that I will just go down there and get my own place and see how things go. Trust me, there will be no visa , no property sold
(I have already put all of it in trust for my children and grandkids, and that is something nobody can or will talk me into changing, ever, and he knows this !!! HE WILL NEVER GET THAT, NOBODY WILL EXCEPT MY FAMILY, THE TRUST CANT BE CHANGED ! THAT IS A DEFINATIVE CONDITION OF THIS TRUST!!!) Maybe I just need to really try this from a different approach. Thanks, and I hope I get my head on straight, cause my
'husband" has really twisted it around...maybe thats the plan, so I cant see straight, so I wont know what happened when the bus hits me.........Thanks again, and Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to all of you.

( I hope I will get the opportunity to post some good news about how all this turns out. I guess anything is possible )
This post just proves that what I have been telling you for months is true:

YOU ARE A INSANE!!.

Now you are calling him "my husband", man, talk about desperation. I hope he doesn't ask you to jump off a bridge.

Leaving a relationship of 17 years, problems or no problems, for "the unknown", is beyond me!.

You are nothing more than one of these desperate women Dominican men can control and wipe their butts with. That moron is controlling you as if you were a little puppet.

With all honesty, you are a accident waiting to happen.

An I the only one who thinks that you sound like a 5 years old kid who hasn't had a "UMMM GOOD SEX/BANG SESSION" in a long time?. Plain SPOOKY!.

There 2 last things I want to tell you:

1- Don't forget to read some of the threads "talking" about desperate women leaving their homelands to be with some lowlife in the DR only to be beaten and in some cases killed by them.

2- Please, don't forget to see a shrink!. You have to stop listening to that "little voice" in your head.

Man, the "wonders" a little piece of meat can do. Pure amazing!!.

"BINBIN" FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!.
 
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danceaway

New member
Jun 22, 2006
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mountainfrog and miguel...such harsh words.....

my question to men in general....why do you think it is only about SEX and that is all a woman wants or is after...trust me, even if you think I am crazy, or a 5 year old, (you are entitled to your opinion, and I respect that,) but I tell you honestly.....all of you give yourselves way too much credit when it comes to SEX.....there is much more that a woman wants...maybe that is why these sankies get so much from so many woman, even if it is just a game....they do make us feel good, if even for a short time....and who doesnt want to feel better about themselves, or even loved ? sometimes empty words are better than no words at all and definatly better than harsh words. Think twice before you are so quick to judge.....but as I said, it is your opinion, and the jury is still out........