Do I lay it on the line?

Lustful

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Mar 24, 2007
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Okay. Short summary -- basic line. Older woman visiting DR gets hit on by much younger Dominican man. Same kind of lines used as reported on this forum. So here is the bottom line. I was sexually turned on by this guy. That's it. He did not speak much English and I little Spanish. I am married and was travelling with friends and except for some kissing that was it.

However, I haven't felt such sexual arousal in a long time. I could have easily crossed the line. We exhanged emails and correspond when we can. Yes he loves me and wants to see me again --- same lines again. However, he seems like a nice guy and I am not naive. I get the picture.

I will be returning to the DR to volunteer on a local project working with kids. He does not know I am coming.

So do I listen to the rationale side of me -- this guy only wants money and will eventually ask for it (by the way I don't blame him -- I am aware of the poverty in the area) I should not take advantage of him.

Or do link up with him for my sexual pleasure -- I certainly can't see him getting much out of it? I know if we see each other, this is exactly what I will be looking for. Do I ask up front how much money does he want? If I do give in to my carnal desires, I think I should know what I am getting into and what I should expect.

Any comments. (By the way I am in no way looking for any kind of relationship as I am sure this young man is not interested in this from me.) But boy it sounds like fun. Another question to any male respondents. I am okay looking, of course nice, fun and I'll talk to anyone, but seriously, how do youger guys even get it up when picking up older, average looking women. I can see us getting into the guys but really!!!

Lustful
 

Lustful

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Mar 24, 2007
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No kidding. I am sure their work is not easy. But should I be up front, make some kind of formal arrangement so we don't have to play games -- this sounds a bit like prostitution doesn't it? Well call a spade a spade.
 

mountainfrog

On Vacation!
Dec 8, 2003
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www.domrep-info.com
Clear Cut Contract

...But should I be up front, make some kind of formal arrangement ...
Need not be done at a lawyer's. ;)
A verbal agreement is fine.
But don't pay the merryman until you get to .... :laugh:

.... this sounds a bit like prostitution doesn't it?
So what?
It's an old business, isn't it?
Have fun and beware of SIDA (second highest rate in the Caribbean after Haiti).

m'frog
 

wendy_s

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Oct 26, 2005
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Ay Dios! Lustful, your husband not doing you right?! LOL. Honestly, I don't mean to make judgements but I feel bad for your husband...who wants a bimbo of a wife running around thinking about having sex with a poor Dominican sankie...and paying him for it?

And seriously, stop playin' it like your a man. A man can stick by his words when he says "I'm gonna sleep with this woman...have great sex with her and tomorrow I can walk away...no strings attached." Buuuuut, as for a woman, you know there is ALWAYS emotions involved and it's NEVER just about sex. You already seem like you're caught up in this lala dreamland. Hey, maybe you're different but it looks to me like this is a disaster waiting to happen.

Ah well, to each their own. Good luck to you....and don't forget the condoms!
 

jrf

Bronze
Jan 9, 2005
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well, seems you are already on your way to cheating on your husband - just kinda surprised you would share it here.
Given that - do as you wish and maybe make sure your 'volunteer' project doesn't find out. Not sure how that will be seen.
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
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Ok other than the moral issue here :rolleyes:this is what sankies are for. Use them, have fun, pay for services rendered and leave them where the heck you found them :laugh:

Don't worry, you will not break his heart for using him, if he's a sankie he has used others no doubt.

Oh boy ;)
 

Lustful

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Mar 24, 2007
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Well, Wendy you are right about one thing, I would feel bad for my husband if he found out -- I wouldn't stand for it either if the tables were turned so he will never find out. The bimbo part -- hmmm not called for.

Don't forget you are not talking to some 20 year old. You are talking to someone who has been a long relationship where the spark of sex has dwindled - unfortunately but that's life. And you know what, at times I really miss it. I have yet to act on it but at 52 I am thinking what the hell.

As for acting like a man in this situation -- love em and leave em -- that is so sterotype but think about it -- this guy is like 24. I am twice his age -- no future there -- end of discussion. Not to say that I would not be sensitive to his situation, economic dilemmas etc. -- Sensitive but not a fool.

Yes, thank you and m'frog for mentioning condoms. Haven't had a need for those in many years. NOT sure I really know what I'm doing but this burning desire just won't die.
 

wendy_s

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Oct 26, 2005
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Well, to me it seems that some pay up front and others pay later... ;)

The funny thing is, both are married.... :laugh:

m'frog

Froggie, yes I am married. My husband is Dominican. What I'm saying is I would not cheat or anything like that. And please, don't make judgements or assumptions on my relationship...
 

planner

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Sep 23, 2002
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Lustful - it really is just another form of prostitution. If you see it for exactly what it is and he knows what it is - then what the heck. No one is mislead or thinking it is more then it is.

Don't get caught up in thinking though it has to be this one. There are many to choose from.

As for them being able to do it when you are older, not exactly beautiful etc. Sex is thought of differently here. It is definately more of a body function. You are female and willing - that is all that is needed in many cases.

Protection - do some research on the incidence of AIDS here and you won't be forgetting the condoms! DO NOT believe for one second that he is clean and that he has to be tested for work.
 

2LeftFeet

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Dec 1, 2006
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Do some research on herpes too-- sometimes you transmit before you can see the sores!!

You don't want to bring any surprizes home that you can't explain AWAY!!!!!
 

2LeftFeet

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Dec 1, 2006
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Lustful, I am not here to preach to you it's not my place. I have never been involved with a sankie but my understanding is -- they are very persuasive. You might fall a little harder than you would think you would. If you read the posts you will see all the sweet talking that they do--- you are so beautiful and whatever else he can drum up-- I'm sure things your husband hasn't said to you in YEARS. He will treat you like a "reina" -- like your husband hasn't in Years, you will have sex-- like you haven't in YEARS. and next thing you know........ you are attached.--- to him it's a game-- to you it's/he's filling an emotional void.

Now what..... you have a husband in .... and a 24 year old that can sweet talk you and make love to you and make you feel young again.

Great... well what happens when the phone calls go unreturned, or he can't meet you or he needs money because????? --the cell phone broke-- no tarjeta, school-- whatever......

Think twice maybe even three times before you embark on this "aventura"--from a far it sounds enticing and fun but once you are embroiled in it it might not be as appealing or worth it.

Just be careful!
 

duhtree

New member
Jun 2, 2003
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Head into whatever slum is in your neigborhood and find a likely canidate. Most illiterate, economiclly challanged people have fantastic survival skills.
Just pick your flavor. Stay at home and lower your cost per load, or act in your case, by a considerable amount.
And why show any respect for yourself, family, husband, community by looking for validation here. Eventually, the gift that keeps on giving will be yours forever. Suerta. Duh
 

MommC

On Vacation!
Mar 2, 2002
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dr1.com
If the spark of sexual fulfillment has died might I suggest a therapist instead of a sankie!!!?????
I've been married almost 37 years and both my husband and myself know how to stoke the flames even when they've been at a slow smolder for whatever reason.
Sometimes we both 'window shop' and check out the 'menu' at various 'eateries' but we both take our 'meals' at home!
 

lexi

Bronze
Jan 23, 2007
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Don't forget you are not talking to some 20 year old. You are talking to someone who has been a long relationship where the spark of sex has dwindled - unfortunately but that's life. And you know what, at times I really miss it. I have yet to act on it but at 52 I am thinking what the hell.

You're right...you should know better than to cheat on your husband right?? You want to be talked to like an adult? Then act like it!

I am sorry but I hate it when people cheat on their spouses. And like she says she would be mad as hell if her husband cheated. I think cheating in general is horrible but even more so when it is someone who is married.

I am all for a good time don't get me wrong but not at someone else's expense. Get off the computer and spend some quality time with your husband. He just may be feeling the same way as you...maybe you can both go to the DR together?.....
 

paddy

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Oct 4, 2003
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Keep in mind that these some of these "sankies" go both ways..pitching and catching...be careful... don't go paying for something you can get for free.. STD