Shoe-shine boys

oceanbound · May 31, 2007

When i was in SD last month, I met a shoe shine boy who comes from a very poor family and he basically supports the family by shining shoes. Everyday he would shine my shoes and I would give him a nice tip. We became somewhat friendly and I bought him lunch once. There was NO sex or romance involved on either part. He is a young boy!!!!

He asked for my phone number in the US and I gave it to him. He has called several times asking for money. He says his family is poor and needs the money. This is 100% true.

My dilemma is what to do? So far I have refused to send him any money. But, my heart aches for he and his family. Advice?

2LeftFeet · May 31, 2007

Where did you meet him? Was he in the park by the cathedral?

fightingirish · May 31, 2007

He's not faking poverty if he is a shoe shine boy.

Simple answer: if you want to send him some money, send him some. But don't blame him for following up with many more requests. Wouldnt you?

If you want, you can also direct him to the 'Las Canillitas' program in Maria Auxiliadora, where outreach work is done for the boys.

Chip00 · Jun 1, 2007

oceanbound said:
When i was in SD last month, I met a shoe shine boy who comes from a very poor family and he basically supports the family by shining shoes. Everyday he would shine my shoes and I would give him a nice tip. We became somewhat friendly and I bought him lunch once. There was NO sex or romance involved on either part. He is a young boy!!!!

He asked for my phone number in the US and I gave it to him. He has called several times asking for money. He says his family is poor and needs the money. This is 100% true.

My dilemma is what to do? So far I have refused to send him any money. But, my heart aches for he and his family. Advice?

First of all I doubt this kid was supporting his family by shing shoes. It certainly may have helped but it wasn't doing it all.

You should also realize that Dominicans as a whole, especially the poorer ones feel an absolute obligation to take care of their family, even including second or third cousins so it is very doubtful even if this kid didn't have a father that the mother is being taken care of by family - or even neighbors.

Try to remeber how the kid looked - irrespective of his clothes or even if he didn't have shoes - that means little as many, many kids here are in same predicament. I he was not well groomed (haircut) or had long or matted hair and very thin physically it is a possiblity he could come from a broken family with the mother into prostitution or on drugs. Or it could be that he may be on drugs too.

If he always appears to be groomed relatively well I would assume that he is just trying to milk you for whatever he can get - he is no doubt being pressured by the family to do this as well. Why might you ask? Well, most poorer Dominicans have a real distorted unrealistic view of foreigners in general - they think they are all rich and have money to burn. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff one hears Domincinas saying about the US - like there is gold in the streets, the government pays for everything, etc, etc.

Therefore, tread lightly. It is not that this kid is necessarily bad but very ignorant to the fact that most Americans/foreigner aren't rich - too him you probably don't need the money anyway - they really believe this.

The other issue is if you start helping this kid what will that teach him? Furthermore, if he has family he is will no doubt share this money with them as well. What to do then? - I recommend sending the kid US20 once in a while(not monthly) and let him know that you can't send more. BTW US20 is equivalent to almost two days wages here so it isn't little.

Best of luck - don't hesitate to ask more questions. By the way I'm Catholic and I rarely refuse to give people money if they ask - maybe not as much as they'd like but I still usually give(99.999% of the time).

2LeftFeet · Jun 1, 2007

I know this is going to sound cruel and heartless because he is a child but if you give him money he is going to learn that begging will provide for him. He will learn that he can do this to others and eventually he will have a string of others sending him money--- He may already. God, I can't believe I am writing this.

Does this sound like something else???

He needs to learn that he has to work for his money and he shouldn't depend on others to take care of him.

I have done extensive travelling. It's a huge problem in poor countries. People that have more want to give and give. It's a nice gesture but it turns their children into beggers. Many travel companies are stopping that practice. They will not allow their travelers to give money or pencils or gum. They don't want the association.
What the travel companies will do is collect the school supplies and give it to the tribal elder and have him distribute it--- there is no correlation between the "bus with the foreigners" and $$$$$.

Make a donation to an organization in the DR that will give to the children or maybe -- if there is an organization teach him to provide for himself --eventually ie a trade.

oceanbound · Jun 1, 2007

Do shoe-shine boys go to school? He told me he does, yet he was out shining shoes during the day.

Is grade school/high school mandatory in DR ? If not, what percentage of kids go to school and what is the quality of public education in DR ?

oceanbound · Jun 1, 2007

To answer the above question, I met him across the street from the InterContiental Hotel. There were dozens of shoe shine boys there. Most had not eaten anything that day. What little money they earned was taken home to their families. It was not used to buy themselves lunch or ice cream or a bottle of water. They were all skinny as rails.

What kind of a country can allow its children to have to work at such a young age and in such a degrading manner. They have to chase and hustle countless of prospective customers before they get one who wants a shine. They use their fingers to spread the polish on the shoes.

The bigger questions is this: HOW CAN ANY DECENT TOURIST WALK BY THEM AND SAY NO TO A SHINE ????? Whether you need a shine or not, do it to feed a family with children. It costs so little.

jruane44 · Jun 1, 2007

. There was NO sex or romance involved on either part. He is a young boy!!!! QUOTE said:
What does this have to do with being poor or shining shoes? Or did you believe someone would think you were a pedofile? How old is the kid? My suggestion is don't send him any money. Depending how young he is I would bet that older family members would put him up to asking you for money. Would you give some kid that you don't know your phone number back in the states? I doubt it. Dominicans are great playing on foreigners emotions.

DAKRA · Jun 1, 2007

I know what you are saying but....

Every time I go to SD, I see lots of shoeshine boys working the streets trying to make some money. In my particular case, I often refuse the shine (because I have on shoes that don't require a shine or "clean-up") but I give them a tip which is equivalent of the cost of a shine (usually 10 - 15 pesos). I know that I have a heart because I can feel it breaking every time I see one of these young children trying to earn money in the often massive sun and heat and they appear to be very hungry or thirsty.

I am glad to see that you have a conscience. The fact that it bothers you that these young children are doing all that they can to earn a few pesos for their family (or whatever) tells me that you are most likely a decent person. This is a good thing.

For just one moment, please consider this.... How is this young man able to afford to make International Long Distance Telephone Call(s) back to the USA (assuming you are from the USA) or some other country?

It sounds to me like you are being hustled.... My suggestion is that every time you go to DR, when you see someone in need and you are able to help in a small way, do what you can and what you feel comfortable with to help them. Just be smart!

Chip00 · Jun 1, 2007

oceanbound said:
To answer the above question, I met him across the street from the InterContiental Hotel. There were dozens of shoe shine boys there. Most had not eaten anything that day. What little money they earned was taken home to their families. It was not used to buy themselves lunch or ice cream or a bottle of water. They were all skinny as rails.

What kind of a country can allow its children to have to work at such a young age and in such a degrading manner. They have to chase and hustle countless of prospective customers before they get one who wants a shine. They use their fingers to spread the polish on the shoes.

The bigger questions is this: HOW CAN ANY DECENT TOURIST WALK BY THEM AND SAY NO TO A SHINE ????? Whether you need a shine or not, do it to feed a family with children. It costs so little.

Just to let you know about my advice I gave you please realize that I used to live in the campo in Moca with my Dominican wife and lived like the Dominicans, drinking rainwater and going to sleep by candlelight.

There were shoeshine boys there too and they had families - so just because these kids are shining shoes doesn't mean they don't have families. Also, just because they don't have nice clothes or shoes doesn't mean a whole lot either - most of the kids in the campo in Moca don't either. As far as using their fingers to spread the polish I've never seen a kid do it here any other way and anybody can find a rag.

Also, what Dakra posted was very telling - that this kid is calling you lond distance to the US. Just to let you know this is VERY expensive for the normal Dominican. In fact in a 20 min converstion with you more than likely he will spend as much or more than he would shining shoes in a day.

As far as the other comments about the DR, etc - accept the fact that this is a third world country and just doesn't have the same resources. You should also know that just because these kids don't have a lot of "apparent" necessities many do with out them and are quite happy. Instead of television and video games they have many friends and activities.

Also, like I stated before, a thing peculiar to the DR is the fact that people share things openly, such as food and such. For this reason it isn't that common to find abject poverty amoung Dominicans. Among the Haitians that live here - that is a different story and more problematic.

With all this in mind if you want to help the kid, tell him #1 to quit calling you - you call him. #2 send him US20 a month and tell him to go back to school and that you will visit and check his homework.

Hillbilly · Jun 1, 2007

The curmudgeon in me says that the kid has his story down pat and you are just one more sucker on his list. Also that a lot of his profits are going up his nose.

Furthermore, I would not nest him a cent. If I felt compelled to extend some help, i would send it to the Don Bosco School and their " Canillitas" program. Or anything formal.

You have a good heart, but do not get taken by these pros. I'll see if i can find a better address for the Canillitas program.

HB

laurapasinifan · Jun 1, 2007

oceanbound said:
The bigger questions is this: HOW CAN ANY DECENT TOURIST WALK BY THEM AND SAY NO TO A SHINE ????? Whether you need a shine or not, do it to feed a family with children. It costs so little.

this is the same for all beggars.....when is someone allowed to say enough? or is it people like yourself think that we should give to EVERY person that comes by, no matter how much of a hassle it is. the number of people seeking freebies or "donations" doesnt end anywhere near a number under 100!!!.........

one of the problems with "giving" to an open hand while walking in Santiago...is the deluge that follows from all those that saw the transaction...

"we got a live one here" is what goes out on some sound system that only you cant hear!!!

usually Ill only give now to those that I see are OBVIOUSLY seriously crippled.....they need it bad for sure!

what i really dont like about the shoeshine boys is the fact they never have a fee...they say.."just give me what you want"...then they complain if it isnt what they expect.... I usually give about 50 pesos, but I know 30 pesos is a good deal for the kid....... they just are not appreciative.

bob

Hipocrito Mejia · Jun 1, 2007

The simple answer is no! I'm not against buying a meal for a hungry kid, but you should have stopped at that.

I suggest that you change your phone number.

El_Uruguayo · Jun 1, 2007

I only had a shine once while in Santo Domingo, basically because I had brought my own product to keep my shoes clean. The reason I did get a shine because the kid was really selling the product, and not the pity. He convinced me had the best shine, tried his best to speak english, although I kept speaking spanish to him. He initially wanted to charge me 3 dollars or something, I got him down to 20 pesos, haha, had mine and my brother's done, left him a $100,he deserved it, he did leave my shoes looking like new. He was not aggresive in the sense that I was a gringo, and I somehow owed it to him, he sold it - plus I felt more compelled because he made a an effort to speak english, and be kind - he was also learning french and german on his own. He told me he made between $1000 and $1500 a day doing it, not bad at all - I guess he was a pro.

Basically if they are honest, and you need a shine, why not? It's honest work for honest money - better than giving it to a straight out beggar - which brings me to my next story.

This one guy was asking me for money, saying some story how he had just been deported from NY or something. He spoke fluent english, then german, then french in front of me, and very well I might add - I did not give him anything. A few weeks later he came up to me with the same story, I told him "you speak 4 languages.." he interupted me saying "actually I speak 7", "ok" I said "you speak 7 languages, you have no excuse not to be working" and I left. It's cases like this that annoy me, not the children, they don't know any better, but able people trying to make a buck on the street instead of doing honest work.

oh and I couldn't help but notice:

"Best of luck - don't hesitate to ask more questions. By the way I'm Catholic and I rarely refuse to give people money if they ask - maybe not as much as they'd like but I still usually give(99.999% of the time)."

Chip00, can I have some money???

DAKRA · Jun 1, 2007

Call me foolish if you need to - But this happened...

This I have to tell you - The very first time I was in the DR, I was actually in SD. During my first few hours on the ground, I did what most tourist do.... Unpack, Shower, Change Clothes, Relax, Eat, Hit the Casino, Etc..

After a brief stint in the Jaragua Casino, I decided to hit the malecon area and see the sites. This day happened to be a Sunday and most of the DR1 folks know that the Malecon area in front of the Jaragua Hotel is closed due to the street fair, basketball, rollerblading etc. - When I left the casino, I took all of my winnings with me (about $12 USD) in the form of Quarters. After hanging out for a bit on the Malecon and then heading toward the Colonial Zone, I was immediately approached by many many shoeshine boys. I opted not for a shone shine but wanted to give these young children some money because they appeared and stated that they were hungry. I gave each of them 4 quarters. I was immediatley upset because the young kids did not want them. They had no idea what they were. After realizing that I was truly a fool for doing this, I gave each of them a dollar bill and went on my way... - Later I went back to the casino and played my $12 worth of quarters in the video poker machines. Well, I lost all of my money. - True story!

What is the lesson here? - NONE! -

Just remember if you can give a couple of dollars/pesos to someone who really needs it and you can afford to give it - then do. Just be smart and don't be taken advantage of. There are CONs working in DR and there are Cons working in the USA as well as in all other countries. Often they use kids to help them with their deals.... - - -

**

aranoid:

M.A.R. · Jun 1, 2007

There were shoeshine boys there too and they had families - so just because these kids are shining shoes doesn't mean they don't have families. Also, just because they don't have nice clothes or shoes doesn't mean a whole lot either - most of the kids in the campo in Moca don't either. As far as using their fingers to spread the polish I've never seen a kid do it here any other way and anybody can find a rag.

Its different in Santo Domingo than in the campo, inthe campo people don't kick their kids out into the road.

Also, what Dakra posted was very telling - that this kid is calling you lond distance to the US. Just to let you know this is VERY expensive for the normal Dominican. In fact in a 20 min converstion with you more than likely he will spend as much or more than he would shining shoes in a day.

He is definilty a very poor kid and I realize the dilemma this can cause anyone who sees those kids. I agree with those who say it sends the kid the wrong message to send him money, maybe when you go down there you can bring some clothes and shoes for him and books.

Also, like I stated before, a thing peculiar to the DR is the fact that people share things openly, such as food and such. For this reason it isn't that common to find abject poverty amoung Dominicans.

Let me tell you that Dominicans are very proud and don't like going to houses to ask or begging for food they rather starve.

#2 send him US20 a month and tell him to go back to school and that you will visit and check his homework.

Great idea Chip and this is the only way things will get better in the DR, Educatiion Education Education.

Sunscape Mike · Jun 1, 2007

Hey there...first time poster and longtime participant on other travel related forums!

I have lived and working inthe country now for a few years. Hear in Punta Cana the growth is all around...as is the poverty. My first encounter with the shiners came at the Texaco gas station, where this kid of about 10 came up to me very politely and requested that I allow him to give my shoes a go-over. With him, were approximately 5 othe kids, sporting thier wooden boxes and greasy supplies. Over the next month that i was in the Punta Cana area...
this kid would never miss me....driving along the road I would here him call my name...a big thumbs up!
I was transfered back to Puerto Plata for about 7 months and upon arrival back in Punta Cana...it took about 3 hours before he and his gang came out to offer me Dominican handshakes....fist to fist! One ran back to somewhere behind the buildings and upon return, brought the report cards of all 5 of them....proudly proving to me that they were going to school and advancing.

These kids have become my friends...dirt poor...and never asking for much more than respect and a coke on a hot Bavaro afternoon. I personally think that most shiners are the future great employees and business owners of the country. They know how to present themselves in a positive way, know that money does not come without effort and a job well done.

Cheers

Mike Bryant
Uvero Alto

M.A.R. · Jun 1, 2007

Sunscape Mike, many more blessings to you. That's a very nice story, thanks for being nice to the kids. They are innocent and we are all responsible in raising them, we all have a responsibility in putting a word of hope in their ear a thought of hope in their brain, they can get ahead.

DAKRA · Jun 1, 2007

Things that make you go "HMMMM......"

I too agree that Sunscape's story is very touching. It is important that all of us do what we can to provide hope to the world's youth.

By the way is it true that the World Famous Baseball Player SAMMY SOSA was once a Shoe Shine Boy in the Dominican Republic?

:surprised

bienamor · Jun 1, 2007

Disagree

DAKRA said:
I was immediately approached by many many shoeshine boys. I opted not for a shone shine but wanted to give these young children some money because they appeared and stated that they were hungry. I gave each of them 4 quarters. I was immediatley upset because the young kids did not want them. They had no idea what they were. After realizing that I was truly a fool for doing this, I gave each of them a dollar bill and went on my way... - Later I went back to the casino and played my $12 worth of quarters in the video poker machines. Well, I lost all of my money. - True story!

What is the lesson here? - NONE! -

:

There really is a point here. The change houses and most other places will not take the US coins, so the kids don't want them as they then have to hunt up a gringo that will buy them from them without cheating them. And sad as it is there are a lot of gringos will lowball them on the exchange rate!:ermm:

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