Help my friend has been Sankified!

kim757

New member
Apr 29, 2008
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My friend met a Sanky while on Vacation and fell in love she came back home broke up with her boyfriend and agreed to marry this guy she met and has only known for two weeks. I am very worried for her and fear there is nothing I can do for her. She was son who is going to be a witness to this massacre and she threw way a bf that loved her very much. Any suggestions or just let it play out? She is delirious I have never seen her this way before.
 

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
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Very little you can do. You might want to tell her to read the Sanky Pankies in the Dominican Republic and all that's here for info but it might not help her at this moment.

Stand by and be her friend and that's about it. Trying to change anyone's mind that thinks they are in love is like talking to yourself, unfortunately.

Good luck
 

Talldrink

El Mujeron
Jan 7, 2004
2,209
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If she wont get on the forum to read up on Sankies herself, then print out some of the info from here and give to her...

Once she starts reading how much her Sankie Boyfriend sounds like the rest of them out there, maybe she'll come to grips with the situation.

However, from an total stranger reading your post online, your friend doesnt sound too stable to me in the first place. You mentioned a boyfriend, a son and the fact that you have seen her like that before... what does that mean exactly, that you've seen her in lust? or head over heels for a stranger, or throwing away all dignity and reason out the window for nothing?

Actually if she was foolish enough to go overseas and fall in love in two days - then it doesnt sound like there's nothing much you can do for her. She is a spur of the moment type of gal from what I can read and probably cannot easily be swayed away once her mind has been made up.

If you are her friend and want to be there for her, you can help her up once she falls - thats if you have the patience to see this train wreck and then offer to put the pieces back together.

I dont have such patience, so God bless if you do... I wish you and your friend the best. Good luck.
 

Kyle

Silver
Jun 2, 2006
4,266
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i think only time (away from the sankie) can possibly heal her. what will be crazy is when she talks about returning to the DR within the next month or two or even more crazy if she talks about MOVING !!

it happens to most of us (that can admit it). i told my first sankiette i loved her on our first date (we were introduced).

ahhhhh, those were the days....:laugh:
 

holidaygirl

New member
May 7, 2008
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Not sure but I was thinking the friend i met is a good guy. But after reading this not sure . I love Rio San Juan and the resort and hope this guy is the real thing
any advice
 

Music

Bronze
Apr 19, 2002
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You can be there for her but sometimes people have to learn on there own the hard way......your trying to warn her and that's all you can do as a good friend. Just keep telling her but in the end it's up to her.

She will be needing you later when this all blows up!

She should really be thinking about her son but it's obvious she's not thinking at all. Good luck!
 

ExtremeR

Silver
Mar 22, 2006
3,078
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This is so sad that is funny, I mean broke up with her actual boyfriend to marry a sankie that she have met 2 weeks ago. Porque no usan mas el cerebro??
 

Lapurr

Bronze
Jan 25, 2008
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Adventure much?

is it not possible to be friends with the resort workers

HolidayGIRL, you must be young..No not possible to be friends with resort workers in my opinion.

A. it takes time to acquire friendships, and trust-you wouldn't go tell a resort worker your personal life and what you are all about within a week of knowing them. How does one become friends with resort workers in passing an "hola" here and there, maybe a 1/2 hour lunch in the mess hall? or even a quicky -hiding from security on a beach chair? NO WAY!!

No they are not your friends, they get paid to be nice to you...that's it!

I too thought I had friends, and I'm not so sure anymore, and I'm talking about woman not men...the men I know are %100 sankies, they even wanted to learn my language and asked for lessons how to say some detailed pick up lines-I thought it was funny and played along...it wasn't funny it was stupid, and wrong..I helped them and encouraged them...and made it easier for them to prey upon unsuspecting tourists!

This was on my first trip to DR, but I have learnt a lesson from DR1, I will not support sankies and empower them to have any control over myself or my vacations..

If anything they are on the bottom of my list! There is so much MORE to DR..than them, I cant wait to experience all of the wonderful places the expats call home, now the only trouble is where to go first, do I cram everything into 3 weeks, do I do a week at a time? not sure, but plans are in motion and the wheels are rolling!! I cant wait to meet some exciting people in DR,looking forward to a new adventure.
 
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Thegirlnextdoor

New member
Feb 22, 2007
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Holidaygirl was your resort by any chance the Bahia Principe? ;-)

I have many resort worker friends girls and guys, and they were my friends before I was living here.
I may see the guys play the sanky game with the girls on vacation, but it doesnt stop me being friends with them, I know I could turn to any number of them for help and I have done previously.
 

Lapurr

Bronze
Jan 25, 2008
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Holidaygirl was your resort by any chance the Bahia Principe? ;-)

I have many resort worker friends girls and guys, and they were my friends before I was living here.
I may see the guys play the sanky game with the girls on vacation, but it doesnt stop me being friends with them, I know I could turn to any number of them for help and I have done previously.

Girlnextdoor,Wow you live there now ?? when did you make the big move??That's great that you have many friends!! doubtful you made them overnight!

as long as you observe "them playing the sankie game " and not become a part of it,which is sooooo easy to do when they say all the right things, and make you feel like a Queen! Hopefully you do not get tangled in the web!
 

Chacha B

New member
Nov 7, 2005
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My friend met a Sanky while on Vacation and fell in love she came back home broke up with her boyfriend and agreed to marry this guy she met and has only known for two weeks. I am very worried for her and fear there is nothing I can do for her. She was son who is going to be a witness to this massacre and she threw way a bf that loved her very much. Any suggestions or just let it play out? She is delirious I have never seen her this way before


In response to the whirlwind romance...Jeeez sounds like your friend is having some temporary insanity!! If she won`t stop her plans, try getting her to SLOW DOWN maybe that will buy her some time to see whats really up!! Whatever occurs just be there for her....cuz the high she is on is a long fall, if she falls....
 
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planner

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Sep 23, 2002
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Holidaygirl was your resort by any chance the Bahia Principe? ;-)

I have many resort worker friends girls and guys, and they were my friends before I was living here.
I may see the guys play the sanky game with the girls on vacation, but it doesnt stop me being friends with them, I know I could turn to any number of them for help and I have done previously.

I seem to remember a long thread about 3 years ago addressing this very issue. In this country you are judged by the company you keep!

If you are friends with sankies, know what they are doing, condone it - well you will be judged as being just as bad as them OR just another gringa target!

How can you be "friends" with people who prey on others? Who will play with other peoples feelings for personal gain? Is this the kind of friend you would have back home - wherever that is?

I am not judging you - just trying to educate and open your eyes.
 

Lapurr

Bronze
Jan 25, 2008
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I seem to remember a long thread about 3 years ago addressing this very issue. In this country you are judged by the company you keep!

If you are friends with sankies, know what they are doing, condone it - well you will be judged as being just as bad as them OR just another gringa target!

How can you be "friends" with people who prey on others? Who will play with other peoples feelings for personal gain? Is this the kind of friend you would have back home - wherever that is?

I am not judging you - just trying to educate and open your eyes.

Planner you are an excellent contributor to this forum, a wealth of knowledge and I appreciate all your posts, I have definitely learnt something from your posts!

I agree with you here, when I make a friend it's for life, an acquaintance is a different story, even at work in the office there was a couple, both married, everyone knew they were having an affair, including the CEO, I couldn't stay, I could not condone that behavior.

Unfortunately in DR, you will witness sanky acts here and there, nothing you can do about it, I am no angel, but I do know the type of company I like to keep,and have outgrown the ways of the sanky....I'm looking for quality companionship.
 

planner

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Sep 23, 2002
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Thanks for the compliments!

I agree with you - an acquaintance is one thing - but even then you need to keep distance from them if their behaviour can hurt you.

When you first start visiting and some eventually move here, it is difficult to take it all in. It takes time to learn how things really work. I've got almost 5 years here and I learn something new every single day! Like all others I have made my share of mistakes here too. I have trusted the wrong people, been taken etc. The key is to learn from your mistakes and mistakes of others.

I also want to state that I have been taken by foreigners as well as locals!!!! My comments are not just about locals. If we are judged by our company here, you can rest assured that society judges the behaviour of our foreign friends even more!!!!