Women that have been sankified and "want to help the Dominican poor"

I think that..............

as stated by many in many many many posts, most comes down to the sunshine, Brugel, lack of "something" in home country, the "romance of adventure", the feeling of looking at little kid faces that are ooo so in need...............

Then reality sets in.

Case #1 =http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/73602-boy-i-wrong-runaway-niece.html

Result =http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/75084-update-runaway-niece.html

This is something that will never stop. We will see these posts daily. And theirs is always different.

Not to wish to minimise genuine noble intentions that do exist, this is often part of the self-deception of morally justifying a process that was sparked off by plain old lust.

Interesting ......

I agree that there is an element of this in some of the scenarios that appear on here.

I do wonder if it is a sign of an open and trusting personality; basically a "nice" person who goes to the DR and meets someone that he/she thinks may be "the one" and then looks about and sees other things that he/she feels she may be able to help/change/support? It is IMO about taking things at face value - believing what you hear and see without questioning its validity.

Leekiv is absolutely right in that the setting and circumstances set the right scene for a "holiday romance" - and this happens all over the world. However in the DR this often seems to be taken a few steps further than that, with hopes and dreams of "everlasting love"' without the tourist knowing anything of the history, culture and language of the person and country that he/she has fallen in love with.

People who want "to save the world" and "help the poor" are all over the world and I personally do not see it as a bad thing , unlike some vociferous posters on here. We are all here to live our own lives and do what we want with our money and wordly goods as we see fit. Providing this does not hurt anyone then it is their business and their business alone. Where I think this can go wrong is if the person involved is basing their actions on a foundation of untruths and deception.

My advice to anyone who arrives in the DR and thinks they have found something previously lacking in their lives - whether it be a man,woman or lifestyle is this:-

Take your time, learn some Spanish, make some more trips and get to know the place and people. Ask lots of questions. There is no hurry.......

My two and a half pesos..

Rio

Agreed...

Chirimoya said:

Not to wish to minimise genuine noble intentions that do exist, this is often part of the self-deception of morally justifying a process that was sparked off by plain old lust.

Click to expand...

That too Chiri....

I guess I will take the bait...

My intention to do some volunteering is not based on a lustful or sexual situation, but rather a general feeling of dissatisfaction in my current job that I have felt for a long time. I have spent the greater part of this year debating whether I want to continue in my career path or choose another one. Prior to visiting the DR, I had investigated other career possibilities in my country, such as RCMP, but in the end, decided that they were not exactly what I was looking for. I have also applied to begin a Master's degree, and am STILL waiting to hear if I have been accepted...which is very frustrating for me. So my plan to do something different was not born out of me visiting and becoming enamoured with the DR, although I do think that it is an amazing place in many ways...but I also know that it has its many difficulties and problems.

I had never really had a "calling" to do a specific job...I felt that I liked working with people, and specifically, adolescents, and so I thought that teaching was the right choice for me...and in many ways I feel that it is - but as the years go on and as I teach in different schools, I am finding it increasingly hard to reconcile being a part of a machine that promotes and enables such ignorant, (comparatively) spoiled and ungrateful young adults with an unfaltering false sense of entitlement. Particularly after having visited rural government-run Dominican schools, as well as a Haitian sugar cane village, my disillusionment with the North American youth that I am teaching - and the school system - has grown exponentially. To go from meeting children who have nothing and who are grateful for anything you can do for them, who want to learn, and who are excited about being given a pencil back to the verbally abusive, ungrateful and lazy attitudes of the students here has been very difficult for me to deal with...and I have continued to think about being able to do work that would actually benefit others, that would be more lasting and more rewarding than filling out referral after referral of misbehaviours, only for nothing to be done, and more and more students given the ability to hide behind their "labels" and excuses as to why they should get credit for doing nothing.

As a teacher of language, I am also intruiged and drawn to being able to learn a new language myself...I have already started to learn some Spanish, and am looking forward to being in an immersion setting, where I will really be able to get the full benefit. The cultural aspect is also very interesting to me, as I do like to travel and have been to different places around the world where the cultures are very different than my own.

My current plan is not to "give up" my life here, but to take a temporary leave of absence and do something meaningful, different, and beneficial to those who really need it. My job, family, and life will be here for me when I get back - I am not running away to the DR to "save the world" or chase a "sankie." I am at a cross-roads in my life and am in need of taking some time for myself and do some soul-searching and goodwill to others. I hope that this has been helpful to provide you with this "lady's" thoughts and insight.

My current plan is not to "give up" my life here, but to take a temporary leave of absence and do something meaningful, different, and beneficial to those who really need it. My job, family, and life will be here for me when I get back - I am not running away to the DR to "save the world" or chase a "sankie." I am at a cross-roads in my life and am in need of taking some time for myself and do some soul-searching and goodwill to others. I hope that this has been helpful to provide you with this "lady's" thoughts and insight.[/QUOTE]

Do what a good friend of mine did and join The Peace Corp.

Do what a good friend of mine did and join The Peace Corp.[/QUOTE]



I am not American...

"Do what a good friend of mine did and join The Peace Corp.[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

Why The Dominican Republic? The Peace Corp well let you help all types of people from all over the world, not just DR.

You are chasing a dream!!!!!

Sanky, sanky and hanky panky.(lol)

Good luck in all your future goals

CUSO is a Canadian volunteer organization.

CUSO - International Cooperation - Canadians - Poverty - Human Rights Issue - HIV/AIDS - Environment

Slightly more off topic....

johne said:

For my information only and help with some of my thinking on subjects such as this: What is the quivalent term in Canada to a "Liberal" in the U.S? I'm am not making a reference here to the OP right now but want to give this some further thought and would like to know the term that is used.

Click to expand...

In Canada we have 3 main parties

#1 Fiberals,( Liberals).

#2 Pathetic Conservatives ( Progressive Conservatives)

#3 Nincompoop Dumbazz Party ( New Democrat Party or N.D.P.)


:cheeky: Can you tell I am not fond of politicians ?

Before this turns into political discussion I'll try and answer your original question John.

This in no way applies to all but here is my theory;

Women that have kind hearts and wish to help others may also fall prey to a man that sounds like he needs her and she may also want to save that man (who comes off as a soul mate) from his life of poverty and show him a better life. When one has a good heart one has to guard against those that would take advantage of it.

A true scammer/sankie is well experienced to recognize this and may take advantage of it. They know exactly what to ask in order to determine this at the beginning and depending on ones answer they either move on or pursue.

This is not meant as an insult to anyone.

OK, a couple of shots of coffee and I'm in a more ::ahem:: charitable mood.

For some people it may be the first time they visit a country like the DR, and it comes as a real eye-opener to witness extreme poverty first-hand. Sankies usually take their victims to meet their family in their barrio or campo, which brings the two worlds face to face in a way that wouldn't normally happen on a standard tropical vacation, where tourists are steered away as much as possible from the harsh realities of life in a poor country.

Come and meet my family....

This has set me thinking -

I remember back to my first couple of package holidays to the DR and how I couldn't get over how many offers we had given from all sorts of staff in the hotels to "come and meet my family" or "come and see a baseball match on my day off and meet my friends" etc - we had offers from male and female staff.
At the time I was with my English OH so it wasn't a sankey thing per se.

This has not happened to me in any other country and at first was very flattering and easy to be swept up in it all. We did go on a couple of occasions but it is right - you are shown things that you do not come across in an average westernised way of life.

Short of giving away a few bits and pieces and the normal tipping we didn't part with too much, but I can now see that it must be a real eye opener for a lot of people who then feel that they want to do more.

Rio

maybe it really is a case of the two just being coinidental. Anyone coming down for the first few times get a sensory overload. The lust on the beach with the sankie might have been the largest overload and gets spoken of the most. But others got triggered and there are reactions to them. After the lust issue was hacked aroun don the net looking for confidence boosters , that surely never came via this board.....other subjects started to rise to the surface....one happens to be the huge amount of paverty one sees in this country. Be it children or crippples, or haitan refugees. One wonders how a life becomes accustomed to living in dirt, with low quality and quantity of food, and little or less health care. In cardboard-debris contructed housing in well know flood basins.

and the rcih or better off , have resigned to living near them and ignoring them( for the most part).

maybe it is the enviromental destruction they want to help against...maybe it is saving the birds and the fish from over exploitation...who knows....but these bleeding heart types want to save so many things.... and after they are left bleeding and numb from the written abuse they will surly get here about their sankie-ette, they move onto saving something...anything

hey that is just my opinion.....it is probably off the mark!!!!:ermm:

bad bad bob

i think that it is a combination of things and definitely there is a correlation (sp?)

some women will use it as an excuse to justify "moving for a man". these people are blind and living a lie and will wake up someday and be wiser but hopefully have helped someone along the way (whether for the right reasons or not)

for others...being given the opportunity to see some of the "real life DR" is enough of a reason to want to do more & help.

i think it just so happens that often women/people are given this opportunity through sankies & people they meet while staying in the resorts.

i think the type of person that would be willing to consider having a relationship with a person that lives in a developing country (often poor, lack of education etc) is probably the same type of person that would like to help others in need through any type of volunteer work.

people often turn a blind eye to something they haven't experienced first hand....you can watch on cnn about devastation in the world but it is different if that place holds a piece of your heart or the memory of a great vacation.

things like that will make you want to do more and if you are in a position to do it...then why not do it?

So many of us in the Western world make comments about how "sad" or "terrible" a situation is in a developing country...but so few actually make the effort to leave the comfort zone of their homes and televisions broadcasting CNN and actually get involved in doing something about it. I figure I could watch the World Vision commercials and donate to charity...or I could actually go and DO something charitable. I am choosing the latter, but it is completely a matter of personal choice. Whether or not others think my intentions are "clouded" or "impure" is really not for them to decide...I am feeling motivated to contribute in a tangible way, and the DR being my first exposure to the third world (on my own - I was not taken off site by a sankie or any other worker), that seems like a good place for me to start...and it's also a bit safer as a first experience than going to, say, Sudan.