No Groans... but I have to ask..."Sankie or not"

IslandPrincess

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Jun 16, 2008
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OK OK OK... I have read every post out there and I am parinoid now. I swore I'd never date a Dominican...But I have found a hot one, and now I am asking the "Sankie or not" question:

I live in the Sosua area (Been here off and on for two years, but lived here full-time for 6 months), he's from Santiago, has a decent working class job, and a bank account (not sure about the balance). But absolutely BEAUTIFUL man. Let me start off by saying I am by no means in "love" with this guy. We enjoy each other's company ;)

I did not come here looking for love. I have zero interest in a "real" relationship right now. I am actually a very attractive mid-twentys american girl. I get so much attention here it makes me ill. I am young, successful and have plenty of guys to choose from (All nationalities including my own with Bucus of money), and believe it or not this one would be my first vote for Mr. right now. But after reading the Billion sankie posts I am starting to wonder if he is indeed a Sankie.

We met at his Job (can't say where to protect his privacy) but nothing in resort or tourism...We had been flirting for a month or two and he asked me for my number, I gave him a business card, and the game was on. He bought me gifts, roses, teddy bears, made me CD's, bought me lunches dinners etc. NEVER asked for Money. He has cooked for me (and paid for the groceries and restocked my fridge). We both speak fluent English and Spanish. We've been having fun & hanging out together quite a bit.

BUT....here are my red flags

-Told me he loved me too soon. (I wouldn't say it back)
-He calls me Princess...But then again so does my dad...and hes not Sankie
-He's got a little girl, who's "baby's mama" lives here in Sosua
-He has no car
-I have no idea what his job pays, or how he affords the gifts he buys me
-THEN the one that really scares me is he wants me to go with him to Santiago to meet his family Mother, Bother & Sister etc. I saw this in "sankie" posts a bunch of times.

I have to admit I love the gifts, pampering, attention, affection....and Damn he's hot, but if he is a Sankie I want to cut him lose sooner rather than later. I am used to dealing with the Dominican Laborers here for my job, so I can be cold as ice. Even if his mother, sister, cousin, friend died, got sick or lost their job I'd never dish a peso.

I also told him on our second date that if he wanted to be with me I never pay for anything (period). He stuck around....I am used to being the Gold digger in the relationship here LOL.

My inner voice is saying this: I know this has almost Zero potential to work out, but who cares, he's hot, we're having fun, I'm not in LOVE, and I sure as hell am not giving him a money. This might be justification, but every rich white guy I know has about 10 Dominican Chica's, why can't I keep one hot guy until he asks me for money, and drop him like a bad habit? Especially when he's treating me like a queen & I pay for nothing...

Even still...if this guy is a sankie I do want to let him go, so give me your thoughts....I have mixed emotions on this one.
 

rio2003

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Aug 16, 2006
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My inner voice is saying this: I know this has almost Zero potential to work out, but who cares, he's hot, we're having fun, I'm not in LOVE, and I sure as hell am not giving him a money. ........... why can't I keep one hot guy until he asks me for money, and drop him like a bad habit? Especially when he's treating me like a queen & I pay for nothing...

Welcome to DR1 IslandPrincess.

Forgive me, but I don't understand why you feel the need to ask this question? You have answered it for yourself. It is up to you whether you want a relationship (on any level) with a Dominican man.

He is obviously not a sankie "per se" but who knows if he still has the mother of his baby in his life or not. That is certainly the angle I would be worried about, but who knows?

If you like the guy - have fun, like you say, keep it simple and superficial (if you can) stick to the rules - no money and enjoy!
If it is too much hassle or too many worries and doubts, cast him loose.......
but ..... in my considerable experience (!) there aren't too many of them that will be 100% perfect and stress free.

There are plenty of them about....... enjoy!

;)

Rio
 

Rocky

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....I am used to being the Gold digger in the relationship here LOL.
If everything you say is true, and you are a gold digger, then you deserve to be sankified, don't you think?
It's nothing personal, you know, but I'm just going by what you said.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander and if you're a gold digger, what's wrong with him being one too?
 

Kyle

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Jun 2, 2006
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in the red corner from sosua THE GOLDDIGGER !!
and in the blue corner from santiago, HE"S NOT A SANKIE AND HE'S HOT !!!

any bets ?? :ermm:
 

Rocky

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OK OK OK... I have read every post out there and I am parinoid now. I swore I'd never date a Dominican...But I have found a hot one, and now I am asking the "Sankie or not" question:.
Hey IslandP,
I don't know if you're for real, nor if the story you tell is true.
As we don't know you and it's your first post, you can understand why we would have doubts.
If you live in Sosua and you know where we are, and you truly have a problem, you're welcome to drop in and see me.
Mornings and evenings are best.
Just ask for me.
 

Charlielyn

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Jul 31, 2005
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Relax, have fun, enjoy the Dominican scene, but stick to your rules. There are good Dominican men out there - you might have found one. But why would you get involved with someone if you don't love him? That is my question.
 

Rocky

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But why would you get involved with someone if you don't love him? That is my question.
Unless you believe in love at first sight, then there is no other option but to get involved with a person before "falling in love". (if there is such a thing)
One meets a person who shows the potential of being "lovable", one pursues it further until it either falls apart or develops into a good thing, but there is no getting away from involvement, if one wants to find out.
 

rio2003

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Aug 16, 2006
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Samaritans - sosua branch

Hey IslandP,
............. you're welcome to drop in and see me.
Mornings and evenings are best.
Just ask for me.

Knock three times and ask for " wise one" ........

Agony uncle at your service!

Relationship counselling a speciality of the house ....... with a side order of ribs, of course....


;)

Rio
 

Rocky

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Knock three times and ask for " wise one" ........

Agony uncle at your service!

Relationship counselling a speciality of the house ....... with a side order of ribs, of course....


;)

Rio
We have recently purchased an electro-shock therapy seat and we give positive manipulation treatments through negative reinforcement.
 

Charlielyn

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Jul 31, 2005
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Unless you believe in love at first sight, then there is no other option but to get involved with a person before "falling in love". (if there is such a thing)
One meets a person who shows the potential of being "lovable", one pursues it further until it either falls apart or develops into a good thing, but there is no getting away from involvement, if one wants to find out.

Rocky:

The OP has been dating this guy. He buys her presents and takes her out. He cooks for her in her house. By now she would know if he is a person she can love. If she doesn't love him, why lead him on. If she just wants sex, then he should be told that that is all it is to her. I think that the OP wants to love this guy but is afaid that others will see him as a Sanky. I say go for it, enjoy.
 

Rocky

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Rocky:

The OP has been dating this guy. He buys her presents and takes her out. He cooks for her in her house. By now she would know if he is a person she can love. If she doesn't love him, why lead him on. If she just wants sex, then he should be told that that is all it is to her. I think that the OP wants to love this guy but is afaid that others will see him as a Sanky. I say go for it, enjoy.
Gotcha.
It should have been worded, Why are you still involved, instead of
why would you get involved
And if you don't mind me asking, what's wrong with sex for the sake of sex?
Guys do it all the time.
Aren't women allowed too?
Sometimes, there's no love around but you get an itch that needs to be scratched.
Know what I mean?
 

rio2003

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Aug 16, 2006
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Equality......

And if you don't mind me asking, what's wrong with sex for the sake of sex?
Guys do it all the time.
Aren't women allowed too?
Sometimes, there's no love around but you get an itch that needs to be scratched.
Know what I mean?

We certainly are allowed, despite what other people may say and think....

;)
 

Alyonka

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Jun 3, 2006
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If everything you say is true, and you are a gold digger, then you deserve to be sankified, don't you think?
It's nothing personal, you know, but I'm just going by what you said.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander and if you're a gold digger, what's wrong with him being one too?

I agree, that is the way sankies think, it seems - that woman is too arrogant, confident, behaves like a golddigger. Let me play with her ;)

Dominican men seem to really like playing games.

OP - I would just be very careful, that is all.
 

Mr. Lu

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Mar 26, 2007
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?

I am used to being the Gold digger in the relationship here LOL.

Why would you say this about yourself? Even if its true, you've only painted a negative picture of yourself as a shallow, unscrupulous and kinieving person. Your a golddigger and worried about a sanky? Please, this is a joke right? You've expressed pride in your ways, which in my opinion, displays a lack of self esteem:


</EMBED>


I'm rooting for the Sanky in this one....





Mr. Lu
 
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AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
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I think she is calling herself a gold-digger to take any heat from him.

She has no idea what he makes or the amount in his bank account. He bought her some lunches and some roses, what is wrong with that?

This is what people around here are always preaching about. A non sankie Dominican pays when he is taking a girl out, now someone is saying this exact thing and she's the bad guy?

Go have fun girl. At the beginning of any relationship/friendship no one knows where it will go till you know someone better.
 

IslandPrincess

New member
Jun 16, 2008
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You are right

Rocky:

The OP has been dating this guy. He buys her presents and takes her out. He cooks for her in her house. By now she would know if he is a person she can love. If she doesn't love him, why lead him on. If she just wants sex, then he should be told that that is all it is to her. I think that the OP wants to love this guy but is afaid that others will see him as a Sanky. I say go for it, enjoy.

I do want to love this guy, but I am skeptical. I do care what others think, and I am worried people will think hes a sankie, and especially I worry that I will fall for this guy and he will turn out to be one. I'm not really a gold digger, just a typical American woman, who is used to being well taken care of. I said that for laughs guys...

I am just trying to keep it at a safe distance until I figure out his angle ;)
 

Lapurr

Bronze
Jan 25, 2008
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70
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OK OK OK... I have read every post out there and I am parinoid now. I swore I'd never date a Dominican...But I have found a hot one, and now I am asking the "Sankie or not" question:

I live in the Sosua area (Been here off and on for two years, but lived here full-time for 6 months), he's from Santiago, has a decent working class job, and a bank account (not sure about the balance). But absolutely BEAUTIFUL man. Let me start off by saying I am by no means in "love" with this guy. We enjoy each other's company ;)

I did not come here looking for love. I have zero interest in a "real" relationship right now. I am actually a very attractive mid-twentys american girl. I get so much attention here it makes me ill. I am young, successful and have plenty of guys to choose from (All nationalities including my own with Bucus of money), and believe it or not this one would be my first vote for Mr. right now. But after reading the Billion sankie posts I am starting to wonder if he is indeed a Sankie.

We met at his Job (can't say where to protect his privacy) but nothing in resort or tourism...We had been flirting for a month or two and he asked me for my number, I gave him a business card, and the game was on. He bought me gifts, roses, teddy bears, made me CD's, bought me lunches dinners etc. NEVER asked for Money. He has cooked for me (and paid for the groceries and restocked my fridge). We both speak fluent English and Spanish. We've been having fun & hanging out together quite a bit.

BUT....here are my red flags

-Told me he loved me too soon. (I wouldn't say it back)
-He calls me Princess...But then again so does my dad...and hes not Sankie
-He's got a little girl, who's "baby's mama" lives here in Sosua
-He has no car
-I have no idea what his job pays, or how he affords the gifts he buys me
-THEN the one that really scares me is he wants me to go with him to Santiago to meet his family Mother, Bother & Sister etc. I saw this in "sankie" posts a bunch of times.

I have to admit I love the gifts, pampering, attention, affection....and Damn he's hot, but if he is a Sankie I want to cut him lose sooner rather than later. I am used to dealing with the Dominican Laborers here for my job, so I can be cold as ice. Even if his mother, sister, cousin, friend died, got sick or lost their job I'd never dish a peso.

I also told him on our second date that if he wanted to be with me I never pay for anything (period). He stuck around....I am used to being the Gold digger in the relationship here LOL.

My inner voice is saying this: I know this has almost Zero potential to work out, but who cares, he's hot, we're having fun, I'm not in LOVE, and I sure as hell am not giving him a money. This might be justification, but every rich white guy I know has about 10 Dominican Chica's, why can't I keep one hot guy until he asks me for money, and drop him like a bad habit? Especially when he's treating me like a queen & I pay for nothing...

Even still...if this guy is a sankie I do want to let him go, so give me your thoughts....I have mixed emotions on this one.

The only question I have and am a little confused about is that you have "zero" interest in a "real" relationship? what does this mean? are you in a fake one now?
Its obvious this person is trying to win your heart, and if it's not up for grabs!! you best fess up and let him know that!
in my young adulthood my favorite line was"you're here for a good time, not a long time" blunt but true!!

if that's the case for you, better let him know, if the sex is worth your while make the most it!! enjoy his hotness!! if not....I'd live a little!! EXPLORE!:bunny: