Legit Friendship? Or..Sanky in Action?

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Lapurr

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Jan 25, 2008
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We have been to the same resort 3 times, I know now, what a waste...but Our first experience was sooooo much fun!! Before we even left we told people we had met we'd be back in March, and sure enough we came back...If you dont have your word, then what do you have??

The lobby bartender was great, just a fun person, never tried anythig on us..the girls only hung out at that bar, he even got a blender and blended them their drinks...he brought them phone cards so they could call friends at home(they of course paid him) But he kinda watched out for them, and if they thought some guy was cute,they would ask him about him, his answer to every guy they mention was NO-Very Bad, so in a way he warned them about the boys of DR.

Second and third trips same thing, however this time, we brought him a couple shirts and some cologne, just small gifts..again treated us like family never asking for anything ever.Just had a great time all over again.

The third trip, He told us he was married, and his wife lived in Calgary...we were shocked considering we had only seen him 6 months earlier and he never mentioned it....never the less we were happy for him. He said he would be in Calgary in April, I gave him my phone number and said when he arrives, him and his wife are more than welcome to come to our home for Dinner.

It's August now, i got a phone call from him on the weekend...He sounded sad and he was humming and hawing about how miserable his life is, and that he has no work and two kids to feed....and asked if he could borrow some money, and that he would pay me back once he arrived and started working in Canada!!

I was shocked to say the least, I asked him, you have a wife in Canada, can she not help you out? He said she was pregnant and not working.
I told him i was not in any position to loan money at the time that my daughter starts college in 2 weeks and that alone costs a fortune.

He understood, but Holy Crap!! leaves me with one question. Friend or Foe?
 
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Alyonka

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Jun 3, 2006
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I have been asked for money in the DR, it seems to be normal for some people who live there to do it. I never gave anything to them, but they still talked to me. So, just say
"No." He probably does not mean anything, and asked many others as well.
 
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Lapurr

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Jan 25, 2008
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Jalen you are right "Foe" is way tooo harsh-Fool is much better!!

And Alyonka..you too are right-he doesn't mean anything to me, just a person I met, I had no intentions of becoming anyone's best friend..or "bank account" And I probably will never see him again, it's just unfortunate- he was one of my "fond" memories of DR.
 
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RGVgal

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May 26, 2008
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I wonder if his Canadian wife know he has two kids to feed and if he is feeding kids you better believe he is also feeding a Dominican wife.

Also, shouldn't he be asking for money for his unemployed wife and unborn baby..
You never know..she could be a DR1 member..

You did the right thing saying No. I wonder how many other women he is calling.
 
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SKY

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Apr 11, 2004
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There is as much chance of this guy having a real wife in Canada as a snow storm coming to Playa Dorada. I have to give him credit for originality though.
 
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Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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SKY said:
There is as much chance of this guy having a real wife in Canada as a snow storm coming to Playa Dorada. I have to give him credit for originality though.
Click to expand...
I admit that I know very few sankies, and thus am no expert, but what makes you so sure he doesn't have a CDN wife?
What would be the advantage for him to say that he did?
 
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SKY

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Apr 11, 2004
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Rocky said:
I admit that I know very few sankies, and thus am no expert, but what makes you so sure he doesn't have a CDN wife?
What would be the advantage for him to say that he did?
Click to expand...

These guys call any girl that sends them money their wife. So to him he may have had a "wife" in Canada.

Do you really think this clown had a Visa to Canada, and he was going to pay her when he got there?
 
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Lapurr

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Jan 25, 2008
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No- I'm pretty sure he does have a wife In Calgary, and that she is 5 months pregnant like he said,Even when we were there,he had a picture of her on his phone and said she lived in the south near downtown, I'm just thinking he has drained her bank account and the poor lady is struggling now. But whatever...My account will soon be drained -in exactly 12 Days....For my daughters education, Not a Sanky.
 
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Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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SKY said:
These guys call any girl that sends them money their wife. So to him he may have had a "wife" in Canada.

Do you really think this clown had a Visa to Canada, and he was going to pay her when he got there?
Click to expand...
I know the visa part is difficult, but we hear about CDN women marrying these sankies all the time, down here.
Whether they ever get them to Canada is another matter, IMHO.
But like I said, I'm no expert and was just wondering what made you see it that way.
I don't know, one way or another, nor do I really care.
It was just a curiosity thing.
 
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Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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Asking a tourist for money shows you that he has no shame and more importantly no pride.

Those types have no friendship to offer. And it may have come as an uncomfortable shock that he would do this after seeming to be so concerned and friendly during your vacation, but that is part of their MO.

This is why the more you think their intentions are genuine, the more they reveal themselves as being all the same.(Hint Hint darling*)
 
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apostropheman

Guest
I get asked for $$$ most trips, from people I barely know, and generally say no. I don't blame them for asking but I am not an ATM! :D

The people I know well never have to ask...If I see an opportunity to help I do so without the need to be asked.

(I have been asked for the occasional bit of help for things that I would have had no way to know about but it's usually not for $$$ directly...and I'm happy to assist if I can)
Lapurr said:
It's August now, i got a phone call from him on the weekend...He sounded sad and he was humming and hawing about how miserable his life is, and that he has no work and two kids to feed....and asked if he could borrow some money, and that he would pay me back once he arrived and started working in Canada!!

I was shocked to say the least, I asked him, you have a wife in Canada, can she not help you out? He said she was pregnant and not working.
I told him i was not in any position to loan money at the time that my daughter starts college in 2 weeks and that alone costs a fortune.

He understood, but Holy Crap!! leaves me with one question. Friend or Foe?
Click to expand...
 
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Ezequiel

Bronze
Jun 4, 2008
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Berzin said:
Asking a tourist for money shows you that he has no shame and more importantly no pride.

Those types have no friendship to offer. And it may have come as an uncomfortable shock that he would do this after seeming to be so concerned and friendly during your vacation, but that is part of their MO.

This is why the more you think their intentions are genuine, the more they reveal themselves as being all the same.(Hint Hint darling*)
Click to expand...


I agree with you, no respectable working Dominican men will ask a tourist for money. He's just a professional Sanky.

I'll prefer to starve before i ask a family member or a friend for money let alone a person that i hardly know.
 
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Arrica

New member
Jun 3, 2006
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I saw a sign in a small colmado somewhere outside San Cristobal - face-a-face the Trujillo museum up on the hill:

"Prestamos matan amistades"

or something to that extend.
 
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rio2003

Bronze
Aug 16, 2006
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SKY said:
These guys call any girl that sends them money their wife. So to him he may have had a "wife" in Canada.
Click to expand...

This is very, very true.

Lapurr,
I will send you a pm later....... but for the record a little tale (again)

I split up with a Dominican guy last year (you and I know who he is) - he has a new Dominicana who has had a baby by him since (!)

and yet..... I am still referred to as "his wife", my photo is in his wallet and also on his phone..... When I am over there he hangs around like a fly round s**t ............

.........but I am under no illusion that this is anything but what it is, and that is the constant search for money, gifts, and the status in having a gringa with you.
If I should decide to look him up one night, the Dominicana will be told to stay quiet in her house until he is ready to see her again.
I have said it before and I will keep saying it - understand the mentality and the driving force behind it and then decide how to work the situation.
As for your bartender - hotels are very quiet at the moment and times are very hard. I have no doubt that he will have contacted others and he is using your "friendship" to tug your heartstrings and send money. These guys collect phone numbers like confetti and have enough to fill a directory!

Don't do it - he will manage without and you will open the door for further requests. He may be a friend, certainly not a foe - definitely a forrager!

My 2 pesos worth...... ;)

Rio
 
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Eddy

Silver
Jan 1, 2002
3,668
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Rocky said:
We lend "friend killers"?
Any idea what it meant?
Did you ask?
Click to expand...
Loaning a friend money = Loosing a friend (If he doesn't pay you back)
Which is the way Dominicans are. They don't pay back debts.
 
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rio2003

Bronze
Aug 16, 2006
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Eddy said:
Which is the way Dominicans are. They don't pay back debts.
Click to expand...

True - Being lent something = being given it. You should always bear this in mind when considering whether to "lend" anything. Do not expect it back.

So often, people learn this lesson the hard way. :ermm:

Rio
 
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Ezequiel

Bronze
Jun 4, 2008
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Loaning a friend money = Loosing a friend (If he doesn't pay you back)
Click to expand...

Don't agree with that, a good friendship should not end just because of money dispute.

My three best friends owns me money (1 Dominican, 2 Peruvians) they were supposed to pay me within a week, and years had past and i haven't seen a penny yet, they don't mention the money neither do i, but i'm happy, because, they know and i know they can't ask me for money again and some of them had had financial problems, but if they ask for help, i will tell them you haven't paid me what you owe me, if i lend you more money it will be harder for you to pay.

We still great friends and go out every weeks.
 
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