Advice required on DR guy I met on holiday

ShygirlUK said:

Hi
I met a DR guy 3 months ago whilst I was on holiday, nothing has happened between us but we have been in contact almost everyday since I have been back in the UK. I have been debating about going back to see him just to see if there is anything truely there between us, but after reading all the posts on this website, I have started to feel like an idiot being sucked into the romance.......

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If you're aware enough to feel that way you are NOT an idiot

ShygirlUK said:

Hi
........The guy was a hotel worker and I am an educated woman with a good career in the UK, should I go back over to see what happens or should I wake up that I am just being played by this guy.
Any advice greatly received.

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IF you go back, go to another hotel, have fun and then walk away.

You've probably read enough to realize that playing people is what these Sankies and Sankiettes do. It's a lucrative career.

They are world class liars.

my tuppence and a ha'penny

ShygirlUK said:

Hi
I met a DR guy 3 months ago whilst I was on holiday, nothing has happened between us but we have been in contact almost everyday since I have been back in the UK. I have been debating about going back to see him just to see if there is anything truely there between us, but after reading all the posts on this website, I have started to feel like an idiot being sucked into the romance.
The guy was a hotel worker and I am an educated woman with a good career in the UK, should I go back over to see what happens or should I wake up that I am just being played by this guy.

Any advice greatly received.

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Follow your heart and you will never be wrong. Also keep ypur eyes wide open.

barker1964 said:

Follow your heart and you will never be wrong. Also keep ypur eyes wide open.

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That?s when most people screw up when they follow their hearts, use common sense

I would say follow your heart but be VERY careful! I have a boyfriend from D.R and i truely believe he is genuine but i have heard soooo many times where it goes wrong for these reasons: Most guys are after getting visa, most guys have many girls from different countrys but the girl doesnt know this and thinks shes his only girlfriend! In the end the guy will pick the girl who gives him best chance of getting visa. I know this because my boyfriend told me nearly almost all the guys he knows there say this to him! I would say the ways to tell if hes genuine is: he will never ask for money or gifts from you, he wont mention going to your country, you can get hold of him easy when you call he always answers or if not calls you back soon! Also if he wants you to go to his home town this should proove he doesnt already have wife or girlfriend from there. Maybe go back have fun. see what happens and take it from there..... only you will know?? there are some positive stories on here too!!

Don't follow your heart it will get you in trouble every time. Follow common sense and gut feeling. Women have a great gift which is our intuition and when you are posting and asking it means you are already feeling something wrong besides what you read here. It's a shame that most will never follow their intuitions.

tailor said:

Also if he wants you to go to his home town this should proove he doesnt already have wife or girlfriend from there.

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Riiiiiight.....because that girl hanging around with all the kids.....is his sister

They are all in it together!

Sure

ShygirlUK said:

_ I have started to feel like an idiot being sucked into the romance.
_ should I go back over to _

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...know for sure that you're an idiot?

Well, why not?

BAil!! Geronimoooo!!!

I think I have shares in a company that is purchasing the Staure of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower and they have a bid in for the Tower of London....it is called "Sucker's Monumental Investment Fund" and I just know it will make money.....

If you have an iota of sense, get out as fast as possible....

HB

Advice required

If you are asking for advice on a public forum, then you already know the answer! That bright intelligent woman doesn't need any of us to explain how things work. Use the gifts you have been given and be grateful that you had an exciting holiday and move on. Perhaps try another destination next vacation and see what other parts of the world have to offer.
If in spite of yourself, see Hillbilly for some investment information!!!! lol!!!

common sense and good intuitions is the exactly what you need for this type of relation!
good luck if you decide to carry on!

if you want to be friends, then be strickly friends, no money, no help, don't fall for his pleas of love. many families ARE in on the ploy, no doubt about it. Hire an investigator to check him out if you ever want to date him. Common sense and your intuition will never steer you wrong, but the "heart" may.
Good luck

i agree with the money and help ,so many of them know how to take advantage and make you feel guilty!i knew this girl attractive,lawyer in france ,she sent money after 2 week because he broke his phone and they could not talk daily!

tailor said:

I would say the ways to tell if hes genuine is: he will never ask for money or gifts from you, he wont mention going to your country, you can get hold of him easy when you call he always answers or if not calls you back soon! Also if he wants you to go to his home town this should proove he doesnt already have wife or girlfriend from there.

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IMO what you mentioned above are not the best ways to tell if he is genuine.
The smart ones never ask for money directly.
They make you think it is your idea for offering.
The smart ones will not talk about going to your country.
Again they want you to fall crazy in love with them and bingo you will automatically want to be with him and that usually means in your country.

He will always be easy to reach if he thinks he hit the jackpot.
It is not unheard of that ENTIRE families are in on the con, including his parents, children and wives/girlfriends who pretend to be cousins and extended family.
Crazy but true.
So the fact that he brings you to his home town means nothing. Because his family and friends are on his side and will not burst his cover.

It's kind of sample.
Hotel worker = sankie
Hotel owner = maybe not
Resort owner who drives a big jeepeta and makes more $ than you is not a sankie and he won't need you at all, or he will treat you like crap

The Hun

Phone, Family, Prison Bail

dalila05 said:

_she sent money after 2 week because he broke his phone and they could not talk daily!

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:lick: :lick: :lick: :lick:

From sankie.101, 2nd lesson.
But it did the trick AGAIN.

It is obviously difficult to accept that someone is only interested in you for material reasons, but if you visit the DR for longer than a holiday you will see that everyones motives are materialistic and no one will do anything for nothing, if they do you will be stuck with them until they have got their worth from you in some way. IMO and from the people that I have met and observed in the Dominican with Dominican partners accept that it is a financial agreement in some respects. 'Most' of the men (including myself) are batting well above their mark and decide to just live with it as it isn't such a bad life once all the initial orientation is unspoken but batted out and you have a silent agreement.

Now I am not saying that all women have young studs and all the men have amazing beauties to look after them, but it is a slice of reality. I for one in my late 30's would not have an 18 year old stunning girlfriend if I didn't have a good job and look after her financially. I am aware of that and accept it as it suits my lifestyle, my job doesn't leave me time to create a real relationship so I prefer to pretend and have her rather than nothing. Loads of men are the same, and women also.
It isn't ideal but to have a relationship with a Dominican you have to be prepared to understand it can all turn out quite shallow and meaningless. Then again, no doubt many have had pretty normal comings together, but I wouldn't expect that many were down to love at first sight.
From what you have said I think you might be best to forget it, or have fun with each other and then go home and get on with normality.

donP said:

:lick: :lick: :lick: :lick:

From sankie.101, 2nd lesson.
But it did the trick AGAIN.

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i dont know if its on sankie.101
but she accepted to get married after the 2nd trip!!:surprised
and she was so over the moon,lol

If you read previous threads like you say you did there really is no reason to ask the question.
I think you already know what replies you will get and are just trying to get the usual tired old responses.

Aunt Betty
knitting for England

This never gets old... or does it? :tired: :tired: :tired: