well here we are - three months gone:
I don't know if I have a lot of tips but maybe something here will help.
I went to get my husband in the midst of one of the biggest blizzards in Calgary ever. My flight was delayed I missed my first connection, would have missed the second - but made it just as the gate was closing - unfortunately my luggage didn't - and being as I went on Friday came back monday - and the luggage was empty for his stuff and had his winter clothes -a bit stressful.... we landed in Calgary to -37 weather - awesome
I spent the first week or so at home with him - we got our SIN, healthcard, signed up for ESL, got a bank account and drove around the new city. And slept - both of us were exhausted from the process. You can get your SIN and healthcard in alberta with just the record of landing. I also was able to sign him up for benefits.
after that it was the busy christmas season so that kept us tied up - didn't really feel like real life set in until January.
My husband has integrated well - he goes to one of the two small latin stores in our town to chat and make friends, he's recently started part time work, he gets around the city well using the buses. My neice was in college so she showed him around the bus routes and what to do.
He hates the cold - no matter what I put him in his feet get cold and have to be heated up after being outside for any length of time. but he still goes out and about. but he does go and shovel snow every time it snows.
He's only recently started working so before that he felt a little couped up - so I would come home from work and take him somewhere - anywhere - to get him out of the house, we'd drive around, go to the latin store and hang out, go to the mall - anything really.. just to get him out and show him where things are.
he does all the housework - and makes sure its done before friday so we have our weekends together. I try to pitch in and do stuff to help him on his class nights or when he's at work so he doesn't feel i'm taking advantage - but our time together -is strictly time together.
My husband's always been good with money so that's not an issue - in fact sometimes he's too cheap... he's purchased a set of clippers to cut his hair as in his mind hair cuts are way too much money here... he's pretty proud of this.
We had agreed on how much we would send home when he came - he has a daughter and I would never not provide her with anything while he's getting settled and we also look after his parents who are aging. I've never felt taken advantage of by his family - when a problem comes up they split the amount of money needed equally amongst his brothers and sisters - we aren't expected to put up any more than the rest. He doesn't like that right now its me earning the money - but he isn't macho about it - just feels like a burden. our bank accounts are joint - both of them - that way he is seeing the things we have to pay for. I wasn't sure what he would want but he asked for his account to be joint when he set it up.
he's learned to use a can opener - after me freaking out seeing him with a big knife in the can. I eventually had to leave the opener on the counter to encourage use.
he loves his slippers - and wool socks... and his fuzzy yankees blanket i got him - he even packed his blanket to go with us at christmas time to my parents.
he also loves the heated mattress pad I bought - a little bit before bed he'll ask - "my love did you turn the bed on" nothing worse than getting in a cold bed.
our house is kept quite warm - what i've saved on the phone i've spent on heating - haha!
we always told each other what was happening before when we were apart - I didn't stop anywhere after work without telling him so - so that part is no different...
we've had some trouble with how soon you make plans - my friends will ask on monday - do you want to come over saturday - when I ask him - he's like I don't know we'll see what saturday is like - he has trouble understanding canadians live for making plans and filing out their calendars early - I've just adopted his non-chalance - I say we're not sure we'll let you know later in the week ... that's just how we roll now... our compromise is deciding by thursday... but both of us being homebodies we don't do a lot...
i did have to adjust to him wanting to get out every day after being stuck at home - i like to go home after work and curl up with a book - but I had to remind myself he'd been there all day - so every day on my way home I get myself ready and walk through the door and say where are we going.. even just a small errand makes him feel like he was somewhere... now that he gets around on teh bus this isn't as big of a deal.
we rent our movies with spanish - and we watch half in spanish with english subtitles and half in english with spanish subtitiles - he thinks its awesome that i do this and it helps him. we go out to the movies now and then as our "date"
I wrote him a guide for the channels on teh dish - after he complained that he'd go to watch a movie and it would say he had to pay - he was confused - so I made him a cheat sheet...
as for food - well he cooks what he likes - so far we've gone through 12 kgs of rice since he got here. he likes my cooking too so we try to take turns - I'm grateful he's willing to cook as i don't know how to make most - though I'm learning. I had bought a dominican cookbook but have never used it - he informed me when I showed it to him that he would be my teacher and show me what he liked... good enough for me.
he loves beef from my parent's farm - can't really blame him - so he will often request i make burgers or steak.
I help him with english lessons, we play scrabble to practice writing. WE also played a lot of dominoes on the cold winter nights... which was funner than I had thought.. he was so happy when I suggested it one night when it was -40.
He's been good at learning how to manage the house - the central vac, the water softener - he's really good about having me explain it all.
its been great - I feel like before we were always in the DR and I relied on him completely to get what I needed -now its reversed... and its good to know that we can rely completely on one another.
most recently we went to the eye doctor -my husband's father has glaucoma so I was on a mission. he told the doctor I needed to go with him as his english wasn't that good -the doctor said she has to do her exam too - you speak fine - go get started and if you have trouble she'll be right here.. when I was done i went in and they were saying how great his english was - on the way home - he was so impressed that a doctor thought he spoke well - I said I tell you that all the time - his reply - "i thought you were just being nice because you're my wife"...
My husband's heading home for easter - a busy time for me at work - he has some things to attend to and there was a seat sale and he'll be in between classes for ESL - he's excited - i'm sad - two weeks is a long time for us now ... but I'm happy as I know he misses his daughter and can't wait to see her.
we're going to toronto in June to watch the yankees play - I can't wait for that - he's so excited about it!
married life is good - we always high five each other and say we're the best team when we figure something out together.
