Cultural Differences!

[GringaRubia]

One partner may think "Oh, we are so in love!" and the other might think, "Thank goodness I am getting some every day!"


Maine girl this is so funny....and so true !!!

 

[lafleurb]

Dominicans have color that are very difficult for them to transcend. Marrying up in color is a big deal. Straight hair is a really big deal. First question grandma asks: pelo bueno o pelo malo (sorry about my spelling)

White North Americans do not usually spend a lot of time checking the precise skin tone of future spouses. Imagine discussing exactly how white your girlfriend is? Is it permi-tan? clear? translucent? or if her hair is curly or straight.

I have to agree with this. My wife has the most gorgeous black curly hair of any woman I have ever known - and doesn't feel good about herself unless she has it straightened on a regular basis. She also likes to dye it brown. And asking her to lay out and get a tan gets me the same look as if I had asked her to beat her Mother with a club. I wonder just how much of her attraction to me is my lily-white skin... Thing is, I'm pretty sure she's not even aware of the basis for these preferences...

In my family there's a type of reverse discrimination. Her mixed-race looks are met with nothing but admiration. "Race? Who cares about race? She's beautiful!" is the attitude.

 

[Berzin]

I wonder just how much of her attraction to me is my lily-white skin...

Wonder no more. You just answered your own question.

Have you ever heard of the word "lavao"? This is when a dominican wants their offspring to come out with light skin. It is to me a derogatory word implying that dark skin is dirty, but this is how some dominicans use the word.

 

[NALs]

Thing is, I'm pretty sure she's not even aware of the basis for these preferences...

In this age where history and grounded assumptions are being re-researched and, in some cases, re-written; nothing is what we have been taught to believe. The following quote is rather interesting:

There is evidence, however, that this aesthetic preference [towards light skin] is native to Africa. Ardener (1954) found it to be widespread among the Ibo of Nigeria, including generations born before the colonial period. In a survey of the Human Relations Area Files, van den Berghe and Frost (1986) noted a consistent cross-cultural preference for lighter skin in women but not in men. Sub-Saharan Africa is no exception, as shown by these extracts from the ethnographic literature:

Bambara (Mali) -
The Bambara are not unmoved by the beauty of a woman's form; they can distinguish a well-formed body from a malformed one, a pretty woman from an ugly one, and they find a coppery skin more attractive than one of ebony black. (Henry 1910:217)

Tallensi (Ghana) -
In skin colour they vary from black through chocolate brown to bronze, which the natives call "red" (bon-ze'e) and regard as the most attractive bodily hue. (Fortes 1945:7)

Hausa (Nigeria) -
Light skin colour, referred to as "red", ranks high in the Hausa criteria of beauty; many variations of colour, from black to a very light reddish brown are seen. (Smith 1965:264)

Ibo (Nigeria) -
In Ibo culture, however, these yellowish or reddish complexions are considered more beautiful than the darker, ‘blacker,’ complexions. ... It is true that, in West Africa, government has for many years been identified with pale-skinned Europeans, but the Ibo evidence suggests that preference for paleness of complexion is indigenous. (Ardener 1954:71-72)

Azande (Sudan) –
Of the women and girls, some with babies, he kept the most beautiful in Zande eyes, those brightest of eye and clearest of skin and with full breasts, for his couch. (Evans-Pritchard 1937:60)

Berti (Sudan) -
Men and women affirm without any hesitation that men are black, hot and hard and women are white, cold and soft. (Holy 1988:471)

Somali (Somalia) -
Men appreciate women of good height and stature, with good hips and breasts, and plump but not fat. A reddish tinged skin is thought highly of in preference to a dark dull black. (Lewis 1962:13)

Masai (Kenya, Tanzania) -
Further requirements for being regarded as beautiful are an oval face, white teeth, black gums, a skin color as light as possible ... (Merker 1910:18)

Rundi (Rwanda, Burundi) –
Beauty does not count very heavily, but a man is not displeased if people notice that his wife is attractive and well-fleshed, has a long and narrow nose, a light skin, and is somewhat like a cow. (Albert 1963:203)

Ganda (Uganda) -
There is, in respect of the ordinary negroid complexion, a preference for paleness deeply rooted in the Ganda ideal of beauty. ... The Ganda concept of skin pigmentation considers light coloured complexions to be differing shades of white. A dark brown skin colour is said to be — eruyeru, that is, somewhat white. A really brown-reddish-yellow person is said to be mweru = white, which in comparison would be considered to be blonde; and this in the Ganda aesthetic language is considered as red = myufu, the most perfect skin pigmentation. (Lugira 1970:34-35)

Nairobi (Kenya) –
In the future the increasing use of skin lightening creams such as "Ambi" may eventually reduce the importance of natural skin color. But whatever the case, in Nairobi of the 1960’s, as throughout much of Kenya, the lighter "brown" girls are usually considered to be more beautiful than "black" girls — and the more successful prostitutes are invariably "brown." (McVicar 1969:242)

Ila, Lunda, Luvale, and Chokwe (Zambia) -
Here too words meaning literally "white" are commonly used to refer to light skins though "red" may also be used. Light skins are admired just as much as is shown to occur among the Ibo, and young girls discussing the possible attractions of various young men have often been heard to emphasize "very black" as a point against someone. In the past at least one attraction of a light skin apart from its intrinsic appeal was the fact that the tattooing stood out against it in strong contrast. Very black skins are not infrequently thought to go hand in hand with inherited witchcraft and a light skin to indicate its absence. Dark-skinned women conscious of their possible disadvantage have been heard to tell men that light-skinned women will be found to be sexually unsatisfying. (White 1954)

Ngoni (Malawi) -
Young men say that what they like in a girl is a light skin colour, a pretty face, and the ability to dance and to copulate well. (Barnes 1951:30)

Kgatla (Botswana) -
... the generally admired type is a light-skinned girl of somewhat heavy build, with prominent breasts and large, firm buttocks. (Schapera 1966: 46)

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-NALs

 

[samanasuenos]

In re-reading this thread, it ocurred to me that Polygamous Dominican Love a.k.a PDL ( so much ya just have to share it) is not so much a developing country thing as...

Could it be the French (yes!) and Spanish influence. I am just remembering how common affairs are in France, no big deal, just look the other way.

My question is:

Is PDL more rooted in:
a. Taino roots
b. French/Spanish/Portuguese influence
c. developing country syndrom
d. warm weather makes us all run warmer, to put it one way!

Pick a letter and tell us why, please.

Gracias, Suenos of Samana