This site is very descriptive of dozens, if not hundreds, of American, Canadian and European women bringing/sponsoring these men to their respective countries. Many of these women tell us of their difficulties and struggles when trying to adapt their men to a different life style; job issues; domestic issues and financial responsibilities. My question pertains to the level of compromising that takes places when it comes to spending their combined income (if indeed both contribute to household expenses etc?). Does Jose insists on buying the latest and expensive ?Air Jordan? sneakers (or the gigantean gold neck chain to impress his friends once he?s back to visit DR for the first time) or does he agrees with MaryAnne on saving for a house/condo down payment?
Comments?
From personal experience I can tell you that when you marry a Dominican the issue of money management is a very tricky issue. It will make or break the relationship. Dominican men do NOT like to be told how to spend their money. Having not been raised in a Western society like the people sponsoring them, they cannot and do not draw from the same experience or knowledge base when it comes to money management. Many of them did not have a lot of money when living in the Dominican Republic so they did not have a lot of money to manage. Basically, if they had enough to pay their day-to-day expenses, that was the little bit of responsibility they had with money. There were no mortgage payments, car payments, insurance, utilities, saving for vacation, etc. Therefore, when they start their "new" life abroad and start making serious money, which to them is more than they have probably ever had in their life at one time, they have a huge learning curve to get up to speed on how to manage what they earn with the bills that must be paid versus the things they want to buy or money they want to send home to family, etc. There WILL inevitably be arguments at first over how the person will contribute to the household expenses and what any extra should be spent on. All I can say is that it's a work in progress and you really have to work together and have lots of patience to really try and understand where each other are coming from in where you want the money to go. First of all, you need to sit down with each other and go over the NECESSARY expenses so that each person is well aware of what NEEDS to get paid every month. Share with each other what's really important to you in terms of where your future dreams are. Then you have to look at what your combined income is. You can either agree to share all money equally and once the expenses are paid, you will share the leftover. The only problem with this is that one person will inevitably spend more than the other and somtimes both parties are okay with that but sometimes they are not. Dominican men (my experience) do not like to be told how to spend their money. They will want the newest and latest clothes, chains, etc. because they have probably not been able to have them most of their life and now that they are making enough money and are living in a place where it's possible, they will want to shop. Once the bills are paid, try and work it out so that each of you has your own spending money to spend so that they feel they are in charge of their own money and what they can spend it on. It's hard when two people come from two totally different backgrounds and have different ideas of where the money should go. The main thing that will cause friction is if one person tries to tell the other how to spend their money with no choice... like taking total control. It will inevitably end in disagreement. Hope that helps.
