Do "Nice" Dominicanas ever ask for money?

[pollogringo]

This works both ways. Dominican girls that get involved with foreigners hear that they're probably getting played too. Sometimes it's been the case. Some guys have a few girls down there. Some guys are even married.

Lots of communication should be taking place. Questions being asked and answered, by both parties.

 

[kdolo]

In my experience all - ALL - Dominicans eventually ask for money at some point - one way or the other - male and female. Once a certain level of familiarity has been reached - they all do it. Unless, independently wealthy or from a rich family (less than 1%).

The simple assumption is this: Your flight and vacation cost what it take them 3-5 months to earn - assuming they even have a real job; therefore you are rich (subconcious and conscious)

In a sense. you are relatively speaking: you can spend that kind of money purely on pleasure and not the necessities of life.

They are compelled to ask - it's not a character flaw - it's instinct - imagine you dating a woman you knew to be a multi-millionairess - eventually you'd ask for something - if not money then maybe help with an investment or some such.

Furthermore, women in general (equate giving extended access to their bodies as something that will be compensated for either by way of commitment, money, security, status,......its always something and never truly free with them - unless the interaction is purely casual).

So the only question you need to ask is: what does she provide for you ?? and is that worth the money/time/energy/ investment - that she is asking ?? - is the interaction mutually beneficial after factoring in all your costs ?? if the answer is yes, then proceed. If and when is ceases to be, then leave.

Remember, the one thing Dominicans are not is romantic. So remove your thoughts from the realm of the romantic and to the realm of the practical. It is to be expected that if she has a gringo or man with means in her life, that he will be helping her - what she really actually spends it on is up to her. And don't think that giving money or not giving affects her fidelity - it doesn't (rationality being another trait that they don't have in abundance).

 

[santiagodude]

WTF?


I mean really? This is not rocket science, find out what her rent and school is and pay them directly. Tell her to give you the information cuz you are not handing her cash. Find a trustworthy friend in Santiago (you dudes can always seem to find women but never can find decent friends) and each month give the damn friend $10 to go to her apt complex, pay her rent, go by her University, pay her school and provide you with the receipts.
You're all gung-ho about this "nice" girl, she living in a third world country, and you're asking if you should pay her rent and education....I wish she knew you were on here asking this so she could dump your a$$.
It's not like she said she needed a new LCD TV or a new Blackberry or I-phone. These expenses in DR for her probably arent more than $350/month. Lets see you get more than 2 dates with an American woman spending less than $350. Cheap a$$.

I would be the first to slam her if she was asking for unnecessary pleasures which alot of them do but she asked you for RENT and EDUCATION. This is the same chic you claim to be "nice" that I'm sure you want to be at your beck and call each time your skinny white butt (I'm assuming) lands in Santiago.

Man up for once in your life....

It costs to be the boss

SHALENA

Dear Shalena,

Where do I ask should I pay? I simply asked if the request is "normal" for a nice girl.
As stated earlier money is not the issue character is.
Furthermore contrary to your advice, many here have advised AGAINST paying her expenses.
So relax a take a chill pill sister...Oh and your assumptions about me could not be further from the truth...but they are funny.

Cheers

 

[santiagodude]

If you really knew her (well enough to be intimate with her), you wouldn't be in a position to ask this question publicly. If you really care for her, why don't you know her more than this and need to ask this question of strangers?

My advice? Get to know this woman. Spend time with her. Go with her to pay her rent. Go with her to pay her tuition. Go meet her family. Ask how they have been helping her lately.

If she is the real deal, all the things she has been telling you will prove real and this will make your relationship stronger. If you see some red flags, than you have all you need to know to make the right decision for yourself.

Lindsey

Who really knows anyone? My question is related to Dominican culture and what is "normal"....but thanks for your input.

 

[pollogringo]

Remember, the one thing Dominicans are not is romantic. So remove your thoughts from the realm of the romantic and to the realm of the practical. It is to be expected that if she has a gringo or man with means in her life, that he will be helping her - what she really actually spends it on is up to her. And don't think that giving money or not giving affects her fidelity - it doesn't (rationality being another trait that they don't have in abundance).

You know of what you speak.

 

[santiagodude]

In my experience all - ALL - Dominicans eventually ask for money at some point - one way or the other - male and female. Once a certain level of familiarity has been reached - they all do it. Unless, independently wealthy or from a rich family (less than 1%).

The simple assumption is this: Your flight and vacation cost what it take them 3-5 months to earn - assuming they even have a real job; therefore you are rich (subconcious and conscious)

In a sense. you are relatively speaking: you can spend that kind of money purely on pleasure and not the necessities of life.

They are compelled to ask - it's not a character flaw - it's instinct - imagine you dating a woman you knew to be a multi-millionairess - eventually you'd ask for something - if not money then maybe help with an investment or some such.

Furthermore, women in general (equate giving extended access to their bodies as something that will be compensated for either by way of commitment, money, security, status,......its always something and never truly free with them - unless the interaction is purely casual).

So the only question you need to ask is: what does she provide for you ?? and is that worth the money/time/energy/ investment - that she is asking ?? - is the interaction mutually beneficial after factoring in all your costs ?? if the answer is yes, then proceed. If and when is ceases to be, then leave.

Remember, the one thing Dominicans are not is romantic. So remove your thoughts from the realm of the romantic and to the realm of the practical. It is to be expected that if she has a gringo or man with means in her life, that he will be helping her - what she really actually spends it on is up to her. And don't think that giving money or not giving affects her fidelity - it doesn't (rationality being another trait that they don't have in abundance).

This is the type of insight I am seeking....Thanks

 

[pollogringo]

Who really knows anyone? My question is related to Dominican culture and what is "normal"....but thanks for your input.

More to the point, it's not unusual for Dominicans to ask for things. This is not something that started with you or I. This comes from having family in the extranjero. They assume that things are cheaper and of better quality and in greater variety and they're not wrong. So when Tia is coming to visit they ask for something. They don't mean any harm by it, though it runs very counter to how many of us were raised.

 

[yacht chef]

Well if SKING was off base then ( fat & black ) please the last there posts by dolo , polo & Lindsay were 100 % . I wish I had been given that advice befor I Fucced up big . Its true that us gringos are statrting to get a bad rep . Lot's of communicathion is importint. And if I may add my 2 scents you need lots of patience and lots of it .

 

[pollogringo]

And if I may add my 2 scents you need lots of patience and lots of it .

That was kind of Yogi Berra-esque.

 

[JohnnyBoy]

You want the headaches of a long distance relationship and paying the bills is one of them. As for nice or not nice about asking money ask yourself what is the age difference? If its more than ten years you are Daddy. Pay the bills. Do you flash money around like a big shot? Thats an invitation to get asked to pay the bills. Frankly a woman asking you to pay the bills after three months sounds like a working girl to me. It wouldnt stop me from paying them if I thought I was getting my moneys worth but dont fool yourself about her being faithful or loving you. Chances are she isnt and doesnt but you may be pleasantly suprised.
I would think long and hard before you move forward with this plan of yours.

 

[kdolo]

Well if SKING was off base then ( fat & black ) please the last there posts by dolo , polo & Lindsay were 100 % . I wish I had been given that advice befor I Fucced up big . Its true that us gringos are statrting to get a bad rep . Lot's of communicathion is importint. And if I may add my 2 scents you need lots of patience and lots of it .

I wouldn't pay too much attention form the 'gringos getting a bad rap thing'. The only bad behavior I see from gringos are the out of control whore mongers who typically spread from Sosua and act like they have never seen a vagina or like they have no home training and cant tell the difference between when to use the inside voice (inside) and the outside voice (outside).

From my experience, the average gringo who is serious with a Dominican woman treats her -overall- light years ahead of his Dominican counterpart....less machismo, more 'equal', typically more stable economically, future oriented etc, not cool making babies and then abandoning them simply because 'la cosa no funciona' ....

the problem is that the cultural imperatives due to economy and history are different. When actual survival is the issue, its hard to be future oriented. It hard to trust that decency and stability can be had when there is very little of it on a societal level.....if all you know is machismo hit and run experts, than you never really trust someone offering something different - even if intellectually that's what you say you want ......

So the key to the gringo- dominicana relationship is for the gringo to realize these cultural differences - and to take a page from the dominican male. Treat the woman not so much as an equal - as is pounded into our heads in the "1st world"., but more like a child and all that this implies: ..... you operate with this mentally and you have shot at real success. - be more culturally appropriate as a man......

 

[mbgmike]

This is the type of insight I am seeking....Thanks

sometimes nice dominicans do not get paid. college degree or not. This is also true in South America. Other countries people get spoiled with a steady pay check. My wife does the payroll (one of her duties) for a construction company between 150 and 200 employees. They blame her when there is not enough to pay everyone. she goes home with nothing some weeks. They get paid eventually but sometimes they get a prepaid visa to pay bills is all. Its not the same here. Money problems can affect anyone here. Dominicans always help family in every way. You do not marry a woman you marry everyone in the family and now you are part of it. Trust is earned. Pay her bills for now and see what happens. If its meant to be it will happen, you can't look at it financially. My wife when we started dating never asked me for money but I offered when i saw she was needing things. Meet her family if she offers and if she does not give her a hint.
My wife was a gift from the Dios. i got the family as a bonus jajajajaja Good Luck. remember dominicans are crazy !!!!!!

 

[pollogringo]

I wouldn't pay too much attention form the 'gringos getting a bad rap thing'. The only bad behavior I see from gringos are the out of control whore mongers who typically spread from Sosua and act like they have never seen a vagina or like they have no home training and cant tell the difference between when to use the inside voice (inside) and the outside voice (outside).

From my experience, the average gringo who is serious with a Dominican woman treats her -overall- light years ahead of his Dominican counterpart....less machismo, more 'equal', typically more stable economically, future oriented etc, not cool making babies and then abandoning them simply because 'la cosa no funciona' ....

the problem is that the cultural imperatives due to economy and history are different. When actual survival is the issue, its hard to be future oriented. It hard to trust that decency and stability can be had when there is very little of it on a societal level.....if all you know is machismo hit and run experts, than you never really trust someone offering something different - even if intellectually that's what you say you want ......

So the key to the gringo- dominicana relationship is for the gringo to realize these cultural differences - and to take a page from the dominican male. Treat the woman not so much as an equal - as is pounded into our heads in the "1st world"., but more like a child and all that this implies: ..... you operate with this mentally and you have shot at real success. - be more culturally appropriate as a man......

Spot on!

 

[kdolo]

the same situation occurs with women who are not from the batey or Sosua - even with professional educated women etc...-

this is a cultural thing really. You can 'win', but you have to know the rules of the game......

 

[SKing]

Dear Shalena,

Where do I ask should I pay? I simply asked if the request is "normal" for a nice girl.
As stated earlier money is not the issue character is.
Furthermore contrary to your advice, many here have advised AGAINST paying her expenses.
So relax a take a chill pill sister...Oh and your assumptions about me could not be further from the truth...but they are funny.

Cheers

Well then sir, how the hell are we supposed to know about her character...YOU'RE the one dating her. So to answer your question, EVERYONE asks for money in a dating situation at some point. Good girls, bad girls, cute girls, ugly girls...but maybe you'd know that if.....well, I won't even go there.

Yes, there are some that advise against paying bills but I believe most frown upon the cell phone bill, new clothes, etc. I point out again, she asked about rent and school. Obviously, YOU need to learn a little more about your girl and then maybe you wouldn't have to go online asking if she's a "nice" girl or not.

Wish you the best of luck, it's your girl I feel sorry for in this case.

Also, they stopped selling "chill pills" back in the early 90s. Nice attempt though

SHALENA

 

[keepcoming]

When my sister in-law was in med school in the Capital her and another student (female) had a apartment together. Saved money. The families (hers and her friends) brought food monthly (rice, beans, ect..) and there was no "papi chulo". They did it for over 3 years and I never questioned the arrangement. So is that arrangement possible, yes it is..

 

[bronzeallspice]

I wouldn't pay too much attention form the 'gringos getting a bad rap thing'. The only bad behavior I see from gringos are the out of control whore mongers who typically spread from Sosua and act like they have never seen a vagina or like they have no home training and cant tell the difference between when to use the inside voice (inside) and the outside voice (outside).

From my experience, the average gringo who is serious with a Dominican woman treats her -overall- light years ahead of his Dominican counterpart....less machismo, more 'equal', typically more stable economically, future oriented etc, not cool making babies and then abandoning them simply because 'la cosa no funciona' ....

the problem is that the cultural imperatives due to economy and history are different. When actual survival is the issue, its hard to be future oriented. It hard to trust that decency and stability can be had when there is very little of it on a societal level.....if all you know is machismo hit and run experts, than you never really trust someone offering something different - even if intellectually that's what you say you want ......

So the key to the gringo- dominicana relationship is for the gringo to realize these cultural differences - and to take a page from the dominican male. Treat the woman not so much as an equal - as is pounded into our heads in the "1st world"., but more like a child and all that this implies: ..... you operate with this mentally and you have shot at real success. - be more culturally appropriate as a man......

Hmmm... Interesting.Treat the woman not so much as an equal,but more like a child.What exactly do
you mean by that? Care to give some examples? I'm just intrigued.

 

[pollogringo]

You never really know what you're getting:

[video=youtube;j95qODajpTs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j95qODajpTs[/video]

 

[pollogringo]

Hmmm... Interesting.Treat the woman not so much as an equal,but more like a child.What exactly do
you mean by that? Care to give some examples? I'm just intrigued.

It sounds offensive, I know. But he's not wrong. When I've played the evolved American asking for opinions and input from my gf, it's foreign to her. Not to say that we don't discuss things. But she's come out and told me many times to simply tell her what to do or what we're going to be doing. That goes against my nature but it's what she feels comfortable with.

 

[kdolo]

If this keeps up, I might have to start charging for the knowledge ??

I see that there is a demand out there for understanding the Dominican female vis a vis their relationships to gringos...