Dominican Men in General

[maryanne]

my 2 cents

You have been in this relationship for almost 3 years now and it is going to be hard to walk away from it. However, you recognize that this relationship is not what you're looking for, but matters of the heart are always difficult. If after all this time, your man hasn't changed, then he really won't change in the future either. No matter how much he says he loves you, you may not be happy. A relationship consists of more than just love; there must be compassion, understanding, compromises, respect, etc. It should never be one sided. I was married for almost 10 years before I realized that I would never be happy. I married my ex because I loved him and I was hoping to change him. In the end, I had to change and as a result, I wasn't happy. Make yourself happy first. Find out who you are and what you want out of a relationship. Sounds like you're already doing that because you recognize what is missing in your relationship. Once you are your own person, then find someone who is suited for you.

Repect yourself. Remember that you deserve to be loved by someone the same way you love them. Expect nothing less!

 

[Chilipepper]

Princessa

I am married to a Dominican man for almost six years now and he is not like that. This is something that happens to men in general not only Dominican men. My sister was in a relationship with an Irish guy and reading your post I thought I reading about her. I think that you have to give yourself a lot of value and show him that you are worth more than what he is willing to give you. Once he sees this self assurance in you, he will either, get his act together or he will leave. Not to sound harsh, but once you show him that you are more important to you, you will see what he truly wants.

 

[ILLPrincessa]

I feel you and thank you. Cause I know I have a lot of value. Just not to myself but to others. And I know he is like that cause he thinks I am always going to be around.

 

[Linda Stapleton]

MaryAnne,

Well said. I'll try to remember that one. We often hear that we can't love another person more than we love ourselves, and most of us don't love ourselves very much, especially if we're staying in relationships where we are mostly unhappy. Yes, I like your slant on it, too. Thanks.

 

[Musicqueen]

Here comes the psychologist...

First of all...

Do you mind telling us how old you are? By the way you write, you sound very young...

Second:

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS...

Have you ever heard that before? It doesn't matter how many times someone tells you they love you, if they are not SHOWING it...they DON'T love you!

YOU have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can LOVE ANYBODY else...and it sounds to me like you might be a little insecure...

YOU DON'T NEED A MAN TO LOVE YOU!!!

I know it's really hard to do...I learned the hard way...but it's better to be alone than to be with someone that only causes you grief...

So...be strong...look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth it...He might not see it, but someone will eventually see that you are a worthy woman and love you for who you really are!!!

Be happy!!!

 

[ILLPrincessa]

Don't need to listen

The last time I check I was asking for advise not someone telling how things are done. And Like I have read in other posting......first if you can't speak to be helpful.............. don't speak at all.

 

[Musicqueen]

ILLPrincessa

...is that answer for me?

Look, I don't know if you noticed but I AM THE QUEEN on this board...

I was just trying to be helpful...but you know what? Like I would tell my daughter...if you don't want to hear it...<b>DON'T ASK FOR ADVICE...</b>

I was only trying to be helpful...:devious:

Qui?n me manda a mi a meterme donde no me importa!!!

 

[ILLPrincessa]

Reina

The reason I came out the way I came out cause the way you represented yourself to me. Yes true I was asking for advise. But when you give some advise and you not knowing the person I think you would help them in a much better way. Cause when you speak with camps it is cause you are yelling at the person you are writing to. So disculpame

 

[Musicqueen]

Apology accepted...

No need to be sad...

I used the caps not to yell...but to get the point across...

I have a daughter that I think might be around your age, and that's exactly what I have told her before...

Believe me, I went through the same thing once...and like I said I had to learn it the hard way...that's why I always emphazise to learn to love yourself first...

I did...and now I'm enjoying my life much, much more than before!!!

 

[ERICKXSON]

CRY ME A RIVER CRY ME A RIVER One thing ladies if the guy is treating you that way please get rid of him he is not interested in you no more.

 

[Tony C]

I will be blunt.


Whenever I told a girlfriend of mine I wanted some time away for "Soul Searching" What I really meant was that I was going to be nailing another chic for a change of pace.

Feel free to do what you want for this info.


Yea ladies I know.....I'm a pig!

 

[Camden Tom]

It' simple

Women get involved in a relationship with a man thinking they can change them, BUT THEY CAN'T. Men get involved in a relationship with a women thinking they won't change, BUT THEY DO.

 

[kjdrga]

Is the sex great? Cause it's hard to walk away from good sex? This is a serious question.

 

[maryanne]

more of my 2 cents and questions

ILLPrincessa, how old are you? Is this your first real relationship? Because, to me, you sound a little young and very confused.

The women who have responded to you are wise woman. Everything they have said is 100% true and you may not like what you're hearing. However, as women we will tell you the way it is because we do not like when other women are stepped on. I'm surprised that the men on this board have been so quiet because quite frankly, they would tear this thread apart. I've seen that done many times.

You are involved with a man who is acting like a child. He needs to grow up and find out what he wants. I don't care whether or not he's Dominican because men like this can be found all over the world. Open your eyes! Act more grown up than he is! You don't need anyone in your life only yourself. And don't ever rely on a man to make you happy. Take control of your life.

 

[latinarubia]

Hey Princessa, I hope it's not too late for a little more feedback. I was once in ur situation too. I dated a guy for five years (broke up at 22) and looking back I can't believe I dragged things on as long as I did. He displayed similar bahaviour, was never really sure what he wanted (mind you we were young), not very open or clear about his feelings and just not as comitted to working things out as I felt I was. He put me through some serious crap and I remember feeling so helpless and really wanting to be able to move on but every time I tried to, something held me back.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's easy to tell someone they deserve better (all my friends said it), and intellectually, you yourself probably know that this is not a truely fulfilling relationship. It's extremely difficult at first to just let go but there will come a time when you will be ready to do it if things don't improve. I had to go through a lot before I could really move on but when I finally did and when I started meeting new guys I realized that I had been selling myself short for so long. If you decide to let go, I assure you one day you will look back with a completely different perspective. If you are compromising ur happiness to figure someone out and to try to make them a better person (without success) then you are paying too high of a price. I learned the hard way that some people will never change. Life is too short for all that nonsense. Good luck!

 

[diablorojo]

Your problem has nothing to do with him being Dominican! You are in a codependent relationship. You can't control his actions, only your reactions to him.....thats all you are responsible for ...how you react! Get help for yourself to break this behavior of codependence.......

There are decent Dominican men and women......but no one will meet them if they are going there as a tourist looking for a cheap vacation, alcohol, and cheap sex.......parasitic behavior attracts parasites.......sorry to put it this way, but all this about sex with hotel workers(servents) and low class people won't bring happiness....and there has to be an obvious border there.....and the motivation from both sides is not at all positive I think....I just don't feel sorry for the bad experiences you people have......sure, some were taken advantage of, but you have to use common sense.......

 

[Chris]

Your problem has nothing to do with him being Dominican! You are in a codependent relationship. You can't control his actions, only your reactions to him.....thats all you are responsible for ...how you react! Get help for yourself to break this behavior of codependence.......

There are decent Dominican men and women......but no one will meet them if they are going there as a tourist looking for a cheap vacation, alcohol, and cheap sex.......parasitic behavior attracts parasites.......sorry to put it this way, but all this about sex with hotel workers(servents) and low class people won't bring happiness....and there has to be an obvious border there.....and the motivation from both sides is not at all positive I think....I just don't feel sorry for the bad experiences you people have......sure, some were taken advantage of, but you have to use common sense.......

Nice post! Clearly said and for the most part good and solid advice.

 

[AnnaC]

Ok summer is over in my part of the world and we are returning to regular programing.

Stick to topic or it gets deleted.

Thank you