DR best familly component

[Aguaita29]

QUOTE=bri777;1120847]In all fairness...
in most 1st world countries ,most family members are working or going to college etc
hardly anybody is home during the day
lots of grandparents have their own pensions
its not about a less or not so deep connection [/QUOTE]

Not sure if it's really all about that! Most kids in many 1rst world countries are very unappreciative when it comes to their elders. They say horrible things to/about their parents even if their parents are very decent and hardworking people who make a lot of sacrifices for them.

For example, in the U.S. Teens will often tell you how they hate their moms; In the DR, if you ever say that it's because your mother wasn't there for you and treated you really badly.

 

[Aguaita29]

at least in the US we don't stick our kids with grammy or auntie to raise.

So, you send them to foster homes or give them away for adoption?

What happens in the US when a mother isn't able to support her child and can't find a job? She gets money from the State, right?
Here in the DR, you can't just sit and wait for the government to give you stuff. Many mothers have to get out and work and unfortunately many times that means they have to trust their children to the care of relatives.

 

[cbmitch9]

So, you send them to foster homes or give them away for adoption?

What happens in the US when a mother isn't able to support her child and can't find a job? She gets money from the State, right?
Here in the DR, you can't just sit and wait for the government to give you stuff. Many mothers have to get out and work and unfortunately many times that means they have to trust their children to the care of relatives.

Amen to that. That is so true.

 

[mountainannie]

So, you send them to foster homes or give them away for adoption?

What happens in the US when a mother isn't able to support her child and can't find a job? She gets money from the State, right?
Here in the DR, you can't just sit and wait for the government to give you stuff. Many mothers have to get out and work and unfortunately many times that means they have to trust their children to the care of relatives.

You get money from the State for only two years or so (depends on the State).

It is a good tradition that the Latin families have of the grandmothers helping with the kids and all.

But they are raised with the expectation.

UStaters are not, for the most part.

Most retirees have as a life goal that they will NOT be a burden to their children. It is the elders generally who make the plans to go to retirement homes - which are traditionally for the wealthy - from $2000 to $6000 a month which is not so cheap. And most do not anticipate living with their grown children who are usually also raising children. Call it self reliance.

Only now in the States am I hearing and seeing parents who expect that their kids will not find a job - or a living wage job= and anticipate that the kids will be coming home to live.

Just to clear up the idea that elders are "shipped away" - most of them PLAN for years on how they will be cared for for their final years

 

[JMB773]

QUOTE=bri777;1120847]In all fairness...
in most 1st world countries ,most family members are working or going to college etc
hardly anybody is home during the day
lots of grandparents have their own pensions
its not about a less or not so deep connection

Not sure if it's really all about that! Most kids in many 1rst world countries are very unappreciative when it comes to their elders. They say horrible things to/about their parents even if their parents are very decent and hardworking people who make a lot of sacrifices for them.

For example, in the U.S. Teens will often tell you how they hate their moms; In the DR, if you ever say that it's because your mother wasn't there for you and treated you really badly.[/QUOTE]

Have you lived in a household with MOST of the children from the USA, Canada, or Great Britian? Then how would you know. I think I have idea where you would get this "Lifetime Television" it is a big hit among women.

Everything bri777 stated is 1000% true, but you can't stand the fact what he said his true. Dominicans in NYC as well as on the island ALWAYS have someone home. Which mean a live in babysitter( didn't think I knew that) sisters, brothers aunts, cousins etc someone is always home.

Now most of the people from the countries I listed above LOVE their independence regardless of their age. Americans do not like people or family in their home 7 days a week. Most citizens in their golden years want to keep their independence, unless they are sick. Americans respect and love their grandparents just like the people in China.

Also when kids say " I hate you mom or dad" you know they do not mean it, they are just upset or very angry at the time, but this is the only thing you could have come up with to help your post have any substance. Give me some examples an American family kicked their parents on the street. " I hate you mom" is the best you can do.

 

[Aguaita29]

You get money from the State for only two years or so (depends on the State).

It is a good tradition that the Latin families have of the grandmothers helping with the kids and all.

But they are raised with the expectation.

UStaters are not, for the most part.

Most retirees have as a life goal that they will NOT be a burden to their children. It is the elders generally who make the plans to go to retirement homes - which are traditionally for the wealthy - from $2000 to $6000 a month which is not so cheap. And most do not anticipate living with their grown children who are usually also raising children. Call it self reliance.

Only now in the States am I hearing and seeing parents who expect that their kids will not find a job - or a living wage job= and anticipate that the kids will be coming home to live.

Just to clear up the idea that elders are "shipped away" - most of them PLAN for years on how they will be cared for for their final years

Oh, I know that many seniors decide themselves to go to a home but I just want to clear up the idea here that Dominicans take care of our elders because we have no other choice and we are STUCK with them.

My siblings and I were able to take care of our sick grandmother. She took care of us with great love and affection while we were little because mom had to work. What a great pleasure it was for us to be able to take care of this woman who gave us so much love. No burden, not even second thoughts about it! That doesn't mean we didn't have jobs and things to do, you just work things out!

Actually, my grandma would never want to be a burden for us either. About 10 years before her death, when she was still healthy and could walk, she was actually the one who made the arrangements to get a piece of land at the local cemetery. This is where she was buried!

I want to make it clear that I'm not saying that WE have a better way, I'm just saying things from a local's perspective.

 

[Chip]

I want to make it clear that I'm not saying that WE have a better way, I'm just saying things from a local's perspective.

I will say it is a better way here. It used to be this way in America but family values are being rapidly displaced by career and "non traditional" family values.

At least I know when I die my daughters and grandkids will be more than likely close by.

 

[JMB773]

So, you send them to foster homes or give them away for adoption?

What happens in the US when a mother isn't able to support her child and can't find a job? She gets money from the State, right?
Here in the DR, you can't just sit and wait for the government to give you stuff. Many mothers have to get out and work and unfortunately many times that means they have to trust their children to the care of relatives.

This is what makes the United States the best country in the world to live in. Taxes are REMOVED from everyones pay check, so we do not have to see 5 6 7 8 yr olds on the streets of NYC, LA, Atlanta, DC ,Chicago asking men if they want a shoe shine when they should be in school.

The USA could handle the welfare of children a lot better, but compared to DR PLEASE!!! If you are a mother and you send your 7 yr old out to work, guess what you go to JAIL and your child is removed.

The JOB of any government is to provide services for its citizens, so they are suppose to "give you stuff" to improve your quality of life. Insulting the USA or any American should be the last thing on your mind your:

Government STINKS
Economy STINKS
School System STINKS

I promise you on the soul of my daughters this is the LAST time I respond to anymore posts like this from the so called educated Dominicans. I do not care what anybody on DR1 says or this planet that will ever change my mind and I say this with an open heart. Dominicans are a very "brainwashed" group of people.

Very hard for a Dominican to throw stones at the USA, and you are going to comment on the fact that we have a lot of kids in the foster care system. The USA is far from a perfect place to live, and if the USA is far from perfection, what the HELL does that make the DR.

BTW It has been my pleasure conversing with you on DR1, and I say this from the bottom of my heart good luck, and if you ever see a cute little girl in Santo Domingo Este with a tiny nose tell her that her father is always think of her.

 

[bob saunders]

I just bought a house with a two bedroom apartment in the walkout basement. Very nice house, very nice neighbourhood. I rent the top to my niece and husband - very responsible people, and my moms favorite Grand-daughter. Asked my parents to move in rent free - Mom - great I ready to move. Dad - nope, I'm not going to accept charity from anyone and I don't like moving. Both my parents have Old age pensions, company pensions, and Canada Pensions so money is not an issue, but in my Dad's mind he would be giving up some independence.
As far as Dominicans, my wife gives money to half a dozen older Dominicans whose familes do nothing for them, even the kids in the states. I realize this is not the norm but not all Dominicans look after their old family members.

 

[nas]

This is what JMB773 does not understand about many posters the claim they are busniess men and have mutiple degrees from some of the best schools in the world or KNOW someone who went to a very good school. You learn this in Economics 101 and Marketing 101. Okay tell me why the second the Dominicans that arrive in the USA CHANGE? Talk to a Dominican that have been living in NYC or Jersey for 10 yrs and see the difference. Dominicans do not put their family in those places in DR because there are none. I have been to some of those senior citizens communties and some are VERY NICE, but you have to have MONEY, and most Dominicans in the USA do not have the kind of money other Americans have.

Second alot of elderly Americans are TOUGH as NAILS and would punch their sons or daughters in the belly if they ever tried to take them out of their home which by the way is PAID FOR as well as their cars. Many seniors citizens want their independence all the time.

Thrid and this if for ALL the "GURUS" on DR1 that love statistics. Do me a favor and give me the ratio of all elderly Americans living in some "awful rest home" oppose to the ones living in their OWN home or with family or in one of those beautiful retirement communities. Then do a comparison the amount of "CAPITAL American senior citizens have oppose to Dominican senior citizens in DR and NYC. I would but the "Puerto Rican Parade" starts in 3 hours.

BTW Many senior citizens do not want to be a BURDEN on their families so they try to become "invisible" I think God should have made many of you Dominicans. Americans DO NOT want to be TAKEN CARE OFF, especially OUR senior citizens.

JMB773,

Yes, when Dominicans make it to the USA, we do change, but not in the way you are suggesting.
Jobs, opportunities and an education change us financially. This gives us the advantage of helping our families back home. I think we send billions of dollars in remittance every year, due to the financial transformation.

Taking care of the elder is a cultural thing that extends beyond Dominicans. Latin American countries and the Caribbean do the same. To this day, I remember hearing “You have to make something of yourself to help your parents”. When we make it, the first thing we do is to make sure our parents are okay. When I was growing up, the number one Dominican dream for boys was to educate yourself, to find a good job, to buy your mom a house.

Here in the states, I only know one Dominican family from back home that placed an elder woman in a nursing home after the lady developed Alzheimer. The son was forced by his wife. He didn’t have the backbone to resist her wife’s insistence that his mother needed to go.

Do all Dominicans take care of their elders? Yes, for the vast majority. We even help our siblings, uncles and nephews, for crying out loud; hence the billions in remittance. Of course, there are some SOB Dominicans that don’t care about their elder parents, but the percentage might be so minute that it doesn’t make the stats.

Elders, not just Americans, do not want to be a burden on their families.
The difference between elder Americans and Dominicans centers on the fact that there is something called Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security for Americans. As you know, this not a choice for Dominicans.

It would be ideal if one could exercise judgment and refrain from name calling and stereotypical comments.

You have been insisting that Dominicans do not have any money; that we blow our money in unaffordable expensive cars and then have nothing left to fall back on. Also, to add insult to injury you said something about Dominican being the most ghetto in the USA.

From previous posts, I gathered that you are Black (American) and Puerto Rican. I also noticed that you negate your Puerto Rican heritage. Okay, for all intend and purposes you are Black. You go on saying that Blacks are better (less ghetto and better off financially) than Dominicans in the USA.

This would only be true if (and only if) you are comparing ghetto Dominicans with Black celebrity. If that weren’t the case you would be way off. By the way, a 10K watch would not qualify you as a celebrity!

To do a fair comparison of the average Dominicans and Blacks anywhere in the planet, I exhort some research on your part. Please get acquainted with the Black American history. Get up to date with the currents events on the Black communities, and finally watch a few episodes of Maury Povich (Tamika, he is not the father!).

After you’ve done all these things, then you might be in a better position to compare and contrast Dominicans and Blacks.

 

[Aguaita29]

This is what makes the United States the best country in the world to live in. Taxes are REMOVED from everyones pay check, so we do not have to see 5 6 7 8 yr olds on the streets of NYC, LA, Atlanta, DC ,Chicago asking men if they want a shoe shine when they should be in school.
The USA could handle the welfare of children a lot better, but compared to DR PLEASE!!! If you are a mother and you send your 7 yr old out to work, guess what you go to JAIL and your child is removed.

The JOB of any government is to provide services for its citizens, so they are suppose to "give you stuff" to improve your quality of life. Insulting the USA or any American should be the last thing on your mind your:

Government STINKS
Economy STINKS
School System STINKS

I promise you on the soul of my daughters this is the LAST time I respond to anymore posts like this from the so called educated Dominicans. I do not care what anybody on DR1 says or this planet that will ever change my mind and I say this with an open heart. Dominicans are a very "brainwashed" group of people.

Very hard for a Dominican to throw stones at the USA, and you are going to comment on the fact that we have a lot of kids in the foster care system. The USA is far from a perfect place to live, and if the USA is far from perfection, what the HELL does that make the DR.

BTW It has been my pleasure conversing with you on DR1, and I say this from the bottom of my heart good luck, and if you ever see a cute little girl in Santo Domingo Este with a tiny nose tell her that her father is always think of her.

Your post totally supports what I'm saying. By the way, you have a little girl who lives in the Dominican Republic. Does she have to go out to shine shoes? NO! Does the Dominican government provide any money for her? NO!, Right?
Why doesn't she have to go out to work? Because she has responsible parents but not because the government helps!

Why didn't I or any of my siblings have to go out to work when we were little and still were able to go to private schools, have books, school supplies, have a home, food, etc? Because we had a responsible mother who worked her ass off and a caring and loving grandmother. Did the government play any part on this? No way!

I've seen posters here look down on the fact that many times Dominicans leave their children under the care of an aunt or a grandma because they have to work but they also critizice mothers who don't work for being lazy. Isn't there something weird here?

Yeah the job of a government is to provide free stuff but in the DR that means nothing. I'm not throwing stones at the US government and I have never said that the US government or school system stinks. You are the one who's saying that!

By the way, don't swear on the soul of your little girl!

 

[Aguaita29]

Not sure if it's really all about that! Most kids in many 1rst world countries are very unappreciative when it comes to their elders. They say horrible things to/about their parents even if their parents are very decent and hardworking people who make a lot of sacrifices for them.

For example, in the U.S. Teens will often tell you how they hate their moms; In the DR, if you ever say that it's because your mother wasn't there for you and treated you really badly.

Have you lived in a household with MOST of the children from the USA, Canada, or Great Britian? Then how would you know. I think I have idea where you would get this "Lifetime Television" it is a big hit among women.

Everything bri777 stated is 1000% true, but you can't stand the fact what he said his true. Dominicans in NYC as well as on the island ALWAYS have someone home. Which mean a live in babysitter( didn't think I knew that) sisters, brothers aunts, cousins etc someone is always home.

Now most of the people from the countries I listed above LOVE their independence regardless of their age. Americans do not like people or family in their home 7 days a week. Most citizens in their golden years want to keep their independence, unless they are sick. Americans respect and love their grandparents just like the people in China.

Also when kids say " I hate you mom or dad" you know they do not mean it, they are just upset or very angry at the time, but this is the only thing you could have come up with to help your post have any substance. Give me some examples an American family kicked their parents on the street. " I hate you mom" is the best you can do.[/QUOTE]

Lifetime Television? ha, ha, so that means you get your material from Telemicro comedies?

PLEASE! Who are you trying to kid! The first time I ever heard the expression "I hate my parents" I was a teenager and it was from an American girl who would tell everyone that she hated her parents, that they were animals and that she couldn't wait to turn 18 to move out. Same thing when I got to interact with other American kids.

I have plenty of American friends and I know many kids aren't nice to their parents nor do they think highly of them, even if they are good people!

 

[nas]

The JOB of any government is to provide services for its citizens, so they are suppose to "give you stuff" to improve your quality of life.
I promise you on the soul of my daughters this is the LAST time I respond to anymore posts like this from the so called educated Dominicans. I do not care what anybody on DR1 says or this planet that will ever change my mind and I say this with an open heart. Dominicans are a very "brainwashed" group of people.

Oh really? the job of the government is to give you stuff!!
This is such an ignorant statement.

If you think Dominicans are brainwashed, wait until you hear this:

Did you know that when the government gives you ?free stuff? (cheese, food stamps, welfare, subsidized housing, Medicaid, etc) it is altering your behavior. The gov is making you dependent to count on you and do with you whatever it likes. Mr. JMB773, In a nutshell, this is slight form of slavery and you could figure out the brainwash part.

Is that how you could afford your collection of watches?

 

[sayanora]

I just bought a house with a two bedroom apartment in the walkout basement. Very nice house, very nice neighbourhood. I rent the top to my niece and husband - very responsible people, and my moms favorite Grand-daughter. Asked my parents to move in rent free - Mom - great I ready to move. Dad - nope, I'm not going to accept charity from anyone and I don't like moving. Both my parents have Old age pensions, company pensions, and Canada Pensions so money is not an issue, but in my Dad's mind he would be giving up some independence.
As far as Dominicans, my wife gives money to half a dozen older Dominicans whose familes do nothing for them, even the kids in the states. I realize this is not the norm but not all Dominicans look after their old family members.

You rent to your own husband? And maybe she isn't really your niece, just a girlfriend of his.. look out!!

/sarcasm

 

[sayanora]

You get money from the State for only two years or so (depends on the State).

It is a good tradition that the Latin families have of the grandmothers helping with the kids and all.

But they are raised with the expectation.

UStaters are not, for the most part.

Most retirees have as a life goal that they will NOT be a burden to their children. It is the elders generally who make the plans to go to retirement homes - which are traditionally for the wealthy - from $2000 to $6000 a month which is not so cheap. And most do not anticipate living with their grown children who are usually also raising children. Call it self reliance.

Only now in the States am I hearing and seeing parents who expect that their kids will not find a job - or a living wage job= and anticipate that the kids will be coming home to live.

Just to clear up the idea that elders are "shipped away" - most of them PLAN for years on how they will be cared for for their final years

As the economy shifts more towards a "developing" economy , (which is happening), you will see this entire system change. Credit is no longer available where it once was to keep grandma in a rest home, and now she has no retirement fund or savings to speak of. Mark my words when I say, people all over the world are going to be taking care of their elders, whether they like it or not.

I, for one, feel very comforted knowing in my elder years I will have my kids/grandchildren at my wife's side. Being a man and raised in the US I don't really care much for having someone to take care of me when I'm old. But knowing my wife will have people by her side and hopefully me also makes me feel very comforted.

 

[bob saunders]

You rent to your own husband? And maybe she isn't really your niece, just a girlfriend of his.. look out!!

/sarcasm

Sorry, for those like yourself with limited ability to figure out context. My niece and her husband, as well as her two children. Feel better.

 

[beastwood]

There is no comparason between the US and the DR...family life in America has strayed dramitically as the decades progressed thru the 1900s to present day. My mom died at 92 in a Boston area rest home where her assets limited as they were, were being eaten at 11k a month. I and my siblings will always regret her final, sucky existence in her final years...but I am not sure how we could of ever had her live with us or what we could have done differently. Culture, work neccessities and indeed erroding family values are the cause.

Contrast with my wife's grandpapis 90 th birthday party in villa mella last november. It was held in the street outside his home, adjacent to my sister in laws house, 5 minutes from my wifes families house. 2 dozen or so family members and another 20 or more barrio folks all ripping it up in celebration. I have pics of the birthday boy dancing his aged arse off in a bevy of 6 25 to 40 year old women....he was like a teenager, and the women genuinly enjoyed flirting this old guy's merrengue moves back up to form, the way only dominicans can. There was love, respect, and fun for all ages invloved.

So, plan and save for 11k a month in a lonely hell, or plan for assimilation into a dominican barrio family retirement, should I be so lucky??
Not much of a dilemma. It takes a viliage....not necc one's life savings.

 

[monfongo]

My wifes mother supports 2 daughters and five grand kids, she ccan afford it only because her husband gets a pension from the US, when she's gone they'll all be screwed.

 

[JohnnyBoy]

Economics plays a factor and so does society. My father and granmother were from Italy. My Nona (RIP) lived next door to us and helped my mother raise her six children. She was dearly loved and died in the home with her daughter in law and grandkids holding her hand. Right here in the USA. My mother was born here and she took care of my granmothers medicines doctors appointments etc. So for those of you who claim the in the USA people dont respect their elders speak from your own experiences.

My mother is an active retiree and my sisters are all begging her to come live with them and she is determined to live on her own. Part of it is she doesnt want to interfere with her children and thier spouses the other part is she raised her kids and wants to be free to go on cruises and travel. Many families here in the states take their parents to live with them. Usually if the parents dont have to they dont want to. There are people who dont care about their parents in all cultures. There are also people who love them. In the DR it is more of a norm but that has more to do with economics than choice. Frankly I think if a person can afford to not live with their children they would not choose to.

 

[sayanora]

Sorry, for those like yourself with limited ability to figure out context. My niece and her husband, as well as her two children. Feel better.

The /sarcasm at the end was implying that I knew the mistake you made, just thought it was funny. Also, with a name like bob saunders, I would assume you could communicate properly in English.