Experience..

[wolfdiablo]

Thanks Miguel

Some of us can be very harsh, me being one of the leaders, but the bottom line is that it frustrates some of us when people, male or female, leave their common senses at home. Some learn some don't. That's life, I guess.

Thanks for your post Miguel. The point I would like to make is that I don't think we leave our common sense at home. I think that we believe that people are essentially good until we find out different. When a girl is treated great by a resort worker, why should she question his sincerity? (prior to knowing about "sankieism") We base our opinions of people on how they treat us. I, for one, do not want to live my life being skeptical of any guy who is ever nice to me. However, I will never turn a blind eye to behaviour that suggests otherwise. Then, I am quick to judge.

 

[Becky12082]

I just wanted to say that my original question wasn't based on any "relationship." There is no relationship, there won't be a future relationship b/c we live thousands of miles away, and have very different lives. I was just curious as to what people's stories were, good or bad. I'm honestly glad to hear the bad stuff b/c it gives me better insight as to what to be careful for next time I'm on vacation. I'm not some girl that went down there and fell in love, I went and had fun. Scandalous is scandalous no matter where in the world you are.

 

[Becky12082]

Thanks for your post Miguel. The point I would like to make is that I don't think we leave our common sense at home. I think that we believe that people are essentially good until we find out different. When a girl is treated great by a resort worker, why should she question his sincerity? (prior to knowing about "sankieism") We base our opinions of people on how they treat us. I, for one, do not want to live my life being skeptical of any guy who is ever nice to me. However, I will never turn a blind eye to behaviour that suggests otherwise. Then, I am quick to judge.

I totally agree with you. That is why it was left at a kiss, and nothing more. There was never talk of "Please call me, I'll miss you, I like you etc" Just adios, and have a good life.

 

[carina]

I?d say

many ( not all ) do leave their common sense at home.

This is not something that is special for DR...

Wolfdiablo you make it sound like "Sankisim" is something people see and hear about for the first time in their lives when coming here for a vacation.

This way of seducing women ( or women seducing men ) is old as the street, here we call them sankies/sankiettes...
and it is more obvious here as it usually is resortworkers ( but sankies can be found in other areas too ), and common sense would say to you that the resortworker would probably not be doing this for the first time.

Same procedure, but not with the goal of a visa to Canada or elsewhere, but with a goal of a better/or different lifestyle, will be found in Italy, in Greece, Canary Islands, Russia, Thailand, Phillipines, French Riviera etc etc etc.
It is nothing new just because it is the Dominican Republic.

If a person reads newspapers, have a general knowlegde about life, might have travelled before somewhere, then it is obvious what the deal is about. Cause it is a deal.

In any other deal you would use common sense, it would be needed here too.
And common sense is free.

 

[miguel]

Ok!

I just wanted to say that my original question wasn't based on any "relationship." There is no relationship, there won't be a future relationship b/c we live thousands of miles away, and have very different lives. I was just curious as to what people's stories were, good or bad. I'm honestly glad to hear the bad stuff b/c it gives me better insight as to what to be careful for next time I'm on vacation. I'm not some girl that went down there and fell in love, I went and had fun. Scandalous is scandalous no matter where in the world you are.

Listen, it does not cost anything to use common sense or "count your steps" (be cautious). If I am approached by a resort worker here in the US, I would act the same way as if I was approached by a resort worker in the DR. Plain and simple.

Some of us need to understand that depending on what kind of relationship a person is looking for, being with a sankie/sankiette, or whomever you want to be with, is not a bad thing as long as you protect yourself and see it for what it is: FUN. If you are grownup and just want to have fun and leave it at that, who cares if you bed the whole annimation team. Just don't come here saying that you found "the best thing that God created". There's a reason why resort workers have a very bad reputation.

Lets not forget that there are many "professional" foreigners. These people would only take vacation for the only purpose of bedding resort workers. That's all they do when on vacation. Some get hooked and some just forget about the sankie/sankiette until they go back to the DR.

When I say common sense, I am talking about those that bed these "things" within a few hours, come back home, leave their husbands and end up supporting them and then moving back to the DR to be with them only to find that they have 30 different girls on the "waiting list".

Now, if you are looking for a serious relationship, IMO, the last place that one should look for it is at a resort. True, even relationhsips formed out of the resort can fail, but the percentage to NOT WORK is much greater if with a person from a resort.

Ps:Becky, in case you don't realize it, by you just kissing him and giving him your phone number you are letting your "door" open for him to "plant THAT seed".

 

[jackquontee]

I'm not quite sure if I should address this or not, but here goes. Carina, I want to piggy back on your comments for a moment because they were going through my mind as I read through this thread and came upon them.

Whether anyone/everyone is going to admit it or not, we have all been victims, at some point in our lives, when it comes to matters of the heart. Generally, here in America we call them "committed relationships" (sounds better), and in the DR they are referred to as "sankies/sankiettes. On one hand I can understand the frustration that people feel when trying to "protect" someone from themselves. I suspect it's the same frustration someone else, or even ourselves, felt when they/we tried to talk us out of "making a mistake" by continuing in a relationship that they/we felt was no good for us. But, we continued on with it anyway until we were finally hurt enough that we had to move on just to save ourselves. Until then, we don't want to hear what people have to say. We want people to say what we want to hear.

I am a firm believer that most people have to learn for themselves. Eventually, they come around, and then come back around.

 

[carina]

I'm not quite sure if I should address this or not, but here goes. Carina, I want to piggy back on your comments for a moment because they were going through my mind as I read through this thread and came upon them.

Whether anyone/everyone is going to admit it or not, we have all been victims, at some point in our lives, when it comes to matters of the heart. Generally, here in America we call them "committed relationships" (sounds better), and in the DR they are referred to as "sankies/sankiettes. On one hand I can understand the frustration that people feel when trying to "protect" someone from themselves. I suspect it's the same frustration someone else, or even ourselves, felt when they/we tried to talk us out of "making a mistake" by continuing in a relationship that they/we felt was no good for us. But, we continued on with it anyway until we were finally hurt enough that we had to move on just to save ourselves. Until then, we don't want to hear what people have to say. We want people to say what we want to hear.

I am a firm believer that most people have to learn for themselves. Eventually, they come around, and then come back around.

But this changes nothing.
If you are here on vacation, as Miquel wrote, and want to have some fun.
Fine, you know what you are doing, and you are having fun.

But if you are here on vacation, fall in love with a sankie, break up your life, send money etc etc as previous posters wrote ( Planner, Chris etc ), it is no longer fun. It is not even a relationship, not from both sides.
The persons falling for the sankies does it with a weight of love that is hard to understand, they are in most cases not trying to get out of something.
Before falling, there are things to learn about this.
Here is where you need common sense.
If you suspect your new love ( how can it even be love after a week? ) is
a sankie, he most surely is a sankie.

I see this daily, I hear about this daily... all I need to do is go out in town, or visit any of my clients in Playa Dorada.

The DR1 messageboard consists of a number of persons, many who visit the island often, many who lives here, other who are planning to live or to visit the island. For any question you will ask, you will get several advices, possibly different too, as we are all different persons.
But you will get honesty, even if that shoe won?t fit you at that time.

 

[wolfdiablo]

I think that the Dominican Republic is a special place. The people are so alive and seem to embrace life to the fullest. I admire that. I think the energy of Dominicans, that lively spirit they have, draws you to them. I am not only speaking of resort workers but I think that is a part of their charm as well.

 

[Chris]

For the love of God, there is a way of being useful in giving advice in this forum that does not have to include being callous or unkind. Is that such a hard concept to get? People have been ridiculed here time and time again and I think it is absolutely despicable.

Wolf

In this case, and from experience, I would say in most instances, there is not a kind way. If there was, I would follow it. In fact, I did, until the 2nd wreck of a human being came my way and I figured out that there is a pattern here.

Let me ask you (kindly and with no malice or callousness)...
Have you sat and spoken to a professional sankie and heard how he goes about doing his business? Bragging about the conquests? About the money? The callousness will curl the hair on your toes..
Have you had occasion to patch together a person that has been through a sankie's routine? It will break your heart.

 

[AnnaC]

I think that the Dominican Republic is a special place. The people are so alive and seem to embrace life to the fullest. I admire that. I think the energy of Dominicans, that lively spirit they have, draws you to them.

You are absolutely right but those people are not called sankies, those people are Dominicans.

Sankies are users and abusers of lonely women that fall for the attention that they don't get back home and they sure know it. If you leave the resort and go into a big city where you are not special you will meet friendly and wonderful people that don't act and talk like sankies.

We've said this how many time as well? Don't get it confused, what members say about sankies does not apply for all Dominicas. It's up you each of you to figure out which is which.


Honest Dominicans will not try to "qualify the buyer". Meaning asking certain questions to size up if you can be had.

 

[jackquontee]

Carina, my comments were not meant to criticize your own, but to acknowledge the truth in them, at least as I see it. That is why I said in my original post that I wanted to "piggy back" on your comments. In other words, I wanted to add to what you said.

I'd also like to address your additional comments:

"But if you are here on vacation, fall in love with a sankie, break up your life, send money etc etc as previous posters wrote ( Planner, Chris etc ), it is no longer fun. It is not even a relationship, not from both sides."

True. But, you could stay home, as opposed to going on vacation; fall in love with a "player", as opposed to a sanky; break up your life; spend money, as opposed to send money; and it no longer becomes fun. Hence, it is no longer a relationship, and it is not from both sides in this case either.

In any event, this type of behavior is not exclusive to the men/women of the DR. It can be found anywhere in the world, as I believe someone else may have stated in another post in this thread.

My point is that these incidences of men/women who travel to the DR and find themselves entrenched in this type of quagmire are the same type of men/women who go to the local club here in the states, and elsewhere, and find themselves in the same situation. And, the fact of the matter is that we have all been that victim at some point in our lives. So, I don't quite understand the level of frustration that people reach sometimes, when we, ourselves, have been the cause of that same frustration to others as a result of letting our hearts dictate our thinking. The best educator is experience. I think it's great when people try to warn others of potential problems and pitfalls. However, if the person either chooses not to take heed to those warnings, or is incapable of doing so, they may very well have to learn the hard way.

I certainly believe that people ought to offer whatever information they can provide when someone asks for it. After all, the person is asking for it, right? I guess I just don't understand the frustration associated with doing so.

Anyway, I'm on my way to PC this morning, and hope to see you in a few weeks in POP. Take care all.

 

[mofi]

Thanks for your post Miguel. The point I would like to make is that I don't think we leave our common sense at home. I think that we believe that people are essentially good until we find out different. When a girl is treated great by a resort worker, why should she question his sincerity? (prior to knowing about "sankieism") We base our opinions of people on how they treat us. I, for one, do not want to live my life being skeptical of any guy who is ever nice to me. However, I will never turn a blind eye to behaviour that suggests otherwise. Then, I am quick to judge.

I disagree, people go on vacation and they do leave there common sense at home. If you had a 1 night stand at home would you be calling the guy/girl, emailing the guy every other day and thinking about him non stop.....doubtful. Would you give money to a guy or girl at home that you've only known a week??? not likely, so in that sense they are leaving there common sense at home.
Yes you should believe people are nice, but the truth is people should earn your respect and earn your trust not start outwith it and then break it all down.

 

[mofi]

But this changes nothing.
If you are here on vacation, as Miquel wrote, and want to have some fun.
Fine, you know what you are doing, and you are having fun.

But if you are here on vacation, fall in love with a sankie, break up your life, send money etc etc as previous posters wrote ( Planner, Chris etc ), it is no longer fun. It is not even a relationship, not from both sides.
The persons falling for the sankies does it with a weight of love that is hard to understand, they are in most cases not trying to get out of something.
Before falling, there are things to learn about this.
Here is where you need common sense.
If you suspect your new love ( how can it even be love after a week? ) is
a sankie, he most surely is a sankie.

I see this daily, I hear about this daily... all I need to do is go out in town, or visit any of my clients in Playa Dorada.

The DR1 messageboard consists of a number of persons, many who visit the island often, many who lives here, other who are planning to live or to visit the island. For any question you will ask, you will get several advices, possibly different too, as we are all different persons.
But you will get honesty, even if that shoe won?t fit you at that time.

The person who falls for the sankie/sankiette isn't doing it for love, they are doing it for lust...... Lust is often mistaken for love and vise versa,.

 

[carina]

The person who falls for the sankie/sankiette isn't doing it for love, they are doing it for lust...... Lust is often mistaken for love and vise versa,.

Lust yes.... and to feel loved, to feel swept away from the ground...
This is not a reality.
It?s a stage set with a tropical scenery, where you can afford to be generous even financially. And the person is the "star" once upon a time.
This is simply and plain a deal from the sankie/sankiettes point of view.
And this deal does not end just because the person is ending the vacation.
It goes on and on as much, as long and as deep as the pockets allow.

That?s why I mean common sense is not brought in the bagage when going on vacation.

There is a song where the lyrics goes " Now, I have a mind, but I put it on vacation...."

 

[carina]

I think that the Dominican Republic is a special place. The people are so alive and seem to embrace life to the fullest. I admire that. I think the energy of Dominicans, that lively spirit they have, draws you to them. I am not only speaking of resort workers but I think that is a part of their charm as well.

The Dominican Republic is a very special place.
To me so special, that I desided to make it my home several years ago.
And the Dominican people are the most generous people to be found, down to earth, they can do everything with nothing, they live the moment and they
are generally very proud of their friends and their families. There are strong bonds here, so strong you can feel them when spending an evening in a Dominican house. Going to the countryside it is even more obvious.

But this is Dominicans. It does not apply for the methods the sankies use in their "profession" gaining money out of naive people.
This method is, as I wrote, old as the street.
Travel somewhere else, and you will say the same about the lovely men
sweaping you away in Greece, in Spain, in Italy...

Has absolutely nothing to do with the general ways of a nationality.

 

[Malibook]

That?s why I mean common sense is not brought in the bagage when going on vacation.

I'd tend to agree with this, that is, assuming there is some common sense to begin with.
The reality is that common sense often is not so common.

This must be so.
Do these people really convince themselves that although these sankies meet hundreds and even thousands of others, I am so special and I really am that irresistible?

Those who have a problem with reality and the blunt truth should not pose the question or post on internet message boards.

 

[planner]

I think part of the problem is the illusion of paradise that has been partly created by Hollywood - no not the polster - the movie industry.

Individuals who are overstressed, going thru trauma, vulnerable etc, need to "get away".. So off they go to "paradise". Here they experience the dream, experience the movie.... They have never been treated this way, they have never had this kind of attention.... they feel special. And it is exactly what they have been yearning for. SO, why can't they be Stella in How Stella Got Her Groove Back.....???

SO, they come, leave their common sense behind, live the illusion if only for 2 weeks, return home and just want it to continue.....

If only real life was like the movies.... IT is sad to me to see people, used, abused, have their hopes dashed, their illusions shattered!!!

Some of us here have a hard time sitting back and watching it happen, time and time and time again!!!! So we speak out. YOu may not like our style (I hope you like mine) but the message is very real and very true.

 

[drloca]

Well, everyone likes to think they are "special" but conquering a sankie is effortless!!! You'll be lucky if they remember your name the next morning!!! And to those who think theirs are "different", they are not...not saying specifically about all animacion being sankies but you cant change the nature of the beast! I agree that some long-distance relationships do work out but that seems to be more the exception than the rule. These sankies are well versed in their game and know all the right lines that young (and not so young) naive tourists want to hear...but theses lines are being used on a daily basis to other unsuspecting tourists who get caught in this trap soooo easily. Once you have a trained eye, it is quite comical to watch these stories unfold. If fun on vacation is all you are after, then let it go and go home and get on with your life...if you choose to return to DR in the future, you will always have the opportunity to get your hands on a sankie...remember, it is part of a sankies job (those who work in the resorts as sankies exist beyond the AI's)...they want to have repeat guests so it is in their best interests to say/do all the right things to you!
As for the testing, there are many guidelines for this and as far as HIV testing goes, they are not tested every 3 months...as from the test point of view, the requirement is that the person undergoing that test have at least a minimum of 3 months (but preferably 6!), without having unprotected sex!!!!!!
If these citeria are not met, one could get false-negative results, therefore useless. Nowhere is HIV testing carried out on this basis for this reason.
Each hotel chain may have different rules but most people I have spoken to in animacion say that the testing is only done initially at time of hire.
And as another poster mentioned, there are MANY STD's out there that hang around for life so ......even condoms are not 100% effective in protecting against every STD so a few minutes/nights of passion could become a nightmare!
We can all talk until we are blue in the face but some people prefer to learn the hard way!!!

 

[carina]

Lol

Well, everyone likes to think they are "special" but conquering a sankie is effortless!!! You'll be lucky if they remember your name the next morning!!!

drloca... they don?t need to remember a name... to the woman it is constantly "mi amor", among sankiefriends its "la gringa" etc...
You are right spot on!
But unfortunately the info and comments provided on this messageboard is considered to go for others, it is not for the specific person that asks something.. her sankie love is different.

Once and for all, the only different with a sankie is the "objects" that differs from day to day or week to week. :tired:

 

[Chirimoya]

did somebody mention Stella?

I think part of the problem is the illusion of paradise that has been partly created by Hollywood - no not the polster - the movie industry.

Individuals who are overstressed, going thru trauma, vulnerable etc, need to "get away".. So off they go to "paradise". Here they experience the dream, experience the movie.... They have never been treated this way, they have never had this kind of attention.... they feel special. And it is exactly what they have been yearning for. SO, why can't they be Stella in How Stella Got Her Groove Back.....???

SO, they come, leave their common sense behind, live the illusion if only for 2 weeks, return home and just want it to continue.....

If only real life was like the movies.... IT is sad to me to see people, used, abused, have their hopes dashed, their illusions shattered!!!

Some of us here have a hard time sitting back and watching it happen, time and time and time again!!!! So we speak out. YOu may not like our style (I hope you like mine) but the message is very real and very true.

If only it was, indeed.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/06/26/BAGTQDF4S01.DTL