A century of living on this earth .... amazing!....the overwhelming majority of folks that have ever lived on earth can't say that....my mom will hit that mark next year....
- Thread starter william webster
- Start date
GETTING OLD HERE...GOOD STUFF
A century of living on this earth .... amazing!....the overwhelming majority of folks that have ever lived on earth can't say that....my mom will hit that mark next year....
It takes a special person to give care to the elderly and actually mean it. In the case of my mother I pray I don't live my last years in that condition. 5 years practically immobile. In her last 2 years arthritis had crippled her hands so she could no longer even hold a fork, or cut her food.
I flew and visited, often staying weeks, at a time to be with my mom the past 5 years. But to see someone spend their last years as she did, not to mention the high cost, is heart & gut wrenching.
It is hard on their children. If a person dies suddenly or passes in their sleep that is the best way to go.
But we all face this someday, and many people on this forum and living in the DR, are probably retired or older and asking themselves "Will I be able to stay in the DR when old age catches up with my health ?"
Will I need more specialized medical care and need to go back to the US, Canada or Europe?
I am also worried at what age should I stop driving a car in the DR - Roadways aren't orderly like the US where most 85-year olds can still drive -
I assume I'm not alone in these thoughts.
OK so I am knocking on 70 and still 'feel 45', swim, ride a scooter, drink some adult beverages most days, lift weights and occasionally get a leg over, etc - but we all will wear out eventually. I have no biological children who will care for me or tell me I'm too old to drive or need help.
What do the children of some on this forum say about their choice to live in the DR and do the children say they should come back ?
I never gave thought to having an in-home care person (or two) and if they could be relied on and more affordable in the DR - well that would avoid paying out $400K in care, like my sister and I did for my mom.
And Caonabo is right - when a person's money runs out (and that of the children too) - care facilities stop 'caring'. Medicaid in the US will pay if the family is indigent - but I suspect they are a pain to deal with and get approved.
I flew and visited, often staying weeks, at a time to be with my mom the past 5 years. But to see someone spend their last years as she did, not to mention the high cost, is heart & gut wrenching.
It is hard on their children. If a person dies suddenly or passes in their sleep that is the best way to go.
But we all face this someday, and many people on this forum and living in the DR, are probably retired or older and asking themselves "Will I be able to stay in the DR when old age catches up with my health ?"
Will I need more specialized medical care and need to go back to the US, Canada or Europe?
I am also worried at what age should I stop driving a car in the DR - Roadways aren't orderly like the US where most 85-year olds can still drive -
I assume I'm not alone in these thoughts.
OK so I am knocking on 70 and still 'feel 45', swim, ride a scooter, drink some adult beverages most days, lift weights and occasionally get a leg over, etc - but we all will wear out eventually. I have no biological children who will care for me or tell me I'm too old to drive or need help.
What do the children of some on this forum say about their choice to live in the DR and do the children say they should come back ?
I never gave thought to having an in-home care person (or two) and if they could be relied on and more affordable in the DR - well that would avoid paying out $400K in care, like my sister and I did for my mom.
And Caonabo is right - when a person's money runs out (and that of the children too) - care facilities stop 'caring'. Medicaid in the US will pay if the family is indigent - but I suspect they are a pain to deal with and get approved.
Agreed - living the last years in misery is a daunting thought.
I have, my mother had, the DNR clause in the will... Do Not Resuscitate.....
Don't prolong life.... as doctors are trained to do.
When the ambulance came after my mother fell down the basement stairs (the beginning of the end) that was the 1st question they asked me -
Does she have a DNR clause ?
Then the nurses grill you about what you mean by that-
Pain - no, fix pain
IV - no, no IV
Food - put it in front of her, if she eats it , fine... don't feed her
Water - yes, hydrate her
That sort of thing - Not a fun chat looking at a comatose parent
But very necessary to carry out their wishes
Saddens me to think about it...
I have, my mother had, the DNR clause in the will... Do Not Resuscitate.....
Don't prolong life.... as doctors are trained to do.
When the ambulance came after my mother fell down the basement stairs (the beginning of the end) that was the 1st question they asked me -
Does she have a DNR clause ?
Then the nurses grill you about what you mean by that-
Pain - no, fix pain
IV - no, no IV
Food - put it in front of her, if she eats it , fine... don't feed her
Water - yes, hydrate her
That sort of thing - Not a fun chat looking at a comatose parent
But very necessary to carry out their wishes
Saddens me to think about it...
How much money? I might help you?
How many marbles have you lost already?
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About 5 years they were talking about having such facility set up at Metro for foreigners but they never could get the financing for it.
Personally I think it would be a good idea.
sorry to hear of your loss, chico. been down that road, twice, and it is never easy.
I hardly ever think about that whole thing, probably far to young to, though.
ATM my thoughts lean towards my brain spreaded all over the walls the day before I need help to eat, or take a sh.it.
Count on a total stranger being paid 200$ a month to look after me or a loved one ?? Looooooool !!!!!
Get real guys.... for every 1 of you that finds a rare pearl, there will be 2 or 3 that will be lifted of all your earthly belongings.......at best.
It happens in the best of places, it is faaaaaar more likely to happen here, mainly due to wealth disparity.
IMHO the dr is not a place for a lonely elder person, I am not even sure its a place for an eldery person even with his family by his side.
My wife keeps going on about how we will bring my parents over in their old age, and I am not keen, nor is mum lol ( thankfully even if dad is getting on--------76 is very, very old, even if he pretends the opposite running around, travelling, hiking, and basically living a "normal " life-------- mum is "only" 62, so she can look after for at least a decade longer
).
Health care in the dr is sh.itty at best. Yes, yes, even HOMS and co. Ambulances are not worth anything at all. There is probably 1 air-worthy medicvac at the best of times. 50 % chance that doctors daddy bought him hos diplomas......
Nope, nope, nope, not happening.
All in all if you are over 60, I hope your health is solid, and that you are a tough old fart that can still take a punch or 2, and can dish them out !!!!
ATM my thoughts lean towards my brain spreaded all over the walls the day before I need help to eat, or take a sh.it.
Count on a total stranger being paid 200$ a month to look after me or a loved one ?? Looooooool !!!!!
Get real guys.... for every 1 of you that finds a rare pearl, there will be 2 or 3 that will be lifted of all your earthly belongings.......at best.
It happens in the best of places, it is faaaaaar more likely to happen here, mainly due to wealth disparity.
IMHO the dr is not a place for a lonely elder person, I am not even sure its a place for an eldery person even with his family by his side.
My wife keeps going on about how we will bring my parents over in their old age, and I am not keen, nor is mum lol ( thankfully even if dad is getting on--------76 is very, very old, even if he pretends the opposite running around, travelling, hiking, and basically living a "normal " life-------- mum is "only" 62, so she can look after for at least a decade longer
).Health care in the dr is sh.itty at best. Yes, yes, even HOMS and co. Ambulances are not worth anything at all. There is probably 1 air-worthy medicvac at the best of times. 50 % chance that doctors daddy bought him hos diplomas......
Nope, nope, nope, not happening.
All in all if you are over 60, I hope your health is solid, and that you are a tough old fart that can still take a punch or 2, and can dish them out !!!!
A little balance for the pessimism prevalent in this thread about care for the elderly in the DR. I closed my business, sold my house and retired in California to bring my mother back to the DR .She is 95 and suffers from Alzheimers; three of her sisters have already died from it and the one remaining is in a mental institution back in the US. I came here in June and spent four months preparing for her arrival: obtained a cedula, opened bank accounts, rented a house and spent money and time getting to know people. I interviewed and rejected quite a few applicants interested in providing 24hr. in-home care for her and eventually hired two sisters for the job. They both have experience caring for foreigners and Dominicans and treat my mother as their own. My sister and I felt that the longer my mother stayed in a normal environment, not an institution, the better her quality of life would be. It's been two months
I am old enough to be thinking about it but am not mature enough to have started the process. The DR seems like a good place to live out my last years as normally as possible. My advice would be to always be on the lookout for good human beings and when the time comes, overpay them and to always be worth more money to them the longer you stay alive.
In my situation there will be no obvious heirs to leave any remaining assets, so I would have no problem leaving my estate to my caregivers. I would, however, never let them know that part of the plan.
In my situation there will be no obvious heirs to leave any remaining assets, so I would have no problem leaving my estate to my caregivers. I would, however, never let them know that part of the plan.
I was prepared for the scorching ... doesn’t bother me. I like my plan.
Malko is still younger if I’m right.
These things don’t grab you until further along or illness strikes , or both.
Even my wife who bores quickly here, has decided that the care is good.
Slowmo, our recently departed friend is in exactly your shoes and is doing the same thing.... kipling123
A lawyer can arrange it all
...when thru alzheimers with my mother 4 years ago...very sad thing,she lived to long after she had forgotten everything....one day I was visiting my father and mother, she looked at my father when I came in the house and asked my father who I was....The hard part was watching my father go thru her sickness(she was 98 when she died) my father turned 100 this year, lives in the same house I grew up in,with the help of my sister and her husband...hope you have a better time with this illness than some of my family did with my mother...my parents were married over 70 years.........Doc.........
As long as there is strict family supervision of the care and the typical Dominican stuff ie locked bathrooms, drawers, freezers pantries etc then great adult care can be facilitated at a very reasonable rate
Being alone and trusting someone who makes 10 k pesos a month to take care of you and look after your interests is foolhardy at best.
Being alone and trusting someone who makes 10 k pesos a month to take care of you and look after your interests is foolhardy at best.
I have heard horror stories from elderly care facilities in the USA & Canada
Always a risk.... weigh the choices
Always a risk.... weigh the choices
I hardly ever think about that whole thing, probably far to young to, though.
ATM my thoughts lean towards my brain spreaded all over the walls the day before I need help to eat, or take a sh.it.
Count on a total stranger being paid 200$ a month to look after me or a loved one ?? Looooooool !!!!!
Get real guys.... for every 1 of you that finds a rare pearl, there will be 2 or 3 that will be lifted of all your earthly belongings.......at best.
It happens in the best of places, it is faaaaaar more likely to happen here, mainly due to wealth disparity.
IMHO the dr is not a place for a lonely elder person, I am not even sure its a place for an eldery person even with his family by his side.
My wife keeps going on about how we will bring my parents over in their old age, and I am not keen, nor is mum lol ( thankfully even if dad is getting on--------76 is very, very old, even if he pretends the opposite running around, travelling, hiking, and basically living a "normal " life-------- mum is "only" 62, so she can look after for at least a decade longer
Health care in the dr is sh.itty at best. Yes, yes, even HOMS and co. Ambulances are not worth anything at all. There is probably 1 air-worthy medicvac at the best of times. 50 % chance that doctors daddy bought him hos diplomas......
Nope, nope, nope, not happening.
All in all if you are over 60, I hope your health is solid, and that you are a tough old fart that can still take a punch or 2, and can dish them out !!!!
Your views are similar to mine. When it gets to a point where I have to wear diapers, I will check out. But I wouldn't blow my brains out (too messy). Helium is painless and you can buy it at the local party store. The Hemlock Society website has more on this.
I like DR as an escape destination. I can get a better quality of life here in USA.
One thing you learn when parents get older and need care is who in your family steps up.
My older sister & I spent over $400K for my mom's care as I noted before. My 2nd sister (my twin) spent $0.00 even though she is in as good of financial shape as I am. My other sister is wealthy so the expense was easier for her to split. So the two of us bore the cost and didn't complain, it had to be done.
I also flew and divided time with my older sister to be near my mom's side while she was in assisted living, despite living a very long distance away. (Those who live in those assisted living places are often abandoned by their children - I saw that first hand). My twin sister spent no more than 2 days a year visiting my mother during the past 5 years of her life despite living only 3 hours away. At least she showed up for the 100th birthday party.
At this point I have decided to continue to stay in touch with my older sister but have decided my twin sister is not the kind of person I need or want in my life,
maybe someday I will mellow - naw I doubt that.
My older sister & I spent over $400K for my mom's care as I noted before. My 2nd sister (my twin) spent $0.00 even though she is in as good of financial shape as I am. My other sister is wealthy so the expense was easier for her to split. So the two of us bore the cost and didn't complain, it had to be done.
I also flew and divided time with my older sister to be near my mom's side while she was in assisted living, despite living a very long distance away. (Those who live in those assisted living places are often abandoned by their children - I saw that first hand). My twin sister spent no more than 2 days a year visiting my mother during the past 5 years of her life despite living only 3 hours away. At least she showed up for the 100th birthday party.
At this point I have decided to continue to stay in touch with my older sister but have decided my twin sister is not the kind of person I need or want in my life,
maybe someday I will mellow - naw I doubt that.
