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A little story I read and never forgot
it's about a poisonous snake. It's an imaginary story but the message is loud and clear
A women found a severely wounded snake by the side of the road.
He said to her, please help me.
But if I pick you up you will bite me and I will die said the lady.
No said the snake, how could I bite the person that saves my life.
So the lady felt sorry for the snake and took it home. She fed it, nursed it back to health. When the snake was back to it's normal self he one day bite her as she reached down to feed it.
As she's dying she said. How could you do that to me? I saved you for the street, I fed and nursed you back to health. How could you bite me and now I'm dying?
The snake looked at her without any remorse and said.
"You knew what I was when you took me in".
Ok it might be a little extreme but you get the message.
it's about a poisonous snake. It's an imaginary story but the message is loud and clear
A women found a severely wounded snake by the side of the road.
He said to her, please help me.
But if I pick you up you will bite me and I will die said the lady.
No said the snake, how could I bite the person that saves my life.
So the lady felt sorry for the snake and took it home. She fed it, nursed it back to health. When the snake was back to it's normal self he one day bite her as she reached down to feed it.
As she's dying she said. How could you do that to me? I saved you for the street, I fed and nursed you back to health. How could you bite me and now I'm dying?
The snake looked at her without any remorse and said.
"You knew what I was when you took me in".
Ok it might be a little extreme but you get the message.
jruane44 said:
In order to be played, I would have to be stupid or naive enough to allow it to happen in the first place. As far as being a lowlife, I dont think he is much different than my friends who are less that honest lawyers or car mechanics. As I said, I blame them for being stupid enough to fall for his tricks.
But fall in love? Won't happen. As much as I like his friendship, I have no interest in visiting the free clinic after going where a thousand women have gone before.
I'm working now but will elaborate more later. I just wanted to finally say whats been on my mind so that these girls who wonder about their sankies can get a different POV.
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects
Keep telling yourself that you can't be played and you WILL be played. Cut this guy off. Don't make him an enemy...that would be worse...say hello when you see him...but do not socialize with him. There is no upside to socializing with scumbags whether they be sankies, lawyers or mechanics. By giving the latter examples you are supporting our argument. NO scumbag is good to associate with.
You're a big girl. You can do whatever you want. But the people on DR1 have never steered you wrong before.
"And then....just like that...<poof>...he's gone."
Scandall
Keep telling yourself that you can't be played and you WILL be played. Cut this guy off. Don't make him an enemy...that would be worse...say hello when you see him...but do not socialize with him. There is no upside to socializing with scumbags whether they be sankies, lawyers or mechanics. By giving the latter examples you are supporting our argument. NO scumbag is good to associate with.
You're a big girl. You can do whatever you want. But the people on DR1 have never steered you wrong before.
"And then....just like that...<poof>...he's gone."
Scandall
Larry said:Sunnie, as far as warning women about sankies, forget it. There are plenty of women who would read your post and then head straight down there. Some women just love to be abused.
As far as you go Sunnie, I think you are an intelligent girl but you have two obstacles to overcome; youth and naivete. I agree with all of the responses you recieved. Why did you make this guy your friend? Is it out of curiosity, facination? I can understand that but I would never call someone like that my friend. This guy is a scumbag. His charicteristics will eventually show. He will never be a true friend. He is, by nature, a parasite.
I am only about 10 or 12 years older than you but I have learned how to pick and choose my friends over time. I believe in surrounding myself with positive people; people who I respect and trust. People who I know would be there for me if I need them and who I would bend over backward for if they needed my help. I have found a few of them on this board. I noticed that you have begun associating with a few of my 'friends'. Do yourself a favor an stick with them.
Oh, and that thing Planner said about people judging you by who you associate with......that's so true.
I hope you can appreciate my blunt response. It is only meant as good advice.
See ya on the north coast
Larry
Thanks for the candor Larry, I appreciate your advice very much. But the frustrating thing for me here is this - no matter who I choose as a friend, somebody always has a reason that they think I should not associate with them. Doesn't matter if it is a local, a sankie, an expat, an alien or whomever. Someone always has a compelling reason why I should not associate with other people. I've had a lot of people tell me to stay away from most of the people on this board even. Kind of like the old saying goes about being damned if you do and damned if you dont.
I knew this post would get me in trouble but it's not the first time and I doubt it's the last.
See ya around Larry! You're a sweetheart
Sunnie, excellent post. It takes a lot to put your self out in a public forum, especially one like DR1.
I agree with most of the responses, especially Planner who essentially says "You are known by the company you keep". I am a little saddened that have chosen as one of your "best friends" someone whose life is based on deception and gets joy from bragging about his deception.
I also agree with others who said "be careful, he may be playing you".
The only postings I disagree with is the ones that say "A leopard cannot change his spots". There have been many postings on DR1where they have changed their spots. Some players get tired of playing and eventually settle down. Some don't.
I agree with most of the responses, especially Planner who essentially says "You are known by the company you keep". I am a little saddened that have chosen as one of your "best friends" someone whose life is based on deception and gets joy from bragging about his deception.
I also agree with others who said "be careful, he may be playing you".
The only postings I disagree with is the ones that say "A leopard cannot change his spots". There have been many postings on DR1where they have changed their spots. Some players get tired of playing and eventually settle down. Some don't.
sunshine_79 said:
Sunnie - don't be so naive!!!! Smart people get played ALL THE TIME.
I can sympathise with your story, I tend to see the good in people no matter how bad they are too, but if you really want to have a good time, come hang out with me, I wont drag your reputation through the mud by association.
The profession of 'sankie' is just the same as the profession of 'whore' down here - it's the same thing, these people sell themselves for money. Just as you wouldn't want to be associated with a whore in the states, you shouldn't associate yourself with one here, in fact, less so here because reputation means so much more in Dominican society. Now, if you want to spend the rest of your life hanging out with these people and think what they do is fine, then by all means, you have that choice too, it would just be a shame to see someone as bright as you do that, especially with your little one to consider ..... have you seen how most of these sankies treat their kids? If they even acknowlegde them at all that is. Most times the clothing/accessories associated with being a successful sankie comes before milk or food for the kiddo. Think about that.
sunshine_79 said:
Why do you have less-than-honest friends in the first place?! Don't you know that there are HONEST people out there??? And how does this reflect on you Sunnie?
Doesn't that last statment go for you too ..... you're stupid enough to have these people as friends?? Are you not falling for the trick too by thinking what they do is ok??sunshine_79 said:
No offense meant by anything I wrote here - I'm sure it seems harsh but it's meant to make you think. After meeting you at the July Bash I really do think you're a bright person both inside and out, this is a plea to you, THINK!!!! I'm sure that if you do your mind will change itself on this issue.
Stay well,
Amy
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Holly macro-sankie ,Batman..this guy?s good !!!
Sunny, this guy is playing you like George Benson plays his guitar; nice and slow !!!!.
You desperately try to tell your audience that you are in control of the situation with this guy, and that he will NEVER take advantage of you because you know is MO with other girls. But, the question is?Do you know his MO with you ?. You might not be aware, but this guy had put his moves on you long before you thought he was a ?nice guy?.
He has told you all his moves those girls, and you are on guard regarding those moves.
The ones you do not know are the ones that will later on seduce you.
Please be careful?
sunshine_79 said:
sunshine_79 said:
sunshine_79 said:
sunshine_79 said:
Sunny, this guy is playing you like George Benson plays his guitar; nice and slow !!!!.
You desperately try to tell your audience that you are in control of the situation with this guy, and that he will NEVER take advantage of you because you know is MO with other girls. But, the question is?Do you know his MO with you ?. You might not be aware, but this guy had put his moves on you long before you thought he was a ?nice guy?.
He has told you all his moves those girls, and you are on guard regarding those moves.
The ones you do not know are the ones that will later on seduce you.
Please be careful?
I?m glad that this thread generated so many responses, I was hoping it would. As I said, I?ve read a lot of the thoughts and questions that so many of these girls have and thought the right thing to do would be to be honest and call it like I see it. I don?t mean this in a rude way, and those of you whom know me well will understand where I?m coming from, but I didn?t write this post so my choices could be dissected, I wrote it because I truly think that some people might benefit from the truth. By all means, give me your opinions but just remember that I?m a big girl, I?ve lived a lot in my 26 years and I?m not na?ve enough to fall for any BS. I got enough of that from my ex husband and he was a gringo. I appreciate the candor from most of you and I think it?s very nice of you to be concerned but I?ve got it under control.
I figured that I would most likely end up having to defend my position because this is a very touchy subject so I don?t have any problem with any of your views even if I don?t necessarily agree with all of them. I?m probably not as sweet of a person as a lot of you, especially Miguel, so it really doesn?t bother me that these girls are allowing themselves to be taken advantage of. I don?t feel sorry for them but it would be nice to see more lightbulbs flash once in a while. I just can?t feel bad for someone who meets someone for a week or two, sleeps with them and then starts sending money with no questions asked. That?s their fault. I don?t think it is a nice profession to be in but the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of sankies here and that is part of the country and I doubt the industry will die down anytime soon. I?m not a judgmental person and I have an open mind about a lot of things so what my friend does is his choice and it?s not my place to judge. He will have to resolve things within himself in the end, not me. So for the time being, I like hanging around with him here in PoP because I genuinely enjoy his company. As I said before, don?t we all like to be around people who make us laugh and who can carry on an intelligent conversation? And besides, there are a lot of less than scrupulous people here, that?s just a cold hard fact so who is to say that it?s okay to hang out with this person but not that one? I don?t make it a habit of spending time with people whose morals are beyond the realms of my tolerance but I can at least see the potential in my friend although I doubt he will ever reach it. He will most likely spend his life being a sankie or the equivalent and that is sad for me but it?s not my problem. It?s a big world and most of the people in it have their skeletons and do things that others don?t agree with. I wish I could change it but I can?t. I?m not saying that it makes it right but it is what it is. In the meantime, I still like the guy and what he does with his life is not my problem.
But just because the friendship is there doesn?t mean that I?m next in line to be sankified. My mama taught me better than that. It?s a matter of self respect and not having rose-colored glasses on. And if by some chance I come back to this board in a few months, crying because I got swindled then by all means, please let me have it and tell me how stupid I am. How could I not agree with you? But I know myself very well and it?s not a concern for me because I know it would never happen. I?m not saying he won?t ever try but I know damn sure that I?m not going to be a victim. If someone is trying to screw with me, I have absolutely no qualms about telling them to F off and die.
I was really hoping this thread would not take this direction because it was intended for the girls who come on this board and have questions and want to know if we know So and So who works at whatever resort. It wasn?t written for the people who live here or anyone I know, it was written for those with questions, dilemmas, whatever. And if it sounded harsh then that?s the way I intended it. My underlying message was Don?t Be Stupid.
And again, if anyone really thinks that something bad is going to happen to me then that?s fine. By all means, throw the book at me if I?m wrong but I know that won?t happen. I?m not Miss America and I don?t have an IQ of 200 but I?m quite astute at knowing myself, my intentions and everything in between. Remember, this is the same girl who was told just a few months ago that I was an idiot to even think of moving here. And now, this is the happiest I?ve ever been even though it?s a struggle most of the time. I appreciate the advice, I mean that, and I like to hear from everyone so fire away if you want to.
See ya,
Sunnie
I figured that I would most likely end up having to defend my position because this is a very touchy subject so I don?t have any problem with any of your views even if I don?t necessarily agree with all of them. I?m probably not as sweet of a person as a lot of you, especially Miguel, so it really doesn?t bother me that these girls are allowing themselves to be taken advantage of. I don?t feel sorry for them but it would be nice to see more lightbulbs flash once in a while. I just can?t feel bad for someone who meets someone for a week or two, sleeps with them and then starts sending money with no questions asked. That?s their fault. I don?t think it is a nice profession to be in but the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of sankies here and that is part of the country and I doubt the industry will die down anytime soon. I?m not a judgmental person and I have an open mind about a lot of things so what my friend does is his choice and it?s not my place to judge. He will have to resolve things within himself in the end, not me. So for the time being, I like hanging around with him here in PoP because I genuinely enjoy his company. As I said before, don?t we all like to be around people who make us laugh and who can carry on an intelligent conversation? And besides, there are a lot of less than scrupulous people here, that?s just a cold hard fact so who is to say that it?s okay to hang out with this person but not that one? I don?t make it a habit of spending time with people whose morals are beyond the realms of my tolerance but I can at least see the potential in my friend although I doubt he will ever reach it. He will most likely spend his life being a sankie or the equivalent and that is sad for me but it?s not my problem. It?s a big world and most of the people in it have their skeletons and do things that others don?t agree with. I wish I could change it but I can?t. I?m not saying that it makes it right but it is what it is. In the meantime, I still like the guy and what he does with his life is not my problem.
But just because the friendship is there doesn?t mean that I?m next in line to be sankified. My mama taught me better than that. It?s a matter of self respect and not having rose-colored glasses on. And if by some chance I come back to this board in a few months, crying because I got swindled then by all means, please let me have it and tell me how stupid I am. How could I not agree with you? But I know myself very well and it?s not a concern for me because I know it would never happen. I?m not saying he won?t ever try but I know damn sure that I?m not going to be a victim. If someone is trying to screw with me, I have absolutely no qualms about telling them to F off and die.
I was really hoping this thread would not take this direction because it was intended for the girls who come on this board and have questions and want to know if we know So and So who works at whatever resort. It wasn?t written for the people who live here or anyone I know, it was written for those with questions, dilemmas, whatever. And if it sounded harsh then that?s the way I intended it. My underlying message was Don?t Be Stupid.
And again, if anyone really thinks that something bad is going to happen to me then that?s fine. By all means, throw the book at me if I?m wrong but I know that won?t happen. I?m not Miss America and I don?t have an IQ of 200 but I?m quite astute at knowing myself, my intentions and everything in between. Remember, this is the same girl who was told just a few months ago that I was an idiot to even think of moving here. And now, this is the happiest I?ve ever been even though it?s a struggle most of the time. I appreciate the advice, I mean that, and I like to hear from everyone so fire away if you want to.
See ya,
Sunnie
Sunnie my respone to all of this is. If you know he's a lier and a cheater, what makes you think that hes not lying to you? Why would you pick a friend that you know upfront lives there entire life revolved around lies? Have you ever thought maybe the 100's of stories he has told you are BS? that right there is being Naive in itself, to expect he would change his ways just so he could be friends with you. Sorry but thats the logic I see in this.
mofi said:
And if he is lying to me? Oh well, it's not affecting me. I'm not giving him anything that is tangible, and I never will, so I'm not going to worry myself too much over it. And I don't expect him to change his ways, or anything, for me. It's as simple as me liking the company and having a good laugh over a Presidente on the malecon.
I only believe about half of what comes out of anyones mouth anyways. That's Dominicans, Americans, whomever. So if he's lying to me then whatever, I'll live and find a new friend. I pretty much expect everyone I talk to to have a lot of BS within just going off of past experience. It's a shame to not trust anyone but it's a defensive mechanism and it's one that has served me pretty well.
Larry said:
What - no Kahlil Gibran today? Come on Larry! :laugh:
But like I said before, it doesnt matter who I associate with here, there is always someone with a compelling reason why I shouldn't talk to them ever again. It's frustrating, ya know? I pretty much let it all roll off my back though because a person could really drive themselves crazy being relatively new here.
Sunnie I think your intentions are honourable. I too would love to see more people have their eyes opened to what is going on!
BUT, quite frankly you are doing yourself a diservice. You say you are not judgemental well maybe you should be just a little bit!!! Just because this behaviour goes on does not make it RIGHT. You condone it sweetheart. That makes you as bad as him.
I have said that you are judged by who you associate with here. That means that people here see you as either just like him or as being taken by him. Either way you are then not someone I would want to be seen associating with!
Sunnie I know very little about you. But, when you write things like this, I have almost no inclination to find out any more! I will judge you by the company you keep because I will be likewise judged. That is a fact of life that I learned here the hard way.
BUT, quite frankly you are doing yourself a diservice. You say you are not judgemental well maybe you should be just a little bit!!! Just because this behaviour goes on does not make it RIGHT. You condone it sweetheart. That makes you as bad as him.
I have said that you are judged by who you associate with here. That means that people here see you as either just like him or as being taken by him. Either way you are then not someone I would want to be seen associating with!
Sunnie I know very little about you. But, when you write things like this, I have almost no inclination to find out any more! I will judge you by the company you keep because I will be likewise judged. That is a fact of life that I learned here the hard way.
I think calling these girls stupid and laughing about it with your friend when he hangs up is being very judgemental.
I beleive you when you say that you don't pay for anything. I don't think you are in a position right now to do that. But if he is paying even one thing for you even a beer you are part of taking advantage of those so called stupid girls that are falling for his lines and this is what the posters here are trying to tell you.
Remember that these guys don't always ask for money. There's birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, valentine gifts. I miss you honey gifts. I have no cell phone to call you honey gift, if I had a camara phone you could see me all the time gift. I have no money to call you gift certificate. All these things can be turned into un-asked cash.
I know your intentions were to help these girls wake up but I also understand why the posters here are down on you.
I beleive you when you say that you don't pay for anything. I don't think you are in a position right now to do that. But if he is paying even one thing for you even a beer you are part of taking advantage of those so called stupid girls that are falling for his lines and this is what the posters here are trying to tell you.
Remember that these guys don't always ask for money. There's birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, valentine gifts. I miss you honey gifts. I have no cell phone to call you honey gift, if I had a camara phone you could see me all the time gift. I have no money to call you gift certificate. All these things can be turned into un-asked cash.
I know your intentions were to help these girls wake up but I also understand why the posters here are down on you.
At the risk of pouring more gas on this fire, in my opinion, if he is using money to buy Sunny a beer or gifts from his Sanky income, she is in essence part of the greasy Sanky Web.
I don't know you but this post leaves an impression of you and not a great one. Hanging out with a Sankie and acting like him using women is okay and that it's all there fault. That's honestly horrible and not very smart thing to say.
I can understand if your new to the county and trying to make friends. But if you think it's a great friend and don't understand that being a Sankie is wrong than you are as bad as him.
If I met him and learned about all the women he was using I would tell him it's wrong and I honestly couldn't hang out with him knowing that and I would not think he's a great person or consider him my friend! Have you forgetten you are a woman too, it's sad to read the stuff you have posted. For you to think it's okay what he's doing to those women, really sad and scarey that you think it's okay
I think you might be wearing those rose-colored glasses after all, please remove them for your own sake and before it's too late!!
I can understand if your new to the county and trying to make friends. But if you think it's a great friend and don't understand that being a Sankie is wrong than you are as bad as him.
If I met him and learned about all the women he was using I would tell him it's wrong and I honestly couldn't hang out with him knowing that and I would not think he's a great person or consider him my friend! Have you forgetten you are a woman too, it's sad to read the stuff you have posted. For you to think it's okay what he's doing to those women, really sad and scarey that you think it's okay
I think you might be wearing those rose-colored glasses after all, please remove them for your own sake and before it's too late!!
Sunnie, I know what you are thinking after reading these last several posts. You are thinking..... " everyone thinks I am part of some sankie web because I am friends with this guy but it is not MY fault his victums are stupid and allow themselves to be taken advantage of ". Am I right Sunnie?
NOW.... stop take a step back and look at what really is going on here. What REALLY is going on here is that your stock is dropping because of who you associate with. Remember what Planner said earlier in the thread.... who you associate with reflects strongly on you. Remember that? THAT is a concept you are dismissing and THAT is the main topic here. Whether you get "taken' by some sankie is not that important because if you get conned, it is a simple monetary loss that you can get over but once your reputation gets smeared, it is much harder to repair.
I hope you can see the picture more clearly now Sunnie.
Larry
NOW.... stop take a step back and look at what really is going on here. What REALLY is going on here is that your stock is dropping because of who you associate with. Remember what Planner said earlier in the thread.... who you associate with reflects strongly on you. Remember that? THAT is a concept you are dismissing and THAT is the main topic here. Whether you get "taken' by some sankie is not that important because if you get conned, it is a simple monetary loss that you can get over but once your reputation gets smeared, it is much harder to repair.
I hope you can see the picture more clearly now Sunnie.
Larry
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