Please Translate for me !!!! Would you consider this a harmless email!!!!

[Bouche120]

First off !!! I am not a Canadian Chick as you guys have NICELY stated! I am from America and he came from DR yes !!! But has been an American Citizen for over 10 years. He is my boyfriend and he went away to DR for a family holiday. I couldnt go because I couldnt get the time off off work. I have spoken to this women (dominican) who flat out tells me that she doent think of my boyfriend as a man but just a friend. She denied it. I also found pictures of the two of them hugging. He told me thats how his culture poses for pictures. Funny. I wonder how he would feel if I took photos with my male friends like that?????? Of course this girl would lie.

Maybe I have been making it too easy for him. But he is so demanding and persistent. He pulls a tantrum if he doesnt get his way.

I dont know spanish. I am trying really hard to pick up little words here and there. I feel completly stupid when it comes to that. I am an educated woman, going for my maters but I cant master my man. Any advice??????

 

[sunshine_79]

Maybe I have been making it too easy for him. But he is so demanding and persistent. He pulls a tantrum if he doesnt get his way.

I dont know spanish. I am trying really hard to pick up little words here and there. I feel completly stupid when it comes to that. I am an educated woman, going for my maters but I cant master my man. Any advice??????

Why on earth would you put up with a man who throws tantrums? I'm not trying to be rude but are you his girlfriend or his preschool teacher?

He's probably having little hissy fits every time he "doesn't get his way" to divert your attention from the original problem/accusation.

Either suck it up and drive on or kick his sorry ass to the curb. Your choice. But whatever you decide, don't play "victim".

 

[Stodgord]

Last time my child did this, it was time-out time.
By the way she is aggressively covering for him. I wonder how much of your hard earned money goes to her. Please do what your highly educated head is telling you. There is a spanish proverb "No hay mas ciego que el que no quiera ver",there isn't one more blind than he who don't want to see

 

[Bouche120]

I guess your right. I am not playing any kind of victim here. The only way I am a vicitm is to the language. Which is why I wanted it translated. I just wanted to know if this was a harmless email of not !!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get a Dominican persons point of view because who better to know Dominican dialect .........but a Dominican person. His tantrums yes are very childlike I know. But honestly I could deal with that. He has never been violent with me which is good but he can get nasty. What I cant deal with is cheating. I didnt know about Dominicans and that cheating is acceptable. I really didnt.

 

[Hillbilly]

I have watched this thread from its inception and I agree with Sunshine. Kick his sorry but out, and watch the shock and awe on his face.

There has to be some decent fellow available, believe me.

But, as I keep telling you gals and guys, just look where you found this "love of your life" and think how many "real"* Dominican families have you met. Answer: NONE. You meet the poorest, most uneducated, most culturally backward of the whole population. You get what you get.

I doubt very much that you would date "white trash" in the States, so why do it here? Same thing, slightly different color is all.

And the Band played on................

OH CCCCC you are so blunt!

* "Real" Dominican. I mean the educated professional types that are travelled, honest and hard working.( which does not absolutely mean that they will be any more faithful than the next guy, just more discreet...) Your guy sounds like a Dominican-York. Basically a hustler. Is he educated? Does he work a steady job? Huh? :ermm:


HB

 

[sunshine_79]

I guess your right. I am not playing any kind of victim here. The only way I am a vicitm is to the language. Which is why I wanted it translated. I just wanted to know if this was a harmless email of not !!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get a Dominican persons point of view because who better to know Dominican dialect .........but a Dominican person. His tantrums yes are very childlike I know. But honestly I could deal with that. He has never been violent with me which is good but he can get nasty. What I cant deal with is cheating. I didnt know about Dominicans and that cheating is acceptable. I really didnt.

I think you received a sufficient answer to your question regarding the nature of the email.

But if you have the need to question your man's fidelity on a message board full of people who are virtual strangers to you, then that tells me you already had your answer in the first place.

Life is too short to put up with a little wah-wah who throws tantrums and can be "nasty". Sounds like precursors to physical abuse, IMO. The emotional and mental abuse has already started as evident by your need to find out the truth and/or reassure yourself on this board.

If one of my friends wrote me an email tantamount to what your posted, I would advise: Get out before this guy hurts you/leaves you brokenhearted/insert worse case scenario here.

 

[A.J.]

why not confront him on this? or did you get this email in a way that he does not not you have access to i.e. logging on to his account without his permission?

He will throw a tantrum but you will have to stick to your guns and not give in. If he cries yells, screams and whatever just ignore him and leave the house, especially if you are not going to break up with him.

Of course the other girl will deny it - what do you expect her to say yes honey I was ____ your boyfriend - no instead she is probably making fun of you behind your back thinking she is getting over on you by messing around with your boyfriend.

 

[drminy]

Wake up to reality

I guess your right. I am not playing any kind of victim here. The only way I am a vicitm is to the language. Which is why I wanted it translated. I just wanted to know if this was a harmless email of not !!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get a Dominican persons point of view because who better to know Dominican dialect .........but a Dominican person. His tantrums yes are very childlike I know. But honestly I could deal with that. He has never been violent with me which is good but he can get nasty. What I cant deal with is cheating. I didnt know about Dominicans and that cheating is acceptable. I really didnt.

C'mon, you knew before you posted this that something was wrong. Now you are asking others to validate or reassure you of what you already know. You even seem to be defending him and his actions by saying you "can deal with that". It's time to respect yourself a little bit more and get rid of this loser. If you are a mature, respectable woman there is no way you would even consider putting up with a man being "nasty" and throwing "tantrums" or conversing with another woman in this manner. None of these things are acceptable in a real, loving, healthy relationship. Hopefully you won't take what i am telling you to be negative criticism rather it is just being honest and straight forward.

 

[Criss Colon]

There Are Only Two Viable Options For You!

The rest of it will only be to "buy time" or to cover up.1)Put up with him the way he is.Or 2)kick him out!
Only Y-O-U can decide what you want to do.
Is the "Cost/Benefit" ratio in your favor or not???
Can you do better,as in a sucessful,goodlooking white man?
Before you all jump my A$$ I will tell you that I am here cause I have never found a beautiful sexy 18 year old American girl who would give me a "First Look", never mind a second one!!! Sometimes people who are not to attractive need to "Slum" to get what we want!!
I'm not cruel,but "LIFE" sure can be!!!
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

 

[bochinche]

no doubt whatsoever......kick him out is the only option.


i've been fooling myself all these years.......
.....and what's worse is wondering if i should be giving my wife a good beating.

 

[Bouche120]

Thank you for the harsh truth. Honestly I have never done anything like this before. You see I am a white American. I have pretty much stayed on the Amercian side when it came to relationships. Then I met my boyfriend. At the time he seemed so caring, and compassionate. He was considerate and very loving. It really wasnt about the money, or what I did domestically for him. We "I THOUGHT" were friends. I thought he respected me. Granted I will be honest... he was exotic and different and it was a turn on. I love the music and the food way before him but had no one to enjoy it with until he came along. We were fine until last year. I had no clue what was going on behind my back. WHen he went to DR he called me everyday telling me how much he missed me and loved me. I wouldnt have thought anything. The we moved in together. Thats when it changed. I did look at his email and I feel horrible about it. But in a way I am glad I did. I would have been blind to this till this day. Granted I am still blind because of the language and the translation of the letter but thanks to you all I now know what have been dealing with.

I have been subconciously sticking up for him. I guess when your in love you do crazy things.


But now I am in a tough spot I live with him and until next year I am stuck here. I dont know what I am goign to do know.


I did confront him today about it and he said that once again they are just friends and that she has a boyfriend and I could even meet her if I want to.

This is crazy!!!!!!!

 

[MeDominican]

unfaithful man

I guess your right. I am not playing any kind of victim here. The only way I am a vicitm is to the language. Which is why I wanted it translated. I just wanted to know if this was a harmless email of not !!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get a Dominican persons point of view because who better to know Dominican dialect .........but a Dominican person. His tantrums yes are very childlike I know. But honestly I could deal with that. He has never been violent with me which is good but he can get nasty. What I cant deal with is cheating. I didnt know about Dominicans and that cheating is acceptable. I really didnt.

Dominican men have a reputation for being unfaithful, and cheating is common. However, I would not say that it is "acceptable." Like someone else posted, many women in D.R. (and other countries) put up with it because they cannot stand on their own two feet. They depend on the men to support them and their children.

About that other woman in D.R. based on one of your post it appeared as if she was aware of your existence, because if she was having something going with him, and you confronted her, she would have acted surprised and said that she did not know about you.... Instead she denied it, then why did she send him an E-mail like that.

She could be one of those trouble-makers that plots to break a relationship... like those women that make sure a man goes back to his home with lipstick in his collar (an example)...

Can you continue to trust him?

MeDominican

 

[mofi]

My response would be "vete a la verga" (excuse my language) and then i would pack my bags and move out. You don't have to stay for a year, there is always a way out of everything

 

[Bouche120]

Remember I dont know spanish. I dont know what that means. The problem is that my name is also on the lease. If I leave then I have a heavy penalty to pay either way. I pay or my name and credit gets smeared. I dont know what to do???????

 

[AnnaC]

Find out the conditions of your lease. Would there be a penalty if you sublease it yourself and would you still be responsible if the new tenants fail to pay. But you would both be have to get out of course.

Even after your lease expires you would still be responsible if you don't talk to the landlord and have your name taken out of your agreement.

If you have made up your mind about leaving him that is.

If he's worth it then take a trip with him to the DR. Call this girl and talk to her yourself.

Good luck

 

[A.J.]

Lets see - save your sanity or stay in a relationship where you are having problems.

Kick him out - if you are making good money then you should be able to pay your rent - if not get a roomate - have them sleep on the couch if needed.

Relationships that start out because one is exotic never work out. Food and music do not a relationship make.

 

[amy2761]

Get the lease transfered to your name/his name. Then either you or he (whoever stays there) will be fully responsible for it.

Stay well,
Amy

 

[Stodgord]

The girl in DR could be playing him as well. He has "la azulita" her ticket to the USA. I wouldn't be surprised if she (the other) is already working his family on her behalf.

Have you met his family in the DR? If you haven't and like to keep the relationship, make a point of visiting his family in the DR? Then after that everytime he goes, you go.

 

[Chris_NJ]

Then after that everytime he goes, you go.

From what I have seen Dominican women in the US really don't "allow" their significant others go to DR alone as they know exactly what can easily happen there.

 

[Bouche120]

This girl does not live in DR. She lives about 15 minutes away from my boyfriend and I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go figure. She has a job. Thats how I found out about her. She sent him the email from her job. Now I know where she works, lives and everything. His immediate family also lives here. Mother Father, etc. No I havent met them. I have never met them.
And when I confronted her about this she called him immediately. She told me that she hasnt spoken to him in a long time yada yada yada. But then she called him right after I talked to her.

I trusted him. Thats why he went by himself. I am not a Domincan women so how would I know that he was going to screw then next thing in a pair of shorts.

I dont know if I should believe him or not. I dont know if like a few had stated earlier if she wanted to be with him and was trying to start trouble. I dont know. All I know is that I was good to him and he basically screwed me over.