procrastination* a small vent

[yess]

*sung to the tune of Anticipation by Carly Simon
subtitled - "Hey No Body ever Listens to ME!"

A body at rest will continue at rest . . .
Sam, henceforth to be known as LOML (love of my life) has a major problem with inertia, he does not get up off his butt and get things done. Case in point: I told him 11 weeks ago, before his trip, to find out about getting his Dominican passport renewed. No he would do it there because it was easier and quicker and cheaper and whatever. His first week there I advised him to go down and get it done because if there were any problems it could take time to resolve. Yeah yeah yeah I'll do that, I'll get it done. 4 weeks ago the same conversation.

Fast forward to the last minute because let's face it nothing ever gets done 'til the last minute and there is a small problem with the renewal and LOML is delayed oh probably two weeks. (I am betting three) Yep two more weeks of sitting on the porch during the blackout drinking rum and Pepsi, two more weeks of good home cooking and feeling stuffed like a Christmas goose. Of course HE'S not too upset. Well he is upset about the fact that I told him that he is going to run out of money and DO NOT ask me for any. Very offended.

9 weeks visiting his parents doing basically nothing (except for the four days I visited and then we did lots) This is not so much a cultural difference as it is a difference between him and me. When I visit my family I stay at a hotel and I only stay a long weekend

When he finally does get back I don't know whether I will hug him or strangle him.

 

[John Evans]

what do you love about this bone idle inconsiderate person and why are you telling us this information

 

[Hillbilly]

Because she realizes she picked a loser??? I do not know, she is venting and telling us what we already knew. I mean, after all, wasn't this one of those people that "worked" at a resort? What did she expect??
You can be sure there is no place in the US, the UK or Canada that will allow a worker 9, 10 or 11 weeks of vacation...Are jobs that easy to come by??

HB (truly a curmudgeon this morning!)

 

[yess]

hmmmm . . . different boards, different board "cultures" I guess. It was only a chatty kind of vent
whats to love? plenty but that would probably be waaay too much information

 

[John Evans]

people only want to share bad stuff

 

[yess]

No! NO! LOL he doesn't work at a resort, never worked at a resort, is a permanent resident, has a visa, lived in US for over 20 years, sorry to be outside the norm.

We have a small business in NY and traditionally April and May are our
slow months so it was a good time for him to go. It was not a paid vacation but he put aside funds figuring on being away two months. Now that its June we really need him back thus my chatty vent.

 

[rio2003]

Duh!

We have a small business in NY and traditionally April and May are our
slow months so it was a good time for him to go. It was not a paid vacation but he put aside funds figuring on being away two months. Now that its June we really need him back thus my chatty vent.

So are you Dominican too, or are you American? Sorry, I don't understand what nationality you are because of the comment about staying in a hotel when you visit your family?
I take it you trust your guy and that it is just the normal Dominican non-rushing way of going about things? Or most things, should I say....
He is a naughty boy though...... I agree!

Rio

 

[yess]

I am american however this difference between us regarding visiting family is not a cultural difference its just me. I do not like to stay in any else's home I prefer hotels

Our different attitudes about time and schedules and deadlines has proven to be a plus in our relationship. He loves that I am GO GO GO get it done NOW, check check and double check.( although I know there are times when he basically ignores me till I calm down) I love that he helps me chill out a bit and have some fun.

 

[rio2003]

Our different attitudes about time and schedules and deadlines has proven to be a plus in our relationship. He loves that I am GO GO GO get it done NOW, check check and double check.( although I know there are times when he basically ignores me till I calm down) I love that he helps me chill out a bit and have some fun.

I can relate to that - the DR is like a chill out therapy for me - the place and the people

I change from the efficient, highly organised, slightly anal aranoid: female that I am in the UK to a much more laid back individual ...... most of the time!

Rio

 

[SKing]

*sung to the tune of Anticipation by Carly Simon
subtitled - "Hey No Body ever Listens to ME!"

A body at rest will continue at rest . . .
Sam, henceforth to be known as LOML (love of my life) has a major problem with inertia, he does not get up off his butt and get things done. Case in point: I told him 11 weeks ago, before his trip, to find out about getting his Dominican passport renewed. No he would do it there because it was easier and quicker and cheaper and whatever. His first week there I advised him to go down and get it done because if there were any problems it could take time to resolve. Yeah yeah yeah I'll do that, I'll get it done. 4 weeks ago the same conversation.

Fast forward to the last minute because let's face it nothing ever gets done 'til the last minute and there is a small problem with the renewal and LOML is delayed oh probably two weeks. (I am betting three) Yep two more weeks of sitting on the porch during the blackout drinking rum and Pepsi, two more weeks of good home cooking and feeling stuffed like a Christmas goose. Of course HE'S not too upset. Well he is upset about the fact that I told him that he is going to run out of money and DO NOT ask me for any. Very offended.
9 weeks visiting his parents doing basically nothing (except for the four days I visited and then we did lots) This is not so much a cultural difference as it is a difference between him and me. When I visit my family I stay at a hotel and I only stay a long weekend

When he finally does get back I don't know whether I will hug him or strangle him.

Asi son Los Dominicanos:squareeye

 

[Euterpe]

If it's any commiseration, not only Dominicans - I was married to a guy who could sleep 24 hours, if left undisturbed, stopped working in 1987 and never got another job, and with whom we NEVER got to a party, dinner, theatre or appointment on time in nearly 20 years...idleness is a trait sometimes raised to a talent, and indeed an art form...

 

[catcherintherye]

That sounds more like major depression to me.

 

[Euterpe]

That sounds more like major depression to me.

No, believe me, he was a natural layabout & procrastinator - no depression at all ! Apparently in the genes : his father was incapable of getting anything done in the given time limit, and so is my son...

 

[Berzin]

No, believe me, he was a natural layabout & procrastinator - no depression at all ! Apparently in the genes : his father was incapable of getting anything done in the given time limit, and so is my son...

Yet you married him and stayed with him for what, 20 years?

I would love to hear what he has to say about YOU...:ermm:

 

[jalencastro]

LOL, i SECOND that Berzin....what was HE thinking?

 

[Euterpe]

Are you kidding ? I'm a control freak, an manager and an autocrat, so he was delighted to just let me organise the whole home & family around him...don't think that he filled in a form, met a teacher or settled an utilities bill in 19 years - and as to why I married him - well, a lot of these layabout-types are also incredibly charming, and I was madly in love with him !
He spent months trying to talk me out of the divorce ( they can put in an effort when they want to), even right up to going into see the judge!
We still talk occasionally, 15 years on - but I do feel sorry for his current wife ... sentiments apart, the guy's a nightmare...

As to what he says about me - well, according to the grape-vine, he misses me a lot...hi hi hi

 

[Berzin]

Are you kidding ? I'm a control freak, an manager and an autocrat, so he was delighted to just let me organise the whole home & family around him...don't think that he filled in a form, met a teacher or settled an utilities bill in 19 years - and as to why I married him - well, a lot of these layabout-types are also incredibly charming, and I was madly in love with him !
He spent months trying to talk me out of the divorce ( they can put in an effort when they want to), even right up to going into see the judge!
We still talk occasionally, 15 years on - but I do feel sorry for his current wife ... sentiments apart, the guy's a nightmare...

As to what he says about me - well, according to the grape-vine, he misses me a lot...hi hi hi

More people should post like this. This person admitted to what was a dysfunctional relationship and explained to everyone how it worked(or didn't work) from both sides.

Neurotic and toxic tendencies are enabling, and that enabling and feeding of others' insecurities and shortcomings is what becomes the driving force behind the relationship.

Why else would many unhappy couples stay together and drive each other crazy? Because those neurotic needs are being met on a daily basis.

Now the next time someone reads another sanky story, please keep in mind that there are always other issues at play besides someone unknowingly being taken advantage of.

 

[John Evans]

thank you Dr Ruth errr Berzin...have you ever thought of having a Television series

 

[catcherintherye]

With all due respect to John Evans, Berzin is simply stating a well-documented observation of many sociologists. There are dynamics at play in any relationship. Apart from outright criminal theft and deception, most of what we might consider disfunctional relationships are based on mutual benefit. Each party has a stake in maintaining the status quo. In other words, there would be no lions if there were no lambs.

 

[Berzin]

thank you Dr Ruth errr Berzin...have you ever thought of having a Television series

No, but I have my own booth. Free sessions for anyone with 100 or more posts on DR1.:cheeky: