Why the Dominican Man?

[Alyonka]

Hi. I am new to this forum but I came here because I was trying to learn more about this new Domincan guy that I just started dating. I have to tell you that I am a boricua/white mix from New York and to be honest I have only ever dated Puerto Ricans, so this new guy is the first Domincan I have ever been with. While I know that our heritages share some similiarities I came here searching for more insite into his culture in order to gain understanding. I have to admit that the first post on this thread has me worried now. Because I have been so stuck on men from PR I wasnt aware that Domincan men were known for cheating etc. In trying to stick somewhat to the topic I will say that he attracted me with his sweetness, kind words, the lustful ways he looks and me and he is a darn good kisser (havent made love yet so I cant speak to that yet). I could also add that it was first a physical attraction as well as he is very good looking (in all honesty his skin tone made him look Puerto Rican which is how he caught my eye to begin with).

That said, does anyone have any advice on how I could quickly figure out if this guy will have that propensity for cheating? Or maybe if he already has a wife even? Now I have straight out asked him but he says no wife no gf (he did say he has an ex wife). Of couse if men from DR are as some have indicated he wouldnt tell me about a wife anyway.

Some background, he moved from DR to NYC at age 8 so fairly americanized I would say, also we met at work so he has a good job (YAY!!). Anyway since this is my first Domincan any words of wisdom are appreciated.

If he is in the US from the age of 8 and does not travel to DR often this might be a different story. Try to find out more about him. A lot of men are single "at heart" and have wives and children in reality. Of course, if you like him, what does it matter? Just enjoy yourself while it lasts!

 

[Talldrink]

Hello NYC Boricua and welcome...

As with any other man - regardless if Dominican or not - there are tell-tell signs that you are not number one is his life.

If he doesnt take you to his house (ever!)
If you are never invited to be with his friends (this might come before the house invite
You are always alone with him
He doesnt really care to meet your friends or family
Doesnt care to spend any money on you (dinner, movies, drinks, ANYTHING)
If he is Dominican and he doesnt take you out dancing - you are not the only one in the court Nena... Dito

You are at the beginning of your relationship, which means that you can shape how you want to be treated and the direction this will go. If you allow him to take you on cheap dates (aka - come over and just watch a movie so that you can neck on your free couch) or have food delivered instead of going out to dinner at the beginning and always - then that's the standard you are setting for your relationship with him. This is also true regarding getting physical early in the getting-to-know-you stage. If he can get you without putting any effort, then thats how it will always be from here forward.

Again, these are just general guidelines for everyone. Not that it is not OK to watch a movie or order food, but if thats all you do, then you are setting yourself up. Once you have established this, it is hard to get out of it later on if things get more serious.

I am in no way a materialistic person nor a golddigger, but if a fella is not willing to spend any money on me (at least at the beginning to show extra effort and his interest in keeping me around) then he is not really worth my time. Being generous and giving is still the best way to make an impression with a girl - at least for Dominicans.

Mis dos centavitos...

 

[Talldrink]

BTW - for the tri-state area posters:

Where are the best places to meet these Americanized Dominicans anyway?? HELP!!

 

[Alyonka]

Hello NYC Boricua and welcome...

As with any other man - regardless if Dominican or not - there are tell-tell signs that you are not number one is his life.

If he doesnt take you to his house (ever!)
If you are never invited to be with his friends (this might come before the house invite
You are always alone with him
He doesnt really care to meet your friends or family
Doesnt care to spend any money on you (dinner, movies, drinks, ANYTHING)
If he is Dominican and he doesnt take you out dancing - you are not the only one in the court Nena... Dito

Mis dos centavitos...

I can add to these - if the only phone number you have for him is his cell or his work number and he never calls you from his house or allows you to call him to his house...

 

[pkaide1]

BTW - for the tri-state area posters:

Where are the best places to meet these Americanized Dominicans anyway?? HELP!!

SUNY New Paltz, New York

 

[chuckuindy]

BTW - for the tri-state area posters:

Where are the best places to meet these Americanized Dominicans anyway?? HELP!!

Why would you need them, you have me?

Chucky

 

[NYC_Boricua]

Thank You All!!

Thank you all for your wonderful posts. I found them all very helpful. I plan to use some of those ideas to "check into things." I can say that we work together so we actually already know a lot of the same people and have some common friends, he always pays when we go to dinner, I have tried on 3 occassions to pick up the tab but he just wont let me. I also know that he does have two children as a result of a marriage that is terminated. We have not gone out dancing yet, however that isnt because he hasnt wanted to. I have been physically unable to do that since about a week after we started dating because of a surgery. I will be good to go dancing in about 2 weeks!! Now he claims not to have a home phone only a cell, I know that is troublesome and while I havent actually been to his house yet he did tell me where he lives so really I could stop over at any time and probably should. Anyway not to bore everyone with another long post I will just take everyone's good advice and see what I discover. Thanks again for all of the wonderful feedback, what a great bunch of people on here

 

[Talldrink]

Bori - I dont have a home number only a cell phone...
It sounds like you have a good thing, I hope it lasts!

 

[deelt]

While my days dating Dominicans have expired you can meet some interesting professional Dominican men at Dominican-American focused events. If you turnout to events you will encounter what you are looking for. Example of some of the orgs that hold functions inthe tri-state area:

Dominican-American National Roundtable
DAPA
Dominicans Lawyer Associations (gotta double check name)
DOWS

Gotta run to a meeting. will revisit later.

BTW - for the tri-state area posters:

Where are the best places to meet these Americanized Dominicans anyway?? HELP!!

 

[bienamor]

Deelt

While my days dating Dominicans have expired you can meet some interesting professional Dominican men at Dominican-American focused events. If you turnout to events you will encounter what you are looking for. Example of some of the orgs that hold functions inthe tri-state area:

Dominican-American National Roundtable
DAPA
Dominicans Lawyer Associations (gotta double check name)
DOWS

Gotta run to a meeting. will revisit later.

Whats happening with Dan-el??????????????????????

 

[Talldrink]

Why would you need them, you have me?

Chucky, I just saw this! I thought I was too old for you, no?

 

[deelt]

Check your PM.

Whats happening with Dan-el??????????????????????

 

[NYC_Boricua]

Bori - I dont have a home number only a cell phone...
It sounds like you have a good thing, I hope it lasts!

Thanks so much! I sure hope so. It has only been a short time, but so far I am enjoying his company more then all the boricuas I have ever dated combined!!! Good Luck to you dear.

 

[Audra]

Thanks so much! I sure hope so. It has only been a short time, but so far I am enjoying his company more then all the boricuas I have ever dated combined!!! Good Luck to you dear.

I think you missed the sarcasm.

 

[Talldrink]

HEY there Audrav - I was not being sarcastic! I do wish ANYONE who finds a man that she feels good with the very best!!

 

[lalla]

I think you missed the sarcasm.

I mustve missed it too.....- i didnt note any sarcasm whatsoever

 

[Audra]

I mustve missed it too.....- i didnt note any sarcasm whatsoever

There was a comment about not having a home number and cell # only that meant trouble, so I thought it was a sacastic comment like most on here!

If I was wrong, my bad.

 

[qgrande]

There was a comment about not having a home number and cell # only that meant trouble, so I thought it was a sacastic comment like most on here!

If I was wrong, my bad.

Not all relations of Dominicans and foreigners are unsuccesfull, if they've met at work and live in the US, it's a different thing altogether than tourists at resorts. Instant sarcasm is for the sankie forum

 

[Talldrink]

There was a comment about not having a home number and cell # only that meant trouble, so I thought it was a sacastic comment like most on here!

Hello Audrav - I am Talldrink. Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I am generally not sarcastic with new or genuine people. The people I'm sarcastic with KNOW I'm being sarcastic and KNOW why. There are alot of us that have been posting for a long time now and it actually used to be a tighter knit community than it is now: Getogethers both in DR and in the US, a lot of chatting on the chat room, a lot of commotion, drama and namecalling - but also new friendships and nice conversations overall...

So at any rate, I was serious about the cell comment - only because that is my case. I dont have a home number.

Nice to meet you!

 

[Audra]

Hello Audrav - I am Talldrink. Let me tell you a little bit about myself: I am generally not sarcastic with new or genuine people. The people I'm sarcastic with KNOW I'm being sarcastic and KNOW why. There are alot of us that have been posting for a long time now and it actually used to be a tighter knit community than it is now: Getogethers both in DR and in the US, a lot of chatting on the chat room, a lot of commotion, drama and namecalling - but also new friendships and nice conversations overall...

So at any rate, I was serious about the cell comment - only because that is my case. I dont have a home number.

Nice to meet you!

I see that there are people here that have know eachother a long time and get together when possible. That's great!

Nice to meet you too!