Who has happier relationships?

[Adrian Bye]

a question for the forum..

who long term has happier relationships, the average white american couple, or the average dominican latino couple?

 

[DMV123]

Interesting question.

If North America has an average first marriage divorce rate of 50%, what would it be here?

Here, do they divorce or just take on another girlfriend /lover?

How do you measure when many many couples here do not even marry?

Good thread idea lets see what happens!

 

[USKK]

I certainly would not be one to consult if you read my threads...and i'm sure the others would agree :classic:, but US is even higher that 50% now. And second marriage divorce rate is 75%.

 

[jrhartley]

you would only be able to tell if you had been both - so basically noone would know the answer to that question......but you get the prize for weird question of the day

 

[AnnaC]

Having " no choice" when it comes to leaving a relationship doesn't mean it's happier or better in the DR. The divorce rates might be lower ( I have no stats on that) in the DR but have a good look at the stats on physical abuse and murder of a spouse and then let me know which is happier or better.

Good topic!

 

[DMV123]

Good point Anna. Society in many ways here is soooo far behind. Many women do not have the option of leaving, they are so dependent on the man and there is little in the way of support services.

 

[RacerX]

everyone has the option to leave, no one is forced to stay in a relationship under any accord. But if they dont exercise it then who knows? Many women here CHOOSE to be dependent on their partner.

 

[Adrian Bye]

everyone has the option to leave, no one is forced to stay in a relationship under any accord. But if they dont exercise it then who knows? Many women here CHOOSE to be dependent on their partner.

This is a pretty interesting comment. So even though the women may complain and say American/European guys are better partners, maybe at the core the women are actually happier with Dominican guys since they don't leave?

 

[bachata]

This is a pretty interesting comment. So even though the women may complain and say American/European guys are better partners, maybe at the core the women are actually happier with Dominican guys since they don't leave?

Partner? With the high unemployment rate in America I think this will increase...
I think I'll be the next one.

hahahaha

JJ

 

[RacerX]

This is a pretty interesting comment. So even though the women may complain and say American/European guys are better partners, maybe at the core the women are actually happier with Dominican guys since they don't leave?

they say 3 things about American dudes(and I guess Euros):
a. se tratan bien
b. estan mas carinoso
c. son mas fiel

they also say:
d. son tacano
e. no quieren dar
f. son facil

About the complaints, everyone seems to blame the men for not knowing the principles of a stable relationship. I dont think the women know much more than the men do. I think the men are horndogs and the women are Cinderellies.
My point was if she is displeased in a relationship she can leave at any time. Now if she has a place to go is another undiscovered detail.

 

[Fiesta Mama]

This is a pretty interesting comment. So even though the women may complain and say American/European guys are better partners, maybe at the core the women are actually happier with Dominican guys since they don't leave?

I can't see how you draw this conclusion? Acouple can be happy whether American/European or Dominican. What about mixed Dominican/American/European marriages - you don't mention that common mix that is more and more common in the DR and around the world? The bottom line is there are so many variables that go into making a marriage happy that I don't think it has anything to do with culture but everything combined. Also, as some have said, many Dominican women are born into a culture of being trapped into a relationship and stay but not by choice.

Lets take an uneducated 15 year old that becomes pregnant by a 25 year old (this is totally hypothetical but trying to give an example of things I have seen). The 15 year old often becomes the "property" of her man and is housebound and falls into the role of housewife and is 100% dependent on her husband/boyfriend, for food, clothing, housing, etc. She cannot leave because she has no money, no education, sometimes no family and often the man threatens to kill or hurt her if she even thinks of stepping foot outside the house. This is a harsh reality some women in the DR face and staying with their man has nothing to do with happiness!

 

[RacerX]

I can't see how you draw this conclusion? Acouple can be happy whether American/European or Dominican. What about mixed Dominican/American/European marriages - you don't mention that common mix that is more and more common in the DR and around the world? The bottom line is there are so many variables that go into making a marriage happy that I don't think it has anything to do with culture but everything combined. Also, as some have said, many Dominican women are born into a culture of being trapped into a relationship and stay but not by choice.

Lets take an uneducated 15 year old that becomes pregnant by a 25 year old (this is totally hypothetical but trying to give an example of things I have seen). The 15 year old often becomes the "property" of her man and is housebound and falls into the role of housewife and is 100% dependent on her husband/boyfriend, for food, clothing, housing, etc. She cannot leave because she has no money, no education, sometimes no family and often the man threatens to kill or hurt her if she even thinks of stepping foot outside the house. This is a harsh reality some women in the DR face and staying with their man has nothing to do with happiness!

No. No... no. You re wrong. No one is trapped. To be trapped would require that there is NO escape, no recourse and no remedy. Literally, atrapado y cornelado dentro fuego y la pared(Frankie Ruiz). If this young woman is uneducated or not she still has the right of refusal for sexual intercourse(and if your example is from things you have seen it is anecdotal not hypothetical). If she conceded to intercourse and got pregnant that was one error on her part. She can go live with the man or she can stay with her family. In my example there are many women who get discarded when they tell their partner they got pregnant and I mean lightning fast. Even if the woman has no family locally or that wants to accept her there is always a way out as opposed to being someones chambermaid hoping in vain that you dont get murdered in a jealous rage.
The cultural thing that is introduced here is that it cool for men to manipulate women which is more effective the less education the woman has completed. Up until recently there was no competition. Everyone says these guys are machisto and I dont see it. In my opinion almost every man is a living caricature of the little Chicken Hawk guy from the Warner Brothers cartoons. And the women spend so much time trying to impress and create envy in other women that they rationalize getting beat as a romantic trial by fire, "If he doesnt beat you he doesnt love you". They will even create drama around that statement, flying into jealous rages, screaing matches or whatever just to incite disturbance. And the same envy to/for/from/against other women is what makes them stay in dysfunctional relationships. "I ll take an assswhooping if it means I HAVE a man, you dont have one and you have to do everything by yourself. You have to work too hard, I dont want to." Here its not what you want, it is what you have.

 

[Fiesta Mama]

No. No... no. You re wrong. No one is trapped. To be trapped would require that there is NO escape, no recourse and no remedy. Literally, atrapado y cornelado dentro fuego y la pared(Frankie Ruiz). If this young woman is uneducated or not she still has the right of refusal for sexual intercourse(and if your example is from things you have seen it is anecdotal not hypothetical). If she conceded to intercourse and got pregnant that was one error on her part. She can go live with the man or she can stay with her family. In my example there are many women who get discarded when they tell their partner they got pregnant and I mean lightning fast. Even if the woman has no family locally or that wants to accept her there is always a way out as opposed to being someones chambermaid hoping in vain that you dont get murdered in a jealous rage.
The cultural thing that is introduced here is that it cool for men to manipulate women which is more effective the less education the woman has completed. Up until recently there was no competition. Everyone says these guys are machisto and I dont see it. In my opinion almost every man is a living caricature of the little Chicken Hawk guy from the Warner Brothers cartoons. And the women spend so much time trying to impress and create envy in other women that they rationalize getting beat as a romantic trial by fire, "If he doesnt beat you he doesnt love you". They will even create drama around that statement, flying into jealous rages, screaing matches or whatever just to incite disturbance. And the same envy to/for/from/against other women is what makes them stay in dysfunctional relationships. "I ll take an assswhooping if it means I HAVE a man, you dont have one and you have to do everything by yourself. You have to work too hard, I dont want to." Here its not what you want, it is what you have.

Wow, I'm not sure I really follow or agree with all that you are saying. I honestly don't believe that a lot of the uneducated women that I was referring to in such a situation put in all the thought that you suggest nor for the reasons you suggest.

Now, back to the OP about happines... I still think there is more to a happy marriage than where the people are from and their culture.

 

[Africaida]

No. No... no. You re wrong. No one is trapped. To be trapped would require that there is NO escape, no recourse and no remedy. Literally, atrapado y cornelado dentro fuego y la pared(Frankie Ruiz). If this young woman is uneducated or not she still has the right of refusal for sexual intercourse(and if your example is from things you have seen it is anecdotal not hypothetical). If she conceded to intercourse and got pregnant that was one error on her part. She can go live with the man or she can stay with her family. In my example there are many women who get discarded when they tell their partner they got pregnant and I mean lightning fast. Even if the woman has no family locally or that wants to accept her there is always a way out as opposed to being someones chambermaid hoping in vain that you dont get murdered in a jealous rage.
The cultural thing that is introduced here is that it cool for men to manipulate women which is more effective the less education the woman has completed. Up until recently there was no competition. Everyone says these guys are machisto and I dont see it. In my opinion almost every man is a living caricature of the little Chicken Hawk guy from the Warner Brothers cartoons. And the women spend so much time trying to impress and create envy in other women that they rationalize getting beat as a romantic trial by fire, "If he doesnt beat you he doesnt love you". They will even create drama around that statement, flying into jealous rages, screaing matches or whatever just to incite disturbance. And the same envy to/for/from/against other women is what makes them stay in dysfunctional relationships. "I ll take an assswhooping if it means I HAVE a man, you dont have one and you have to do everything by yourself. You have to work too hard, I dont want to." Here its not what you want, it is what you have.

WOW, speechless...

 

[greydread]

Wow, I'm not sure I really follow or agree with all that you are saying. I honestly don't believe that a lot of the uneducated women that I was referring to in such a situation put in all the thought that you suggest nor for the reasons you suggest.

Now, back to the OP about happines... I still think there is more to a happy marriage than where the people are from and their culture.

Amen.

Having experienced both the sunny and dark sides of marriage I can say in retrospect that the best times of my marriages were when we had to work the hardest and had the least. Back in the days when I showed up at work with baby vomit stains on my suit jackets and bags under my eyes from collicky babies and the day began and ended with the kids and money was tight and when we got a few peaceful minutes together (rarely) we acted like it was the last sex we were ever going to get. Years later as the kids were wrapped up in their extracurriculars and networks of friends and we basically only saw them when they were sleeping or ran out of money, which we now had plenty of and we both had new cars and diamonds and toys and she wouldn't be caught dead without fur in the wintertime and I had time for golf and fishing and travel and poker nights with the boyz and four humidors full of very fine cigars and she went to the casino twice a month and I went to the trotters on Thursday evenings and eventually we drifted into totally separate lives....we no longer "needed" one another.

Most Americans find themselves with similar distractions. Most Dominicans don't.

 

[? bient?t]

And the women spend so much time trying to impress and create envy in other women that they rationalize getting beat as a romantic trial by fire, "If he doesnt beat you he doesnt love you". They will even create drama around that statement, flying into jealous rages, screaing matches or whatever just to incite disturbance. And the same envy to/for/from/against other women is what makes them stay in dysfunctional relationships. "I ll take an assswhooping if it means I HAVE a man, you dont have one and you have to do everything by yourself. You have to work too hard, I dont want to."

"a romantic trial by fire"? Are you serious, RacerX? Of course you are.

Folks, the more I read these analyses by some ex-pats, the more convinced I am that they "know" our society. Well, considering the non-Dominican readership here, they may be "correct." Let's call it the Anglo angle, or better yet, el ?ngulo anglosaj?n, (but you can accentuate the middle syllable in ?ngulo, as you folks are fond of doing with most multi-syllabic words).

?E'to no e' corral de chivo!
Diablo! I see a load of rep points coming my way to challenge the toma-y-dame-puntos agreement between jrhartley and the would-be percussionist.

 

[yacht chef]

I don't get it bentot R U saying he is right or wrong. I take it you are not an X pat. I well with hold comment on the topic but ,it would be nice to here what the locale point of view is on racer x's opinion.

 

[RacerX]

"a romantic trial by fire"? Are you serious, RacerX? Of course you are.

Folks, the more I read these analyses by some ex-pats, the more convinced I am that they "know" our society. Well, considering the non-Dominican readership here, they may be "correct." Let's call it the Anglo angle, or better yet, el ?ngulo anglosaj?n, (but you can accentuate the middle syllable in ?ngulo, as you folks are fond of doing with most multi-syllabic words).

?E'to no e' corral de chivo!
Diablo! I see a load of rep points coming my way to challenge the toma-y-dame-puntos agreement between jrhartley and the would-be percussionist.

I m with the chef on this one. I dont get the point you re making. You didnt submit enough information to draw a pro/con or nothing.

 

[? bient?t]

From the italicized 'you' in the question, Are you serious? To the quotes on a couple of words... I thought that was enough to show my disagreement with RacerX's remarks.

I wish more Dominicans would speak up. Maybe they are too busy being lambones.

 

[RacerX]

From the italicized 'you' in the question, Are you serious? To the quotes on a couple of words... I thought that was enough to show my disagreement with RacerX's remarks.

I wish more Dominicans would speak up. Maybe they are too busy being lambones.

Or maybe it gets lonely being delusional?? Could be...

YOU have to be specific, context is lost on the Internet