First time in DR (San Juan de la Maguana )

[RacerX]

Yea bro, but you know the deal...if she cant hustle you then she cant be bothered with you. The thing is it is your fault, if you can believe that. You werent interested in marrying her after knowing her for 13 days, so she is saying he is not "serious". Serious is one of those contrarian words in the DR. How serious could you be about locking some woman down whom you have known for less than one month?

I brought a woman a 1800W hair blower and she was pestering me about sending it through some shipping company. I paid $7 for the thing off Ebay. You think I am going to pay $40 to send it? You get it when I come. So I give her the blower when I get there and then after that all you do is get excuses of how come she cant hang out.

But this guy, the OP, wants to go to San Juan and get a girlfriend. He figures because he goes to smaller non tourist town it will be different. It will be the same, slower, but the same. I guarantee 80% of the woman he meets, if not 90% will be expecting to be put on the payroll. And his languages skills arent tight so how is he going to rebutt this "it is the culture here"? And then at the end of the year he will be all remorseful and bitter "All the women there suck!"

I m just saying to him "Watch what they do. Who gives an F what they say?"

 

[Berzin]

I m just saying to him "Watch what they do. Who gives an F what they say?"

You are correct, RacerX, except I've known her for 6 years. There was no reason for her behavior, just typical poor girl lunacy. But the above quote speaks to that-they can give you all the "muela" in the world, in the end it means nothing because it's how they behave that matters.

San Juan de la Maguana may be a sleepy little town away from the tourist areas, but just like Nagua there is a strong internet influence there. Many chicas from this town are hip to the online internet dating services and are using them. And this little town has it's fair share of women who work in the sex trade overseas and come back showing off their proceeds in the form of nice houses and brand new jeepetas. But as we all know, they earned their money waitressing.

And as slow as they may seem in comparison to the city slickers from Santiago and the capital, I can tell you from first-hand experience that quite a few families in this town know how to coach their little daughters/nieces/whatever have you in the fine art of putting up a front just long enough to catch a foreign sucker out there.

 

[Africaida]

Learning....

San Juan de la Maguana may be a sleepy little town away from the tourist areas, but just like Nagua there is a strong internet influence there. Many chicas from this town are hip to the online internet dating services and are using them. And this little town has it's fair share of women who work in the sex trade overseas and come back showing off their proceeds in the form of nice houses and brand new jeepetas. But as we all know, they earned their money waitressing.

And as slow as they may seem in comparison to the city slickers from Santiago and the capital, I can tell you from first-hand experience that quite a few families in this town know how to coach their little daughters/nieces/whatever have you in the fine art of putting up a front just long enough to catch a foreign sucker out there.

The power of the Internet aranoid:
I find that very interesting as someone who was convinced that away from the tourists areas that the whole "catch a foreign sucker" would NOT really exist.

 

[rice&beans]

I know some"hot mamas" in San Juan De La Maguana. They dream about going to Argentina, to get involved in "Waitressing".........

Big time recruiting going on there.......

 

[RacerX]

The power of the Internet aranoid:
I find that very interesting as someone who was convinced that away from the tourists areas that the whole "catch a foreign sucker" would NOT really exist.

I dont think the internet thing is that relevant. Anytime you have a sister or a cousin or your best friend who is in NY or Madrid and they come back every year and has mucho dinero a gastar(with her IRS refund check) that is enough to instill the envy in anybody.

One woman told me she was living good because she was picking grapes in France. I disagreed. You could look at her hands and she see didnt work outside at all. Which I told her meant that she probably worked on the plantation servicing the men who did work in the field. And that is how she made the money to fly back home every December and stay until May.

Another woman told me that if I take care of her I can have my way with her. I told her I dont need to take care of you to have my way with you. Do you see any other takers? Then you get the value argument, "Tu no sabes valor?"

I know some"hot mamas" in San Juan De La Maguna. They dream about going to Argentina, to get involved in "Waitressing".........

Big time recruiting going on there.......

And in the Dutch Antilles too. They tell you "I am in Suriname and I work as a hair stylist." Or "Sant Maartan and I am a waitress." Really? There is a shortage of people in that country to cut hair or serve food that they had to get foreigners to do it?

 

[Hillbilly]

The last ten or twelve posts are Biblical in the truths they contain...with some great observations...especially about the internet influence...

Well done, you guys...


HB

 

[Bronxboy]

The last ten or twelve posts are Biblical in the truths they contain...with some great observations...especially about the internet influence...

Well done, you guys...


HB

Yeah, I guess the Wheaties they are digesting is doing them good.:cheeky:

 

[Chirimoya]

I've been to SJM on several occasions. Once was with some first time foreign visitors who asked about all the wedding cake rococo mansions. One of our local colleagues explained that they "were built by local women who emigrated and married rich foreign men and were able to send a lot of money to their families". I'm not sure if it was without irony.

 

[greydread]

I dont think the internet thing is that relevant. Anytime you have a sister or a cousin or your best friend who is in NY or Madrid and they come back every year and has mucho dinero a gastar(with her IRS refund check) that is enough to instill the envy in anybody.

Do you see any other takers? Then you get the value argument, "Tu no sabes valor?"

And in the Dutch Antilles too. They tell you "I am in Suriname and I work as a hair stylist." Or "Sant Maartan and I am a waitress." Really? There is a shortage of people in that country to cut hair or serve food that they had to get foreigners to do it?

I agree that the internet may make a difference in a generation or so but not so much at present. The internet requires a degree of literacy which is not common in the campos and many times the Women who appear "internet savvy" are being prompted by accomplices who are using them as bait.

This is one of the problems of the cycle of poverty within misogynistic cultures. Families will put their barely existent educational resources into their Sons, hoping that he will grow to be successful enough to provide patriarchal support, leaving the Daughters to raise children and maintain the households. In fact, to prioritize education for their daughters would lift up the entire family. As the Woman evolves, she brings the Sons and Daughters up with her and teaches them in turn reducing the devastation and dysfunctionality of a family which has been abandoned because its male head either is killed or simply walks off and leaves them to their own devices.

 

[Berzin]

I know some"hot mamas" in San Juan De La Maguna. They dream about going to Argentina, to get involved in "Waitressing".........

Big time recruiting going on there.......

It's a sad fact that Dominican prostitutes are a major export in comparison to its' size. And quite a few aren't trafficked into the world of prostitution. Many know very well what they will be doing and go willingly.

But typically you hear stories of women who are "duped" into the life, when the fact is many more than would care to admit go overseas or to Central/South America knowing full well what's up.

As I heard it from a most beautiful 19 year-old a few years ago, when she asked her friends what they would rather be doing, all responded in the same manner-"Si no es putiando, no quiero trabajar".

Why? They get to meet foreigners of all types, get wined and dined and treated better than any Dominican would treat them, they get to drink and dance all night and sleep most of the day, they get paid many times better than the average Dominican worker, and there was the possibility that one of those idiots would fall in love with them and take them away.

I have a friend who is a high school teacher in Santo Domingo who has female students who get together and take weekend trips to Sosua to score. They do this all on their own, with no prodding or pressure from anyone and speak about their intentions openly. Imagine all those little tigres from their peer group who feel left out because they know the can't compete for these chicas' affections due to their lack of funds. Must be frustrating as hell.

 

[Bronxboy]

Why? They get to meet foreigners of all types, get wined and dined and treated better than any Dominican would treat them, they get to drink and dance all night and sleep most of the day, they get paid many times better than the average Dominican worker, and there was the possibility that one of those idiots would fall in love with them and take them away.

I am in the wrong profession.

 

[greydread]

Why? They get to meet foreigners of all types, get wined and dined and treated better than any Dominican would treat them, they get to drink and dance all night and sleep most of the day, they get paid many times better than the average Dominican worker, and there was the possibility that one of those idiots would fall in love with them and take them away.

I have a friend who is a high school teacher in Santo Domingo who has female students who get together and take weekend trips to Sosua to score. They do this all on their own, with no prodding or pressure from anyone and speak about their intentions openly. Imagine all those little tigres from their peer group who feel left out because they know the can't compete for these chicas' affections due to their lack of funds. Must be frustrating as hell.

I have seen this. Some of these "tigres" are just poor kids trying the best they can to get by in an economy which holds little promise or future for them (think "Bowery boys"). Much is posted on Dominican related discussion forums about the insidious "chulo" behind the street/ casa trade and none of it takes into consideration that in most cases the Chicas' decision to choose their current occupation was not much of a 'decision' at all, given the lack of alternative choices and these "chulos" are as much victims of circumstance as their mates. A lot of these guys are hustling rides or trinkets or paint-by-numbers "original paintings" or bootleg CD's and DVD's just to try to keep their Woman off the streets. Many times it's in vain and they pursue less legal avenues of producing revenue in the name of survival.

I try not to be too judgemental about them (while remaining careful of them) because a generation or two and/ or a few lines of lattitude and it could have been my story.

 

[Bronxboy]

I try not to be too judgemental about them (while remaining careful of them) because a generation or two and/ or a few lines of lattitude and it could have been my story.

I agree.

Every morning, while going to work, I have to past by Home Depot where hundreds of immigrants gather to see if they get picked up for work.

I could see myself in that group if this contract position I currently have would not have appeared.

Many have reasons for what they do. Others just like it.

 

[kdolo]

I agree that the internet may make a difference in a generation or so but not so much at present. The internet requires a degree of literacy which is not common in the campos and many times the Women who appear "internet savvy" are being prompted by accomplices who are using them as bait.

This is one of the problems of the cycle of poverty within misogynistic cultures. Families will put their barely existent educational resources into their Sons, hoping that he will grow to be successful enough to provide patriarchal support, leaving the Daughters to raise children and maintain the households. In fact, to prioritize education for their daughters would lift up the entire family. As the Woman evolves, she brings the Sons and Daughters up with her and teaches them in turn reducing the devastation and dysfunctionality of a family which has been abandoned because its male head either is killed or simply walks off and leaves them to their own devices.

Complete Nonsense

 

[greydread]

Complete Nonsense

Have you got a better idea or are you okay with the status quo? It doesn't seem to be leading to improvement of conditions for the poor.

 

[Kyle]

maybe that's a good idea to go to the tourist areas first. with more trips and better spanish i slowly began having the ability to move away from the tourist area if need be.
now i just establish my base camp in the tourist area.....

 

[RacerX]

Complete Nonsense

Eludicate por favor.

Actually I thought the concept had merit. In a paternalistic society the women are left to fend for themselves if the dude decides he doesnt want her. And they do that very frequently. I m not giving them a pass because if they werent so devoted to romantic expressions of love then they would see the man they have isnt worth the time they invest in him. But who am I to tell you who to lay down with? That is your road to hoe...until...you presume that I, the foreign man, can find myself interested or willing to be vested in being cuckolded by some man who measures up by little. I aint feelin' it.

What the OP will experience anywhere, in San Juan, in San Jose, in Salcedo, wherever is the notion that you are here solely to "fix", to "repair", to "validate", to "assure" the life of the young woman you will meet. That aint gonna happen man. With perfect Spanish it aint going to happen. With poor Spanish it aint going to happen, BUT there is a greater likelihood of misunderstanding to lead all parties involved to believe it will.

Apart from who makes the best prostitutes, there is a structural problem in this society that makes than an option. And not an ultimate option, the plausible option. Some women choose this(and I personally think more choose it than have been thrust in it, domestically) because its the easiest way to earn using your natural attributes. But why lie on your occupation? What gives? How do you denigrate the position but glorify the income it derives?

Those young women will say openly they want to be whores overseas but wont say that to a prospective love interest. We all know why? Aint no value we can place to a woman who let anybody just hump on her. So she gotta lie. Double edged sword. Aint no value we can place on a woman who lie to you.

I cant reinvent the wheel but dammit I m tired of women all over this city, if not country, waiting for "Superman" to set foot in front of them and "fix it". Wouldnt it give you a headache if the food in the supermarket talked to you as though you are not suitable to eat it(and this is best analogy I could get because the beauty of these women, the packaging, just like the food in the market draws our attention and has a determined shelf-life, perishable, if she does nothing to preserve or enhance it).

 

[Berzin]

Great post, RacerX.

Marriage and love seem to get confused between foreigners looking for companionship and Dominicans looking for a better life.

Some Dominicans see nothing wrong with their intentions, but what confuses the issue is the conniving and lying on their part, when the fact is love has nothing to do with it. Yet this is what they sell to a foreigner-the cheap dream, the fantasy that has no basis in their reality.

Whether it be the sexually submissive, ever-pleasing wife for the guy who can't find love in his backyard or the young buck with sexual energy to spare happily pleasing his unattractive, older lover, it's all a lie.

Meanwhile the foreigner, who has spent the better part of his/her life bombarded by notions of love in the West, listening to all the love songs, watching those DeBeers commercials about "how much is love worth? (according to the company, love is worth 3-6 months of ones' salary for an engagement ring) and sitting by the mailbox waiting for that Valentine's Day card that never arrives from the little red-headed girl, becomes an easy dupe.

They are looking for something they'll never find in the DR, despite the fact that they've heard it's practically guaranteed, all they have to do is show up and it's right there for them, without having to lift a finger or stress one moment of doubt.

Nice fantasy, too bad it's not real.

 

[RacerX]

Yea, you re right but there are plenty delusions to go around.

The male who can escape I speculate positively that he can do what he has heard others say exist over there. You know, work this job where he can drive a brand new car and make $1000/week. This is livery and it doesnt account for the weekly lease, taxes, fuel, fees, fines, etc. But that is on the good side, I will neglect the bad side or this conversation. But the good guy sees for the 1st time he may get a job and have some cash in his pocket.

For the female, I will assume maybe....45% are actually looking for a real pareja. Do they know what that is? I dont know, but I will speculate again and assume they want what most senile people want in a mate. The archetype of the foreign man I think these 45% want. The dude that wont cheat, the dude that works fastidiously to sustain his household, the dude that doesnt beat her nor juggle several women, also considers her opinion and gives her input into decision-making.

That guy exists, I know he does, but I think there are some in the 45% that jump the gun and ruin it because they dont know how to react when they meet that archetypical guy.

I will say that the female likewise has all these Western romantic notions of love is a man from overseas. The very same commercials and imagery affect them but more lustfully so because of the insipid poverty. I was watching the Sandra Bullock movie last night, The Proposal, and there is no way anything in that story makes sense to me, an American. BUT if I have never been in the US and I presumed that every image thrust before me was true, then I would idolize romantic notions of those people "over there". I would believe that love can conquer all and no matter how disastrous the premises we started with our love will prevail.

I heard a preacher say on YouTube today that television should be called "Tell Lies to My Vision". DeBeers says you should save up 1/2 year salary to buy a wedding ring, and what women wouldnt get a boner off of that?? Especially when half of them have never been legally married with a 500 peso piece of paper to prove it. The TV told them of the commitment you will make to the women you love, 3-6 months salary! Why wouldnt they rush the love train and get you to make that kind of commitment to them? If 1/2 of them have never been married legally then it stands to reason that 1/2 of the men dont want to make a commitment to these very same women.

I wish the OP success in his search but unless he puts on his rockets on reverse thrust he will find himself sleeping with one eye open. I think the dude should do the rudiments before he picks anyone:
1. beef up on the language.
2. make a checklist of what your "dream/ideal/perfect" women should have going in her life.
2a. Decide what from that checklist you are flexible in.
2b. Decide HOW flexible you are.
3. For this particular woman, what is your long term objective? If it is marriage, and that is for the rest of your life then you should see if you want to be with her for the rest of your life.

There are other hints, but I am all out...

 

[ccarabella]

OP, If you live in GA...

Why not go the local route and avoid the language barrier and other hassles?
I suggest you go to a Dominican salon and get a haircut. Meet the ladies that work there and become a regular. There is a variety of choices in the Atlanta area.
Dominicans are very social. You'll probably be invited to a BBQ or a christening in no time. (I met a Dominican gentleman at the supermarket and he invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with his family!).
Go to one of the Dominican restaurants or bakeries in the Gwinnett area. Meet people, hang out and just talk.
Join the Dominicanos en Atlanta facebook page. Listen to the Dominican radio station on Saturdays at 7pm 89.3FM. There you'll hear music, announcements about upcoming festivals and gatherings.
Take evening bachata dance lessons at PasoFino Atlanta.
It?s a relaxed, casual atmosphere where everyone gets to meet each other and dance. It's not a nightclub atmosphere and they have a social gathering one or twice a month.

Go to D.R. to have fun in the sun and meet people. Don?t go looking for love.
I have to agree with most of the advice given to you here. You will be "expected" to be some sort of "savior" and trust me that will get old and boring quickly.

Wish you the best of luck.

Ccarabella