child support standards in the DR

[bigwhiskey]

@ acira + anastacio
Thank you for being reserved in your judgement.

@ the holier-than-thou moral brigade
would you prefer the child being given to adoption?
would you prefer the father to be a typical local who's going to support her with $ 40,-/month, if that?
would you prefer the mother to be one more young woman who quit school 1 year prior to getting her degree?
would you prefer me staying with the woman even if the relationship would be less than harmonious with all the negative consequences for the child?
why are you incapable of seeing the parallel to a normal divorce situation in a developed country, which are common even during pregnancy?
better an end in terror than terror without end.

I don't feel obliged to get into the details of the situation just to for the sake of getting absolution from the moral absolutists on this forum, who are certain to have reserved a front row seat in heaven, but who are nevertheless busy throwing first stones - I'm sure they are without any faults, moral or otherwise.
Re the explanation to neighbors and child that the father was killed in a car accident abroad:
If you have any better idea for the woman's family to explain the father's absence without losing face, and for the kid not to be negatively impacted by the news that his father left of his own volition prior to his/her birth- I'm all ears.

I'm not trying to be holier than thou hell I drink , cuss ,chase women ,party allnight and will tell you about your a** in a minute. I was taught by my father to be responsible for your action's good or bad.
I the op case his plan is to throw money at his situation and tell a lie that's just as f**k up as the punks who have kids all over and do nothing for them including my chicken sh#t brother.

 

[Malibook]

I was taught by my father to be responsible for your action's good or bad.
I the op case his plan is to throw money at his situation and tell a lie that's just as f**k up as the punks who have kids all over and do nothing for them including my chicken sh#t brother.

So what would you do if a woman that you had no desire to marry got pregnant?

I think he has legitimate conerns about what her family could potentially do to him.

A lot of guys would hope for an abortion.
He is offering the child a much better option than that and comparing him to deadbeat runners doesn`t make sense.

 

[bigwhiskey]

So what would you do if a woman that you had no desire to marry got pregnant?

I think he has legitimate conerns about what her family could potentially do to him.

A lot of guys would hope for an abortion.
He is offering the child a much better option than that and comparing him to deadbeat runners doesn`t make sense.

Been there my daughter is 18 starting college,has my family name,still hit's my pockets for extra loot which is ok with me,won't bring a boyfriend around me for fear I'll pull out my shotgun on him,is trilingual english,spanish and what ever they use when texting.
What he is offering is jack sh@t and what he will miss is the joy of holding that baby ,the 2am feeding,, bonding with the child, hearing the word dada being said the first time ,teaching him or her to ride a bike seeing their face light up when your at their school assembly and the occasional pop on the behind when they act up and much more. Yeah he's offering the child much better option's he's still a deadbeat runner.
His concern about her family doing something to him .His biggest worry should be keeping them out his pocket's.

 

[SKing]

Oh hell, wait till I get home and can write my response.

SHALENA

 

[Malibook]

What he is offering is jack sh@t and what he will miss is the joy of holding that baby ,the 2am feeding,, bonding with the child, hearing the word dada being said the first time ,teaching him or her to ride a bike seeing their face light up when your at their school assembly and the occasional pop on the behind when they act up and much more. Yeah he's offering the child much better option's he's still a deadbeat runner.

Of course this is the much better scenario but how would you have accomplished all of that if you didn`t want to be with the mother?

I don`t find it hard to imagine that he may not be in a solid position to pack up his life and move to the DR to be with them, even if he wanted to.

A lot of kids in the DR grow up well with a loving extended family and quite often the main thing that is missing is cash.
Sounds cold but it is often their reality.

A lot of women and their family and friends don`t take too kindly to being mislead, knocked up, and dumped.
And perhaps he doesn`t have a big tough gun like you?

 

[greydread]

Been there my daughter is 18 starting college,has my family name,still hit's my pockets for extra loot which is ok with me,won't bring a boyfriend around me for fear I'll pull out my shotgun on him,is trilingual english,spanish and what ever they use when texting.
What he is offering is jack sh@t and what he will miss is the joy of holding that baby ,the 2am feeding,, bonding with the child, hearing the word dada being said the first time ,teaching him or her to ride a bike seeing their face light up when your at their school assembly and the occasional pop on the behind when they act up and much more. Yeah he's offering the child much better option's he's still a deadbeat runner.His concern about her family doing something to him .His biggest worry should be keeping them out his pocket's.

You just said a mouthful there. I can't believe all the changes that guys will go through trying to miss out on what would otherwise be the greatest addition to their time on this Earth and the single greatest source of inspiration (and frustration, imagination and concentration) available in their otherwise miserable little "ME" oriented lives.

What you have described here is only a peek through the keyhole at the wonderful World of parenthood. Granted, parenthood is not for everybody but for those who are tough enough and caring enough and lucky enough to make the journey the lifetime of reward that can follow is the greatest treasure I can think of.

I don't think prenatal support is a bad idea in small amounts to cover prenatal care and dietary supplements and other expenses whether it's his kid or not. I wouldn't waste all that money on a prenatal DNA test. That's money that could have been put to the purpose of ensuring the baby's health. I would highly recommend a post natal DNA test as soon as possible and even if it turns out not to be his kid, he can still be proud to have done everything in his power to give the kid the best possible chance. He might even be able to file the WU receipts as charitable donations. :classic:

 

[keepcoming]

Maybe its just me but something is just not right here. OP seems you have it all figured out what is best. Right or wrong. But really something is just not right :ermm:

 

[greydread]

I'll be daam'd if anybody else is gonna teach my Son to "Sink the Battleship"!

 

[SKing]

AGAIN...I REPLIED IN BOLD

My replies are in bold


Querida Shalena,

Ud sigue olvidando:
1.
Este es el forum legal, no lo de consejos y opiniones de aspecto moral, donde obviamente Ud se cre arbitro qualificadoWell the next time you solely want legal advice, I advise that you start your thread off with: Dear Mr. Guzman. Almost every post on here is opinion and speculation so if you don't like the heat stay out of the kitchen. The reason you are only attacking me is because my sh*t hits home. You know what you are and if you can sleep at night with what you are planning to do you are slime. Just like I've taken heat before, if you don't like to hear what people have to say, don't post your sh*t on the WWW
2.
Quien le educo a Ud que no le ensenaron la cortesia mas minima, que se esta tomando el derecho de insultar a otros participantes? Quizas porque se puede esconder detras del anonimato? Baby but, I sign my name to EVERY post I make, I have stated my location several times (Raleigh, NC) and have even posted my number on here for another a$$hole but a mod told me not to again. I don't hide behind sh*t but a pair of boy shorts and a bra. You want at me....PM me, I have no problems, I don't mince my words, and I tell it like it is...whether I've known you 20 years or 20 minutes. So let me say it again or since you like Spanish: desgraciado, sin verg?enza, mal padre....you need more?!?
Ud se cre el Papa que tiene derecho a juzgar a todos los demas?

And if you're a single mother, I don't know the details, but let me return the favor and just speculate that you are not exactly a shining example of wisdom and moral rectitude. No I am not but I'll tell you one f*cking thing, I had my first child at 17 and I took care of her just like I take care of the rest now. I never once thought "let me drop my kids off and my mom can tell them I died" You're an idiot. I work hard everyday for my kids, my time off of work is spent with them. When I go out, my kids are out of town or sleeping. I am a damn good mother whether I act like the Virgin Mary or Lady GaGa. You are a waste of skin, now I won't answer anymore to this thread because your not even worth my time.

Now if I'm getting an infraction or banned, I will take it. I am getting sick and tired of people insulting me and getting away with it. I say the same sh*t other people say, albeit harsher. I am getting tired of people coming on here asking telling their sh*t and as soon as they get an answer they don't like they want to run to Robert or a Mod. Be a man, hell, my 1 year old son got bigger balls than some fools on here.
Now give me whatevers coming....
DROPS MIKE

SHALENA

 

[Malibook]

Maybe its just me but something is just not right here. OP seems you have it all figured out what is best. Right or wrong. But really something is just not right :ermm:

It certainly does not seem like he loves her.

Maybe he was just using her as a sperm receptacle and she was just using him as an ATM.

 

[SKing]

I'll be daam'd if anybody else is gonna teach my Son to "Sink the Battleship"!

I love it!!

SHALENA

 

[Anastacio]

Listen to all you know the shoes but never walked in them people. I have an idea of what this guy is going through, I know what he has to deal with if he chooses to do the right thing. I was in EXACTLY the same situation 3 years ago. seriously changed my lifestyle and living needs, the way I enjoyed myself, everything, to do the right thing, and it has put about 30 years on me. Look where I am now people, you have no idea what this kind of thing can do to a guy and to be honest, I didn't really think about it while I was doing it. I used to love this country, I used to want to live here for the rest of my young days, I actually used to enjoy living. I wasn't prepared for my baby, I didn;'t any intention of having one, infact when me and my wife were trying for three years to have one I thought I was sterile, we were going to go for help, but unfortunately cancer got her first. I seriously thought I was unable to have kids, so was content to play ball and see what happened, russian roulette, dangerous but fun. Now you santimonious wenches who consider sex is to be protected at all times have never lived, you never felt passion? **** happens.
But anyway, now what I have a three year old relationship with a 2 year old daughter and have convinced myself for 3 years that I have to be in love with the mother and so I am, I have to be a dad and so I am. None of this is my own plan, it has been fored on me because I am a moral man.
remember, I am leaving this $hit hole rather sour, nerves screwed, finances rotten, mind unknown and with a lot of knowledge of a country I would have prefered never have set foot on 10 years ago on vacation.
I love my daughter, I love her mother, but I am leaving the mother and leaving with my daughter. What does that tell you about the love affair you can have with this country and the women within?
And before you say, I should look at better women. Live a little, step foot outside of your comfort zone, be a bit of a gambler, or carry on talking about $hit you will never understand, never know, but alway thing you can judge.
My 2 cents!!

 

[RacerX]

maybe it isn't cheap where you are, but he can get it done in sd for approx $270 us, that's cheap!!!! Something he should have researched before posting, it's that simple.

ADNLAB Pruebas de Paternidad - Inicio

This tells you something, why Dominicans dont do it. That is a WHOLE months salary just to find out who the father of the child is? Hahaha! Easier to walk away for free.

I have a friend who works for the Justice of the Peace in Santiago and a woman walked in yesterday and wanted to file a claim for manutension(child support) but she did NOT know the mans complete name, she knew street name and what they call him. What are you going to do with that?

 

[RacerX]

Maybe its just me but something is just not right here. OP seems you have it all figured out what is best. Right or wrong. But really something is just not right :ermm:

Like what?
My grievance is with the "I will drop dead thing and I will break it off with her when I return." Chicken moves to me. In the end you cant make a dude have, support or make a relationship where he doesnt want to. Next thing you know someone will come in here and extol the virtues of monogamy. And make the leap of equating sex with love.

It certainly does not seem like he loves her.

Maybe he was just using her as a sperm receptacle and she was just using him as an ATM.

Told you...

 

[keepcoming]

Not just quite right, what I mean is something with the situation and /or story. Again we do not know all the details but I don't know there is just something not totally adding up for me but then again its just my thought. I will just add that all this talk about "walking in someone elses shoes". I am pretty sure many of us have walked in these shoes but really do not care to talk about it on a public forum. Kudos to those who do. I think when the OP added the part about "dying in a accident abroad" may have struck a wrong note with some. That may be where some of the anger is coming from. Especially for those of us who have actually lost a parent and/or loved one. Look I resepct any man or woman that stands up and does the right thing, especially where a child is involved. I know many have sacrificed their own wants and happiness to do the right thing. I think we have given the OP enough advice and opinions. In the end he will do it his way. I say move on.

 

[Africaida]

Not just quite right, what I mean is something with the situation and /or story. Again we do not know all the details but I don't know there is just something not totally adding up for me but then again its just my thought. I will just add that all this talk about "walking in someone elses shoes". I am pretty sure many of us have walked in these shoes but really do not care to talk about it on a public forum. Kudos to those who do. I think when the OP added the part about "dying in a accident abroad" may have struck a wrong note with some. That may be where some of the anger is coming from. Especially for those of us who have actually lost a parent and/or loved one. Look I resepct any man or woman that stands up and does the right thing, especially where a child is involved. I know many have sacrificed their own wants and happiness to do the right thing. I think we have given the OP enough advice and opinions. In the end he will do it his way. I say move on.

Couldn't have said it better.

 

[bigwhiskey]

Of course this is the much better scenario but how would you have accomplished all of that if you didn`t want to be with the mother?

I don`t find it hard to imagine that he may not be in a solid position to pack up his life and move to the DR to be with them, even if he wanted to.

A lot of kids in the DR grow up well with a loving extended family and quite often the main thing that is missing is cash.
Sounds cold but it is often their reality.

A lot of women and their family and friends don`t take too kindly to being mislead, knocked up, and dumped.
And perhaps he doesn`t have a big tough gun like you?

I wasn't with the mother hell she was just a booty call and like the lays potato chip "you just can't eat one" I kept coming back and went in raw( my stupidy) nine month's later and a dna test that said 99/100 percent you are the father began a 18 year journey no regrets .Hell my stupidy save my life having a baby settled me down as far as my firearms I hunt, shoot,I grew up with them and 8 years military AND MY RIGHT TO BEAR ARM'S THAT WHAT MAKE ME A CITIZEN NOT A SUBJECT

 

[Malibook]

I wasn't with the mother hell she was just a booty call and like the lays potato chip "you just can't eat one" I kept coming back and went in raw( my stupidy) nine month's later and a dna test that said 99/100 percent you are the father began a 18 year journey no regrets .Hell my stupidy save my life having a baby settled me down

Good for you but I would think that women who are willing to hand over their child are in the vast minority.

If I was in a relationship with someone and she got unexpectedly pregnant, I am not sure what I would do as it would depend on many factors.
First of all, does she want to give birth?
How solid is our relationship and how prepared are we emotinally and financially to start a family?
Women have way more say in the matter and it isn`t the father`s option to dump her and keep the baby.
She has the option of dumping me and I would be financially responsible.
We could make a go of it or consider adoption or abortion, but ultimately the latter are her choice.

I know that I would not dump her and fake my death nor would I abandon her until after the DNA test.

 

[bigwhiskey]

Good for you but I would think that women who are willing to hand over their child are in the vast minority.

If I was in a relationship with someone and she got unexpectedly pregnant, I am not sure what I would do as it would depend on many factors.
First of all, does she want to give birth?
How solid is our relationship and how prepared are we emotinally and financially to start a family?
Women have way more say in the matter and it isn`t the father`s option to dump her and keep the baby.
She has the option of dumping me and I would be financially responsible.
We could make a go of it or consider adoption or abortion, but ultimately the latter are her choice.

I know that I would not dump her and fake my death nor would I abandon her until after the DNA test.

We sat down and talked I provided healthcare and child support and I wanted n got generous visitation and overnight's .Abortion hell no walking out on my baby never .

 

[CLEGALBAP]

Get a dna test no doubt about it

:nervous:GET A DNA TEST NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT