Recent content by Audra

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar in Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord...

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to...

http://home.att.net/~hideaway_today/t041/xmas_santa.swf

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby >in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark...

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts. This is considered to be a major break through because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

We had such a good time last time, we want to do it again!:bunny: :bunny: A few of us would like to plan a get together Saturday December 2 at the Friendly Domincian Restaurtant. Anyone interested in coming out, let me know, so I can make reservations. Looking forward to good food, good...

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were in Charge of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St...

Sorry for posting here, but it says I can't send a PM for 27142 seconds. Margaret, Let me know who responds, I can make it till after 9:00 Sorry again - whats happening with the PM? Send me an e-mail to my home address

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he...

A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked...

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Seattle and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You...

I just got back from spending one week in paradise at the Paradisus Palma Real. This resort by far is #1 in Punta Cana, but you pay for what you get. The hotel itself is beautiful. The design and layout is perfect. All the restaurants, theatre, disco etc?are all in the main building which is...

Mujibar was trying to get a job. The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought...

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!" So the married couple...

40 years by Andy Rooney from CBS "60 Minutes". Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a...