Recent content by shadInToronto

  1. S

    Deaf bookkeeper ....

    A mafioso found out his deaf bookkeeper was embezzling from him. He was p!ssed and decided to confront his bookkeeper to get his money back. So, he showed up at the bookkeeper's house with a friend who knew sign language. He immediately told his friend to ask the bookkeeper where the money...
  2. S

    Evenings in paradise ....

    A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach...
  3. S

    God is adonis ....

    A group of little old ladies are having tea. One lady said, "My son is a priest and people address him as 'Father' when he meets them". A second lady said, "My son is a bishop and people say 'The Most Reverend' when they meet him" A third lady said, "Well, my son is a cardinal and people...
  4. S

    Missing husband

    Woman is alarmed that her husband didn't return home after work. She called her neighbour to accompany her to report this to the police. The OIC asked her to describe her husband. She said, "6' 8", blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled features, tight butt, .... " At this point the neighbour...
  5. S

    Scottish atheist

    A Scottish atheist decides to go sailing on Loch Ness. While enjoying the serenity of the Scottish Highlands, suddenly Nessie appeared from the depths of the loch. In an instant, the man shouted, "Oh God, please help me". In a booming voice, God answered, "But, I thought you didn't believe I...
  6. S

    She's a b!tch ...

    Guy goes to his church to see his pastor. The pastor greets him and said, "What can I do for you son?" The man replied, "Father, I think my wife is poisoning me" The pastor then asked him, "What have you done to your wife?" The man replied, "Nothing father, I'm a good husband" The pastor...
  7. S

    DR Government employee

    A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him, 'Were you in the service?' Yes,' he replied. 'I was in the armed forces for three years' The interviewer said, 'That will give you extra points toward employment' and then asked, 'Are you disabled in any way?' The...
  8. S

    Redneck and the chicken

    Why did the redneck cross the street? ... to pick up road kill for lunch. Why did the chicken cross the street? ... to return to the chicken ranch. Why did the redneck cross the street after the chicken? ... of course, to f#$k the chicken.
  9. S

    Redneck taxidermist ...

    A neatly dressed man walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a beer. The bartender gives him his beer and said to him, "Son, ya don' look from 'round these parts, where ya from Son?" The man replied, "No sir, I'm from New York" The bartender asked, "So what ya do in New York, Son?" The man...
  10. S

    Redneck git togetha ...

    What do you call rednecks engaged in an orgy? .... A family reunion.
  11. S

    Redneck genealogy

    What does a redneck calls his sister? .... Mom What does a redneck calls his maternal uncle? .... Dad What does a redneck calls his dad? .... Gramps What does a redneck calls his sister? .... Wife
  12. S

    Ice cream anyone

    What do you call a gay guy who likes ice cream? .... A dairy queen.
  13. S

    me funny

    You're absolutely right. But, why do you think your opinions are superior to others. You've labeled all posters rude and ignorant, aren't you also (rude and ignorant)? State your opinions and don't judge others. :ermm:
  14. S

    Redneck in hell

    Rednecks, Billy Bob and Billy Ray, were good buddies who spent a lot of time together. Billy Bob was the party animal while Billy Ray was the God fearing, church going one. Well they both passed away and Billy Bob ended up in hell while Billy Ray ascended to heaven. One day as Billy Ray...
  15. S

    Redneck food groups

    Jack Daniels: Corn; Bud: Barley; Marlboro: Leafy veggies (tobacco); & Roadkill: Meat - protein and fat