No job, 6month relationship, 15 and talking babies

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DRNED

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What is wrong with people. I was sitting having a coffee with a friend last night and she was telling me of her concern for her younger sister who has been talking babies. Apparently her boyfriend (a bit older and already the father of 2 kids to different women<cough>/girls) has been bugging her to have a baby. She is 15 and we all know how easy we were manipulated at that age, along with knowing it all and the stupidity level being off the scale, we all know she will do whatever loverboy asks, he has a car after all and lives in Boca Chica. Sounds good doesn't it, lol.:ermm:
My friend is worried silly as her sister hasn't even finished education yet, is already putting having a baby above all other priority. Even though this is a serious matter, and my friend is concerned the mother and father seem almost happy about the situation, well,,,,,apparently after belting her across the head a few times they had a cuddle and now everything seems in favour of having a new toy (child) to pay for/play with.

Why do I feel so angry about this, frustrated, I want to shake them and tell them how utterly stupid this is, they have nothing now, what will the baby eat. I don't really know them but it was keeping me awake last night trying to understand how some people are just so fricking dumb they really don't deserve to be on this planet.

Has anyone got their head around this yet, babies and the lack of importance. I must need to take a chill pill as it has me really worked up.

Rant over!
I am aware this is not directly linked to DR, but it is a massive issue with the kids here, where is the education on this matter, do they even have education on this at school here?
 
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J D Sauser

J D Sauser

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The limitless powers of ignorance!

Einstein is quoted for having said something like this:
"Both space (the universe) and stupidity is endless/unlimited... well, stupidity I am definitely certain." ;)

What really gets me is this nation's apparent inability to learn from the errors of those surrounding them.
Especially the making babies part to assure that "she" will have food (provided by the volatile Mamaguebo she got it from), really, really now is the one scheme they are surrounded with evidence DOES NOT work... at least usually never longer than a few months after which comes "solo me quereo por mi bebe", bebe which soon winds up dumped at some family member's home. :bored:



... J-D.
 
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DRNED

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Does anyone know if they do have sex education here?
It may sound silly this day and age but it wouldn't surprise me if they didn't. Are the kids even aware of the precautional options available?
 
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suarezn

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Education, education, education...

Understand several cultural things:
- Babies are not as much work in The DR for the mother as they are let's say in The US. You'll always have someone to leave the kid with (grandparents). The kids pretty much raise themselves with the support of the extended family, thus the mother to be is not thinking about the huge undertaking this is.
- A baby is potentially a way to "keep" a boyfriend / husband from straying away too far. Of course he will have some other girls on the side (99% of Dominican guys do), but this is a way of "amarrarlo" and also use the kid as a bargaining chip when they fight.
- The "to get it out of the way" thinking comes down strictly to a believe that they are "over the hill" when they are bout 25 years old, thus they think they may not be able to get the guy they want at that age so better do this now. Of course anyone in their right mind would think the opposite would be true and you'd want to enjoy your life without any attachments when you're still young and then have the kids when you're "over that hill".

The good thing is this mentality is changing quite a bit in The DR as people get more educated. For instance none of my nephews have any kids yet and a bunch of them are between the ages of 18 and 22. Both me and my brother already had kids at that age.
 
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Chip

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While I certainly don't agree with this young girls actions, I can understand to a certain extent. Dominicans are still family oriented, ie children are typically still considered a blessing and a joy as opposed to a drag on someone's life. As people here are very affectionate with children, it's no wonder that young girls are raised to be good mothers from an early age on.

Suarez makes a good point too that it is easier to raise a child here in the DR than in the States, ie there is always a family member that can watch them if need be among other things.
 
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Chirimoya

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Suarezn sums it up. That mentality is a major obstacle to progress for individuals and for DR society as a whole, IMO.
Although education helps, the mentality persists. I've seen a couple of members of my husband's family - who have had more advantages than many - have their first babies in their mid 20s before finishing university for some of those reasons, and their studies inevitably fall by the wayside.
 
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Chip

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Chirimoya said:
Suarezn sums it up. That mentality is a major obstacle to progress for individuals and for DR society as a whole, IMO.
Although education helps, the mentality persists. I've seen a couple of members of my husband's family - who have had more advantages than many - have their first babies in their mid 20s before finishing university for some of those reasons, and their studies inevitably fall by the wayside.
Click to expand...

Its two sides of the same coin, ie one can only be heads up at the same time. Either family values take precendence or they fall by the wayside; it doesn't appear that there is a viable median. The postive thing is there is a population growth, which is important for a number of reasons. On the other hand Europe has a negative popuation growth because of the change in it's core values. This may seem like progression, but nobody will see it in a matter of generations because they will be nobody around to see it. :)

http://www.goldtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34337
 
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Mason3000

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A friend once explained to me that having lot's of kids is the Dominican "Social Security" system and since most single parents don't give them much time or attention anyhow, it's a no lose situation.
 
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DRNED

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Mason3000 said:
A friend once explained to me that having lot's of kids is the Dominican "Social Security" system and since most single parents don't give them much time or attention anyhow, it's a no lose situation.
Click to expand...

I don't understand!
 
AlterEgo

AlterEgo

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DRNED said:
I don't understand!
Click to expand...

It means that some Dominicans depend on their children to provide for them when they are old. More kids = more $$ down the line.

It's a concept that is very foreign to many non-Dominicans. I personally hope I never need anything except love and visits from my children.

AE
 
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DRNED

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AlterEgo said:
It means that some Dominicans depend on their children to provide for them when they are old. More kids = more $$ down the line.
AE
Click to expand...

Wow, thats stupid, insensitive and probably fails as much as it works out as well as being an unbreakable cycle. I'm unsure where to turn my thoughts on this one.
Is it possible for a country to progress if the people refuse to progress, seems that the biggest cause for lack of opportunity here is sometimes the people themselves refusing to take it.
Alot of talk but not much action maybe?
 
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Chip

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DRNED said:
Wow, thats stupid, insensitive and probably fails as much as it works out as well as being an unbreakable cycle. I'm unsure where to turn my thoughts on this one.
Is it possible for a country to progress if the people refuse to progress, seems that the biggest cause for lack of opportunity here is sometimes the people themselves refusing to take it.
Alot of talk but not much action maybe?
Click to expand...

Say you. However, some of us like the "family" system - there's always lots of love around.
 
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Chirimoya

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Chip said:
Its two sides of the same coin, ie one can only be heads up at the same time. Either family values take precendence or they fall by the wayside; it doesn't appear that there is a viable median. The postive thing is there is a population growth, which is important for a number of reasons. On the other hand Europe has a negative popuation growth because of the change in it's core values. This may seem like progression, but nobody will see it in a matter of generations because they will be nobody around to see it. :)

Europeans are freaking out - Goldtalk Forum
Click to expand...

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Where did I say that having babies was a bad thing? There's nothing wrong with having as many babies as you can afford to care for and educate, provided you've got your own studies behind you and a secure living situation to do it in. Those are responsible family values, IMO.

A culture that condones and even congratulates young girls for dropping sprogs at the age of 14 with the first tiguere that comes along does not equal family values, at least not in my book.
 
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DRNED

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Chip said:
Say you. However, some of us like the "family" system - there's always lots of love around.
Click to expand...

Sounds like people just using each other with a low moral standard. Like you say this is just me, but I don't think people should expect to rely on others to support them if they have no reason for not supporting themselves. It shouldn't be someones obligation.
 
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LaTeacher

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i agree... it's one thing to have a good family system, "lots of love" floating around. but it's something different when your 14 year olds are having kids and you're congratulating them. The cycle just continues each time some kid gets knocked up. Now what happens to that kid? When he/she is 14, she procreates and it happens again!
 
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Chip

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Chirimoya said:
The two are not mutually exclusive.

Where did I say that having babies was a bad thing? There's nothing wrong with having as many babies as you can afford to care for and educate, provided you've got your own studies behind you and a secure living situation to do it in. Those are responsible family values, IMO.

A culture that condones and even congratulates young girls for dropping sprogs at the age of 14 with the first tiguere that comes along does not equal family values, at least not in my book.
Click to expand...

I agree with everything you said with exception of the first comment.
 
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Chip

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Of course being Catholic and having three grils I agree that there is a responsible way to raise a familly.

What I'm saying is that what you are seeing here is just an irresponsible product of the family orientated society we have here; just like a few products of the increasingly career and self minded Western societies are increase of nursing homes where old people go to die a lonely death, decrease in birth rates, increase in juvenile crime as most kids are home alone raising themselves.... etc.....
 
AlterEgo

AlterEgo

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Chip said:
What I'm saying is that what you are seeing here is just an irresponsible product of the family orientated society we have here; just like a few products of the increasingly career and self minded Western societies are increase of nursing homes where old people go to die a lonely death, decrease in birth rates, increase in juvenile crime as most kids are home alone raising themselves.... etc.....
Click to expand...

Very true Chip. Some may criticize some aspects of Dominican culture, but it's rare that an elderly person in DR with any children will end up in a nursing home.

Here in the US there are loads of seniors in nursing homes, and many of them are there simply because their children can't fit them into their lives. My Sicilian grandmother used to say that a mother can care for 11 [the # she had] children, but that 11 children can't care for one mother. Sad but true in most places in the world.

AE
 
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Chirimoya

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If only it were just a few. It's an epidemic of irresponsibility - the consequence of lack of education, positive role models and opportunities, not a by-product of healthy family values.
 
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