I have no title...make something up...thats sounds good and not redundant

RacerX · May 26, 2010

Since what I say falls on deaf ears anyway I wondered what you dudes do.

A friend of mine has the diamonds in her eyes when she thinks of life overseas. At first she wanted to go to Europe because her mother is in Spain. And this afternoon she mentions she wants to go to Argentina "In Search of..."(Marlon Perkins style) with some girlfriends.
I tried to get her to be rationale and understand that all that glitters isnt gold, and just because you re over there earning more money doesnt mean that you are doing any better than you are here.
You cant really advance the argument for striving for political and economic change from within your own country because the response is "You come from the better country so its easy for you to say that".
All that aside, it may be the "better" country and you may be eating better or aspiring better but I m at odds to whether you will be living better.

I guess it is the green grass thing but there has to be more than "Yo busco salida de este pais a salir adelante en mi vida"

Adrian Bye · May 26, 2010

i think you should not only encourage her to go, but do everything you can to help make her dream happen.

not everyone succeeds, but it doesn't mean she shouldn't try. you also might want to consider your own motivations in case they're affecting your advice.

i've helped many dominicans leave the DR over the years. some have fallen on their asses, others have done great. but everyone with a dream deserves a shot.

Black Dog · May 26, 2010

Well put Adrian!

Africaida · May 26, 2010

There is nothing you can do.

After all, your opinion is what it is because you have been lucky to know and live on both "sides". Until she sees the other "side", she won't and can't understand where you are coming from. At best, you can try to bring her back to earth and explain her how to have realistic expectations of the "other side"

Living "better" or quality of life issues are simply foreign concepts for poor people living in poor countries.

RacerX · May 26, 2010

Adrian Bye said:
i think you should not only encourage her to go, but do everything you can to help make her dream happen.

not everyone succeeds, but it doesn't mean she shouldn't try. you also might want to consider your own motivations in case they're affecting your advice.

i've helped many dominicans leave the DR over the years. some have fallen on their asses, others have done great. but everyone with a dream deserves a shot.

Nope. I ll tell you what though, this was one of her options: "marry me and bring me there with you." Nah, not going to fly. But I ll tell her you re interested in that deal. Cause I aint buying it for sht. If you can get there on your own, I ll tell you where to go to have a good time, but jump on my back and I ll run the race for you, no thanks.

I agree with Chip on some aspects of quality of life. Its all relative but if your decision is based on having things(exclusively material things), it may not be worth it. And I m still more along the lines of steadfast political protest to get the change you want. But if you refuse to do it or dont want to then there is no "reality" check that you can give them that will ever put their feet on the ground. I ll tell you factually that when I do that "reality" check jazz they get upset with me, I m weird or odd or strange. because the dream is real and my knowledge is wrong.
And also why would you pick a country with a similar economic situation than the one you re in? Argentina? Spain? Why not Lebanon?

belgiank · May 27, 2010

Any person with a dream, should have a chance to try and realise it... how unreal it may seem...

As Adrian said, a lot will fall on their asses, some will make it... and those some are the important ones....

the ones who fall on their asses, will prob realise their home-country is not that bad after all... and that is what life is all about... experiencing things, falling down, getting up again, etc...

And in fear of repeating myself... why did a lot of us move over here??? We were not satisfied with the life we had in our home-country, and looked for something better or preferably perfect...

In my case I can say the life I have found here is far from perfect, but far more desirable than the one I had in Belgium. So I am happy...

Please... allow people to have their dreams, because, without dreams, life is not worth a whole lot...

el forastero · May 27, 2010

I agree - any person with a dream should have a chance to chase it .... as long as it's on THEIR dime, and not yours.

Daniel10 · May 27, 2010

If she only wants to go with you or with her friends, it means she's not fully comfortable and scared of going alone.
My parents are in the same boat as you. Not agreeing with me to move to DR. But they are more worried about my organisation skills and sad to see me moving even further away than anything else. In the end they do know that I have to do what I think is best. And they will support me in anything I do. Even if they disagree.

Of course it's easier if you have friends that you can trust in a strange country. Without any friends over in the DR I wouldn't dare to take the step myself. But I'm fully aware that I have to depend on myself. And not just my friends.
Sometimes you don't know the exact reasons why somebody wants to pick up and go.
She needs to figure it out, but if she's a bit stubborn, the grass will always be greener on the other side. Even if you know the risks and know it won't be easy, without the correct mentality it won't work. If she has that: Don't worry at all. If not, teach her.
This is still the best advice I've seen in years: DR1 - Living
Buy her a notebook to write down the reasons and have her rationalise it. If she can't do it without wearing dark pink glasses, shocking might solve it a bit.

(edit

And fully agree with Belgiank. Every person should follow their dreams.

Adrian Bye · May 27, 2010

Rephrase: help her as much as you can without taking on personal liability.

PM me her phone number otherwise.

Robert · May 27, 2010

Unfortunately most of our dreams are robbed from us as kids by adults.
Want to be a train driver, want to be an astronaut etc.

Fortunately my parents encouraged my dream of traveling and working all over the planet, despite lots of friends and family saying I was crazy and couldn't make it etc.
7 countries later, I'm still here and doing just fine

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but you're usually much richer and wiser from the experience.

As others have said in this thread, encourage her dreams as much as you can.
She will be eternally thankful, regardless of the outcome.

Frank the Tank · May 27, 2010

Robert said:
Unfortunately most of our dreams are robbed from us as kids by adults.
Want to be a train driver, want to be an astronaut etc.

Fortunately my parents encouraged my dream of traveling and working all over the planet, despite lots of friends and family saying I was crazy and couldn't make it etc.
7 countries later, I'm still here and doing just fine

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but you're usually much richer and wiser from the experience.

As others have said in this thread, encourage her dreams as much as you can.
She will be eternally thankful, regardless of the outcome.

Rob, what were the other 6 countries?

Chelleyyyyy · May 27, 2010

I just have to say that this is the best thread I've come across lately. I usually stop and read most posts, but this one really caught my eye. It's definitely words of encouragement for me

I have so many people from my home country (Canada) telling my my dreams and aspirations of living and working in the Dominican Republic are crazy and I will never make it. I may not, but if I don't at least try .. I'll live the rest of my life with the 'what if' following me around and I just can't have that.

Thanks for insight, keep it coming

Robert · May 27, 2010

Frank the Tank said:
Rob, what were the other 6 countries?

Australia, Japan, Holland, USA, England, Brazil.

Robert · May 27, 2010

Chelleyyyyy said:
I just have to say that this is the best thread I've come across lately. I usually stop and read most posts, but this one really caught my eye. It's definitely words of encouragement for me

I have so many people from my home country (Canada) telling my my dreams and aspirations of living and working in the Dominican Republic are crazy and I will never make it. I may not, but if I don't at least try .. I'll live the rest of my life with the 'what if' following me around and I just can't have that.

Thanks for insight, keep it coming

My biggest fear was looking back and saying, "if only I had done that when I had the chance...".

Most friends and family that give you advice when it comes to living and working in overseas, have never actually done it.

I think you will be very hard pressed to find someone that has, advising you not to do it.

You're on this planet just once, so you better make the most of it

bob saunders · May 27, 2010

My wife thinks I was crazy to let my son go to China to teach English when he was 20. My parents were the opposite, with both of them saying they wish it was them going. Next stop for him will be Japan, then Brazil. Some people are content to stay their whole life in the same neighbourhood, and there's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with going new places, seeing and doing new things. Certainly expands your conciousness. I've only lived in two countries, and for me it's not enough.

DipreSantana · May 27, 2010

Most of the educated Dominicans understand that things seldom change when they go to where they think the grass is greener. With how the US looks now, 9 out of 10 people will fail hard.

Then again, my parents went over there with a dream, and made their money, and are both retired at the ages of 55 and 53, so It can be done, It's just not likely in this economic situation.

For me, nothing changed when I moved from the US to Santiago, I have the same standard of living, the only difference is, it's sunnier here than in Seattle.

RacerX · May 27, 2010

Robert said:
Australia, Japan, Holland, USA, England, Brazil.

Good. You can tell me what A VeggieMite sandwich is then.

And also, I m not against people dreaming or wanting to experience the world, but you have to be prepared for it. You want everyone to maximize their potential and reach over the top and feel the burn, so on and so forth.

But my belief is that a lot of folks here are not prepared for it. They see it all "blueberries and cream" and never ponder what may be in reality "corned beef and saltines". Preparation and anticipation of the errors is the key to obtaining what you want. I hear, "I m going to go there and work." Great statement but its arbitrary in your ability to enforce it. You enter a country that has highly skilled workforce and you dont have those skills nor the interest in possessing them you are coming at a disadvantage. I dont know what its like in Argentine nor Espana but one is a European country with economic problems and the other is a country in South America with a small population and economic problems.
You come from a 1st to a 3rd level country, I suppose their is a way to make it happen. But you go from a 3rd to a 1st, I m not so sure. I m only convinced you can enter enough to displace a present underclass or propagate some system of class struggle.

Berzin · May 27, 2010

Here are two options-

1) Stop playing this game. Stop hanging out with these types of desperados, trying to understand them or teach them a lesson. You're not in the DR to hold reality check seminars for Dominican underdogs.

Hang out with Dominican women with jobs and visas. You won't have to explain anything to these women because they're not looking for Easy Street overseas.

2) Sit down with all these chicas, put this film on and watch it together. Don't say a word after it's done. Let them think it through for themselves if they are at all intellectually capable. If the message doesn't sink in, there is nothing you can say that will help.

Princesas-

YouTube - Trailer Princesas

Alyonka · May 27, 2010

I think she should find herself first, make a life and become happy where she is before even thinking about a change. I was happy where I lived, had lots of friends, family and my own English teaching business. It took me a while to find myself in the US, but I am sure now I can move just about anywhere and will make a good life there. If she is a dependent type of a girl, someone who is looking for someone else (like you) to help her out in life because she does not know how to be and what to do on her own - she will be the same way when she moves - looking for another sugar daddy. Good luck with such good friends!

RacerX · May 28, 2010

Berzin said:
Here are two options-

1) Stop playing this game. Stop hanging out with these types of desperados, trying to understand them or teach them a lesson. You're not in the DR to hold reality check seminars for Dominican underdogs.

Hang out with Dominican women with jobs and visas. You won't have to explain anything to these women because they're not looking for Easy Street overseas.

2) Sit down with all these chicas, put this film on and watch it together. Don't say a word after it's done. Let them think it through for themselves if they are at all intellectually capable. If the message doesn't sink in, there is nothing you can say that will help.

I think she should find herself first, make a life and become happy where she is before even thinking about a change. I was happy where I lived, had lots of friends, family and my own English teaching business. It took me a while to find myself in the US, but I am sure now I can move just about anywhere and will make a good life there. If she is a dependent type of a girl, someone who is looking for someone else (like you) to help her out in life because she does not know how to be and what to do on her own - she will be the same way when she moves - looking for another sugar daddy. Good luck with such good friends!

Hey man, I m a horndog with a heart. Like a Warren Beatty meets James Stewart type. Imagine that type. I could be brash and smash, or tender while trying to mend her. Ha!
Like I say man, preparation...if you re going to go, sounds good. I ll help you as much as getting your mind acclimated to life outside the RD. But bringing you there, ha! you crazy! and half psycho. I never said that.

And that finding yourself part falls on deaf ears. These people see their family come back with fancy handbags, and expensive cell phones, etc. As much as no one here wants to say it, these people are mightily envious of what other people have and what they say they have or have access to.
Thats why they do everything they do which makes sense only to people who have raised children.

I have no title...make something up...thats sounds good and not redundant

Banned

Bronze

Bronze

Gold

Banned

Silver

Bronze

New member

Bronze

Stay Frosty!

Gold

New member

Stay Frosty!

Stay Frosty!

Platinum

New member

Banned

Banned

Silver

Banned