It is with a heavy heart

Freemo

New member
May 26, 2003
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I must announce that my family's brief encounter with this beautiful island is at an end.

After 2 years with my wife and kids living in Santo Domingo and me visiting every 2 months from the UK we have decided that we need to be together and as a result mi esposa y mis dos hijos are flying out tomorrow evening.

Many things have accumulated to bring about this decision.

I will try and outline the main reasons.

1. An apartment we have been waiting to be completed and is now 2 years overdue (95% done) is now in the precarious position whereby the builder doesn't have the funds to complete and his lending bank is becoming impatient with his mounting debt and interest payments. Its not looking good for us, we have paid about 50% up front and really don't know how this will pan out.

2. As a result of the above, my wife and kids have been living in another of our properties, a 4th apartment with no lift.

3. My wife is in need of a 'womans operation' and combine this with point 2 and she is basically worn out physically.

4. My wife has been looking after our 2 kids by herself, and as my daughter is now 13 years old and is a might difficult to say the least, my wife is also mentally exhausted.

5. The basic fact that we dont live together for more than 2 weeks at a time as a family is something we were willing to live with provided we could see some light at the end of the tunnel.

6. I am unable to sell our house in London, (credit crunch) so there's little in the way of tunnel light here.

7. Our savings in Bank Certificates are one by one reaching their term and its a bit of a drop in income when as recently we had to re-new a CD which had a rate of 16% for a new rate of 6% - could have done a bit better than that admittedly but we didnt want to tie it up for more than a year.

Financially I will admit we are in a fairly priviledged position, during the 2 years we have never had to touch any of our capital, we have other properties which provide rental income. But we just had to call it a day.

The kids have made some lovely friends and we are taking them away from them, just like we did when we moved them from the UK 2 years ago. I feel awful in doing this to them again. Everyone says 'kids adapt' but its still going to affect them quite severely.

They went to the Dominico Americano for the 1st year (school is run more like a money making concern than a school)

The 2nd year they have been at APEC (only school I have ever known anywhere where I can honestly say all the kids seem to be happy and bullying doesn't exist - would recommend it strongly)

We have made some fantastic friends and will visit as regularly as we can.

It is still our long-term wish to retire in the DR but it will now be after the children have completed their education. That may include University.

Obviously if it turns out that we are all un-happy here in London, then I will simply sell the house at whatever price I am offered and we'll all come back.

But that is the 'key'. ALL come back - I would never live apart from my family again for all the money in the world.

I have missed 2 years of the kids growing up - I haven't been there to help with their homework or assignments as the Americans say.

Finally I must admit that I am writing this down as a form of release I think. Why else would someone put down their personal trials and tribulations on a message board? I will always peruse DR1.com because the DR will always remain my personal dream, and although I don't contribute much, I feel as if I know so many of the regular posters. So many of whom are so quick to come forward with warm words for people in need.

So I will still be loggin on every day but I will be a liitle happier just to have my family with me. No longer will I be checking the Santo Domingo weather and saying a little 'thank-you' when the temperatures drop a little, knowing how much they suffer from the constant heat as indeed many of you do.

My wife is a Dominicana and I would like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to her and to say that she is one of the kindest and most un-selfish people you could ever wish to meet. She always has a 'little old lady project' on the go. By that I mean she finds a little old lady who lives nearby and literally looks after her as if she were a daughter. She's done it twice in the past 2 years. She'll take them food, medicine, she'll cut their hair, wash them, whatever needs doing. I used to think she was crazy and couldn't understand it but she just makes them feel loved and wanted I guess. She'll not be leaving a 'project' behind as unfortunately neither of them are with us any longer.

And before anyone thinks she may have been performing some kind of euthenasia programme both the old ladies died of natural causes well into their 90's. (ONLY JOKING)

So I'll leave it at that for now. A new chapter in our lives begins. I'll let you know how we all get on.

Thanks for listening (I think of it as listenening rather than reading) even though I've been somewhat long-winded.

As Arnie would say if he was speaking on behalf of himself and his family...

WE'LL BE BACK

Paul
 
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Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
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I'm so sorry it didn't work out as expected. You sound like a lovely family and I'm sorry we didn't get to meet. Best of luck in this next phase and good to hear you'll be staying in touch.
 

Freemo

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May 26, 2003
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I'm so sorry it didn't work out as expected. You sound like a lovely family and I'm sorry we didn't get to meet. Best of luck in this next phase and good to hear you'll be staying in touch.

Chiramoya

I know for a fact that you are a very special person, it is indeed a shame we never met. But who knows what the future might bring.

God bless you for being the person you are.

Hasta luego
 
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belgiank

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Jun 13, 2009
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Wish you all the luck back in England, and hope to meet you when you return here...

The economic crisis is hitting everybody, one way or another...
 

BushBaby

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www.casabush.org
Freemo (Paul)
PM me when/if you feel like it & let me know where in the UK you are situated. Then next time I come across I'll bring an extra case filled with Presidente &/or Dominican coffee!:cheeky: ;) :cheeky: !

Sorry to hear of your leaving but wish you ALL GOOD FORTUNE. Hopefully yesterday's emergency budget will not affect you nastily & allow fairly regular trips home (Santo Domingo & the DR ARE HOME aren't they??????) ~ Grahame
 
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Mar 1, 2009
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Life is always changing, so change is a constant. Your situation may change and you may come back sooner than you think. However if you don't, worry not the DR will be here ready and waiting for you to embrace her once again. You have gained much more appreciation for you kids and wife, so you will be involved now full throttle catching up on the time you feel you have lost. Your children are Dominican and they can come back in the future and re-connect with Quisqeya in the future, we Dominicans do that we just can't stay away from this piece of land. Be well and may you be blessed.
 

rio2003

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Aug 16, 2006
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Hi Paul,

I remember your posts from a couple of years back when there was a lot of soul searching going on and we exchanged a few PM's. Having been in the position myself of having to call it quits and move back to the UK with my heart saying NO and my head saying YES ..... I know how hard it is. I admire you for being brave enough to realise where, collectively, your best interests are.
My very best wishes to you all and Good Luck for the future.
Keep in touch, you hear!
Rio

PS... When Grahame turns up with the Presidente, let me know, I'll be there!!!!
 

Freemo

New member
May 26, 2003
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Wow thanks guys

What a nice bunch of messages, thankyou all sincerely.

We've been busy lately settling back in to our house. I had rented it out and was living with my parents. The tenant was a bit unsavoury to put it mildly and a lot of scrubbing was involved. Its amazing what people can break when they set their minds to it, simply amazing.

We have left all our furniture in Santo Domingo and so my wife is having to buy everything new. She pretends she's put out by this but secretly she LOVES it. LOL

I am so relieved that the kids are happy to be back. They left some wonderful friends behind but I guess they missed me more than I realised. And missed us being together.

It does help that London is basking in fabulous weather at present so its not all cold rain and cloudy skies just yet.

For the first time in nearly 2 years my wife looks like she is relaxing but I'm still looking forward to the sparkling care-free smile and laugh that she once bewitched me with.

She is loving the cool breezes in the evening and sitting in our garden surrounded by trees and peace and quiet. No motor conchos buzzing around like flies, no car alarms sounding time and again. Hush. Imagine.

That is until my daughter puts on her Daddy Yankee CD ( which I really like as it happens) or her reggaeton (sp ?) then ups the volume to Santo Domingo levels and we all start smiling and enjoying the sounds of home. I have managed to get my bachata and merenge on a few times but it seems to mysteriously eject all by itself after a track or two. Strange.

We are so happy back together I can't begin to tell you.

Evertime I visited in the DR for 2 weeks at a time it was stress from start to finish. I would arrive ready for a wonderful 2 weeks, they would be waiting expectantly for me to bring some change into their lives but alas, I brought my stress over with me lookng to my wife to understand how unhappy and lonely I had been and she was waiting to unload her problems onto me. Only fair really, you can only truly un-burden yourself onto your nearest and dearest.

So the visits became almost a hurtful experience in themselves.

Lesson learned anyway. I feel stronger for the whole experience. I feel more confident. I know that problems we will undoubtedly face as we go through life will be that bit easier to cope with because we can put them into some kind of perspective. Together we can get through troubled times. Alone I felt hopeless at times and my dreams for the future faded and seemed to become forgotten. But they are still there. I love the DR, I love the constant unbearable heat, I love the music everywhere, I love the chaos and the hilarious everydays sights and sounds and I love the Chimi churis (sp ?) and the 'is it or isn't it safe to eat roast pork sandwiches' I love em anyway and I didn't ever suffer so much as indigestion.

So, I am relieved, happy, tired, emotional, looking forward to coming home from work and seeing the kids fighting or my wife moaning about the washing machine breaking down. HaHA - yes I will be happy whatever. We are together.

I am sitting at my desk at work right now and, hey you know what I'm trying not let anyone see I've tears in my eyes, but happy tears AT LAST!!!!

We will be back. When the kids finish their schooling, Daysi and I will be heading home, thats for sure. The kids will be able, by that time, to decide whether they want to stay in the UK or come back with us. But they will be mature enough not to need to live under our wings by that time and so if they decide to stay here we can be happy for them while we take our retirement and take up our dream once again (albeit delayed slightly but not forsaken)

We were surprised that so many neighbours turned out to welcome them back. Its was great to see that the British are not as reserved and privacy-seeking as we used to think. We will make a little Dominican enclave in our area and the neighbours will benefit from that. Daysi has already got her latest project lined up, (see previous post for definition of 'project') that being my 80 year old mum who simply loves the attention she gives her. My dad hasn't had a hair-cut for months because he likes they way she cuts it. Although how she can bring herself to do his ear-hair and nostril hair I simply don't know, Yuk.

Well friends, thanks again for your kind words, and best wishes. I'd better get on with some work I suppose. I'll catch you all later.

Paul
 

Lucille

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Jan 14, 2007
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freemo:
beautiful post, it touched my heart...
Wishing you and your beautiful family the best..
Congratulations....
 
C

carribbeanprincess

Guest
good luck to Paul

Paul,

Good luck. You guys sound like a lovely family. Your wife sounds like an angel.

When I was 10 years old, I too had to leave my country of origin and move to the U.S It was difficult, but I adjusted.

Now 30 years later, I am doing a second immigration from U.S to DR Scared and excited, but scared nonetheless.

Everything works out, and everything comes to an end and has a new beginning..good and bad.

May G-D bless you and your family..
 

rio2003

Bronze
Aug 16, 2006
1,233
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Welcome back all of you. I love reading your posts. Let's hope the weather stays great and we have a long hot summer.

Rio
 
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Freemo

New member
May 26, 2003
314
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Thank you

freemo:
beautiful post, it touched my heart...
Wishing you and your beautiful family the best..
Congratulations....

You know I've discovered over the years that the world is bursting with truly lovely people. They must outnumber the bad ones by billions to one. Its a really heart-warming feeling when you meet these people in everyday life. They give you a lift, its such a simple thing but enriches your own life.

I was brought up as a child in a secure and caring family environment. But I must say that my parents were never over demonstrative in the 'dishing out affection' department. So when I met my Dominican wife Daysi and her friends and family it was a real eye opener to me as to exactly loving and affectionate people can be even with relative strangers.

Due to my Dominican experience I have benefited massively in emotional terms. I was always of the impression that I was a kind person, but in reality I was only a kind person in thought and rarely in deed. I have had that corrected now and am a much better person for it I believe.
 

Freemo

New member
May 26, 2003
314
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And good luck to you too

Paul,

Good luck. You guys sound like a lovely family. Your wife sounds like an angel.

When I was 10 years old, I too had to leave my country of origin and move to the U.S It was difficult, but I adjusted.

Now 30 years later, I am doing a second immigration from U.S to DR Scared and excited, but scared nonetheless.

Everything works out, and everything comes to an end and has a new beginning..good and bad.

May G-D bless you and your family..


There are loads of nice people on this message board and plenty of them based in the DR so if you need anything look to them for help and advice, you won't go wrong.
 

Freemo

New member
May 26, 2003
314
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0
Thankyou Rio

Welcome back all of you. I love reading your posts. Let's hope the weather stays great and we have a long hot summer.

Rio

Yes indeed, looks like it will be a good summer this year.

If someone could just hoover up the pollen though I would be very grateful and a lot less puffy eyed and snotty nosed.