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Thread: WARNING: Stay Off My Roads at Night

  1. #1
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    Default WARNING: Stay Off My Roads at Night

    I’ve had it.

    No more Mr. Nice Guy.
    No more Mr. Clean
    No more Mister Nice Guy
    They say he's sick, he's obscene

    ()

    I’m no longer kidding around.

    To all you on the roads going from Jarabacoa and to Santiago Sunday night, you done tipped me over the edge. You done woke up that sleeping dawg.

    So I did it. In a festering "blind" rage, I ordered the local Atomic Energy Commission to change the high-beams on the family sled.

    What were once PC mild-mannered factory equipped standard incandescent headlights…your grandfather's headlights...are now Xenon Zombie Death Night Raiders. 19 volts of pure photon Badness, wattage and lumens only an abacus run by a Chinese CPA can calculate.

    I don’t mean a tad brighter than stock.

    No siree Bob. Not for me. I don't do anything "just a little."

    I mean 2500 gigawatt nukuler powered laser beams that will melt the friggin’ paint off an oncoming car from 600 yards. Lights so bright retina banks won’t take your peepers. So much energy you’re a/c system is rendered impotent.

    Hell, the mechanic had to wash himself with heavy water from a nukuler plant to make the geiger counter quiet down enough to sound like a Buddy Miles-on-acid drum solo...

    So I warn you: you drive toward me with YOUR brights on at night, after repeated polite flashes to dim, you’ll be seeing “floaters” well past the bandages coming off and the facial radiation burns healing.

    Henceforth, I will flash once. Once. Not twice. Not three times. Once. My suggestion is to dim your lights. Because if you don’t, you’ll be looking for the summer noon sun for comparative visual relief from my headlight fission chaos.

    Pass the word…






    Seriously, I have finally found "acceptance" that most Dominicans who drive at night don't think blinding oncoming traffic is a problem. So the brights stay on no matter what. OK, fine. I need to see too, so I'll have ~zero~ sympathy for oncoming traffic with their high-beams on when they catch a few thousand roentgens of solar fusion eminating from my new brght headlights. None.

  2. #2
    El Tigre de DR1 - Moderator
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    I don't blame you. If I were in your shoes I'd do the same thing. It irritates the hell out of me when I flash for them to dim and they don't.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by cobraboy View Post
    I’ve had it.

    No more Mr. Nice Guy.
    No more Mr. Clean
    No more Mister Nice Guy
    They say he's sick, he's obscene

    ()

    I’m no longer kidding around.

    To all you on the roads going from Jarabacoa and to Santiago Sunday night, you done tipped me over the edge. You done woke up that sleeping dawg.

    So I did it. In a festering "blind" rage, I ordered the local Atomic Energy Commission to change the high-beams on the family sled.

    What were once PC mild-mannered factory equipped standard incandescent headlights…your grandfather's headlights...are now Xenon Zombie Death Night Raiders. 19 volts of pure photon Badness, wattage and lumens only an abacus run by a Chinese CPA can calculate.

    I don’t mean a tad brighter than stock.

    No siree Bob. Not for me. I don't do anything "just a little."

    I mean 2500 gigawatt nukuler powered laser beams that will melt the friggin’ paint off an oncoming car from 600 yards. Lights so bright retina banks won’t take your peepers. So much energy you’re a/c system is rendered impotent.

    Hell, the mechanic had to wash himself with heavy water from a nukuler plant to make the geiger counter quiet down enough to sound like a Buddy Miles-on-acid drum solo...

    So I warn you: you drive toward me with YOUR brights on at night, after repeated polite flashes to dim, you’ll be seeing “floaters” well past the bandages coming off and the facial radiation burns healing.

    Henceforth, I will flash once. Once. Not twice. Not three times. Once. My suggestion is to dim your lights. Because if you don’t, you’ll be looking for the summer noon sun for comparative visual relief from my headlight fission chaos.

    Pass the word…






    Seriously, I have finally found "acceptance" that most Dominicans who drive at night don't think blinding oncoming traffic is a problem. So the brights stay on no matter what. OK, fine. I need to see too, so I'll have ~zero~ sympathy for oncoming traffic with their high-beams on when they catch a few thousand roentgens of solar fusion eminating from my new brght headlights. None.
    If only i could install them on my rentals.

  4. #4
    Stay Frosty!
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    Bundle up 10 laser pointers and wire them into one switch.

    They don't dim the headlights, but thats usually because they are busy avoiding the on-coming tree

  5. #5
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    sorry I dont agree with joining the uneducated masses, I will continue to drive as instructed by my driving instructor

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrhartley View Post
    sorry I dont agree with joining the uneducated masses, I will continue to drive as instructed by my driving instructor
    Then you'll receive my kind, gentle, PC, environmentally friendly and socially-conscious pedestrian lights.

    YOU will have nothing to fear...

  7. #7
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    Two blinded drivers on the road just about doubles the risk of an accident.

    Road rage never really benefited anyone.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by cobraboy View Post
    I’ve had it.

    No more Mr. Nice Guy.
    No more Mr. Clean
    No more Mister Nice Guy
    They say he's sick, he's obscene

    ()

    I’m no longer kidding around.

    To all you on the roads going from Jarabacoa and to Santiago Sunday night, you done tipped me over the edge. You done woke up that sleeping dawg.

    So I did it. In a festering "blind" rage, I ordered the local Atomic Energy Commission to change the high-beams on the family sled.

    What were once PC mild-mannered factory equipped standard incandescent headlights…your grandfather's headlights...are now Xenon Zombie Death Night Raiders. 19 volts of pure photon Badness, wattage and lumens only an abacus run by a Chinese CPA can calculate.

    I don’t mean a tad brighter than stock.

    No siree Bob. Not for me. I don't do anything "just a little."

    I mean 2500 gigawatt nukuler powered laser beams that will melt the friggin’ paint off an oncoming car from 600 yards. Lights so bright retina banks won’t take your peepers. So much energy you’re a/c system is rendered impotent.

    Hell, the mechanic had to wash himself with heavy water from a nukuler plant to make the geiger counter quiet down enough to sound like a Buddy Miles-on-acid drum solo...

    So I warn you: you drive toward me with YOUR brights on at night, after repeated polite flashes to dim, you’ll be seeing “floaters” well past the bandages coming off and the facial radiation burns healing.

    Henceforth, I will flash once. Once. Not twice. Not three times. Once. My suggestion is to dim your lights. Because if you don’t, you’ll be looking for the summer noon sun for comparative visual relief from my headlight fission chaos.

    Pass the word…






    Seriously, I have finally found "acceptance" that most Dominicans who drive at night don't think blinding oncoming traffic is a problem. So the brights stay on no matter what. OK, fine. I need to see too, so I'll have ~zero~ sympathy for oncoming traffic with their high-beams on when they catch a few thousand roentgens of solar fusion eminating from my new brght headlights. None.
    So the next time the power goes out can you drive over to my boyfriend's family's house and park in their driveway shining your lights in to illuminate their house? LOL I'm sure his sister in law will cook you something nice in return... ha ha..

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by catcherintherye View Post
    Two blinded drivers on the road just about doubles the risk of an accident.

    Road rage never really benefited anyone.
    Good thing you don't live here then and not dim your lights when I approach. Otherwise


  10. #10
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    This humble soul would request the information relative to the acquisiton of said proton lights if available for use on lowly VW Golfs...

    I, too, suffer from this aversion by the local populace to lower their beams...

    OR, a light bulb just popped up, did you mount these atomic powered photon beams on a light rack above your shuttle????

    Humbly,

    HB

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