Quit asking me for money!!!!

InsanelyOne

Bronze
Oct 21, 2008
895
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<rant>
EVERY Dominican I have attempted to have any sort of acquaintance/friendship with has asked me at least once for money. I don't live an extravagant life or drive a fancy car. I'm very low key and pretty much keep to myself. Why is it they insist on asking me for money? I made the mistake of loaning US$150 to a "friend" so his "wife" could get an ultrasound. He said he'd pay it back in a week and sure enough he did. But that seems to have opened up the flood banks as he now thinks I'm his personal ATM. I haven't loaned him a dime since then but that hasn't stopped him from asking. And EVERY time I say no he gets all sad-eyed and walks away with his head down like I just scolded him. A grown freakin' man acting like a twelve year old. What's with these people!!!
</rant>

There... I feel better now. Thanks for listening.
 
May 24, 2009
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www.swellsurfcamp.com
You'll have to toughen up I'm afraid. Been happening for years and will always be the case; still we can always be taken aback even after becoming used to this for so long. For example, an older, kindly (seemingly) moto concho driver was always around the entrance to our apartments......I began to use him to take our guests to and from places if they needed a moto - had his number in my phone; generously paid him for collecting pizza takeaways for us. This all lasted for about 3 weeks - I thought he really 'got it'; make a connection with someone who can help you out for a sustained period.

Until....he come to the hotel one day and asks me for 1000 pesos - no reason, no-one dying, no other emergency, just wanted a 1000 pesos. I told him, as I always do; I'm not a Bank, I cannot help you. He hasn't 'spoken' to me for the last 2 weeks, he turns his back on me when I arrive at my apartment. I just shrug my shoulders; it's his loss - we don't use him anymore.

If you stay in the DR, you will get it from many Dominicans, but, we also have staff who never ask us for extra cash or a loan because they do 'get it'. There are good and bad, it's just a case of working out which is which and clearly after more than 6 years, I'm still learning.
 
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ExtremeR

Silver
Mar 22, 2006
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<rant>
EVERY Dominican I have attempted to have any sort of acquaintance/friendship with has asked me at least once for money. I don't live an extravagant life or drive a fancy car. I'm very low key and pretty much keep to myself. Why is it they insist on asking me for money? I made the mistake of loaning US$150 to a "friend" so his "wife" could get an ultrasound. He said he'd pay it back in a week and sure enough he did. But that seems to have opened up the flood banks as he now thinks I'm his personal ATM. I haven't loaned him a dime since then but that hasn't stopped him from asking. And EVERY time I say no he gets all sad-eyed and walks away with his head down like I just scolded him. A grown freakin' man acting like a twelve year old. What's with these people!!!
</rant>

There... I feel better now. Thanks for listening.


Loan him with interest, and I mean shark rates interest. He will try to find another way of financing himself.
 

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
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$150 US for an ultrasound? hahahaha. man they really take you for a sucker.
Find better quality Dominicans to be friends with and you will have zero problems.
AZB
 
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Africaida

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Jun 19, 2009
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$150 US for an ultrasound? hahahaha. man they really take you for a sucker.
Find better quality Dominicans to be friends with and you will have zero problems.
AZB

Well, at least, he returned the money (unless it was a tactic)
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
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Funny his ultrasound was not free, all our pre natal and follow up tests and treatment was free, why does he have to pay, he is Dominican right, only pay for actual medicine or voluntary treatments, ultra sound is not a voluntary treatment, it is part of pre natal care, free!!

The only person responsible for your adoptive brothers bothering you for money is you. Somehow you have lined yourself into this position. It is common among visitors, or people down the tourist areas as they like the feeling of authority through thickness of the wallet, admit it or not, 99.9% of this is self inflicted.

The top and bottom of it is if you look or act like you are either daft enough to give money away, or money is not a factor in you life, or you will give up to intimidation you are a mark, you will continue to be hassled. It is true there is no getting away from it on the North until your face is known and accepted as a permanant fixture.

I found that if you are firm and very direct with Domincans they will not like it at first, but they will respect you for it, and eventually you will be accepted to some level, maybe even an equal, and they never ask each other for money, they won't lower themselves to each other.
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
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Sueltame de banda

And take his cedula also, charge him 12% interest rate for a loan.
You can also say: Sueltame de banda. (which is rude).

Once I gave 2500 usd to carpinter, David Echavarria (from Santo Domingo), and he ran away.
Well it was a "third time":
1. First time.
2. Last time.
3. And never again.

Yea, that cedula routine shuts people down for sure. Sueltame de banda, huh? Well, even if its rude, its more polite than what I say. I d like to tell you but Robert wouldnt like that. Haha! Its so not family oriented.
 

baby bori

New member
May 18, 2010
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Hi guys I know this may be a bit off topic but I just bought an apartment and I'm looking to furnish it with furniture. You guys think I could purchase good caoba living room furniture for RD$75000-$80000 pesos and dining room set for like RD$70000-$75000 pesos??? I'm just trying to get a ballpark figure estimation to save up some cash to go there soon.
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
376
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I found that if you are firm and very direct with Domincans they will not like it at first, but they will respect you for it, and eventually you will be accepted to some level, maybe even an equal, and they never ask each other for money, they won't lower themselves to each other.

Thats not true. If they didnt respect you then they dont respect you now. What it is is that they bet the house that you d fall for the nonsense and you didnt but there is nothing they can do. You make it sound as though they appreciate you when in reality its as though they tolerate you. They dont ask themselves for money because they dont have it and those that do would give them the riot act. But you as an outsider are seen to be bathing in money, dont need it and surely would love to give it to me.

And why bother to be accepted as an equal. Your friends of an equal economic status will pay you back and not ask you for large sums of money for spurious things. $150 Ultrasound?
The only way the OP will ever deal with this problem is to do like AZB says and hang with better people or like me and scream on a clown everytime it happens. Real cold brute Chuck Norris type force.
 

beeza

Silver
Nov 2, 2006
3,479
731
113
Hi guys I know this may be a bit off topic but I just bought an apartment and I'm looking to furnish it with furniture. You guys think I could purchase good caoba living room furniture for RD$75000-$80000 pesos and dining room set for like RD$70000-$75000 pesos??? I'm just trying to get a ballpark figure estimation to save up some cash to go there soon.

VERY off topic indeed!

My I suggest another thread, or even start one of your own?
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
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You're off on another arguement with yourself RacerX. I said if you are firm and direct then it gets through, you can scream all you like but I like to consider myself a little more chilled than that, you? I don't know you but carry on!
I am not seen as someone with money quite the oposite and that is clear where I live, who I live around, and how I live and carry myself around others. Hence my insight into how I figure the mind works for many (certain types) here, although I haven't witnessed any of this since living in the Capital (I get respect unlike many willy wavers I could talk about, but won't), but I saw it regularly on the North.
My views, I guess many others are different, I won't scream about it:cheeky:
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
376
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You're off on another arguement with yourself RacerX. I said if you are firm and direct then it gets through, you can scream all you like but I like to consider myself a little more chilled than that, you? I don't know you but carry on!
I am not seen as someone with money quite the oposite and that is clear where I live, who I live around, and how I live and carry myself around others. Hence my insight into how I figure the mind works for many (certain types) here, although I haven't witnessed any of this since living in the Capital (I get respect unlike many willy wavers I could talk about, but won't), but I saw it regularly on the North.
My views, I guess many others are different, I won't scream about it:cheeky:

I doubt it. Ddnt you start an entire thread about inocuously offending people by calling them stupid even though when what you meant was what they were doing is uninformed or naive? Thats as close to screaming as what I do. Isnt it?
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
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Thats not true. If they didnt respect you then they dont respect you now. QUOTE]

A basic passing and life lesson RacerX, respect if earned, respect given without due is worthless, maybe you should regroup your thoughts a little, or try listening to others, maybe you could gain some respect?:ermm:
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
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I doubt it. Ddnt you start an entire thread about calling people stupid?

Like many others on this forum have made the same mistake, with the same use of language. Seems an education for many here, adapting to certain words and phrases, I am not a native speaker, nor claim to be fluent.
I do however post here to learn from others and whos knowledge is obvious not those second guessing or remembering a statement or opinion posted from a well respected and knowledgable member many threads ago. I do not know it all, very far from. Unlike ........... Oh why bother, I left the schoolyard a long time ago!
Carry on sunshine, educate me!!

I suggest we avoid each other or we will be getting an mail to stop the bicking or go on vacation very soon.
 
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Africaida

Gold
Jun 19, 2009
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I thought he really 'got it'; make a connection with someone who can help you out for a sustained period.

The exact same thing happened to me with a Motoconcho I was using daily to run errants. One day, after a couple of weeks, he showed up and asked me for a prestamo of 500 pesos. I was so ****ed. I just said No, I don't justify myself to strangers and gave him my killer looks (i have very expressive eyes). The next day, he came and apologized, but it was too late our business relationship was over.:eek:gre:

Looking back, I could only blame myself, I realized that I was too "friendly" with him. I learned my lesson though.

I can't even imagine what it is like for expats.
 

RacerX

Banned
Nov 22, 2009
3,390
376
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The exact same thing happened to me with a Motoconcho I was using daily to run errants. One day, after a couple of weeks, he showed up and asked me for a prestamo of 500 pesos. I was so ****ed. I just said No, I don't justify myself to strangers and gave him my killer looks (i have very expressive eyes). The next day, he came and apologized, but it was too late our business relationship was over.:eek:gre:

Looking back, I could only blame myself, I realized that I was too "friendly" with him. I learned my lesson though.

I can't even imagine what it is like for expats.

You left out HOW he asked you. That was the funny part.
 

yacht chef

Bronze
Sep 13, 2009
1,588
17
38
Do any of you have any trouble from all these people you seam to **** off when you tell them to bug off I was scared of making enemies and not feel comfortable coming home at night after i tell them i don't want to give you any money and get the f away from me.
 

Anastacio

Banned
Feb 22, 2010
2,965
235
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Dont tell them to foff, you deserve a slap in any country for that attitude. Just be confident in yourself, carry yourself strongly and look him in the eye when you tell him that is not an option, get a job, turn your back and ignore him, don't make any more eye contact, done.
 

ExtremeR

Silver
Mar 22, 2006
3,078
328
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Guys, keep in mind that informal credit is huge in the DR. I and all my friends were constantly asking for little loans US$100.00 to repay later which we always did. Is part of the culture. This is a phenomena that is not predominant in the US and it comes as a shock when you first gets approached about it.

The reason why he is approaching the OP and not somebody else is because others lend him with redito (extremely high interest rates) and he saves money loaning from you while you assume all the risk. That's why I suggested you to offer the loan with interest. One thing you can be glad of, he sure paid the first loan, so he is serious.

Remember, if a Dominican approach you asking for loaned money, don't get offended, just be creative and ask for either a guarantee that you will be paid back or discouragethem by suggesting a loan with a high interest rate :D