I decided to post this thread as a response to "Poor Dominican Woman" as an alternative/complimenting view to the escalation in domestic violence in the DR. Originally, this was a reply I made within that thread, but I think it would be overlooked as such and decided to post it here. Note to all: This isnt the ABSOLUTE reason WHY domestic violence happens, but one of many, which have yet to be discussed...
Now, to begin, I do not condone violence against women in any shape, way, form or fashion and would beat the brakes off any man abusing a woman, BUT, here in DR, I would say its another story. People's conception of relationships here vary wildly from the norm -and by norm I mean that which foreigners are normally accustomed to. It is partially due to ignorance, upbringing, and economical factors beyond the scope of this post. Neverthless, I have yet to meet a woman here that is thoroughly uninterested in a man's finances and what he can bring to the table. To be sincere, that is the first thing a woman looks at: what u drive and how much money you make. While this is the case in alot of places, it is more pronounced here for whatever reason. As a result, IMO alot of these women bring the violence on to themselves by trying to play both sides of the fence, between "serious" and "flirty." Then when caught by their man who happens to slave his ass off for $200 dollars a month to support her, she will either deny it or go into "outrage" mode! Then they get what they got coming...
Let me tell you a little story: the other day I met a lovely dominican girl; we exchanged numbers and got to knowing each other. Turns out, she's a virgin, goes to school, and lives with her mother. I found this out on our second date when I tried to pull a move on her. I was like, well then, I have me a keeper! lol If only the truth were so simple! Well to make a long story short, on our subsequent date we get somewhere and start getting intimate -at the end of the date, I find out that not only is/was she NOT a virgin, but she also has a child AND a man (in the states)! To be honest, I wasn't surprised -just took it with a grain of salt. I did keep seeing her with the understanding that things can not evolve beyond what we have and she understood. Her reason for not telling me truth was that she didnt wanna "scare me" away... Anyway, she claims her husband is a violent person, that he beats her and she is only "with" him because of the child, but then I came to find out she has OTHER men as well and all of them except for me, get aggressive with her and she doesnt know what to do to make them leave her alone. -and its TRUE, these dudes stalk her and constantly call to the point where she has to turn her phone off. Now, I know this all sounds crazy, but in the past even I used to get possesive of my women (I am Dominican), but I've learned that the more you try to possess the further away you push them into seeing others and in the end, once the man finds out, there's serious problems.
Ok, as far this girl, she is head over heels in love with me now -because in her own words I "dont fall for her" which you can interpret "her" as being her b.s. and has on a few occasions tried to get me to move her in with me... In the meantime, her poor husband sends her $$$ from NY to support her and her child and she's running around with other men having the time of her life! He already gave her 6 stitches :hurt: in her head a few years back, just cause she was talking to a friend of hers, so I'm like why would you even be with him? Or if you're gonna be with him then, at least have the decency to be respectful. She's like, "I do what I want because I dont like to be controlled." Un-freaking-believable!
Needless to say, I stopped seeing her -I have no need to be famous for 5 minutes on the news as the victim within a love triangle, but just wanted to post this so as to shed some light on this topic, since sometimes the "victims" aren't just plain victims but are co-aggressors in these outcomes. 2 wrongs dont make a right! And for those that still think that these women are never to blame, I will tell you this: Dominican men are taught from birth to respect their women and to never hit/abuse them and that's why we have that "swag" that attracts so many cultures unto us, because we give off that vibe of security, knowing how to treat a woman and whatnot, and as a result we may attract more women than we have the heart to reject, BUT, as a man, its a real pain in the butt, when you think you and your mate are on the same page and you come to see that it is otherwise... I think this is a reason why alot of Dominican men are possesive -cuz most women down here make it seem like you're only as good as your checkbook. Peace!
Now, to begin, I do not condone violence against women in any shape, way, form or fashion and would beat the brakes off any man abusing a woman, BUT, here in DR, I would say its another story. People's conception of relationships here vary wildly from the norm -and by norm I mean that which foreigners are normally accustomed to. It is partially due to ignorance, upbringing, and economical factors beyond the scope of this post. Neverthless, I have yet to meet a woman here that is thoroughly uninterested in a man's finances and what he can bring to the table. To be sincere, that is the first thing a woman looks at: what u drive and how much money you make. While this is the case in alot of places, it is more pronounced here for whatever reason. As a result, IMO alot of these women bring the violence on to themselves by trying to play both sides of the fence, between "serious" and "flirty." Then when caught by their man who happens to slave his ass off for $200 dollars a month to support her, she will either deny it or go into "outrage" mode! Then they get what they got coming...
Let me tell you a little story: the other day I met a lovely dominican girl; we exchanged numbers and got to knowing each other. Turns out, she's a virgin, goes to school, and lives with her mother. I found this out on our second date when I tried to pull a move on her. I was like, well then, I have me a keeper! lol If only the truth were so simple! Well to make a long story short, on our subsequent date we get somewhere and start getting intimate -at the end of the date, I find out that not only is/was she NOT a virgin, but she also has a child AND a man (in the states)! To be honest, I wasn't surprised -just took it with a grain of salt. I did keep seeing her with the understanding that things can not evolve beyond what we have and she understood. Her reason for not telling me truth was that she didnt wanna "scare me" away... Anyway, she claims her husband is a violent person, that he beats her and she is only "with" him because of the child, but then I came to find out she has OTHER men as well and all of them except for me, get aggressive with her and she doesnt know what to do to make them leave her alone. -and its TRUE, these dudes stalk her and constantly call to the point where she has to turn her phone off. Now, I know this all sounds crazy, but in the past even I used to get possesive of my women (I am Dominican), but I've learned that the more you try to possess the further away you push them into seeing others and in the end, once the man finds out, there's serious problems.
Ok, as far this girl, she is head over heels in love with me now -because in her own words I "dont fall for her" which you can interpret "her" as being her b.s. and has on a few occasions tried to get me to move her in with me... In the meantime, her poor husband sends her $$$ from NY to support her and her child and she's running around with other men having the time of her life! He already gave her 6 stitches :hurt: in her head a few years back, just cause she was talking to a friend of hers, so I'm like why would you even be with him? Or if you're gonna be with him then, at least have the decency to be respectful. She's like, "I do what I want because I dont like to be controlled." Un-freaking-believable!
Needless to say, I stopped seeing her -I have no need to be famous for 5 minutes on the news as the victim within a love triangle, but just wanted to post this so as to shed some light on this topic, since sometimes the "victims" aren't just plain victims but are co-aggressors in these outcomes. 2 wrongs dont make a right! And for those that still think that these women are never to blame, I will tell you this: Dominican men are taught from birth to respect their women and to never hit/abuse them and that's why we have that "swag" that attracts so many cultures unto us, because we give off that vibe of security, knowing how to treat a woman and whatnot, and as a result we may attract more women than we have the heart to reject, BUT, as a man, its a real pain in the butt, when you think you and your mate are on the same page and you come to see that it is otherwise... I think this is a reason why alot of Dominican men are possesive -cuz most women down here make it seem like you're only as good as your checkbook. Peace!