Response to "Poor Dominican Woman" thread

Damyan

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Jun 19, 2011
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I decided to post this thread as a response to "Poor Dominican Woman" as an alternative/complimenting view to the escalation in domestic violence in the DR. Originally, this was a reply I made within that thread, but I think it would be overlooked as such and decided to post it here. Note to all: This isnt the ABSOLUTE reason WHY domestic violence happens, but one of many, which have yet to be discussed...

Now, to begin, I do not condone violence against women in any shape, way, form or fashion and would beat the brakes off any man abusing a woman, BUT, here in DR, I would say its another story. People's conception of relationships here vary wildly from the norm -and by norm I mean that which foreigners are normally accustomed to. It is partially due to ignorance, upbringing, and economical factors beyond the scope of this post. Neverthless, I have yet to meet a woman here that is thoroughly uninterested in a man's finances and what he can bring to the table. To be sincere, that is the first thing a woman looks at: what u drive and how much money you make. While this is the case in alot of places, it is more pronounced here for whatever reason. As a result, IMO alot of these women bring the violence on to themselves by trying to play both sides of the fence, between "serious" and "flirty." Then when caught by their man who happens to slave his ass off for $200 dollars a month to support her, she will either deny it or go into "outrage" mode! Then they get what they got coming...
Let me tell you a little story: the other day I met a lovely dominican girl; we exchanged numbers and got to knowing each other. Turns out, she's a virgin, goes to school, and lives with her mother. I found this out on our second date when I tried to pull a move on her. :D I was like, well then, I have me a keeper! lol If only the truth were so simple! Well to make a long story short, on our subsequent date we get somewhere and start getting intimate -at the end of the date, I find out that not only is/was she NOT a virgin, but she also has a child AND a man (in the states)! To be honest, I wasn't surprised -just took it with a grain of salt. I did keep seeing her with the understanding that things can not evolve beyond what we have and she understood. Her reason for not telling me truth was that she didnt wanna "scare me" away... Anyway, she claims her husband is a violent person, that he beats her and she is only "with" him because of the child, but then I came to find out she has OTHER men as well and all of them except for me, get aggressive with her and she doesnt know what to do to make them leave her alone. -and its TRUE, these dudes stalk her and constantly call to the point where she has to turn her phone off. Now, I know this all sounds crazy, but in the past even I used to get possesive of my women (I am Dominican), but I've learned that the more you try to possess the further away you push them into seeing others and in the end, once the man finds out, there's serious problems.
Ok, as far this girl, she is head over heels in love with me now -because in her own words I "dont fall for her" which you can interpret "her" as being her b.s. and has on a few occasions tried to get me to move her in with me... :confused: In the meantime, her poor husband sends her $$$ from NY to support her and her child and she's running around with other men having the time of her life! He already gave her 6 stitches :hurt: in her head a few years back, just cause she was talking to a friend of hers, so I'm like why would you even be with him? Or if you're gonna be with him then, at least have the decency to be respectful. She's like, "I do what I want because I dont like to be controlled." Un-freaking-believable!
Needless to say, I stopped seeing her -I have no need to be famous for 5 minutes on the news as the victim within a love triangle, but just wanted to post this so as to shed some light on this topic, since sometimes the "victims" aren't just plain victims but are co-aggressors in these outcomes. 2 wrongs dont make a right! And for those that still think that these women are never to blame, I will tell you this: Dominican men are taught from birth to respect their women and to never hit/abuse them and that's why we have that "swag" that attracts so many cultures unto us, because we give off that vibe of security, knowing how to treat a woman and whatnot, and as a result we may attract more women than we have the heart to reject, BUT, as a man, its a real pain in the butt, when you think you and your mate are on the same page and you come to see that it is otherwise... I think this is a reason why alot of Dominican men are possesive -cuz most women down here make it seem like you're only as good as your checkbook. Peace!
 

smealyou

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Apr 21, 2008
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Never resort to "6 stitches" it only brings you down to their level. I have had a similar experience. IMHO
 

Pib

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Jan 1, 2002
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www.dominicancooking.com
Life is seldom black and white. Sometimes victims are pure as snow; sometimes lousy people meet lousy people. Decent people know not to become monsters because the other person is.

He is scum, and so is she. Neither deserves to die or get beaten though. She deserves to be kicked out to the curb (figuratively), and he deserves to be brought on assault charges for hitting her. It's not rocket surgery.
 

Damyan

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Jun 19, 2011
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It's no rocket surgery of course, but IMO you're missing the point -emotions are just that: ENERGY in MOTION and alot of people get swept up in the current of the moment and dont know how to control themselves... I dont think it should boil down to being a matter of legality but should be considered one of morality, respect and discipline...
 

amparocorp

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Aug 11, 2002
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i say the only solution is to import a large group of afghani taliban. they will quickly put an end to any of a dominicans womans foolishness. they will have to keep themselves covered from head to toe, this will stop the whistles and hoots coming from passing cars, the rude remarks to my wife or her other female family when in the mall. they won't be able to drive, this will end the majority of traffic tie ups. no more having a husband in the states and a few boyfriends on the side. i'm against stoning for adultery but cutting access to credit cards and western union would make a good punishment. no TV, yep, the taliban don't believe in TV they say it is just western commercialism, excellent and true. if you are a hot babe in rags then a trip to the mall is not needed and if you ugly, no salon in a mall in paris can fix bone ugly. no novellas that make women think all that fooling around is normal. in fact a couple of taliban in the govt might be a good idea too! jeepeta? if you live within 100 miles of the capital you can walk with your goats. these dominican girls have too much freedom, a little make up on a dark night in a disco and she's too hot too handle, the next morning the truth and cellulite come out........Taliban! Taliban! we need help with our lying, cheating, stealing, ho's (not the majority of dominican women) just the bad ones...............P.S. i know you guys throw rocks for sport but do you think you could maybe learn baseball?..................
 

Pib

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Jan 1, 2002
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www.dominicancooking.com
It's no rocket surgery of course, but IMO you're missing the point -emotions are just that: ENERGY in MOTION and alot of people get swept up in the current of the moment and dont know how to control themselves... I dont think it should boil down to being a matter of legality but should be considered one of morality, respect and discipline...
There's nothing moral about physically attacking somebody that poses no threat to life or limb. Last I heard the punishment for adultery is no longer death (there is no punishment other than social embarrassment).

It really is that simple. If your spouse cheats on you then you can do a number of things that are perfectly moral: leave, divorce, get drunk, agree to an open marriage, get depressed, ask to join them in a threesome, etc. Physical violence is not one of those things.
 

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
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Unless you are governed by "SHARIA LAW", Right AZB?
Then you start gathering "Stones"!

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
you don't need any sheria law to get stoned. Most university students in usa are already doing it without even caring about any law.
AZB
 

SantiagueroRD

Bronze
Apr 20, 2011
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Good Afternoon, There is no excuse for hitting people except in PHYSICAL self defense. Not 'You forced me to hit you by your actions." Domestic violence can be stopped. Both Federal & local law enforcement used to involved in DV all the time without real consequence. All that has changed and for the last two decades will get you fired. You get fired by being convicted then you cannot carry a firearm so you cannot perform your job. Even the military has to deal with employees who have a conviction and are not allowed to carry a firearm. The Hot Blodded Latin excuse is just that an excuse for bad parenting and lack of discipline. Ask the stateside Dominicans who have learned to keep your hands to yourself or get arrested and/or deported.
 

CaptnGlenn

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Mar 29, 2010
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While I don't condone domestic abuse under any circumstance, or ever using physical violence against women; I don't agree with the concept that physical aggression is always wrong. I have come across any number of idiots over the years who posed no physical threat to me, but to whom a good punch in the nose would have been not only deserved justice, but even morally sound. Too bad I never acted on my instincts. :)