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  1. #11
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    Its too late to bring her over here. Cant fly after 35weeks.

    I have a friend in a similar situation, he isnt as far along as you, and he doesnt have the same issues as you. He still wants to protect himself long term.

    You can send clothes, and baby supplies but babies have all kinds of hidden costs. The types of formula/milk they drink changes from month to month. The vitamins & medicines change and can be expensive. I have seen one of these little dropper cost 500rd. There are also doctors visits.

  2. #12
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    think she is wanting to use me for visa. She has not voiced it yet strongly but I feel its coming.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gempull View Post
    think she is wanting to use me for visa. She has not voiced it yet strongly but I feel its coming.
    HOW LOUD DO I HAVE TO SAY IT. GIVE HER NOTHING, LOSE HER LIKE THE MUMPS. Do what you wish for the child when the child arrives but do nothing for the mother, she is playing you for the fool and you are eating right out of her pooridge dish.

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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Massielg View Post
    RV429 you made me feel sick reading your "ADVICE"....

    Buying milk, pampers and paying the school is not enough. The hard part (economic) in raising a child is the day to day expenses...breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, clothes, shoes..and if you would like to offer some confort (internet, cable, to rent a decent house) to your child then the expenses are higher... and you said not to give money to the mother because she could benefit from that...OMG...I dont understand men..you are very very selfish.
    She is the mother of your child...The better she is, the better is your child..think about it..dont be so selfish.
    If you have the oportunity to offer you baby a better life then do it.
    Sorry Massieg, I've been there done that too many ways. The woman wants money for HER and nothing else. If you do not pay for things directly they do not get paid. But she will always have new blue jeans and a salon dooo every week. The child will be fine, the extended family sees to that, there will be no lack of love. Gempull needs to get away from this woman or she will haunt him and his wallet as long as he allows it. Pampers, leche and medicine are expensive but when she calls every other day and asks for more and more, it's her game and she wants money for herself, period.

  6. #15
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    food, pampers, and diapers are more expensive than people are making it seem. I went baby shopping with a friend and payed for it all. it was around 2000rd for food, and milk that would only last a week. I dont want to scare you but babies arent as cheap and easy as they are making it. Now back to protecting yourself...

    financially.

    The best way is if you have a family member out there that can help out. But that's difficult so here are some things we have been brain storming.

    Get a credit card and have her added to the account. Setup all information in your name. Do this in the u.s. with a U.S. address. Before she can use it you will have to register it for travel. it wont work regardless. This way when she needs to go to the store to buy stuff for the baby you have to authorize it and you will have a list times and places she has used the card.

    Do something similar with a low interest card for cash withdrawals or get a prepaid visa. This way you can load it up and authorize it when she needs doctors visits. Find a way to confirm doctors visits with the office.

    This will be more expensive and add to your costs because of interests but maybe it adds to your piece of mind that your money is being used for the right things.

    Taking care of her rent. Rent in RD can be cheap. You can get a decent place between 200-300rd/month, If you want something baller then thats on you. Make the agreement with the landlord and see if you can arrange to pay by check or money order every month. That way you have a receipt of the transaction. Do not do this with a handshake agreement make sure you have some documentation.

    Emotionally, and socially i cant help you. You have to be able to trust her but financially you have to protect yourself so you dont get drained in case you or her run into a emergency. Also explain your views and what you want to acomplish.

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  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by RV429 View Post
    Sorry Massieg, I've been there done that too many ways. The woman wants money for HER and nothing else. If you do not pay for things directly they do not get paid. But she will always have new blue jeans and a salon dooo every week. The child will be fine, the extended family sees to that, there will be no lack of love. Gempull needs to get away from this woman or she will haunt him and his wallet as long as he allows it. Pampers, leche and medicine are expensive but when she calls every other day and asks for more and more, it's her game and she wants money for herself, period.
    He isnt there on a day to day basis so how is he going to provide for the baby w/out sending some money some how? Does plaza lama let you pay online? Does RD have a freshdirect equivalent?

    That would be a awesome way to keep accountability of the food, milk, and diaper expenses of the baby

    When you send the girl $100 she will inevitably spend $50 of it at the salon and on pizza. So you have to find a way to hold that person accountable for their actions.

  9. 08-10-2011 03:51 PM
    This post has been down-ranked. Click "View Post" to view it.

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Massielg View Post
    Then, help her with the visa...what is the problem? a better life for her is a better life for your child... that is my point.

    Do what ever you think is good for you and you baby..but remember dont be selfish.
    He has repeatedly expressed his desire to take care of the child. AS for being a human ATM for the babby-momma, I don't think pulling your head out of the guillotine before the blade falls is being selfish at all.

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Massielg View Post
    Then, help her with the visa...what is the problem? a better life for her is a better life for your child... that is my point.

    Do what ever you think is good for you and you baby..but remember dont be selfish.
    oh, please....enough with the Lifetime "Movie of the Month" crap.
    -I am a woman
    -I am a single mother
    So I have room to talk......

    Go with the majority. Take care of your child, screw her.
    99.9% of Campesinas get knocked up by extranjeros because they are taught from an early age that that is the ticket. Then some dumb a$$ expats knocked up some campesinas and moved 'em to the good part of town and now they're all on some Annie/Daddy Warbucks trip.
    STOP DOING THIS!!!!!
    Support your child, not her......and making her life better will not necessarily make your child's life better because I've seen a lot of kids in the campo running around with mismatched shoes on and later that night their mom is at the Antony Santos concert with fresh nails, fresh hair, and new outfits.
    I get child support for my kids. Is it anywhere near what it costs to maintain them???? Nope! Not even 10%, but all my kids were wanted because I know what the hell it takes to get pregnant.
    Having a child is not the cure for poverty, and these Dominicanas need to learn that. Just cause Jay knocks you up doesn't make you Beyonce.

    SHALENA

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  13. #20
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    Are you sure the child is yours? Get a DNA test when you can. Oldest scam on the Island is you paying for another man's child.

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