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Gempull

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Jan 19, 2011
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I am american. I am going to have a dominican child with a dominican woman. The woman is acting like she will give me problems down the road. She is acting very strange and it is more appearing to me that she is using me. I need help to protect myself and my new daughter. Please help!
 

jrjrth

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Mar 24, 2011
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I am american. I am going to have a dominican child with a dominican woman. The woman is acting like she will give me problems down the road. She is acting very strange and it is more appearing to me that she is using me. I need help to protect myself and my new daughter. Please help!


I guess you never got the answers you were looking for in your last post: Takin Care of Business....

Posted By Gempull two weeks ago....I guess it went to hell in a hand basket quite quickly...I suppose he saw this coming....can anyone help him out with this....ps GEMPULL....when is the baby due BTW???

Taking care of business
I am having a baby soon with my Dominican esposa. I will be very much involved and plan to be very responsible. I am reaching to the friends on DR1 for helpful tips in ensuring my bambina has the most helpful father on the planet. I want to make sure that I am secured in all of my interactions and relations with my bambino and esposa. Any helpful information will be gladly appreciated.

Thanks
 

jrjrth

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Mar 24, 2011
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september

Best of luck to you and your soon to be baby...I hope u find the answers to your questions to protect you...

It might be easier for you to come back to US with her; give birth here and then you hold the birth certicate with US citizenship and you listed as the father....
 

RV429

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Apr 3, 2011
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I am american. I am going to have a dominican child with a dominican woman. The woman is acting like she will give me problems down the road. She is acting very strange and it is more appearing to me that she is using me. I need help to protect myself and my new daughter. Please help!

If you are not married there are no problems she can give you. You are here and she is there (I assume) and she most likely can't get here (US). The child is your only concern.
Don't give the mother money for the child she will use it herself. Send or give to the child in the form of clothes, leche kids stuff, etc. Especially leche and pampers, it's expensive.
When the child is school age, pay for her school directly and not thru the mother. When she needs things give the child the things, don't give the mother the money.
You control this, don't let the mother. By giving the child the things directly you take the mothers control away while still making sure the child has what it needs. Don't get too emotional as you are making lasting decisions and you must understand the mother wants money and nothing else from you.
And let's be straight here, even if you do nothing, someone in the extended family will take care of the child, it won't go hungry or unloved. Don't get guilty pangs, if the child had a Dominican father chances are great that it would get zero support from her sperm donor dad.
If you wish to pass on your daughters rights as an American you will need to do a Consulate Report of Birth Abroad in SD and go that route.
Good luck.
 

Anastacio

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Feb 22, 2010
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September, ,,,,well you have little tim to get your head screwed on. The child will have dual Nationality, that is a given, so she does have options when older, and if you do as I say even earlier. This may take it out of you but you need to put those acting classes to use. If you have been a bit of a dick and tried to play hardcore then forget all that, you now need to indulge in super father/husband of the year. Splash a bit of cash on the mother over the few months, as well as supporting the child, the childs needs cost next to nothing so don't worry about that. Even try to wangle a bit of a semi living in situation with her. What you are aiming to do is to get her to trust you love her enough, to take the child from the country with you and return. No matter what you say, some of these women trust no one, no laws, no official anything and so showing documentation to her is pointless. If you can have a successful trip out of the country, and ruturn as and when said without any drama, give the mother enough money to go a little wild while you are away, then you stand a huge chance of wishing you were leaving with her more often, and that is the ultimate goal, make her believe he child is better, she is better, and so all is better while the child is with you, and at th end of the day, she doesn't lose face as she is does the right thing.
I left changed my entire world for my partner and child, I would not have been with her and certainly would have found an easier way around this whole thing from what I know now, living in country, and doing all this is costly, **** for your career, terrible for metal state and general living conditions environment. If you are here and living separate then you will be paying for two nice places to live, she will not accept anything less than where you standards lie.

If it does get messy, then either walk away, or prepare yourself for several years of diving manipulation, unreasonably demands, theft and the use of the child as a weapon.

My best advice in the Domnican Republic is get the snip before you book your ticket. It can really dictate your life for many years and remember no one, absolutely no one gives a monkys about you here, you are on your own!
 

RV429

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Apr 3, 2011
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no visa for the chica, how can i bring her to us without one

Why on God's earth would you want to bring her here???????????????????????????? You want trouble, that's what you will get!!!!!!!!!
Do what you gotta do for the child, nothing for the mother.
 

Massielg

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Apr 30, 2008
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www.casasdevacacionesrd.blogspot.com
If you are not married there are no problems she can give you. You are here and she is there (I assume) and she most likely can't get here (US). The child is your only concern.
Don't give the mother money for the child she will use it herself. Send or give to the child in the form of clothes, leche kids stuff, etc. Especially leche and pampers, it's expensive.
When the child is school age, pay for her school directly and not thru the mother. When she needs things give the child the things, don't give the mother the money.
You control this, don't let the mother. By giving the child the things directly you take the mothers control away while still making sure the child has what it needs. Don't get too emotional as you are making lasting decisions and you must understand the mother wants money and nothing else from you.
And let's be straight here, even if you do nothing, someone in the extended family will take care of the child, it won't go hungry or unloved. Don't get guilty pangs, if the child had a Dominican father chances are great that it would get zero support from her sperm donor dad.
If you wish to pass on your daughters rights as an American you will need to do a Consulate Report of Birth Abroad in SD and go that route.
Good luck.

RV429 you made me feel sick reading your "ADVICE"....

Buying milk, pampers and paying the school is not enough. The hard part (economic) in raising a child is the day to day expenses...breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, clothes, shoes..and if you would like to offer some confort (internet, cable, to rent a decent house) to your child then the expenses are higher... and you said not to give money to the mother because she could benefit from that...OMG...I dont understand men..you are very very selfish.
She is the mother of your child...The better she is, the better is your child..think about it..dont be so selfish.
If you have the oportunity to offer you baby a better life then do it.
 

Gempull

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Jan 19, 2011
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massielg! but these women do get very unappreciative and forgetful of the sacrifices you make for them. then blame you for their self caused situations. thats why rv429 has the reasoning he has.
 

BigLongBeach

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Feb 8, 2010
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Its too late to bring her over here. Cant fly after 35weeks.

I have a friend in a similar situation, he isnt as far along as you, and he doesnt have the same issues as you. He still wants to protect himself long term.

You can send clothes, and baby supplies but babies have all kinds of hidden costs. The types of formula/milk they drink changes from month to month. The vitamins & medicines change and can be expensive. I have seen one of these little dropper cost 500rd. There are also doctors visits.
 

Gempull

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Jan 19, 2011
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think she is wanting to use me for visa. She has not voiced it yet strongly but I feel its coming.
 

RV429

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Apr 3, 2011
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think she is wanting to use me for visa. She has not voiced it yet strongly but I feel its coming.

HOW LOUD DO I HAVE TO SAY IT. GIVE HER NOTHING, LOSE HER LIKE THE MUMPS. Do what you wish for the child when the child arrives but do nothing for the mother, she is playing you for the fool and you are eating right out of her pooridge dish.
 

RV429

Bronze
Apr 3, 2011
1,574
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RV429 you made me feel sick reading your "ADVICE"....

Buying milk, pampers and paying the school is not enough. The hard part (economic) in raising a child is the day to day expenses...breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, clothes, shoes..and if you would like to offer some confort (internet, cable, to rent a decent house) to your child then the expenses are higher... and you said not to give money to the mother because she could benefit from that...OMG...I dont understand men..you are very very selfish.
She is the mother of your child...The better she is, the better is your child..think about it..dont be so selfish.
If you have the oportunity to offer you baby a better life then do it.

Sorry Massieg, I've been there done that too many ways. The woman wants money for HER and nothing else. If you do not pay for things directly they do not get paid. But she will always have new blue jeans and a salon dooo every week. The child will be fine, the extended family sees to that, there will be no lack of love. Gempull needs to get away from this woman or she will haunt him and his wallet as long as he allows it. Pampers, leche and medicine are expensive but when she calls every other day and asks for more and more, it's her game and she wants money for herself, period.
 

BigLongBeach

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Feb 8, 2010
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food, pampers, and diapers are more expensive than people are making it seem. I went baby shopping with a friend and payed for it all. it was around 2000rd for food, and milk that would only last a week. I dont want to scare you but babies arent as cheap and easy as they are making it. Now back to protecting yourself...

financially.

The best way is if you have a family member out there that can help out. But that's difficult so here are some things we have been brain storming.

Get a credit card and have her added to the account. Setup all information in your name. Do this in the u.s. with a U.S. address. Before she can use it you will have to register it for travel. it wont work regardless. This way when she needs to go to the store to buy stuff for the baby you have to authorize it and you will have a list times and places she has used the card.

Do something similar with a low interest card for cash withdrawals or get a prepaid visa. This way you can load it up and authorize it when she needs doctors visits. Find a way to confirm doctors visits with the office.

This will be more expensive and add to your costs because of interests but maybe it adds to your piece of mind that your money is being used for the right things.

Taking care of her rent. Rent in RD can be cheap. You can get a decent place between 200-300rd/month, If you want something baller then thats on you. Make the agreement with the landlord and see if you can arrange to pay by check or money order every month. That way you have a receipt of the transaction. Do not do this with a handshake agreement make sure you have some documentation.

Emotionally, and socially i cant help you. You have to be able to trust her but financially you have to protect yourself so you dont get drained in case you or her run into a emergency. Also explain your views and what you want to acomplish.
 

BigLongBeach

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Feb 8, 2010
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Sorry Massieg, I've been there done that too many ways. The woman wants money for HER and nothing else. If you do not pay for things directly they do not get paid. But she will always have new blue jeans and a salon dooo every week. The child will be fine, the extended family sees to that, there will be no lack of love. Gempull needs to get away from this woman or she will haunt him and his wallet as long as he allows it. Pampers, leche and medicine are expensive but when she calls every other day and asks for more and more, it's her game and she wants money for herself, period.

He isnt there on a day to day basis so how is he going to provide for the baby w/out sending some money some how? Does plaza lama let you pay online? Does RD have a freshdirect equivalent?

That would be a awesome way to keep accountability of the food, milk, and diaper expenses of the baby

When you send the girl $100 she will inevitably spend $50 of it at the salon and on pizza. So you have to find a way to hold that person accountable for their actions.
 

CaptnGlenn

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Mar 29, 2010
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Then, help her with the visa...what is the problem? a better life for her is a better life for your child... that is my point.

Do what ever you think is good for you and you baby..but remember dont be selfish.

He has repeatedly expressed his desire to take care of the child. AS for being a human ATM for the babby-momma, I don't think pulling your head out of the guillotine before the blade falls is being selfish at all.
 

SKing

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Nov 22, 2007
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Then, help her with the visa...what is the problem? a better life for her is a better life for your child... that is my point.

Do what ever you think is good for you and you baby..but remember dont be selfish.

oh, please....enough with the Lifetime "Movie of the Month" crap.
-I am a woman
-I am a single mother
So I have room to talk......

Go with the majority. Take care of your child, screw her.
99.9% of Campesinas get knocked up by extranjeros because they are taught from an early age that that is the ticket. Then some dumb a$$ expats knocked up some campesinas and moved 'em to the good part of town and now they're all on some Annie/Daddy Warbucks trip.
STOP DOING THIS!!!!!
Support your child, not her......and making her life better will not necessarily make your child's life better because I've seen a lot of kids in the campo running around with mismatched shoes on and later that night their mom is at the Antony Santos concert with fresh nails, fresh hair, and new outfits.
I get child support for my kids. Is it anywhere near what it costs to maintain them???? Nope! Not even 10%, but all my kids were wanted because I know what the hell it takes to get pregnant.
Having a child is not the cure for poverty, and these Dominicanas need to learn that. Just cause Jay knocks you up doesn't make you Beyonce.

SHALENA
 

SKY

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Apr 11, 2004
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Are you sure the child is yours? Get a DNA test when you can. Oldest scam on the Island is you paying for another man's child.
 
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