Mon, 19 Sept
9am - meeting at Citigroup.
11am - meeting at New York Mercantile Exchange (NYMEX).
Translation: make sure all my offshore accounts of embezzled funds remain well invested
Afternoon - meeting with William L. Pollard of Medgar Evers College
Translation: Job interview for 'former world leaders' lecturer position opening up at the college next fall.
5:30pm - meeting with UN Secretary-General Ban ki-moon at the UN headquarters.
Translation: a trip to the principles office. memorize these words: 'es que no mi faulta'. It's just an hour, try to stay awake. Definitely no Korean/Dog Eating joke. Note to self: you do NOT love Ban ki-moon long time, no matter how ronry he is.
6:30pm - reception and South-South News (South-South News)
7pm - Participation in the South-South Awards at the Waldorf Astoria. This year the theme of the awards is the use of Information and Communication Technologies.
Translation: Free Dinner. When giving out awards on information technology, make sure to NOT mention the lost database of expat CEDULA's back home. When in doubt, repeat magic words: "es que, no mi faulta!"
Tue, 20 September
10am - meeting with President of the Inter-American Development Bank (IDB), Luis Alberto Moreno.
Translation: put on lipstick and pucker up, daddy needs more free money for more construction projects, margarita needs some new shoes! Name drop like crazy, "Luis, did you know I'm meeting Obama after this meeting? what would he think if you didn't fund my embezzlement drive?"
2pm - Open Government Partnership with the participation of United States President Barack Obama.
Translation: a good time to remind everyone how OPEN my administration is to receiving bribes from everyone: not just companies and foreign interests, but also from the narcotics industry. Try to get as many photos as possible with Barack for the sake of posterity. It's not everyday American elects a one-term black president!
5pm - visit to Library CUNY Dominican Studies in the North Academic Center, City College.
Translation: free dinner - ojala some Dominican food. Try to meet the world renowned CUNY linguist.
Wed, 21 Sept
9am - inauguration of the 66th United Nations General Assembly
Translation: BORING! Put on eye shades and nurse hangover from the Hustler Club last night. Diablo my entourage and I got L-O-D-I-D last night!
1:15pm - official lunch hosted by the UN Secretary General to the Heads of State and delegations.
Translation: heads of state? they love me, they really love me!
3pm - bilateral meeting with President of Equatorial Guinea, Obiang Ngema at the UN headquarters.
Translation: Obiang is a ruthless dictator who treats Equitorial Guinea as his personal piggy bank. He imprisons and tortures his political opponents. He brags about being a cannibal and eating the brains of his political enemies. TAKE LOTS OF NOTES! PLD can learn a LOT from this guy!
7pm reception hosted by President of the United States, Barack Obama and the First Lady.
Translation: Dinner at the white house with a not so white host - and after - BUNGA BUNGA!
Thu, 22 Sept
7:30am - breakfast meeting "financial speculation in food and oil Future Markets: A New International Consensus On Price Stability" in Riverview Room, Hotel Millennium UN Plaza Hotel, One United Nations Plaza.
9:30am - press conference on the subject of speculation in the pressroom of the UN.
3:45pm - President Fernandez will speak at the 66th UN General Assembly of the United Nations
Translation: Stick to message - 'no mi faulta' 'no mi faulta', and 'no mi faulta'!
5:30pm - Tastes of the World Reception.
Translation: hosted by the hustler club, women from all over the world, and all at your leisure if you possess a state-funded American Express black credit card!
I just hope the next morning, we can fly private jet home? No? Oh man, you mean we have to slum it on JetBlue with all the other Dominican plebs? Grrr...
9am - meeting at Citigroup.
11am - meeting at New York Mercantile Exchange (NYMEX).
Translation: make sure all my offshore accounts of embezzled funds remain well invested
Afternoon - meeting with William L. Pollard of Medgar Evers College
Translation: Job interview for 'former world leaders' lecturer position opening up at the college next fall.
5:30pm - meeting with UN Secretary-General Ban ki-moon at the UN headquarters.
Translation: a trip to the principles office. memorize these words: 'es que no mi faulta'. It's just an hour, try to stay awake. Definitely no Korean/Dog Eating joke. Note to self: you do NOT love Ban ki-moon long time, no matter how ronry he is.
6:30pm - reception and South-South News (South-South News)
7pm - Participation in the South-South Awards at the Waldorf Astoria. This year the theme of the awards is the use of Information and Communication Technologies.
Translation: Free Dinner. When giving out awards on information technology, make sure to NOT mention the lost database of expat CEDULA's back home. When in doubt, repeat magic words: "es que, no mi faulta!"
Tue, 20 September
10am - meeting with President of the Inter-American Development Bank (IDB), Luis Alberto Moreno.
Translation: put on lipstick and pucker up, daddy needs more free money for more construction projects, margarita needs some new shoes! Name drop like crazy, "Luis, did you know I'm meeting Obama after this meeting? what would he think if you didn't fund my embezzlement drive?"
2pm - Open Government Partnership with the participation of United States President Barack Obama.
Translation: a good time to remind everyone how OPEN my administration is to receiving bribes from everyone: not just companies and foreign interests, but also from the narcotics industry. Try to get as many photos as possible with Barack for the sake of posterity. It's not everyday American elects a one-term black president!
5pm - visit to Library CUNY Dominican Studies in the North Academic Center, City College.
Translation: free dinner - ojala some Dominican food. Try to meet the world renowned CUNY linguist.
Wed, 21 Sept
9am - inauguration of the 66th United Nations General Assembly
Translation: BORING! Put on eye shades and nurse hangover from the Hustler Club last night. Diablo my entourage and I got L-O-D-I-D last night!
1:15pm - official lunch hosted by the UN Secretary General to the Heads of State and delegations.
Translation: heads of state? they love me, they really love me!
3pm - bilateral meeting with President of Equatorial Guinea, Obiang Ngema at the UN headquarters.
Translation: Obiang is a ruthless dictator who treats Equitorial Guinea as his personal piggy bank. He imprisons and tortures his political opponents. He brags about being a cannibal and eating the brains of his political enemies. TAKE LOTS OF NOTES! PLD can learn a LOT from this guy!
7pm reception hosted by President of the United States, Barack Obama and the First Lady.
Translation: Dinner at the white house with a not so white host - and after - BUNGA BUNGA!
Thu, 22 Sept
7:30am - breakfast meeting "financial speculation in food and oil Future Markets: A New International Consensus On Price Stability" in Riverview Room, Hotel Millennium UN Plaza Hotel, One United Nations Plaza.
9:30am - press conference on the subject of speculation in the pressroom of the UN.
3:45pm - President Fernandez will speak at the 66th UN General Assembly of the United Nations
Translation: Stick to message - 'no mi faulta' 'no mi faulta', and 'no mi faulta'!
5:30pm - Tastes of the World Reception.
Translation: hosted by the hustler club, women from all over the world, and all at your leisure if you possess a state-funded American Express black credit card!
I just hope the next morning, we can fly private jet home? No? Oh man, you mean we have to slum it on JetBlue with all the other Dominican plebs? Grrr...